1. Vice’s Travel Agency (private tour)
Itinerary
• Destination: City of Woe
• Departure time: April 3, 2015 - 12:00
a.m.
• Arrival time: April 3, 2015 – 3:00 a.m.
Has your soul ever felt as though it has
wondered off the straight path? Join us in
our pilgrimage sponsored by Vice’s Travel
Agency and learn how to take back your
grace!

2. Through me you go to the grief wracked city;
Through me you go to everlasting pain; Through
me you go a pass among lost souls. Justice
inspired my exalted Creator: I am a creature of
the Holiest Power, of Wisdom in the Highest and
of Primal Love. Nothing till I was made was made,
only eternal beings. And I endure eternally.
Abandon all hope — Ye Who
Enter Here

3. Outside the City of Woe, you
find those that took no side
on great moral issues. These
are the “Neutrals”. Their
bodies are ripped apart by
hosts of demons. Limbs of
the neutrals are used for
sport by the demons
signifying their inability to
“choose a team” in life
John Bel
Edwards
George
Clooney

4. King Bhumibol Adulyadej of
Thailand
Dalai Lama
Present in this circle are those virtuous souls
that, lacking the cleansing waters of Baptism,
were not permitted entrance into Paradise,
but remained pure enough to be preserved
from eternal suffering. The pain of this circle
is a tolerable one: a limited knowledge of
Truth.

5. Hugh Hefner
Charlie Sheen
,
Tiger Woods
Lust is a sin most
commonly associated
with the desire to be
with another person,
sexually. In the circle
of lust these sinners
are punished by
being bound by
chains and having
what they desire just
out of their reach.

6. Paula Deen Rachael Ray
Gluttons spend their lives indulging too much. These sinners indulge in too
much food. In this circle they are punished with starvation for long periods
of time, fed a small portion, and the cycle is endlessly repreated.

7. Donald Trump
Punishment: money pours
from every orifice of the
bodies of these sinners.

8. Kevin Gates is a known
rapper in the Hip Hop
industry. At one of his
concerts he became so
angry at a fan he kicked
her in the face!
He is the definition of a
wrathful sinner for not
controlling his anger in
public places, or towards
others!

9. Prominent leaders of the “church of feel-good”
and those consecrated to the “gospel of
wealth” call this circle home. God is the
fullness of all truth. These are the souls that
twisted objective and paramount truths
revealed to humanity by our Lord. These souls
must be crushed under the weight of the same
Sacred Scripture they distorted for their own
selfish agendas. Giant open Bible’s bludgeon
them for all eternity.

10. People who commit violence
against their neighbors seem to have no
soul or heart taking into account they
would harm innocent people.
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
(Boston Marathon Bomber)
Punishment: Even after the passing of time, these
poor souls will tread the same path through this
circle of hell. The path just so happens to be laden
with broken glass. They are urged on by demons
bearing the faces of those that they committed
sin against.

11. These sinners main goal was
self-destruction.
Punishment:
Spending an eternity gnawing
at ones own flesh
Margaret White
(Mother in Stephen King’s “Carrie”)

12. Violence: Against God
Osama Bin Laden
Punishment: Hell is parted for this circle to see a
glimpse of the beatific vision whilst being
tormented by demons. They will forever be
reminded of what they lost through their sin
These sinners are believed to commit
acts against God or Christian ideals.
The souls captive here are those that blasphemed.
What can be more blasphemous than disbelief?

14. Dennis
Hof & Ron
Jeremy
“Christian Grey” Lil Wayne
The desire to seduce is
synonymous with the
desire to control. These
unfortunately familiar
souls spend an eternity
on the same beds that
they enjoyed in life, but
with one macabre twist:
the beds are made of
razors. Their desire to
seduce and control led
to their ultimate eternal
subjugation to pain

15. Monica Lewinsky
Grima
Wormtoungue
Hubris: The cause of the
fall of man. The effects of
flattery build up in others
an ego that takes the
place of God. In this
circle, sinner’s tongues
are cut off and their
mouths begin to fill with
maggots and bugs.

16. Peter Popoff
Franz-Peter
Tebartz-van Elst
(The Bishop of Bling)
Whether you are selling
“miracle spring water” or
the sacramental of Holy
Water, simony is a very
apparent sin. Since simony
is more common among
clerics, it is fitting that their
punishment is more terrible
than lay sinners. These
pitiful souls are eaten alive
by various wild animals, day
after day and the wounds
are consistently defecated
on. This desecration of their
body symbolizes the
desecration of the holy
offices, or relics by them,
during their lifetimes.

17. Theresa
Caputo
Harry
Potter
Merlin
Sylvia
Browne
These are the souls that abandoned
objective truth for the ability to control
other-worldly powers. Salem was a
small foreshadowing to these
unfortunate beings of their eternal
suffering. In this circle, not only are
these souls on fire, but they are also
locked into an iron maiden.

18. Vance
McAllister
David Vitter
Mary Landrieu
Corrupt politicians are not an uncommon
sight. Louisiana seems to be a shrine to that
statement. Souls found in this circle are very
recognizable as political leaders of our state
that got wrapped up in some scandal be it
sexual, or financial. These souls are trampled
by animals and, more notably, the particular
party symbol of their party (i.e. elephants and
donkeys).

19. Jimmy Swaggart
Claude Frollo
Bill Clinton
Hypocrites are the bane of truth. They masquerade about as
angels of light, but in reality they are foes of the light –
demons in disguise. The punishment of these happens to fit
the crime. Souls in this circle are repetitively branded over
their entire bodies to represent the now-visible sins that that
they tried to hide in life.

20. Lindsay Lohan
Aladdin
Frank Abagnale
(Catch Me if You Can)

21. Cecile Richards Brian Williams
Hilary Clinton
If God is the source of all truth, it is fitting
that those who deceive are in the lower parts
of hell, almost as far as you can get from
Him. A common symbol of deception is the
wearing of a mask. Here the faces of sinners
are peeled off eternally to show to the
residents of Malebolge what “lies” beneath.

22. Peter H. GilmoreFidel Castro Al Sharpton
Discord is like filth. If you don’t watch out, it will
spread faster than an epidemic. These souls
manifest different aspects of discord. They
reside in under mounds of garbage.

23. Bernie Madoff
Willie Nelson
This is the lowest bolgia in Molebolge.
Inhabitants here are the epitome of fraud.
These are tax evaders and those that
cheated others. Souls are hurled off a cliff
by demons only to be picked up, brought
back up the mountain, and cast back down.

24. (Circle IX)
Treachery

25. O.J. Simpson
The treacherous in this
area are stabbed for all
eternity by the loved
ones that they betrayed
in life.Mel Gibson

26. To betray ones own country
is a great act of fraud. We
pay homage to the ideas of
Dante by keeping this
towards the lowest spot in
hell. Here souls are strangled
by the flags of the nation in
which they betrayed.
Kim Jong Un
Timothy
McVeigh

27. Anna Nichole Smith used her
husband as a benefactor , and took
his money as soon as he died. She
obviously didn’t love her
husband/benefactor and her
treacherous actions have caused
her to drop to one of the lowest
circles in hell. Her punishment,
along with many, is to be
continuously drowned for all
eternity.
Anna Nichole Smith