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Everlasting Love
Collier deb 24_for i am in awe!
Everlasting Love



   Deborah H. Collier
Copyright © 2010 by Deborah H. Collier.

Illustrated by Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen

Library of Congress Control Number:         2010909482
ISBN:            Hardcover                  978-1-4535-2900-3
                 Softcover                  978-1-4535-2899-0
                 Ebook                      978-1-4535-2901-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing
from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.




To order additional copies of this book, contact:
Xlibris Corporation
1-888-795-4274
www.Xlibris.com
Orders@Xlibris.com
42112
Contents
1. I Finally Found You .........................................................................15
2. I Needed You ..................................................................................17
3. The One Constant ..........................................................................19
4. I Am In Awe! ...................................................................................23
5. A Shining Star .................................................................................25
6. I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again ...................................................29
7. Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways..........................................33
8. You Are Out There Somewhere .......................................................37
9. A Testament To Our Love ...............................................................41
10. The Love We Have ..........................................................................43
11. You Found Another Attraction/Distraction .....................................47
12. Passion From The Soul ....................................................................51
13. The Path Of Our Lives....................................................................53
14. How Can I Ever Trust Again? ..........................................................57
15. To A Very Good Mother .................................................................61
16. From A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents ....................................63
17. Perceptions ......................................................................................65
18. The Love Of A Father And Son .......................................................69
19. The Right One ................................................................................73
20. The End Of Our Journey ................................................................77
Collier deb 24_for i am in awe!
21. The Truth Did Set You Free ............................................................79
22. A Love Like A Dream ......................................................................81
23. You Loved Me .................................................................................83
24. When The Sea Is Calm....................................................................85
25. The Unrelinquished Sadness ...........................................................87
26. The Right Time...............................................................................89
27. I Saw You In A Vision .....................................................................93
28. You Looked Up To Me ....................................................................97
29. The World Traveler .........................................................................99
30. A New Start ..................................................................................101
31. Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper .....................................................105
32. The Nightmare .............................................................................107
33. I Felt Your Pain .............................................................................109
34. When Did Things Begin To Change? ............................................113
35. Putting The Pieces Back Together ..................................................117
36. The Day Arrived ...........................................................................121
37. Where Is It Written? ......................................................................125
38. Expressing My Love For You .........................................................129
39. A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway) ..........131
40. Stay As Free As You Are .................................................................135




* Denotes actual year the poem was written by the author
** Note: The author is very aware of the many punctuation marks (mainly commas) missing
from the poems. This was done purposefully, and the ones left in were to make it easier for
the reader to understand the contextual nature of a stanza or line, and the underlines of
course to make a point more emphatically. I felt that by leaving out the extra punctuation it
would allow the reader to be less interrupted, and the poem to flow as fluently as possible.
Collier deb 24_for i am in awe!
Dedication
Dedicated to my wonderful parents, who loved me unconditionally, and
showed me by example how to be a person with good values and a person
of worth. My incredibly supportive and loving husband, Bruce, who has
shown me what being in love really means. My five children, Shane, Seth,
Jeremy, Cody and Bethany who have given me the opportunity to know
the real meaning of unconditional love. And to my beautiful cousin, friend
and confidant, Jean, whom I appreciate so much. To them I want to express
my love and gratitude, and feel blessed to have had them in my life to be an
inspiration for this book.

A special thank you to my illustrator, Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen, and his
wife Elie, an exceptional couple who made my job much easier.
Collier deb 24_for i am in awe!
Preface
I wrote this book trying to address many of the types of love we encounter
in life. If you were to ask a hundred people what they feel true love is, they
would probably have a lot of the same thoughts, but I believe there would not
be one answer that was the same. We all see love for others in different ways,
but the one theme that does hold true, is that love is to feel an emptiness
in your heart when that person is not with you and you want to be able to
be with that other person more than with others. Many of my poems are
of love lost, and I wrote these because this is the reality of love for another.
We are never guaranteed “a rose garden” in any relationship, but those that
endure the test of time means that either both parties are working very hard
to make things work out or that they are “soul mates” to begin with. If they
are “soul mates”, this may give them the good fortune and possibility of not
having to deal with some of the same stresses that many other marriages and
partnerships could have. Some of my poems are of everlasting love. Love
that we feel even when we have lost a loved one through illness or tragedy,
and we continue to love them after death. Also, when we have lost a partner
because things did not work out between the two people involved. I feel that
anyone who finds what they feel is “true love”, is so very fortunate as I said
in one poem because some of us never ever find it. These poems were not
written from life experience as much as they were on what I feel others have
had to go through in relationships. I want to touch other people’s hearts and
have them feel that they are not alone, and if a poem “speaks” to them, I
have accomplished my purpose by writing this book. Many people may find
solace in one or more of these poems, if they are still in love with someone
who has passed over, or who is inaccessible to them at this point in time.

The love we have for our children, of course is different, and I wanted to
include this in order to address mothers and fathers, young and old. This
type of love should be unconditional and last all our lives as their parents.
Some parents feel that when their children turn a certain age, and they are
no longer responsible for them by law, that their caring for them as they have
in the past stops there. I feel that your children are your responsibility


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all your life. You should be there for them whenever they need you, and
help and support them the best that you can no matter how old they are.
When they marry you should be a presence, but not one that interferes
with their marriage. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to them, but to
make decisions for their marriage is up to them and their partner.

I hope that I have been able to be as inclusive as possible with the types of
love that we may encounter in our everyday lives, and I hope that I have
touched the hearts of my readers in a positive way, even if a poem brings
tears to their eyes. I feel we have to have experienced pain and sorrow in
order to be able to know the joy that comes from so many kinds of love.

I send my love out to my readers, and as I said above, I hope I have also
touched your hearts.




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      14
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I Finally Found You
  I’ve been waiting all my life
  To find someone just like you
  To fill my days and nights with love
  To find a love so true

  I’m sitting by my window
  Just waiting your return
  And knowing all the time I wait
  Like me, your heart does yearn

  We’ve built a solid foundation
  One that just can’t be thrown aside
  And one that will withstand
  All the things love must abide

  I’m so happy that you love me
  And that I can return this same love to you
  And to find each other at this time
  Is something we both are so overdue

  We just happen to be two of the fortunate ones
  Who found true love but not too late
  And to know true love is so very wonderful
  Especially now that we no longer have to wait

  I feel we will be together
  Until we are made to part
  And that in itself is a tribute
  To how two can share one heart.



