CalmConfidentMe is stress management technique program that help resolving the stress related issue in just 8 weeks. Giving an individual a fresh perspective towards different situations in life, this technique is proving to be a great gift for people.

1. Mind Mangement- Brain Training
Over the past 30 or so years, I have read a mass of educational, health, professional and self
development books. Back in the 90s, I read Covey’s highly effective habits and since then I have
lost count of all the texts, my last read was Robin Stuart-Kotzes “The Secrets of Successful
Behaviour”. All of these self-development texts have a commonality that is important to
discuss. They all in one way or another talked about or told us what we need to do to be
successful. Many of these behaviours we consider to be elite, the actions of our most
successful, the secret behaviors of our winners. The real problem is although I can read about
empathetic listening or stress management; it doesn’t necessarily make me a good listener or a
calm confident person. And by now you will most likely be nodding your head if you have been
down a similar path.
Reading about a topic doesn’t give you those skills; learning is so much more than just reading a
good idea. You may already know; it is engaging with the idea, imagining it for yourself, and
rehearsal from approximation to personal best. If like me you have tried to do this and still find
somehow those ‘secrets’ don’t stick you may now be wondering if those secrets don’t
themselves have a secret. Something special that is not written down and that you need to
know so those ideas can work.
My own research in this area proves the answer is yes. Real personal development happens on
many levels and requires an approach based on brain design. I realized something very
important about how brain design related to life stress and that therapy skills could be
matched to the design and functions of our brain.
I also came to realize, there are mental roadblocks that both prevent the behaviors of success
and instead produce the behaviors that hold us back. These roadblocks and the fixes that go
with them is the secret of the secrets. You simply can’t behave like a winner if mental
roadblocks are stressing you out.
Calm Confident Me, is based on thousands of pages of research and training with recognized
experts in their field. These include: Michael Yapko, Charles Figley, John Joseph and Roy
Sugarman among many. The books, journal articles and training although essential are not the
whole story behind the program.
Early on in my counseling I learnt the importance of asking clients what worked for them and
what did not. One of the key findings was the importance of simplicity. You won’t find
complicated language in this program or burdensome lists of information. You will however get
the advantage of more than fifteen years of refinement.

2. Complicated approaches don’t work when we are under pressure. We know that even as we
start to become stressed, our brain automatically starts to shut down higher order thinking
processes. An everyday example of this is having a run-in with someone and thinking
afterwards, well that’s what I could have said. We don’t think of the right reply until afterwards
when we have calmed down. While we think of our arousal mechanisms as like a switch they
are actually a sliding scale. The emotional volume controls of Calm Confident Me will help you
maintain your higher order thinking processes. The simplicity of the thinking fixes is an elegant
way to keep you in charge of your own behavior so you can use the elite behaviors of success.
Just a couple of years ago, I still had not put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I had my
therapy training, client feedback and a neuroscience approach to teaching the key lessons of
therapy. The question was- what exactly were the key lessons to teach and the answer came
from an unlikely source, the media. Newspapers, magazines, television and all forms of news
helped me understand how powerful and common the psychic roadblocks to success were.
Client feedback is never organized so it was difficult to make the intellectual leap to the simple
everyday reasons we hold ourselves back. The answers were in front of me in my morning
newspaper. The most common mental roadblocks are all around us.
Therapy training taught me to listen for rigid, non-factual interpretations of past, present or
future events. Clients told me the problems that came from things they must do that they failed
too; they beat themselves up by leaving out the good stuff about themselves and often
predicted disaster. Reading the newspaper I found the same pattern of thinking faults. We are
exposed to the absolutes, deception by omission and dreadful things sure to happen every
morning. These thinking faults are the mental roadblocks that stress us out.
It is a chicken and egg question, do newspaper reports teach us to make the same thinking
mistakes or is it because newspapers are written by people they have these errors. Either way
our culture teaches us the mental roadblocks. It’s not your fault that you do this, it is something
most of us absorb from the world around us.
You may have jumped ahead and thought to yourself, what makes them errors, haven’t people
always thought like that? They are thinking faults not just because they inhibit our ability to use
the elite behaviors of success but also because the consequences of thinking that way can
physically hurt us or others. Consider for example, rigid absolutes of what we must, should or
have to do, this might work for robots but they certainly do not work for humans. The
consequence of thinking someone or something must or should be doing is often high level
frustration or at worst dangerous and destructive acting out behaviors.
In real life, think what would happen if you were to ask some friends: what should the
government be doing or the coach of their favorite sports team or the church and you will most
likely get an unresolved emotional response. When this type of thinking fault pervades your
thoughts it becomes almost impossible to maintain an emotional state that allows anyone to

3. think, Win Win or any of the other proven winning behaviors. Over time it can also become
drinking problems, stomach ulcers, comfort eating, heart disease, and sleepless nights. The
mental roadblocks often manifest in stress management issues.
This form of beating the drum to sell newspapers is as old as the press and is often used by
politicians to create fear. Being able to identify when this is happening and put it into
perspective with simple mental tools, stops us from stressing out with possibilities we often
can’t change. Instead it allows us to concentrate on achieving our life goals.
Because of all of this, I hope you have also realized that you do not need to have a problem to
benefit. A preventative approach to teach anyone with regular life stress a common set of
brain strategies to improve their resilience and with that build confidence and increase their
everyday feelings of calm works for almost everybody. The knock on effect of being more in
charge of your emotions is the ability to make other important changes in your life.
If you are still not convinced, ask yourself where you would be if you stopped doubting yourself
and felt more calm and relaxed. How would your relationships and promotions at work look if
you could feel more confident, for example feeling more comfortable speaking to and leading
groups? Avoiding public speaking is so common we consider it normal. You don’t have to be like
that, you can learn to identify and fix the mental roadblocks to your success and you can start
right now!