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Human Connection: The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience (Agile Testing Days 2022)

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Human Connection: The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience (Agile Testing Days 2022)

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Talk given at Agile Testing Days 2022 together with Shiva Krishnan

Main statement: Human connection is the foundation for any pairing technique to be effective

Abstract:

“Pairing does not work... it is time-consuming and unlike what we see in workshops and conferences. When we do it in real life it is very difficult and not productive.” Have you heard such complaints about pairing or even experienced some of these pains?

Many people think that pairing is just a technique. So, if we are not experiencing the benefits of pairing, we blame the technique or its implementation. What if there is more to it?

We discovered that human connection is the key to successful pairing. In fact, concepts from Transactional Analysis like contracts and strokes help us build not only a professional relationship but also a human connection. Join this talk to learn concrete steps on how to do it in your context. In the end, how we treat the other human is fundamental for any pairing technique to be effective!

Key learning:
- Learn how to have a productive pairing experience
- Get to know tools and concepts to help creating human connections
- Gain insights on the outcomes of pairing when working well
- Discover the joy of co-creating with another human

Talk given at Agile Testing Days 2022 together with Shiva Krishnan

Main statement: Human connection is the foundation for any pairing technique to be effective

Abstract:

“Pairing does not work... it is time-consuming and unlike what we see in workshops and conferences. When we do it in real life it is very difficult and not productive.” Have you heard such complaints about pairing or even experienced some of these pains?

Many people think that pairing is just a technique. So, if we are not experiencing the benefits of pairing, we blame the technique or its implementation. What if there is more to it?

We discovered that human connection is the key to successful pairing. In fact, concepts from Transactional Analysis like contracts and strokes help us build not only a professional relationship but also a human connection. Join this talk to learn concrete steps on how to do it in your context. In the end, how we treat the other human is fundamental for any pairing technique to be effective!

Key learning:
- Learn how to have a productive pairing experience
- Get to know tools and concepts to help creating human connections
- Gain insights on the outcomes of pairing when working well
- Discover the joy of co-creating with another human

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Human Connection: The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience (Agile Testing Days 2022)

