1.
PROVEN STEPS TO
FIND THE LOVE OF
YOUR LIFE
A Love Factually guide by Dr. Duana Welch

2.
This Slideshare was adapted from my new book
LOVE FACTUALLY
Now on to the 10 Steps…
I’ve spent the last 15 years researching and writing this
book, going through volumes of scientific literature and
advising clients and the public on their love issues.
This book represents my best efforts to do something I
haven’t found elsewhere: give you verified tools you
need to find and keep the love of your life.

3.
ABANDON
THE 4 LOVE MYTHS
That hold most people back
1

4.
THERE ARE 4 COMMON
LOVE MYTHS
ARE THEY STALLING YOUR LOVE LIFE TOO?
“Finding and keeping love is only for the lucky and the few.”
“Before you can be happy with someone else, you have to
be happy by yourself.”
“Love only happens when you’re not looking.”
“I’m unlovable.”

5.
IDENTIFY
YOUR TRAITS FOR A MATE
2

6.
DOYOU
KNOW
WHETHER
YOUR
STANDARDS
ARETOO
LOW, TOO
HIGH,OR
JUSTRIGHT?
START BY MAKING A
DETAILED LIST THAT
DESCRIBES YOUR IDEAL
MATCH.
RE-ORDER YOUR LIST INTO
MUST-HAVES AND WANTS.
Side note: Two traits need to be on
everyone's List = Kindness & Respect
MAKE SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT TO LOOK FOR TO
AVOID ABUSERS!

7.
LOVE YOURSELF
INTO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
3

8.
HOW CAN YOU DEVELOP
THE BOUNDARIES THAT
LEAD TO LOVE?
MAKING YOUR GREAT LOVE STORY
HAPPEN REQUIRES TWO THINGS
~~You’ve got to find the right person~~
~~You have to be the right person. And that starts with SELF-LOVE~~

9.
UNDERSTAND
THE MATING MIND
4

10.
HOWCANYOU
LEVERAGEWHAT
SCIENTISTSKNOW
ABOUTMEN’S
ANDWOMEN’S
DIFFERENT
MATING
PSYCHOLOGIESTO
WINATLOVE?
Our mating minds
have evolved so
that:
MEN gain value
by showing status,
strength, and
staying power
and...
WOMEN improve
their odds by
displaying fertility
and fidelity.

11.
MAKE YOURSELF
HARD-TO-GET
5

12.
HOW
CANYOU
LEARNTO
TIPOUT
THE
PLAYERS
ANDTIP
INTHE
STAYERS?
FOR
WOMEN
TODAY,
FINDING
LOVE
REQUIRESA
SIGNAL
FROM
CAVEMAN
DAYS
BEING
HARDTO
GETTELLS
HIMTHAT
YOU
MIGHTBE
MRS.
RIGHT.

13.
SEEK
WHERE YOU WILL FIND
6

14.
WHATARE4WAYSYOUCANFIND
MORE -ANDBETTER-DATES?
Use the Friends and Family Plan to seek a date through
your network.
Leverage the Law of Proximity: Being geographically close
to someone is a powerful predictor of attraction.
Find your Future in your Past: Could it be you already met
The One?
Fish with a Net - The Internet: Cast multiple lines (use
multiple sites!) and have a unique Hook.
1
2
3
4

15.
LEARN HOW NOT
TO SUCK AT DATING
7

16.
BE BRIEF, FUN,
THOUGHTFUL,
CURIOUS, AND
POSITIVE
HOW CAN YOU MAKE SURE THE ONES YOU
WANT, WANT YOU TOO? THE ART & SCIENCE OF
A GOOD DATE, IN JUST 7 WORDS:

17.
LEAVEWRONGPARTNERS SO
YOUCANFINDTHERIGHTONE
FLUNK WRONG RELATIONSHIPS TO ACE
THE ONE
8

18.
WHAT ARE 4 WAYS TO TELL YOU’RE WITH MR.
OR MS. ALMOST-BUT-NOT-QUITE-RIGHT?
1. They lack a Must-Have (see Step 2)
2. Pain is greater than Pleasure
3. There's not enough love in the relationship
4. Your intuition says No
AND WHAT’S THE ONE PHRASE THAT WILL
LET YOU BREAK UP MUCH MORE EASILY?

19.
GET TO
I DO
9

20.
WHY ARE MEN USUALLY MORE
RELUCTANT TO COMMIT - AND
WHAT CAN WOMEN DO ABOUT IT?
WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY’VE
GOT IT, AND MEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT WHEN
IT’S GONE
WOMEN: YOU CANNOT FORCE A MAN INTO
COMMITTING, BUT YOU CAN REFUSE TO MOVE IN,
OR LEAVE AND LET HIM FIGURE IT OUT.

21.
PERSIST, BEHOPEFUL, BEBRAVE
10

22.
Finding Love is like batting averages:
You don’t have to be anywhere near perfect to be great.
HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP ON
PERFECTION WITHOUT GIVING UP
ON FINDING LOVE?
Here’s how to get over past hurts, put
it all together, and…
go find the one for you!

23.
Finally we have a
research-based
guide for how to
sensibly select a
partner
Dr. John Gottman,
author of The Seven Principles for
Making Marriage Work