       Deborah H. Collier* 2010


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                       I Needed You
I needed you and since I did, I found that peace had almost entirely left me
The days for me were so long and slow, and because of this, out of this rut,
I could not escape

The things we knew, our hopes our plans, were ours and ours alone
And since you weren’t in my world now, the joy in my life was not to be found

You finally came to me in a dream, a dream I had waited for, for so very long
And when you did, a joy I’d forgotten how to feel was slowly becoming so
very strong

I felt I couldn’t catch my breath, for the words you spoke went right to my soul
As you spoke it seemed so real, and for this reason I began to feel very cold

You told me that I must not wait for you, to come back any longer
This I had never been able to grasp before but now I was much stronger

You then said to me that to be with you now, was not the answer for us
You said I must let go, and promise you that I must let nature take its course

This dream had helped me to no longer fear to start feeling joy in my life
To finding relief by feeling more peace, even though you were no longer
by my side

I loved you so, your demise had hurt so very, very much—our love had
been so pure
This dream I think had three messages—to help me to let go and to go on, and
to encourage me to also try to help others to find their own closure.



                 Deborah H. Collier written in 1966 revised 2010



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The One Constant
You are the one who brightens my day
The one constant in my life
The one who fulfills my wants and needs
The one who lessens my everyday strife

I don’t know how ever I found you
In this vast and ever-changing world
I was told it was divine intervention
And together I want us to be as we grow old

How many things had to happen
To bring us to this place
Where we can be together
In this world’s so very fast pace

We are at times somewhat different
But more often so very much alike
I feel that makes us balanced
With our likes and sometimes dislikes

It’s amazing to me that I find,
So little about you that I would change
And that you know how I feel
Without even any verbal or physical exchange




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Your modesty is such
That most would never know
The depth and profoundness of your being
Which shines like a beacon in a heavy snow

I feel that I shall never find
One as loving and kind as you
To fill my days with peace and joy
In whatever we decide to do.



     Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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I Am In Awe!
I am in awe, when you hold me,
Mold me, and enfold me,
And I melt into your arms.

I am in awe, when you allow me,
Wow me, and endow me with so
Many of your natural gifts.

I am in awe, when you astound me,
Surround me,
And send sounds to me
From the whispers of your mind.

I am in awe, when you educate me,
Evaluate me,
And elate me with your love.

I am in awe, when you caress me,
Address me, and impress me
With the kindness that you
So generously give.

I hope that we shall never have to say adieu,
Because my loving partner . . . .

I AM SO IN AWE OF YOU!



    Deborah H. Collier * 2005




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A Shining Star
 My life was totally empty
 When you left me on that day
 For I could make no sense
 Of the thing that took you away

 I’ve searched my soul for reasons
 That no sense can ever impart
 For I know to try to look for sense
 Would never heal this broken heart

 I’ve wanted to be near you
 Each and every day as I arise
 But I know that it was not your fault
 That we said our last good-byes

 My love will always be with you
 No matter where you are
 I ask only that you know this
 That you were and are my shining star

 For you were the one I turned to
 The one who always knew
 How to make a day so wonderful
 Just by being YOU




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                      I now turn to those who stayed
                      And to God to ease this pain
                      But as we both know so well
                      This heartache will remain

                      Someday it may be better
                      I have memories that are gold
                      But what I really want the most
                      Is YOU right here to hold!



                          Deborah H. Collier * 2001
     (Originally written as a dedication to 911 victims & their families
               and also read at my Father’s funeral Dec. 2001
Also, with great sympathy to those who suffered through the devastation of
hurricane Katrina, and to those heroes who helped other people during this
                        incredible fight for survival.)




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I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again
I found that to shut yourself completely down
To walk through life like a piece of machinery made of steel
Eventually while it is catching up with you
You may find to feel love again helps you to heal

As they say we must know pain to know real joy
To have joy may take some people a great deal of effort for sure
And as much as we want to remain anonymous
Someone may come along that we cannot ignore

This someone was you, I started letting down my guard
Bit by bit the walls I had built were crumbling and beginning to fall
I felt this was dangerous because I was scared
As I started feeling old feelings—one after another piece fell from the wall

And you didn’t let up—you stayed with me
You began to start touching heartstrings I had for so long protected
As much as I tried to discourage you—you just weren’t inclined to give up
You just kept staying with me no matter how much I made you feel rejected

How is it that after so many years of trying to hold onto my feelings
You came into my life and turned it up side down
Because of your patience and persistence and absolute caring
I had begun to feel again—my past pains I knew I could now overcome

When had I started to become so cynical, and how long had I been this way?
So uptight when these feelings are what make us all just human
It seemed that no matter how hard I tried
I knew that by running away from everything was just a pitiful reason




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Most people need others to turn to when things are going wrong
We need others to let us know we have a unique purpose
When all I could do was shut all the doors to my heart
I began to realize that what hurt me, could have been much worse

At times no matter how badly we’ve been hurt and try to hide from the world
There is usually someone who comes into our lives and in just a short time
Helps us break away a truckload of walls we’ve been so carefully building
And then we can begin to regain faith in love, and everything begins to shine

I set myself up for heartache, so very many times, and felt that it was all
my fault
I know now that it wasn’t, as there are no guarantees, since real life is not
that way at all
Thank you so much for not giving up on me, for this is what has helped
me to see
That opening your heart to others is the thing to do and in love again I
could fall.




                          Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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      Hurt And Sadness
     Can Work Two Ways
            I walked into the park one day
    And saw a young girl crying on a bench nearby
    I asked her if she would like someone to talk to
       And she answered yes while she still cried

                  She continued to cry
              The tears flowed as she spoke
      I told her she could tell me what was wrong
      Because my trust she certainly could invoke

    She explained that when she and her boyfriend
            Were at home night before last
            That the evening was the same
           As it always had been in the past

            She said when they awakened
  He was totally aloof, and said he didn’t want to talk
          And this was completely unlike him
 Because from casual conversation he had never balked

      She told me he was the most beautiful man
 She had ever known, and their love had been sublime
     And I knew these words were from her heart
Because out of the tears her face suddenly began to shine

         She told me that she loved him more
          Than anyone could ever understand
         And they had talked so many times of
           A life together they had planned



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                  The morning that she spoke of,
              Had changed her whole world of dreams
       For he confessed he thought he’d never really loved her
                And they could no longer be a team

          My heart plummeted for her as she told me this
    For I had had a similar experience, a relationship that ceased
        I told her she should grieve as long as she needed to
And time would eventually work in her favor to give her needed peace

                 It’s difficult to console someone
              Who has just had such a terrible shock
        But I’ve found through the hurt I’ve encountered
  As much as you would like to, you can never turn back the clock

                  Some people go through tragedies
        That make them so bitter, they never seem to mend
   But there are others who have turned their hurt into strength
 And this has helped them to become stronger and better in the end.