  1. 1. HUMAN CONNECTION The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Shiva Krishnan & Lisi Hocke
  2. 2. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A Story in 4 Chapters
  3. 3. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A Story in 4 Chapters Origin How did it all start?
  4. 4. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A Story in 4 Chapters Origin How did it all start? Journey What did we learn?
  5. 5. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A Story in 4 Chapters Origin How did it all start? Journey What did we learn? Impact What changed? You What can you do?
  6. 6. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A Story in 4 Chapters Origin How did it all start? Journey What did we learn? Impact What changed? You What can you do?
  7. 7. ORIGIN How did it all start? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  8. 8. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke SHIVA‘S LEADERSHIP WORKSHOP SERIES
  9. 9. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke LET’S WORKTOGETHER
  10. 10. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke HOW ABOUT PAIRING?
  11. 11. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke SO IT ALL STARTED…
  12. 12. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT
  13. 13. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants
  14. 14. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants 6 half-day workshops
  15. 15. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants 6 half-day workshops Additional offers in between
  16. 16. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants 6 half-day workshops Additional offers in between Several follow- up sessions
  17. 17. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants 6 half-day workshops Overall nearly 1 year Additional offers in between Several follow- up sessions
  18. 18. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke A BIT MORE CONTEXT 10 participants 6 half-day workshops Overall nearly 1 year Additional offers in between Several follow- up sessions Re-creating the whole series from the ground
  19. 19. JOURNEY What did we learn? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  20. 20. SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  21. 21. SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke What are our expectations?
  22. 22. SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke What are our expectations? What is important to each of us? Why?
  23. 23. SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke What are our expectations? What is important to each of us? Why? What can put us at ease?
  24. 24. SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke What are our expectations? Where are our boundaries? What is important to each of us? Why? What can put us at ease?
  25. 25. WHAT IS A CONTRACT? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  26. 26. WHAT IS A CONTRACT? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “Contracting” is a concept from Transactional Analysis, a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy or coaching
  27. 27. WHAT IS A CONTRACT? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Explicit bilateral commitment to a well- defined course of action (Eric Berne, 1966) “Contracting” is a concept from Transactional Analysis, a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy or coaching
  28. 28. TYPES OF CONTRACTS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  29. 29. TYPES OF CONTRACTS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Procedural • Admin stuff • Time, place, money
  30. 30. TYPES OF CONTRACTS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Procedural • Admin stuff • Time, place, money Professional • Expectations from each role • Understand responsibilities
  31. 31. TYPES OF CONTRACTS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Procedural • Admin stuff • Time, place, money Professional • Expectations from each role • Understand responsibilities Psychological • Style of working • Underlying dynamics • Unspoken Feelings
  32. 32. OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT) @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  33. 33. OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT) Procedural “We have 1 feedback call after each workshop” @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  34. 34. OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT) Procedural “We have 1 feedback call after each workshop” Professional “When facilitating, we expect each other to align and potentially communicate a change of plans via our back channel chat” @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  35. 35. OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT) Procedural “We have 1 feedback call after each workshop” Professional “When facilitating, we expect each other to align and potentially communicate a change of plans via our back channel chat” Psychological “We can feel safe to talk about boundaries when crossed” @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  36. 36. WHATWE IMAGINED OUR JOURNEYTO LOOK LIKE WITH SUCH A GREAT START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  37. 37. WHATWE IMAGINED OUR JOURNEYTO LOOK LIKE WITH SUCH A GREAT START @shiv_krish & @lisihocke … and how it actually went
  38. 38. CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  39. 39. CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Unspoken assumptions
  40. 40. CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Unspoken assumptions → Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
  41. 41. GENUINE APPRECIATIONS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  42. 42. GENUINE APPRECIATIONS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Uncertainty: am I safe with the other person?
  43. 43. GENUINE APPRECIATIONS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Uncertainty: am I safe with the other person? → Appreciate and acknowledge
  44. 44. PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  45. 45. PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Negative impact on participants
  46. 46. PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Negative impact on participants → Influence each other positively
  47. 47. LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  48. 48. LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Failing to cater to our needs
  49. 49. LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Failing to cater to our needs → Align on how you work well together
  50. 50. TREAT AS EQUALS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  51. 51. TREAT AS EQUALS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Dismissing each other’s ideas
  52. 52. TREAT AS EQUALS @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Dismissing each other’s ideas → Respect each other and treat each other with dignity
  53. 53. SOWHAT MADE PAIRING WORK FOR US? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  54. 54. SOWHAT MADE PAIRING WORK FOR US? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Investing in the human connection was the key for us
  55. 55. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  56. 56. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
  57. 57. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions 2. Appreciate and acknowledge
  58. 58. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions 2. Appreciate and acknowledge 3. Influence each other positively
  59. 59. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions 2. Appreciate and acknowledge 3. Influence each other positively 4. Align on how you work well together
  60. 60. FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR USWHEN PAIRING @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions 2. Appreciate and acknowledge 3. Influence each other positively 4. Align on how you work well together 5. Respect and treat each other with dignity
  61. 61. IMPACT Was changed? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  62. 62. PERSONAL GROWTH – LEARNING ASWE TEACH & LEADING BY EXAMPLE @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  63. 63. SHARED OWNERSHIP – IT BECAME “OURS” @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  64. 64. WAY MORE IMPACTFUL WORKSHOPS –WE COULDN’T HAVE DONETHIS ON OUR OWN @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  65. 65. YOU What can you do? @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  66. 66. REMINDER:WHAT WORKED FOR US @shiv_krish & @lisihocke 1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions 2. Appreciate and acknowledge 3. Influence each other positively 4. Align on how you work well together 5. Respect and treat each other with dignity
  67. 67. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  68. 68. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “How can I let you know if something is not working?”
  69. 69. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “How can I let you know if something is not working?” “What is our time and space for appreciations?”
  70. 70. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “How can I let you know if something is not working?” “What is our time and space for appreciations?” “How will we keep each other accountable?”
  71. 71. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “What do you need so we can work well together?” “How can I let you know if something is not working?” “What is our time and space for appreciations?” “How will we keep each other accountable?”
  72. 72. FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR @shiv_krish & @lisihocke “What do you need so we can work well together?” “How can I let you know if something is not working?” “What is our time and space for appreciations?” “How will we keep each other accountable?” “What will make you think we own this together?”
  73. 73. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke
  74. 74. @shiv_krish & @lisihocke HUMAN CONNECTION The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience
  75. 75. HUMAN CONNECTION The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience @shiv_krish & @lisihocke Recommended resources: bit.ly/leadershipResources Thank you!

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