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Ed Batista, The Art of Self-Coaching @StanfordBiz, Class 1: Beginnings

This is a condensed slide deck from the first class of my Spring 2016 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

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Ed Batista, The Art of Self-Coaching @StanfordBiz, Class 1: Beginnings

  1. 1. The art of Photo by Seth Anderson [link] self-coaching Ed Batista CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
  2. 2. Class 1 Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]
  3. 3. Beginnings Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]
  4. 4. Intro 20 mins An exercise 30 mins Coaching tools 15 mins Partnerships 30 mins Logistics 10 mins Today’s agenda Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
  5. 5. Who am I? Executive coach GSB Instructor & alumnus LeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy Feely Contributor @HarvardBiz (a book?)
  6. 6. Photo by U.S. Army [link] I will… Give you my best Welcome input End on time What else would be helpful for you? Working agreements
  7. 7. Working agreements I ask you to…
  8. 8. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link] Working agreements I ask you to… Start on time
  9. 9. Working I ask you to… Challenge yourself agreements Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
  10. 10. Working I ask you to… Respect confidentiality agreements Photo by Vox Efx [link]
  11. 11. Working I ask you to… Minimize distractions agreements Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]
  12. 12. Working I ask you to… Start on time Challenge yourself Respect confidentiality Minimize distractions Can we all commit to this? agreements
  13. 13. Why coaching matters to me… Started as a client Changed my view of leadership Impact on hundreds of students & clients
  14. 14. Why self-coaching does, too <1% 6 to 24 months Help people help themselves
  15. 15. So what IS coaching? Not consulting Not diagnostic Coachee owns the agenda Coachee makes the decisions
  16. 16. & self-coaching? Guiding our own growth & development Not solitary, but self-directed Partners are essential You’ll have 2 here
  17. 17. Positive Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link] psychology
  18. 18. Positive psychology Study of what makes life most worth living Focused on strengths & weaknesses Robust research to date
  19. 19. Sense of agency  We blame ourselves Risk of social comparison Avoid triumph & despair Get curious instead The downside
  20. 20. Joyful learning Photo by Harry [link]
  21. 21. Joyful learning Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Stress  performance up to a point Some stress increases learning Too much diminishes learning
  22. 22. Joyful learning Stress Learning
  23. 23. Joyful learning Hans Selye, Université de Montréal Eustress & distress
  24. 24. Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress
  25. 25. Joyful learning Judy Willis Teachers limit stress levels, students learn more
  26. 26. Joyful learning Stress Learning Eustress Distress Critical to avoid the tipping point
  27. 27. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy
  28. 28. CONTEXTLearning, Awareness, & Behavioral Change Experimentation, Risk-Taking, & Vulnerability Safety, Trust, Intimacy Initial Conditions
  29. 29. Safety, trust, intimacy Built through relationships A critical skill for self-coaching You’ll practice in here with classmates
  30. 30. Coaching team Photo by Yahoo [link]
  31. 31. Coaching tools Photo by zzpza [link]
  32. 32. Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize
  33. 33. Coaching tools Ask Edgar Schein, MIT Help doesn’t always help What’s a better way?
  34. 34. Modes of inquiry Photo by Garry Knight [link]
  35. 35. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry Open-ended Avoid presumptive questions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  36. 36. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry Focus & redirect Feelings, motives, actions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  37. 37. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry Introduce new ideas & hypotheses Challenge their narrative Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  38. 38. Modes of inquiry 1. Pure inquiry 2. Diagnostic inquiry 3. Confrontational inquiry We tend to move too quickly Critical to check our assumptions Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  39. 39. Ask better Photo by Alexander Drachman [link] questions
  40. 40. Ask better Get beyond Yes or No What…? & How…? > Why…? More reflection, less defensiveness questions
  41. 41. Ask better Avoid leading questions That’s advocacy, not coaching questions
  42. 42. Ask better One tip… Ask once & stop questions
  43. 43. Coaching tools Ask, Listen
  44. 44. Listening skills Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  45. 45. Listening skills Hearing ≠ listening How they feel > what you hear
  46. 46. Listening skills Focused attention > time Cultivate presence Eye contact No multi-tasking Eliminate distractions
  47. 47. Coaching tools Ask, Listen, Empathize Brené Brown, University of Houston Shame & empathy Edgar Schein, MIT Shame in helping relationships
  48. 48. Shame & empathy Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]
  49. 49. Shame & Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy Empathy = The antidote to shame empathy
  50. 50. Shame & Shame = Creates distance Empathy = Creates closeness empathy
  51. 51. Shame & Seeking help typically triggers shame (or embarrassment or vulnerability) empathy
  52. 52. Shame & But typical helping responses block empathy 1. “Look on the bright side” 2. “My problem’s worse!” 3. “Here’s some advice” empathy
  53. 53. Shame & Instead… 1. Avoid judgments 2. Sense & validate emotions 3. Convey understanding (≠ agreement) empathy
  54. 54. Traps for the coach Photo by Casey Fleser [link]
  55. 55. Traps for the coach Excessive pattern recognition Giving advice prematurely Overpowering resistance Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]
  56. 56. Photo by Don-Pixel [link] Partners, Part 1
  57. 57. Photo by Sabri Yildiz [link] Partners, Part 2
  58. 58. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link] Course logistics Everything is on Canvas Syllabus = Home page & PDF All readings = PDFs or websites Assignments = Left & bottom of home Need help? Email nonna@stanford.edu
  59. 59. Course logistics Contact me (also on Canvas) edbatista@stanford.edu Cell: 415-235-4272 Email/phone/text 8am-6pm
  60. 60. Grading Photo by O C Always [link]
  61. 61. Grading Attendance* 45% Weekly assignments 40% Final paper 15% Pass/fail allowed 3.45 mean GPA
  62. 62. Attendance Photo by dcjohn [link]
  63. 63. Attendance It matters (a LOT) Work in pairs & small groups Unexcused absence = drop one grade
  64. 64. Written work Photo by Anonymous Collective [link]
  65. 65. Written work 8 weekly assignments (1000 word limit) Final paper (3000 word limit) Deadline = Wed @ 6pm
  66. 66. Written work The content is up to you Responses to course materials & experiences No specific questions, prompts, requirements I encourage you to look ahead, not back
  67. 67. Written work 4 grading criteria Timeliness Depth of Personal Learning Conceptual Rigor Overall Quality
  68. 68. 1:1 Meetings Photo by Jenny Downing [link]
  69. 69. 1:1 Meetings Appointments: www.bitly.com/CoachingSessions Default = Meet in front of Bass & go for a walk Entirely optional, no impact on grade Wednesdays & Fridays only
  70. 70. For next time… Photo by Earls37a [link]
  71. 71. Change Photo by Earls37a [link]
  72. 72. Change Week 2 Assignment due Wednesday 6pm