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Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
1.) Dating is in direct contradiction to
the Scriptures, that admonish us to
"flee youthful lusts" and to "flee
fornication." (Eph 4:22; 2 Tim 2:22;
1Cor 6:18)
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
2.) Dating ignores the
biological facts of human
sexuality.
At the end of the marriage ceremony the preacher
says, “You may now kiss the bride!” This statement
seems to assume that the groom has never kissed
the woman before that day.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
3.) Dating tends to abuse and
misuse what doesn’t belong to
you.
The baggage remaining from painful
dating must be dealt with by the person
who takes your leftovers as their wife or
husband.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
4.) Dating is the starting place
for destroying relationships
There is no commitment by either party
to continue beyond the first date.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
5.) Dating becomes a preparation for
handling divorce, not a preparation
for building a permanent marriage.
Dating gets one used to the idea of rejecting
and being rejected in the search for the perfect
relationship.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
6.) Dating builds insecurity
into relationships.
Imagine a marriage without scars of
rejection to overcome because you have
been hurt earlier by partners who were
unfaithful.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
7.) Dating prevents the
building of friendships
When you date there is the
selectiveness of romantic, sexual
relationships that prevent the building of
friendships.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

So what is the
alternative to
dating?
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

The alternative to
dating is NOT
courtship!
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
• Courtship is not “going out in groups”
or “double-dating.”
• Courting is not what “Christian”
teenagers do instead of dating.
• Courting is what a man and woman
do in preparation for marriage.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

The Father’s
Authority &
Responsibility
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The problem with our culture is not
merely sexual immorality, it is also
sexual irresponsibility. The Bible
teaches there is to be no escape from
responsibility. The teenage years were
to be years of preparation for
responsibility, not for irresponsibility.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
• It is not casual dating; it is a relationship
with a view to marriage.
• It has a lot to do with manners; there is
an appropriate way to behave.
• It also has to do civility, i.e., with law.
• It involved following appropriate
procedures.
• It involves a "court".
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

Preparing a
Case for Your
Date in Court
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
Webster’s Dictionary speaks of a
synonym for courting - being a
suitor.
A man is filing his suit; he is
declaring the justice of his claim
for the hand of a woman.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

Passing
Judgment on
the Case in
Court
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The Bible is clear that the
daughter’s father is to be heavily
involved in this matter.
It is the role of a father to give
away what is his own, even as
God the Father brought Eve to
Adam.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
They will be perpetually influenced
by their in-laws, aunts, and uncles.
These relatives will be giving the
new family suggestions,
recommendations, and advice.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
When you spend considerable
time in the company of your
intended’s family you will learn
many things about that person.
Practically speaking, one can’t
“front” in the presence of their kid
brother or sister.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The father and the son worked along
side each other in the family
business. The son served as an
apprentice and would be his father’s
“disciple.” Scripture teaches that a
son is to work cooperatively under his
father's leadership in the courting of a
spouse.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
Men are the initiators. If he is
really interested in you he will
pursue you. Jesus pursued His
bride, the church. He left the
glory of heaven and went
through ridicule and torture—
even death—as proof that He
loved us.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
There will be a tendency to
rush ahead of the Lord to
find a mate. Don’t do it!!
Wait for God’s choice.
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
“I am going to have to
encourage my kids go
through something like
that?”
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
“Courtship is God’s ideal
way to begin a relationship
but don’t dismiss it as
unattainable.”
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
“A foundation needs to be
laid first. The main
foundation is that of faith in
Jesus Christ.”
Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage

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Relationships 101 Biblical Courtship and Marriage

  • 2. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 1.) Dating is in direct contradiction to the Scriptures, that admonish us to "flee youthful lusts" and to "flee fornication." (Eph 4:22; 2 Tim 2:22; 1Cor 6:18)
  • 3. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 2.) Dating ignores the biological facts of human sexuality. At the end of the marriage ceremony the preacher says, “You may now kiss the bride!” This statement seems to assume that the groom has never kissed the woman before that day.
  • 4. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 3.) Dating tends to abuse and misuse what doesn’t belong to you. The baggage remaining from painful dating must be dealt with by the person who takes your leftovers as their wife or husband.
  • 5. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 4.) Dating is the starting place for destroying relationships There is no commitment by either party to continue beyond the first date.
  • 6. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 5.) Dating becomes a preparation for handling divorce, not a preparation for building a permanent marriage. Dating gets one used to the idea of rejecting and being rejected in the search for the perfect relationship.
  • 7. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 6.) Dating builds insecurity into relationships. Imagine a marriage without scars of rejection to overcome because you have been hurt earlier by partners who were unfaithful.
  • 8. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage 7.) Dating prevents the building of friendships When you date there is the selectiveness of romantic, sexual relationships that prevent the building of friendships.
  • 9. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage So what is the alternative to dating?
  • 10. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage The alternative to dating is NOT courtship!
  • 11. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage • Courtship is not “going out in groups” or “double-dating.” • Courting is not what “Christian” teenagers do instead of dating. • Courting is what a man and woman do in preparation for marriage.
  • 12. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage The Father’s Authority & Responsibility
  • 13. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage The problem with our culture is not merely sexual immorality, it is also sexual irresponsibility. The Bible teaches there is to be no escape from responsibility. The teenage years were to be years of preparation for responsibility, not for irresponsibility.
  • 14. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage • It is not casual dating; it is a relationship with a view to marriage. • It has a lot to do with manners; there is an appropriate way to behave. • It also has to do civility, i.e., with law. • It involved following appropriate procedures. • It involves a "court".
  • 15. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage Preparing a Case for Your Date in Court
  • 16. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage Webster’s Dictionary speaks of a synonym for courting - being a suitor. A man is filing his suit; he is declaring the justice of his claim for the hand of a woman.
  • 17. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage Passing Judgment on the Case in Court
  • 18. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage The Bible is clear that the daughter’s father is to be heavily involved in this matter. It is the role of a father to give away what is his own, even as God the Father brought Eve to Adam.
  • 19. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage They will be perpetually influenced by their in-laws, aunts, and uncles. These relatives will be giving the new family suggestions, recommendations, and advice.
  • 20. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage When you spend considerable time in the company of your intended’s family you will learn many things about that person. Practically speaking, one can’t “front” in the presence of their kid brother or sister.
  • 21. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage The father and the son worked along side each other in the family business. The son served as an apprentice and would be his father’s “disciple.” Scripture teaches that a son is to work cooperatively under his father's leadership in the courting of a spouse.
  • 22. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage Men are the initiators. If he is really interested in you he will pursue you. Jesus pursued His bride, the church. He left the glory of heaven and went through ridicule and torture— even death—as proof that He loved us.
  • 23. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage There will be a tendency to rush ahead of the Lord to find a mate. Don’t do it!! Wait for God’s choice.
  • 24. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage “I am going to have to encourage my kids go through something like that?”
  • 25. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage “Courtship is God’s ideal way to begin a relationship but don’t dismiss it as unattainable.”
  • 26. Relationships 101 Courtship and Marriage “A foundation needs to be laid first. The main foundation is that of faith in Jesus Christ.”