                       Deborah H. Collier * 2007




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You Are Out There Somewhere
     Come to me
     In our every changing destinies
     I know we must be
     Side by side

     I feel the warmth of your spirit within me
     And know we will be so complete when
     We meet

     You’re out there just waiting
     As I am right here
     I just hope that you can hear me

     I want only you
     Even though we’ve never met
     I know that in time
     It seems destined that we will

     But it’s difficult being
     So close and yet so far
     Because I know you are close

     Let me know where you are
     Send some sign to my door
     Let me know if you can hear me please

     I know we will meet
     Only time stands in the way
     And all these precious moments
     We could be spending together now




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Someday you’ll appear
In a crowd, on a street
I’ll know you when I see you

Never will this wanting, waiting
And knowing, wane
Please look for me also

In time we will be together, I have no doubt of this
And I feel the love we could have
Could be beyond anyone’s imagining.




      Deborah H. Collier * 1997




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A Testament To Our Love
    I love the way you hold me
    And then kiss me
    The synapses of my brain run rampant
    Like the bulls in the Spanish bull run

    I can’t breathe sometimes
    I can’t think
    I can only feel wispy nonsensical
    Images rushing through my mind

    Your lips on mine
    The pounding of your heart beating
    In rhythm with mine

    Your hands on my waist
    Pulling me closer and closer
    And in those moments the world
    Is only you and me

    I love you so very much
    Please let me live in this world
    With you for as long as I can
    By your side always.



          Deborah H. Collier * 2006




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             The Love We Have
The love we have
Is so precious and rare
A treasure I believe
That will go on forever

We know this love, even in our dreams
And I thank God everyday as I awake to you every morning
We find it difficult to put our feelings into words
For this reality is beyond even our most incredible imaginings

How very fortunate we are, to have found true love
And to have so much hope of keeping it forever,
Some people are just never able to find it
No matter how much they pursue this endeavor

They say you’ll know
When your love is truly real
And this I found to be a truth with you
With a bond our love was sealed

Sometimes I feel so good about us
But then it truly frightens me,
To think how I could go on without you by my side
I’m not prepared to think this way, this I cannot see

You are not only my true love
But my best friend of course
And I can tell you so many very private things
A line with others I have seldom crossed




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Thank you again so much for all your love
And also for believing in me
It’s uncanny how you seem to know
What to say to make me so very happy

God bless you my darling, for helping me open places in my heart
And to the parts of my emotions toward the world, my back I had turned
For you have shown me not only how to love
But you’ve shown me how to be loved in return.




                        Deborah H. Collier * 2002




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      46
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You Found Another Attraction/
        Distraction
   The feelings that I had for you
   Made me blindsided to your actions
   And even though I thought I knew you well
   Right under my nose you found another attraction

   You said you wanted to be with me
   Not only day but night
   And that our love was like a dream
   A dream that was so right

   How did I miss the clues to know
   That you had found another
   I look back now and still can’t see
   How I just became a bother

   Of the many things I now know
   We definitely should have discussed
   The terrible things you were dreaming in nightmares,
   But you said they had nothing to do with us

   You did tell me about visions
   You were experiencing from a war long passed
   And maybe you wanted someone to rescue you
   From the demons that seemed to last

   Your quiet demure was who you seemed to be
   But you were actually a man of deceivable unrest
   So how was I to even know or comprehend
   How inside you were so extremely distressed



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You’d also told me you were ecstatic to find someone like me
But I realize now how needy you were, and in your haste to find a cure
And someone just to rescue you, you never saw who I really was
In your chaotic thoughts I had actually become only a lure

I watched you as you looked outside
From the window by the bay
Never knowing how much pain you felt
Until later on that day

This all came to me as such a shock
As I was the person you said was a dream come true
And here I was believing you, I don’t understand
How people fall in and out of love as if it’s just something to do

But I’ve learned not to dwell on things that make no sense
It’s only a waste of energy
If someone decides they don’t want you, go on with your life
Because that love just wasn’t meant to be.



                        Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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Passion From The Soul
Completely undone and every nerve-ending
You've touched goes to the very depth of my heart
This passion we have is so very much alive
And cannot be conscious to us at this moment

Until emotions begin to impart
We are left with only our basic longings
And this is where we can understand that
In our deepest feelings we know we belong together

I hold onto you and we feel such happiness
In a foam-filled pool of insatiable
And abundant unstoppable loving
We never knew could be so immeasurable

Until now we could only imagine the extent true love
Could affect us until we had absolutely found it
This feeling of overdue passion is so new
That we could never explain it in all its bliss.




           Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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The Path Of Our Lives
 We’re all on an incredible journey
 One given to us by design
 And we find as we walk down this unknown path
 That our lessons accumulate and combine

 But my thoughts are that a reason is given
 That a specific purpose we possess
 We are needed to use the talents given to us
 Those with which we’ve been blessed

 Fulfilling this purpose before our time is up
 May be the reason we continue to stay
 And to know we have a specific purpose may
 Help us to make the most of each and every day

 We’re in a strange place without a past
 When we come into this world
 But I believe if we enhance our life with zeal
 Many mysteries will unfurl

 As we go along we find that
 Harsh times may come our way
 But we also find that faith can mend
 So many disappointments and dismays

 The things that hurt us intensely
 The things that are now long past
 Seem somewhat dreamlike as we go on
 The intensity seldom lasts




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We all face that question
Of “Why am I here?”
“Why was I chosen to live on this earth?”
Then the thought just disappears

The question will always intrigue us
And we can try to make sense if we choose
But if we believe this is a one time thing
Then we must make the choice to win or lose

Remember that life is fleeting and every moment counts
And that opportunity to do good can be found in many incidents
So if we make the right choices and great contributions to our world
We may help the next generation to continue to do good with great perseverance.



