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4 tips on setting boundaries
1. 4 Tips on Setting
Boundaries
By: Kassandra Bibas, ACC
http://www.kassandrabibas.com
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
2. IDENTIFY YOUR TOP 3 NON-NEGOTIABLES
What are the top three priorities of your life and how
do you fit them into your daily/weekly schedule?
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
3. For example,
• If your top three priorities are God, family and
health, the 3 non-negotiables you might choose
could include:
Morning prayer
Eating dinner as a family at least five nights a week
Exercising daily
A non-negotiable is something that gets done NO
MATTER what else you have to do during that day
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
4. But…
• Suffer not one exception
• A NON-NEGOTIABLE is non-negotiable
• If it’s your priority, you have to make it one…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
5. SAY NO AND MEAN IT
Learn to say no clearly, concisely and completely.
A no that sounds like a yes is not a no.
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
6. Assert without debating
• When you say no, there’s no need to explain, clarify
or debate the reasoning behind your decision
• Make the decision, communicate it and resist the
temptation to defend your position
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
7. Remember…
• “Find your voice to ask for what you want.
Everybody has the right to tell you no or yes, but you
always have the right to ask.”
• - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
8. GIVE YOURSELF 24 HOURS TO DECIDE…
No decision made in a hurry works out…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
9. Allow people to make
requests…
• Not demands…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
10. favor, request 24 hours to think
about it…
• It’ll give you time to evaluate, consider & make the
best choice for you…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
11. DECIDE WHERE YOUR LIMIT IS
Before you get a request, know where you’re drawing the line…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
12. For example,
• Do you work on Sundays?
• Can a friend ask you to babysit with less than 24
hours notice and you say yes?
• Are you willing to drop your plans to help out a
sibling?
• Will you work late and miss your child’s recital?
• Will you skip the gym in order to help out a friend?
• Will you stay up all night if your spouse needs help
with a last-minute project he/she procrastinated
on?
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
13. Know where you
stand before you have
to take a stand…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
14. Learn more about creating
AND keeping healthy
boundaries:
Register for The Healthy Boundaries Master Class
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l