1. Working with a CFB, an apology
in advance

2. So I’ve got this rare disease…

3. Some of you may recall that I used to look like
this:

4. And even more recently, this:

5. But now I look a lot more like this:

6. The un-official description of Sarcoidosis is:
When your immune system goes “bat shit
insane” and attacks healthy tissue for no reason.
Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.

7. Before I got it, I’d only ever heard of it on House

8. It is an auto-immune disease that affects my
joints, bones, lungs, brain, kidneys and heart
and skin. So far.
I don’t think it’s finished yet.

9. This is why I sweat and breathe like a
wounded, asthmatic hippopotamus and hobble
around like a 90 year old woman.
Well, maybe not that old woman.

10. Probably more like this old woman:

11. I’m doing much better now than I was. September – December 2011 was
probably the worst for me, I was in the hospital, the right side of my face was
paralyzed and, as some of you may remember, my eyes looked a lot like this:
I frightened people on the tube.

12. It gets worse
There is no cure for Sarcoidosis, but there are
treatments for it.
And these treatments suck. For you guys.
Sorry.

13. I’m on a lot of similar medications that are given to cancer patients, and have
to stab myself with a needle every Wednesday, which explains why on
Wednesdays I typically look like this:
Also, getting all those needles and meds through airports in China with Dai
Kai was very entertaining. He had to stab me with one. Neither of us were
very happy about that.

14. However, the main medication that I’m on is
steroids. A lot of steroids.

15. No, not that kind

16. These drugs have 3 main side affects, which you
may have noticed.

17. 1. Crazy
The medication affects my brain and makes me easily
confused, forgetful and I struggle to focus and pay attention to
things.

18. 2. Fat
A particularly horrible side affect is called Cushingoid Syndrome.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve gotten bigger. Much, much
bigger.

19. This is caused by tumours forming on my face, neck, back and
the rest of my body. They will go away as I am able to stop taking
these medications, but until then, I’m on my way to looking like
this:
And I’m really not happy about it.

20. 3. Crazy

21. Sorry about that, especially the crazy part

22. So I know that it seems that I’m always away from the
office, always in the hospital or somewhere equally
bizarre and not here when you need me, and then
when you do need me, I’m not as helpful as I used to
be. But I wanted you to understand why, and that it’s
not going to be like this forever.
The fact is, you now officially work with a CFB
(Crazy Fat Bitch)

23. But it could be worse…

24. You could work here instead!