                           Deborah H. Collier * 2003




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How Can I Ever Trust Again?
     You were standing there
     And you could see my pain
     And then the heaven’s opened
     And my tears blended with the rain

     I couldn’t believe what you were saying
     And I didn’t want to hear
     Out of the blue these incredible words
     Did you say you didn’t care?

     No, no it can’t be true
     These words you spoke just now
     Because we were so good together
     This just can’t be somehow

     Please don’t stand there and watch me cry
     This pain inside is just too intense
     I felt that on your love I could always depend
     This just doesn’t make any sense

     You said how much you loved me
     And that our love was so surreal
     Then why this sudden change of heart?
     This must be just a dream

     Never in a million years
     Would I have ever imagined this
     Or thought this could have ever happened
     You made me believe you were in total bliss




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How do you make another
Feel so loved and so very cared for
So much the only one for you
And then on love just close the door?

I'm so confused, please help me
To understand your heart
How can I ever trust again?
And my love be able to impart?

It all comes down to one thing
One thing I now so clearly see
You wanted to be in love with love so much
You fooled us both completely.



           Deborah H. Collier * 2002




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        To A Very Good Mother
You gave me a chance to have a life and
I am so grateful and blessed to be alive
I am now able to see how the basic values you instilled in me
Have helped me to give my own children a chance to thrive

You worked so very hard and I know today
You did this with so much love for us in your heart
And I have done the same for my children
For your example helped me to get them off to a really good start

You are a Mother, who selflessly tried so very, very hard
To fix the things that most people would feel could never be resolved
But you relentlessly tried to find a way in spite of obstacles
To work out these things anyway because you felt they must be solved

You made my life much fuller, just by being with me
As much as you could each and every day
And to this day I could never thank you for all you’ve done
For there would never be enough words for what I need to say

Even so, I want to tell you
That my love for you runs very deep
And I want you to know that all the love you have given me,
Will be one of the most valuable and cherished things that I will keep

God Bless You MOM and Thanks Again,
For whether in person or in your heart, you were always there for me
And I know now how fortunate I was to have a Mother like you
Who gave her all to be the best she could be.



                        Deborah H. Collier * 2006
(Dedicated to my Mom who had to be both Mother and Father for so many years.)


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From A Disabled Child
 To His/Her Parents
 I didn’t ask for this pain
 I didn’t ask for this life
 It was given to me and to you
 And now we must try to accept it

 Not just to accept me, but accept my illness
 Accept that I may never be able to do certain things
 Accept that you will be asked to work with me
 To comfort me, to protect me

 If you water a garden it grows
 If you encourage my spirit I will grow
 If you harden your heart I will wither
 Love me and believe in me and I will blossom

 I am really just like you in so many ways
 I was born with flesh, blood, and bones
 I have feelings and they can be hurt
 I have desires and dreams that I want to achieve

 If you can treat me just like any other child
 This will allow me to become who I really am
 And then any obstacle that I may encounter
 Will be so much easier to overcome.



           Deborah H. Collier * 2001




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Perceptions
I find that many people in the world
Have all begun to lose control
Of all the things that kept them together
From the time they were very small

Some argue the question
Of why we are here at all
And if we don’t keep our perspective
We’ll find we’re up against a wall

We can’t dwell on things that we can’t change
Or on things gone bad when we’ve given our best
To do that is to stop to grow
And maybe never again be able to rest

To find a place where we can exist
And know we can be calm
We must be ready for things unknown
Love who we are, be prepared and be strong

We can never ever be perfect
No matter how hard we try
So we must take time to realize this
And not give up and on the inside die




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Many of us think we are
Just the things that we do
Like mother, teacher, engineer
But this just isn’t true

We are all just the people that we are
The person who’s inside
Our goodness and uniqueness
We must not put aside

Once we’ve come to this perception
Of the essence of our soul
We find that our outward “who we are selves”
Can be enhanced within us to behold

Who we say we are and who we are
Are sometimes two entirely different things
And wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear
Someone say “I’m just a human being”?



 Deborah H. Collier * 2005




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The Love Of A Father And Son
My son looked up at me today
Tears streaming down his cheeks
I asked him what was wrong
And he started acting so very meek

It’s hard to be a caring parent
And see your little ones in distress
So I made sure that he was physically alright
And then asked him why he was upset

He said some of the kids in school today
Had been mean to him and this had made him very sad
He said he was trying to take up for the new kid
And this made his friends really mad

I told him how kind he’d been to take up for someone new
And complimented him on knowing just how he should act
I’m sure he remembered how he felt when our family had moved
When he’d been new he’d learned a responsible way to react

Because he remembered how it had felt
And knew enough about putting himself in this boy’s place
The hurtful things the other kids were saying to this new friend
Was something he didn’t want his new friend to have to face

I told him he’d done the right thing, and how very proud I was
And I remembered reading a short quote about staying strong,
To always do what you know is right regardless
And do what you believe in even if you are the only one




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I don’t know how much those words helped him
But I did remember how it had made me feel
When other kids had teased me when I was doing the right thing
It still had taken a real toll and took me quite a while to heal

When we are raising any child, we should always keep in mind
Whether they are right or wrong, to sit down with them and to reason
Because childhood goes by so quickly, try to always be there for them
This helps them to be more secure, and to become a better person.



                       Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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The Right One
My life had been so difficult
The crises never seemed to end
But then I did not realize what was
Right around the bend

My life was going to take a turn
I never would have guessed
A wonderful change was taking place
My life would again be blessed

I prayed that God would send me
A person who loved Him too
A gentle person who could see in me
The things that were so true

A person whom I could depend on
To love me just for me
And didn’t want to change my ways
My goodness they would see

If I could find a person like this
Someone who would let me just be me
Then I would want to do for them
Even more than they would do for me




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This miracle finally happened
In a most unusual way
For many events had to take place
To bring about this day

The person that I was looking for
I met soon after I had prayed
And now after being together for many years
I still feel just as blessed as I did on the very first day.



                Deborah H. Collier * 2000




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The End Of Our Journey
  My world came tumbling down that day
  The day we said goodbye
  We knew that it would never work
  We’d done all that we could to try

  You took me in your arms so warm
  And we had our last embrace
  And all that I could see right then
  Was the sorrow on your face

  Do you think we did the right thing?
  To end this bond we’d had
  Do you think we bore poor judgment?
  This ending was so sad

  Maybe we’ll never know these answers
  And we shouldn’t second guess
  Because we can always hold onto the fact
  That we sincerely gave it our best

  You know I’ll never forget you
  For you know there never could be
  A better friend to fill my life
  A friend who taught me to just be me

  I can’t thank you enough for all you gave
  For all the kindness on your part
  And even though things just didn’t work out
  You’ll always have a special place in my heart.



