International business english, Svitlana Stetsy (LeadUp Training), (Workshop for freelance, part 3)

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"Killer proposals: best practices"
International Business English
Lviv
December 2014
Master class
by Svitlana Stetsyk

2. Lead-Up To Your Success!
Business letter writing checklist
When you write a business letter,
use this checklist to remind you of the
key principles of effective letter writing.
Keep it Short
• Cut needless words and needless information.
• Cut stale phrases and redundant statements.
• Cut the first paragraph if it refers to previous
correspondence.
• Cut the last paragraph if it asks for future
correspondence.

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Keep it Simple
• Use familiar words, short sentences and short paragraphs.
• Keep your subject matter as simple as possible.
• Keep related information together.
• Use a conversational style.
Keep it Strong
• Answer the reader's question in the first paragraph.
• Give your answer and then explain why.
• Use concrete words and examples.
• Keep to the subject.
Keep it Sincere
• Answer promptly.
• Be human and as friendly as possible.
• Write as if you were talking to your reader.

4. Lead-Up To Your Success!
Four Tips for International Business
Writing
1. Simplify your sentence structure.
2. Keep your verb tenses and verbs simple.
3. Avoid the use of idioms, slang, jargon,
and cultural references.
4. Group your ideas into shorter paragraphs
and lists and use graphics when possible.

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• The new system, which is linked to cloud
computing, will allow users to download files,
even large graphic files, much faster than it
used to take them.
• The new system is linked to cloud
computing. Users can download even large
graphic files much faster.

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Keep these guidelines in mind when revising your
sentences:
• Avoid using several phrases and clauses in the
same sentence. As shown in the example above, phrases and
clauses make a sentence harder to understand.
• Break long sentences into two or three shorter
ones. Make sure a sentence presents only one
or two main ideas. You want the reader to understand each
point, especially if you are trying to persuade him or her to accept
your proposal and hire your company.
• Use transition words to help readers follow your
thinking. Transition words include, “first, second,” “finally,” “as a
result,” “therefore,” “for example,” “next,” “also,” “in addition,” and
so on. These words help clarify the logical connections among ideas
in your sentences.

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We understand that Hyperion’s major video game line,
which last year had 40 percent of the market, has lost
considerable market share—the first time the company
has experienced a loss since it was founded. The
reasons for the loss in market share are cloud
computing in the United States and new animations
that other countries have developed over the past five
years to change the way video games are played. New
3-D gaming technology has been developed by
Advaitya Games in India. More companies in the
United States and Europe are adopting this new
technology and writing new games for the platforms.
Companies that use old technologies are quickly losing
market share.

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We understand that Hyperion’s major video game line
has lost considerable market share for the first time in
the company’s history. Last year, Hyperion had 40
percent of the gaming market. This year it has only 25
percent of the market. The reasons for the loss in
market share are clear to those who follow
developments in the industry. Over the past five years,
cloud computing in the United States and new
animations from other countries have changed the way
video games are played. Advaitya Games in India, for
example, has developed a new 3-D gaming technology.
Today, more companies in the United States and
Europe are adopting this technology and writing games
for the new platforms. As a result, companies that use
old technologies are quickly losing market share.

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Use Simpler Verb Forms
Complex: We would have liked to include more
precise cost estimates in our proposal.
However, the price of raw materials has
proved to be too unpredictable at this time.
Simpler: Unfortunately, we cannot include more
precise cost estimates in our proposal. The
price of raw materials is too unpredictable at
this time.

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Avoid Use Instead
would have liked to . . . cannot . . .
will be managing . . . will manage . . .
had been using . . . used . . .
has been extensively improved . . is greatly improved . .
might have been able to work . . . Might have worked
is able to bring . . . can bring . . .

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Use One-Word Verbs instead of Phrasal Verbs
Avoid Use Instead
take issue with disagree
make clear clarify, explain
look at examine
shut out exclude
keep abreast of monitor
talk over discuss
keep on track supervise, monitor
bring up (an issue) raise
turn down (an offer) decline
turn down (the sound) lower

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Use Active instead of Passive Voice
Avoid Passive Voice Use Active Voice Instead
letters are being written we are writing letters
team will be managed the project leader will manage
results had been reported the company reported the results
Exception: The passive voice is useful when you need to be
diplomatic. For example, suppose one of your clients
made a serious error in submitting specifications to you
for a new power system. You might point this out by
using the diplomatic passive voice.

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Diplomatic passive voice: We found that an
error had been made in the original
specifications we received. (No blame is
assigned for the error.)

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Avoid Idioms, Slang, Jargon, and Cultural
References
Use Short Paragraphs, Numbered and Bulleted
Lists, and Graphics

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Original
• The project consists of two phases. Phase I—Data
Center Design—consists of five steps in the
design process. We will need to develop detailed
space requirements, review data center
hardware, evaluate the pros and cons of different
layouts, prepare data center blueprints, and have
weekly progress meetings with the client. Phase
II—Data Center Construction—consists of three
steps. We will need to prepare all architectural
and engineering blueprints, review our work with
the client, and present the final blueprints and
specifications to the contractors.

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Short Paragraphs
The project consists of two phases. Phase I—Data Center
Design—consists of five steps. We will need to develop
detailed space requirements, review data center
hardware, evaluate the pros and cons of different
layouts, prepare data center blueprints, and have
weekly progress meetings with the client.
Phase II—Data Center Construction—consists of three
steps.
We will need to prepare all architectural and engineering
blueprints, Brief Guide to review our work with the
client, and present the final blueprints and
specifications to the contractors.

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Numbered List
The project consists of two phases. Phase I—Data Center
Design—consists of five steps:
1. Develop detailed space requirements.
2. Review data center hardware.
3. Evaluate the pros and cons of different layouts.
4. Prepare preliminary blueprints.
5. Have weekly progress meetings with the client.
Phase II—Data Center Construction—consists of three steps:
1. Prepare all final architectural and engineering blueprints.
2. Review our work with the client.
3. Present the final blueprints and specifications to the
contractors.

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Bulleted List
The project consists of two phases.
Phase I—Data Center Design— consists of the following
steps:
• Develop detailed space requirements.
• Review data center hardware.
• Evaluate the pros and cons of different layouts.
• Prepare preliminary blueprints.
• Have weekly progress meetings with the client.
Phase II—Data Center Construction—consists of three
steps:
• Prepare all final architectural and engineering blueprints.
• Review our work with the client.
• Present the final blueprints and specifications to the contractors.

21. 1. Simplify your sentence structure
• Avoid using several clauses and phrases in the same sentence
• Break long sentences into two or three shorter ones
• Use transition words to help readers follow your thinking
2. Keep your verbs and verb tenses simple
• Use time cues with verb tenses (“today,”
“yesterday,” “next week”)
• Use simpler verb forms
• Use one-word verbs instead
of phrasal verbs
• Use the active instead of the passive voice
3. Avoid idioms, slang, jargon, and cultural
references in your writing
4. Use short paragraphs, numbered or bulleted lists, and
graphics to present your ideas
Lead-Up To Your Success!