3. Success in any field, but especially in business, is about working with people, not against them. Business is a human enterprise, driven and determined by people.
4. Connecting – sharing my knowledge and resources, time and energy, friends and associates, and empathy and compassion in a continual effort to provide value to others, while coincidentally increasing my own.
7. Hard part: You’ve got to be more than willing to accept generosity. Often, you’ve got to go out and ask for it.
8. Connecting is a constant process of giving and receiving – of asking for and offering help. By putting people in contact with one another, by giving your time and expertise and sharing them freely, the pie gets bigger for everyone.
10. The more specific about where you want to go in life, the easier it becomes to develop a networking strategy to get there.
11. The great myth of “networking” is that you start reaching out to others only when you need something like a job. In reality, people who have the largest circle of contacts, mentors and friends know that you must reach out to others long before you need anything at all.
12. Too often, we get caught up efficiently doing ineffective things, focusing solely on the work that will get us through the day. The idea isn’t to find oneself another environment tomorrow – be it a new job or a new economy – but to be constantly creating the environment and community you want for yourself, no matter what may occur.
14. The choice isn’t between success and failure; it’s between choosing risk and striving for greatness, or risking nothing and being certain of mediocrity.
15. The recipe for achievement is a medley of self-assuredness, dogged persistence, and audacity. Encounters of the audacious kind are what successful careers are built upon.
16. All people naturally care, generally above and beyond anything else, about what it is they do. If you are informed enough to step comfortably into their world and talk knowledgably, their appreciation will be tangible.
17. You have to reach beyond the abstract and get to someone as an individual. Find a way to become part of those things that are of most interest to them, and you will have found a way to become part of their life.
18. Find a common ground that is deeper and richer than what can be discovered in a serendipitous encounter. Armed with knowledge about a person’s passions, needs or interests, you can do more than connect; you’ll have an opportunity to bond and impress.
19. In 15 seconds, use four rules for warm calling – 1) Convey credibility by mentioning a familiar name or institution, 2) State your value proposition, 3) Impart urgency and convenience by being prepared to do whatever it takes whenever it takes to meet the other person on his terms and 4) Be prepared to offer a compromise that secures a definite follow-up at a minimum.
21. Contrary to popular business wisdom, I don’t believe there has to be a rigid line between our private and public lives.
23. Real networking is about finding ways to make other people more successful. It is about working hard to give more than you get.
24. A relationship-driven career is good for the companies you work for because everyone benefits from your own growth – it’s the value you bring that makes people want to connect with you.
25. Lifetime corporate employment is dead; we’re all free agents now, managing our own careers across multiple jobs and companies. And because today’s primary currency is information, a wide-reaching network is one of the surest ways to become and remain thought leaders in our respective fields.
33. Job security? Experience will not save you in hard times, nor will hard work or talent. If you need a job, money, advice, help, hope or a means to make a sale, there’s only one surefire, fail-safe place to find them – with your extended circle or friends and associates.
35. It’s easier to get ahead when those below you are happy to help you get ahead, rather than hoping for your downfall.
36. Each of us is now a brand. Gone are the days when your value as an employee was linked to your loyalty and seniority. Companies use branding to develop strong, enduring relationships with customers. In today’s fluid economy, you must do the same with your network.
37. I would argue that your relationships with others are your finest, most credible expression of who you are and what you have to offer. Nothing else compares.
38. An inner truth about the skill of reaching out to others: Those who are best at it don’t network – they make friends. They gain admirers and win trust precisely because their amicable overtures extend to everyone. A widening circle of influence is an unintended result, not a calculated aim.
39. When you mention someone both of you have in common, all of a sudden the person you’re calling has an obligation not only to you but also to the friend or associate you just mentioned.
46. When we are truly passionate about something, it’s contagious. Our passion draws other people to who we are and what we care about. Others respond by letting their guard down. Which is why sharing your passion is important in business.
47. Good follow-up alone elevates you above 95 percent of your peers. The follow up is the hammer and nails of your networking tool kit. In fact, FOLLOW-UP IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN ANY FIELD.
48. In a follow-up e-mail, I like to cite something in particular we talked about in the course of our conversation – whether a shared hobby or business interest – that serves as a mental reminder of who I am.
49. But remember – and this is critical – don’t remind them of what they can do for you, but focus on what you might be able to do for them. It’s about giving them a reason to want to follow up.
50. Real, actionable insight mostly comes from experience, books, and other people. Roundtable discussions and keynote speeches can be fun, even inspirational, but rarely is there the time to impart true knowledge.