           Deborah H. Collier * 2001


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The Truth Did Set You Free
 It’s difficult to discover
 The needs of another
 Are all hidden below vast layers of their past
 Which they have kept covered

 You reach out to help them
 Knowing only some of the places they have been
 But not knowing the deep things
 Which they keep so secretive and close within

 The layers must be peeled away
 To reach them it is the only way
 You give all of your all to find the key
 To gently ask things that will not make them flee

 You finally make some progress
 The answers are only surface at first
 You so much want to help them
 Because below all these layers lies a gem

 Finally they begin to tell you
 Of the things they’ve kept so hidden
 And you knew all this time it would hurt you
 But to give them all your love was what you could do

 When these many layers are peeled away
 And your love helped you to find a way
 To give this person who was to you a rarity
 A way to finally find their way to their needed clarity.



                Deborah H. Collier * 2006


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    A Love Like A Dream
The love we had
Was beyond anything I ever imagined
The love we all dream of and hope for
But can’t believe it has finally really happened

I lived this dream in the real world
Everyday in awe of how true love really felt
Thinking that this feeling could never end
Just being with you made my heart truly melt

I wanted to be with you ’til the end of time
This love was so intense and so very strong
And I felt it was invincible to any change
But if I’d been less blinded I would have seen I was wrong

Life has a way of taking strange turns
Of taking away when we’re not ready to give
But I believe to have this true love even once in your lifetime
Makes it a complete life that you’ve lived.



                    Deborah H. Collier * 1966




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       You Loved Me
       You loved me for what I was then
       Not for who I wanted to be
       Not for who I was going to be
       And not for who I was before I met you

       Your eyes shone with admiration
       For my every step, my every word
       My dreams were always within you
       For you and I belonged in the same world

       Ideas would unfold before us
       Like blossoming flowers
       For I enjoyed your thoughts and you mine
       For together was the only way we could plan

       As it was, dreams brought us together
       And dreams of a future together kept us there
       Because within this realm of happiness
       We found very few things we couldn’t share.



Deborah H. Collier * written in 1966—revised in 2010




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    When The Sea Is Calm
       When the sea is calm and the moon lays low

       We know we can begin to soothe our souls

      We can’t look away, for away would be wrong

      We must continue to envelope the steadiness

  That has begun to engulf our spirit and consciousness

To pretend, is to stay a slave to convention in our passions

  So we must let our wings come forth, and soar as high

               As the heavens will take us.



                  Deborah H. Collier * 1966




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 The Unrelinquished Sadness
I thought of us the other night
The good times and the bad
I began to think how things could have been
Had you not been so very, very sad

Your sadness had lingered for so long
From an adolescent age
And every time you thought you’d healed
It seemed as if you were still in a maze

I told you that you had to face
The fears that held you back
To be able to find the good you truly deserved
For you’d always had the things you thought you’d lacked

I tried so very hard to make you see
My love for you was true
But in order to ever make love work at all
The one you have to love first is always you.



                 Deborah H. Collier * 2003




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The Right Time
Come to me
In our every changing destinies
I know we must be
Side by side

I feel the warmth of your spirit within me
and know we will be so complete when
we meet

You’re out there just waiting
As I am right here
I just hope that you hear me

I want only you
Even though we’ve never met
I know that in time
We will meet

But it’s difficult being
So close and yet so far
Because I know you are out there

Let me know where you are
Send some sign to my door
Let me know you can hear me please

I know we will meet
Only time stands in the way
And all these precious moments we could
be spending now




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Someday you’ll appear
In a crowd, or just on any street
I’ll know you when I see you

Never will this wanting, waiting,
And knowing, wane
Please look for me also

In time we will be together
I have no doubt of this, and I feel that
The love we could have is unimaginable.



   Deborah H. Collier * 2005




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I Saw You In A Vision
 I saw you in a vision
 Just the other night
 You said that you were doing fine
 You said you were alright

 I never questioned why you came
 You needn’t speak for me to know
 Your words were there as clear as day
 As I could feel them through the glow

 You were not dressed in white
 As so many visions are
 But came only as a shadow
 To speak to me from afar

 After you said that you were fine
 And that where you were things were very bright
 Your thoughts came through without a voice
 It was like a second sight

 You let me know that where you were
 A place where the waters were always crystal blue
 You only wanted to make me aware
 That someday you wanted me to be with you

 My time on earth was fleeting
 And I must know just where I stood
 In the vastness of the universe
 There was only one true good




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I must know my God more fervently
Understand His few requests
To believe as He had instructed
And to follow would come the rest

I knew exactly what you meant
I had fallen short
And there was only one thing to do
Just one and only one resort

I saw you leave as you had come
Your message had been so clear
That I was to follow a stronger course
In the things I held so dear

God had been calling me to worship
For such a very long time
Why hadn’t I listened to Him so long ago?
My excuses to me had been fine

I felt sure I’d still get into heaven
Even though I didn’t go to His House to worship
But one day it finally hit me
How very long God had with me been patient

For this reason and many more
I began to change my course
To worship in the House of God
Otherwise, I felt I would have so very much remorse.



               Deborah H. Collier * 2004




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You Looked Up To Me
You looked up to me, to tell you right from wrong

               But I did nothing

  You looked up to me, to help you to be strong

               But I did nothing

 You looked up to me, to help you find the one

               But I did nothing

 You looked up to me, and when I came to help

                 You were gone.



             Deborah H. Collier * 1966




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                The World Traveler
 So you’re out there in this great big world
 With so many things to see
 So many new things to embrace
 Who knows where next you’ll be

 You’ve found your wings to take you higher
 To reach for the moon as always
 And in your quest you’ll see such wonders
 You might feel there are never enough days

 You’ve gone from being a quiet unassuming little child
 And evolved and now have such a confidence
 That you’re able to keep up with all you’ve had to accomplish
 And when any crisis comes your way you’ve proven your resistance

 You’ve found your niche in seeing other lands
 With each place another incredible view
 With each new step more commitment to explore
 And a multitude of new things to do

 I’m happy for your new found love
 Which is wanting to find out what is waiting in other lands
 And I hope you will be able to find all you desire
 And that you will always be led by God’s hands.



