The document discusses assertiveness and how to communicate effectively by saying no when you want to say no. It defines assertiveness as expressing one's thoughts and feelings in a way that respects others' rights and finds win-win solutions. It contrasts assertive communication with aggressive, passive, and confused styles. It provides examples to test the reader's ability to identify different communication styles and gives tips for praising and criticizing others constructively.

1. ASSERTIVENESS “ DON’T SAY YES WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY NO” -Herbert Fensterhein http://powerpointpresentationon.blogspot.com

4. OK CORRAL: LIFE POSITIONS VS ATTITUDE I'M NOT OK YOU'RE OK "I wish I could do that as well as you do“ Passive I'M OK YOU'RE OK "Hey, we're making good progress now" Assertive I'M NOT OK YOU'RE NOT OK "Oh this is terrible – we'll never make it“ Confused I'M OK YOU'RE NOT OK "You're not doing that right – let me show you" Aggressive

5. “ I’m OK, you’re OK”: people are in the ‘get on with’ position “ I’m OK, you’re not OK” : people are in the ‘get rid of’ position “ I’m not OK, you’re OK”: people are in the ‘get away position’ “ I’m not OK, you’re not OK” : people are in the ‘get nowhere’ position All four positions have bearing on individual thinking and subsequent verbal manifestations (communication)

8. AGGRESSION

13. PASSIVITY

16. CONFUSED

17. ASSERTIVENESS: WHAT IS IT? Assertiveness is the ability to express ones thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states your needs and keeps the line of communication open with the other. - Ryan and Travis

18. ASSERTIVENESS That Code of conduct which enables an individual to think in a positive manner about oneself & the co-participants, to be open to ideas and suggestions and willing to accept change if the need so arises. - Asha Kaul Professor IIM - A

21. ASSERTIVENESS

27. EGO STATES OR PERSONALITY TYPES Berne defined three basic personalities or Ego States – Each with characteristic attitudes, feelings, behaviours and language. Two of the states subdivide into two further facets.

28. THE EGO STATES Compliant and polite Rebellious and manipulative ADAPTED CHILD Fun loving and energetic Creative and spontaneous FREE (NATURAL) CHILD CHILD Concerned with data and fact Considers options and estimates probabilities Makes unemotional decisions Plans and makes things happen ADULT Advises and guides Protects and nurtures NURTURING PARENT Make rules and sets limits Disciplines, judges and criticizes CRITICAL PARENT PARENT

29. EGO STATES VS LIFE POSITIONS STRIKING THE BALANCE

30. HOW ASSERTIVE AM I? For each situation below, mark each response as either passive, aggressive, assertive or confused. Situation 1: Your friend has just complimented you on how well dressed you are and how nice you look. You feel pleased, and you say:

34. Situation 3: You are returning a faulty item to the department store. You bought a shirt and when you got it home, you found it to have a flaw in it. You don’t want the item as it is. The clerk has just said, “It’s a sale merchandise, and besides no one will ever notice it.” You say:

37. Situation 4: You and your partner are dinning out at a moderately expensive restaurant. You have ordered a medium Tandoori Chicken. When the Tandoori is served, it is rather over done. You :