51. Smart salespeople – in fact, smart employees and business owners of all stripes – spend 80 percent of their time building strong relationships with the people they do business with. The slickest PowerPoint presentation can’t compete with the development of real affection and trust in capturing the hearts and minds of people.
52. Giving speeches is one of the easiest and most effective ways to get yourself, your business, and your ideas seen, heard of, and remembered.
53. The opportunity to speak exists everywhere, paid or unpaid. It’s fun, it can be profitable, and there’s no better way to get yourself known – and get to know others – at an event. Study after study shows that the more speeches one gives, the higher one’s income bracket tends to be.
54. As a speaker at a conference, you have a special status, making meeting people much easier.
55. You need something to say. You need content. You need to develop a spiel about the niche you occupy.
56. When sessions open up for questions, try and be among the first people to put your hand up in the air. A really well formed and insightful question is a mini-opportunity to get seen by the entire audience. Be sure to introduce yourself, tell people what you do, and then ask a question that leaves the audience buzzing. Ideally, the question should be related to your expertise so you have something to say when someone comes up and says, “That was an interesting question.”
57. Helping other people make connections makes you a center of influence. Once you’ve created an opportunity to meet new people, establish yourself as an information hub – a key role of any good networker.
58. Ask questions that go beyond business, and reveal a little about yourself in a way that introduces vulnerability. Yes, vulnerability – it’s contagious! All these things come together to create a genuine connection.
59. You’ll find a disproportionate amount of super-connectors as headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, politicians, journalists and PR pros, because such positions require these folks’ innate abilities.
61. It’s not necessarily our strongest contacts, like friends and family, that prove the most powerful; to the contrary, often the most important people in our network are those who are acquaintances. Remember “the strength of weak ties.” Acquaintances, in short, represent a source of social power, and the more acquaintances you have, the more powerful you are.
64. Small talk is the most important talk we do. Those that had built businesses and climbed the corporate ladder with amazing speed were those who could confidently make conversation with anyone in any situation. The more successfully you use language, the faster you can get ahead in life.
65. They claim that when you first meet a person, you should avoid unpleasant, overly personal, and highly controversial issues. Wrong! Don’t listen to these people! Nothing has contributed more to the development of boring chitchats everywhere.
66. When it comes to making an impression, differentiation is the name of the game. Confound expectation. Shake it up. How? There’s one guaranteed way to stand out in the professional world: Be yourself. I believe that vulnerability – yes, vulnerability – is one of the most underappreciated assets in business today.
67. Power today comes from sharing information, not withholding it. More than ever, the lines of demarcating the personal and the professional have blurred. We’re an open-source society, and that calls for open-source behavior. And as a rule, not many secrets are worth the energy required to keep them secret. Being upfront with people confers respect; it pays them the compliment of candor.
68. It’s a call to be honest, open, and vulnerable enough to genuinely allow other people into your life so that they can be vulnerable in return.
69. Even when there is disagreement, I’ve found people will respect you more for putting your cards on the table.
70. Once you know heartfelt candor is more effective than canned quips in starting a meaningful conversation, the idea of “breaking the ice” becomes easy. Too many of us believe “breaking the ice” means coming up with a brilliant, witty, or extravagantly insightful remark.
71. When you realize the best icebreaker is a few words from the heart, the act of starting a conversation becomes far less daunting. Again and again I’m surprised by the power of the vulnerability principle in the art of making small talk.
72. The message here is that we can go through life, particularly conferences and other professional gatherings, making shallow, run-of-the-mill conversations with strangers that remain strangers. Or we can put a little of ourselves, our real selves, on the line, give people a glimpse of our humanity, and create the opportunity for a deeper connection. We have a choice. These days, I rarely blanch at the chance to introduce topics of conversation that some consider off-limits. Spirituality, romance, politics – these are some of the issues that make life worth living.
73. The real winners – those with astounding careers, warm relationships, and unstoppable charisma – are those people who put it all out there and don’t waste a bunch of time and energy trying to be something (or someone) they’re not. Charm is simply a matter of being yourself. Your uniqueness is your power. We are all born with innate winning traits to be a masterful small talker.
74. You have about ten seconds before a person decides, subconsciously, whether they like you or not. In that short period of time we don’t exchange a lot of words; our judgment is mostly based on nonverbal communication.