                        Deborah H. Collier* 2009
(DEDICATED TO MY TWO OLDEST SONS, SHANE AND SETH, WHO ARE TRAVELING THE
        WORLD TEACHING ENGLISH IN OTHER COUNTRIES AS CIVILIANS)




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       A New Start
What happened to us?
What came in the way?
Or was it that there were things
We should have said, but just didn’t say?

I’m totally confused
But I feel I’m to blame
Because I didn’t give all of myself
To a person who did truly love me just the same

The signs were all there
Just staring at me
But my heart was oblivious
To a love that was a fantasy

I kept going on as if there was
Nothing more to fear
But I found that as days went by
Events began to bring me to tears

I wanted our love to be fantastic
So I let all the red flags slip by
We should have been communicating
But instead all I could do was hide and cry




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I don’t think we can ever get back
The type of love we once had
But I do believe in trying to repair
The things that have made us both sad

Will you work with me and communicate?
We can talk about how we again can find a way
To be together forever, because all I really want
Is to be with you until the end of our days.



             Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper
    Completely and unbridling
    You’ve touched the deepest parts of my heart
    Deeper and deeper as I plunge
    Into the abyss of our love, down . . . down

    As I am falling I am collecting wisps of
    Far-reaching ecstasy in my soul,
    Knowing you’re feeling the same
    Sharing with me all of you

    This is where I take your hand and
    Bask with you in an infallible, abundant
    Pool of happiness . . . How could we know
    How true love could affect us until now.



               Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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                    The Nightmare
This truly is a nightmare
Surreal, chaotic, and the blood
In my veins has turned to ice
Something, I’ve never before experienced

Oh, you had me so blindsided by those
Mystifying and beautiful eyes, always gazing at me
With unbeknownst superficial love
And I bought it

All I see now is a cold, calculating, miserable soul
Again in search of someone else to wrap in deceit
Another vulnerable one is out there somewhere
And I pray they will be shielded from you and your madness

Let them see sooner than later that the monster
In you is lurking, waiting for its prey
The innocent and kind may be at your mercy
But there must be at least one whose intuitiveness alerts them early

When this happens, you will be found out before it’s too late
Before there is no turning back from your definite demise
You will be confused as to why you are not feeling the usual
Pleasure from one of your triumphs, of hurting and deceiving another

How pitiful you are, and I hope there will never have to be
Another innocent and trusting prey for you to try and deceive,
But if there is, I hope with all the hope in me
The real you will be discovered in time, next time.



             Deborah H. Collier * 2004 revised slightly in 2010


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  I Felt Your Pain
I took a walk through the park one day
And I saw you sitting there
I could tell by your expression
That you were in despair

I walked over to where you sat
And I thought I could hear your heart beat
When I asked if I could help you
You looked away and began to weep

You said that they were your only family
And this was why you were completely alone now
I wanted to hold you in my arms
And take all your pain away somehow

You told me your story
And how this life can be so strange
How you may think all is totally fine
And in a split second all can change

You told me how your parents
A year ago this day
Were traveling by car
On their way with you to stay

They ran into bad weather
The road very winding
You’d lost them on that day
Since then your life had been spiraling




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You said that you were one of only two children
But your sister had died and she was your twin
And naturally then being the only child
To your parents you became everything

They’d never wanted you too far from their side
Even as you became an adult
When their over-protectiveness became unhealthy
You gently told them that to live so close you found too difficult

I listened for a very long time
And as I left you I realized
That we cross paths with others sometimes
Just to bring some happiness where there is pain.



                     Deborah H. Collier * 2003




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When Did Things Begin To Change?
     I can’t remember when things began to change
     When we became like strangers
     I only know that it has happened
     And our love is now in danger

     We’ve had so many good times
     As so much time has passed
     But nothing is ever guaranteed,
     And many things just don’t last

     I’ve racked my brain for that turning point
     When things went all awry
     And as I contemplate our love
     The tears come to my eyes

     I want things to be the way they were
     But things just never are
     Because change is so essential
     And sometimes people can’t change for fear

     Do you think we can ever get it back,
     The things that made us click?
     Or do you feel there is no hope,
     To feel real love and not just mimic it?




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I want to be with you forever
This has never changed
But we have to be honest in all we do
And not feel it’s all arranged

If you are willing to make this happen
Then I will be there too
And maybe, just maybe, we may find
A different love, but one that is just as true.



            Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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   Putting The Pieces Back Together
Sing me a love song, sing it so it soothes
The things that I feel are unspoken
And I think these are the same things
That make me sometimes feel so broken

I know times haven’t been easy
For you and me it’s true
But we did think one thing was for sure
That love would get us through

Falling through a maze, a haze, in a daze
And everything is blurred
As I try to put the pieces back together
The way they always were

I used to feel like a broken-winged dove
Just falling and falling through space
While still totally in love I had to try to remove despair
And then try to put solace in its’ place

Love is like a puzzle, the pieces should fit tightly
And when this puzzle is disturbed the pieces do not fit right
I think we can begin to put them back as tightly as they were
Hoping that the flame of being in love we may be able to reignite

I believe we are all here for a specific purpose and I also believe
That God gave each of us the yearning of our other half to meet
For with a match that has very little connection
We may find we will never feel complete




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You have helped me greatly within
To begin to restore the things of emptiness
You’ve made things so much easier for me
I love you so much for your unselfishness

I find that because of you
I now see how these pieces can be restored
And you’ve also helped me to know through all this
That I AM the one that you adore.

And yes, now like the Phoenix, I will fly out of the ashes and will again
                         be able to SOAR!!!!



      Deborah H. Collier * written between 1999 and 2009 rewritten in 2010




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                 The Day Arrived
She sat on the steps In the front of her house
Watching her oldest child drive away
As she watched him from a distance
She knew that there was nothing more she could say

She realized that now her life had been changed
And for this she began to grieve
She had been very quiet while the last bags were packed
And she knew her love for her child would always be there to retrieve

She hugged her child so very tightly
As if this would be the last time she would for a while
Her child returned her love with a sweet kiss on her forehead
She tried to hold back the tears all along maintaining a smile

Their relationship had been wonderful
Yet she knew he must go
To fulfill his independence
Which she knew on every child we should bestow

She knew it was time that she let go
Her heart was breaking more than he knew
And the tears began to well in her eyes
As she knew there was nothing more she could do

“I’m not going forever”, to console her he had said
“And I won’t be far away”, he could see she was in pain
“I’ll come home whenever I can”, he said to her then
She knew she couldn’t hold him to this, and it began to rain




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As time went by she realized so many other things
How grateful she should be that he wanted independence
And this helped her to slowly realize it was good to slowly let go
And she could still find happiness in all their mutual remembrances

Eventually she learned from other mothers
Who had also dealt with these type of situations and emotions
That she would be able to be content with and even enjoy
A long distance relationship and have the same adoration.



                        Deborah H. Collier * 2010
            (Dedicated to the memory of my dear Aunt Ruth)




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               Where Is It Written?
Where in the world is it written that at 20
A young person should know what they’re going to become
It seems so many young people are put in cubby holes
And to not fulfill their parents’ wishes, the parents may become undone

Of course this is not always the case, as everyone is different
But the pressure that some parents put on their young
To know so many things about their future in advance
Parents are making choices for their children that they themselves long

Don’t push them or expect too much from them
Just be grateful that you’ve been allowed to guide this little person
By example try to help them and to show them how to become good people
And to know that you didn’t fail if your intentions were always wholesome

At 20 it’s generally thought that a child should know his future
And at 30 that a career or married life with children is the way
But many parents forget that if they guide their children wisely
Many times their support and love will help their children not to stray

At forty many parents feel their children should be successful
Successfulness is relative and whatever choice they’ve made
It may not be the choice that suits us, but it’s their life not ours
In the future we may see our child fall back on the foundation that we've laid




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If your child wants to be a dancer, a teacher, a writer or an artist
And so many other things even for just a month or two or more
Let them find the thing that they love the most
And give them a lot of opportunities to make it possible for them to explore

Feel so blessed if you have been able to have a child
There are so many people who can’t
For those of you who have children please realize
What an incredible privilege and blessing on you God did grant.



                           Deborah H. Collier * 2010
   (Dedicated to my other three children–Jeremy, Cody, and Bethany who have
                       brought so much joy into my life)




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Expressing My Love For You
 If I was asked to write down
 How I felt about you
 I think there would never be enough books
 To give my love for you its due

 You came into my life
 When the world looked so very, very dark
 And the first time that we met
 I knew in my life you would be a huge part

 I’ve never felt this depth of love
 I’ve never felt this joy
 And each morning as I awake,
 You’re there, my whole being to restore

 I hope that I can be to you
 The way you’ve been to me, so very real
 But it seems so unlikely that I could
 For your love has brought me to a place surreal

 To try and tell you in words how your love
 And kindness have taken my breath away
 And to express all these things and the depth of my love
 Would take a lifetime and a day.



                 Deborah H. Collier * 2010




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    A Daughter Remembers
(Even Though You Were Faraway)
       You’ve always been there for me
       A force that was so strong
       And though I rarely saw you
       I always knew that I belonged

       From all the things you’d taught me
       You gave me great insight
       And all the choices I had to make
       You were still a guiding light

       I knew that you were always there
       Whenever I needed your strength
       But the times that I could see you
       Stretched into greater length

       I felt an uncanny connection
       Even though you were faraway
       But I always felt we had plenty of time
       To see each other at times along the way

       How many times we’d spoken
       Of trips to visit we wanted to take
       Never thinking that these trips we’d planned
       You may never again be able to make

       One day I received a message
       That you only had a short time to live
       It reminded me of all the plans we’d made
       And that they were still left to be filled



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How could your condition change so rapidly
A man so vibrant until that night
You even played golf the day before
But you said you had already been shown heaven’s light

Soon after they told me you only had a few hours
And probably would not make it through the day
I knew that loosing you would be a hard cross to bear
I was so grateful we’d said as much as we could possibly say

I thank God I took the time before you left
To tell you how much you really meant
To tell you I loved you each and every day
Made me feel that our last days together were well spent

When a loved one is leaving us
And they only have a short time to live
Take every chance that you can possibly find
To give them all the love you can give.



                  Deborah H. Collier * 2001




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    Stay As Free As You Are
                (LYRICS FROM AN UNSUNG SONG)


Go from here to there and back again and never look behind
Take with you a piece of our life in the memories of your mind

Remember when you see me to wave as you pass by
Because if you don’t I think that I might cry

Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star
Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it

I hope life and good friends will always treat you well
And all your friends and family with pride can swell

I know we’ll always keep in touch
Try not to hurry, please don’t rush

Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star
Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it

You’ve got so much to experience and your whole life ahead of you
And I hope you’ll be happy and love you’ll find in all you do

Trust most people until they prove you wrong
Remember it’s so important to always have a song

Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star
Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it




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You know a song can keep you free out there
And because you know this you shouldn’t have many fears

You’re such a beautiful person, a person with such good intentions
And because of this I believe you’re someone who will often be mentioned

Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star
Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it.