75. People are wowed by social decisiveness when it’s offered with compassion and warmth.
76. Give a hearty smile and maintain a good balance of eye contact. Unfold your arms and relax. Nod your head and lean in, but without invading the other person’s space. Learn to touch people. Touching is a powerful act. (Touch the elbow when shaking hands.)
77. The surest way to become special in others’ eyes is to make them feel special.
78. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. Every person’s deepest life-long desire is to be significant and to be recognized.
79. We’re often so worried about what we’re going to say next that we don’t hear what’s being said to us now.
81. There is an added nuance to discovering what matters to people. Helping someone accomplish his or her deepest desires is critical not only to forming a bond but to keeping that bond strong and growing.
82. Three things engender a deep emotional bond between people – health, wealth and children. But remember, if you’re going to deal with people’s most important issues, give those issues the commitment that they deserve. Otherwise your best intentions will backfire.
83. Real power comes from being indispensable. Indispensability comes from being a switchboard, parceling out as much information, contacts and goodwill to as many people in as many different worlds as possible. It’s a sort of career karma.
84. The strength of your network derives as much from the diversity of your relationships as it does from their quality or quantity.
85. Who you know determines how effectively you can apply what you know. Getting things done, and climbing the walls of your company require having the right relationships.
86. You can be more successful in two months by becoming really interested in other people’s success than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in your own success.
90. Content involves a much more specialized form of knowledge. It’s knowing what you have that most others do not. It’s your expertise. It’s your differentiation. It’s the message that will make your brand unique, attracting others to become a part of your network. What will set you apart from everybody else is the relentlessness you bring to learning and presenting and selling your content.
91. A unique point of view is one of the only ways to ensure that today, tomorrow and a year from now you’ll have a job.
92. In America’s information economy, we frame our competitive advantage in terms of knowledge and innovation. That means today’s market values creativity over mere competence and expertise over general knowledge. If you can do what can be done by anyone, there will always be someone willing to do it for less.
93. The one thing no one has figured out how to outsource is the creation of ideas. You can’t replace people who day in and day out offer the kind of content or unique ways of thinking that promise their company an edge.
95. Focus on and cultivate your strengths so that your weaknesses matter less.
96. Rejection is something I face on a regular basis. If you’re going to creative, cutting edge, out of the mainstream, you’d better get used to rocking the boat. And when you’re rocking the boat, someone will always be trying to push you off. That’s the bet you have to take.
97. Use your content to tell stories that move people. In telling a gripping story, understand that the message must be both simple and universal.
98. The most gripping stories are those concerning identity – who we are, where we’ve come from, and where we are going. They tap into something common to all people.
99. Few talents are more successful to managerial success than knowing how to tell a good story.
100. Your content will become the guiding star of your brand, helping to integrate all your connecting efforts around a uniform and powerful mission. Good personal brands to three highly significant things for your network of contacts: They provide a credible, distinctive, and trustworthy identity. They project a compelling message. They attract more and more people to you and your cause, as you’ll stand out in an increasingly cluttered world.
101. In terms of branding, the bottom line for everyone: Become distinct or extinct.
102. Stand out! Style matters. Whether you like it or not, clothing, letterheads, hairstyles, business cards and conversational styles are all noticed – big time. The design of your brand is critical.
103. If you don’t promote yourself, however graciously, no one else will!
104. Most important, remember that your circle of friends, colleagues, clients, and customers is the most powerful vehicle you’ve got to get the word out about what you do. What they say about you will ultimately determine the value of your brand.
108. The hard truth is that the ones who get ahead are usually those who know how to make highly placed people feel good about having them around.
109. Too much fuss or adoration will kill your efforts before they begin. Folks are folks.
110. Trust is the essential element of mixing with powerful and famous people – trust that you’ll be discreet; trust that you have no ulterior motives behind your approach; trust that you’ll deal with them as people and not as stars; and basically trust that you feel like a peer who deserves to be engaged as such. The irony of celebrities is they often have very fragile egos.
111. Just remember that famous and powerful people are first and foremost people: They’re proud, sad, insecure, hopeful, and if you can help them achieve their goals, they’ll be appreciative.
112. It’s amazing how receptive people are when we meet them at events that speak to their interests.
113. Once you put yourself in position to connect with the famous and powerful, the key is not to feel as if you’re undeserving or an impostor.
114. Who you associate with is critical to who you become. The people you hang out with are an important factor in determining your future success or failure.
115. In the future, as personal branding continues to solidify itself as a mainstay in the economy, blogs will become as ubiquitous as resumes.