                          Deborah H. Collier * 2010




                                    137

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  • 3. Everlasting Love Deborah H. Collier
  • 4. Copyright © 2010 by Deborah H. Collier. Illustrated by Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen Library of Congress Control Number: 2010909482 ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-4535-2900-3 Softcover 978-1-4535-2899-0 Ebook 978-1-4535-2901-0 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. This book was printed in the United States of America. To order additional copies of this book, contact: Xlibris Corporation 1-888-795-4274 www.Xlibris.com Orders@Xlibris.com 42112
  • 5. Contents 1. I Finally Found You .........................................................................15 2. I Needed You ..................................................................................17 3. The One Constant ..........................................................................19 4. I Am In Awe! ...................................................................................23 5. A Shining Star .................................................................................25 6. I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again ...................................................29 7. Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways..........................................33 8. You Are Out There Somewhere .......................................................37 9. A Testament To Our Love ...............................................................41 10. The Love We Have ..........................................................................43 11. You Found Another Attraction/Distraction .....................................47 12. Passion From The Soul ....................................................................51 13. The Path Of Our Lives....................................................................53 14. How Can I Ever Trust Again? ..........................................................57 15. To A Very Good Mother .................................................................61 16. From A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents ....................................63 17. Perceptions ......................................................................................65 18. The Love Of A Father And Son .......................................................69 19. The Right One ................................................................................73 20. The End Of Our Journey ................................................................77
  • 7. 21. The Truth Did Set You Free ............................................................79 22. A Love Like A Dream ......................................................................81 23. You Loved Me .................................................................................83 24. When The Sea Is Calm....................................................................85 25. The Unrelinquished Sadness ...........................................................87 26. The Right Time...............................................................................89 27. I Saw You In A Vision .....................................................................93 28. You Looked Up To Me ....................................................................97 29. The World Traveler .........................................................................99 30. A New Start ..................................................................................101 31. Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper .....................................................105 32. The Nightmare .............................................................................107 33. I Felt Your Pain .............................................................................109 34. When Did Things Begin To Change? ............................................113 35. Putting The Pieces Back Together ..................................................117 36. The Day Arrived ...........................................................................121 37. Where Is It Written? ......................................................................125 38. Expressing My Love For You .........................................................129 39. A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway) ..........131 40. Stay As Free As You Are .................................................................135 * Denotes actual year the poem was written by the author ** Note: The author is very aware of the many punctuation marks (mainly commas) missing from the poems. This was done purposefully, and the ones left in were to make it easier for the reader to understand the contextual nature of a stanza or line, and the underlines of course to make a point more emphatically. I felt that by leaving out the extra punctuation it would allow the reader to be less interrupted, and the poem to flow as fluently as possible.
  • 9. Dedication Dedicated to my wonderful parents, who loved me unconditionally, and showed me by example how to be a person with good values and a person of worth. My incredibly supportive and loving husband, Bruce, who has shown me what being in love really means. My five children, Shane, Seth, Jeremy, Cody and Bethany who have given me the opportunity to know the real meaning of unconditional love. And to my beautiful cousin, friend and confidant, Jean, whom I appreciate so much. To them I want to express my love and gratitude, and feel blessed to have had them in my life to be an inspiration for this book. A special thank you to my illustrator, Jeremy Aloysius Richthofen, and his wife Elie, an exceptional couple who made my job much easier.
  • 11. Preface I wrote this book trying to address many of the types of love we encounter in life. If you were to ask a hundred people what they feel true love is, they would probably have a lot of the same thoughts, but I believe there would not be one answer that was the same. We all see love for others in different ways, but the one theme that does hold true, is that love is to feel an emptiness in your heart when that person is not with you and you want to be able to be with that other person more than with others. Many of my poems are of love lost, and I wrote these because this is the reality of love for another. We are never guaranteed “a rose garden” in any relationship, but those that endure the test of time means that either both parties are working very hard to make things work out or that they are “soul mates” to begin with. If they are “soul mates”, this may give them the good fortune and possibility of not having to deal with some of the same stresses that many other marriages and partnerships could have. Some of my poems are of everlasting love. Love that we feel even when we have lost a loved one through illness or tragedy, and we continue to love them after death. Also, when we have lost a partner because things did not work out between the two people involved. I feel that anyone who finds what they feel is “true love”, is so very fortunate as I said in one poem because some of us never ever find it. These poems were not written from life experience as much as they were on what I feel others have had to go through in relationships. I want to touch other people’s hearts and have them feel that they are not alone, and if a poem “speaks” to them, I have accomplished my purpose by writing this book. Many people may find solace in one or more of these poems, if they are still in love with someone who has passed over, or who is inaccessible to them at this point in time. The love we have for our children, of course is different, and I wanted to include this in order to address mothers and fathers, young and old. This type of love should be unconditional and last all our lives as their parents. Some parents feel that when their children turn a certain age, and they are no longer responsible for them by law, that their caring for them as they have in the past stops there. I feel that your children are your responsibility 11
  • 13. Everlasting Love all your life. You should be there for them whenever they need you, and help and support them the best that you can no matter how old they are. When they marry you should be a presence, but not one that interferes with their marriage. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to them, but to make decisions for their marriage is up to them and their partner. I hope that I have been able to be as inclusive as possible with the types of love that we may encounter in our everyday lives, and I hope that I have touched the hearts of my readers in a positive way, even if a poem brings tears to their eyes. I feel we have to have experienced pain and sorrow in order to be able to know the joy that comes from so many kinds of love. I send my love out to my readers, and as I said above, I hope I have also touched your hearts. 13
  • 15. Everlasting Love I Finally Found You I’ve been waiting all my life To find someone just like you To fill my days and nights with love To find a love so true I’m sitting by my window Just waiting your return And knowing all the time I wait Like me, your heart does yearn We’ve built a solid foundation One that just can’t be thrown aside And one that will withstand All the things love must abide I’m so happy that you love me And that I can return this same love to you And to find each other at this time Is something we both are so overdue We just happen to be two of the fortunate ones Who found true love but not too late And to know true love is so very wonderful Especially now that we no longer have to wait I feel we will be together Until we are made to part And that in itself is a tribute To how two can share one heart. Deborah H. Collier* 2010 15
  • 17. Everlasting Love I Needed You I needed you and since I did, I found that peace had almost entirely left me The days for me were so long and slow, and because of this, out of this rut, I could not escape The things we knew, our hopes our plans, were ours and ours alone And since you weren’t in my world now, the joy in my life was not to be found You finally came to me in a dream, a dream I had waited for, for so very long And when you did, a joy I’d forgotten how to feel was slowly becoming so very strong I felt I couldn’t catch my breath, for the words you spoke went right to my soul As you spoke it seemed so real, and for this reason I began to feel very cold You told me that I must not wait for you, to come back any longer This I had never been able to grasp before but now I was much stronger You then said to me that to be with you now, was not the answer for us You said I must let go, and promise you that I must let nature take its course This dream had helped me to no longer fear to start feeling joy in my life To finding relief by feeling more peace, even though you were no longer by my side I loved you so, your demise had hurt so very, very much—our love had been so pure This dream I think had three messages—to help me to let go and to go on, and to encourage me to also try to help others to find their own closure. Deborah H. Collier written in 1966 revised 2010 17
  • 19. Everlasting Love The One Constant You are the one who brightens my day The one constant in my life The one who fulfills my wants and needs The one who lessens my everyday strife I don’t know how ever I found you In this vast and ever-changing world I was told it was divine intervention And together I want us to be as we grow old How many things had to happen To bring us to this place Where we can be together In this world’s so very fast pace We are at times somewhat different But more often so very much alike I feel that makes us balanced With our likes and sometimes dislikes It’s amazing to me that I find, So little about you that I would change And that you know how I feel Without even any verbal or physical exchange 19
  • 21. Everlasting Love Your modesty is such That most would never know The depth and profoundness of your being Which shines like a beacon in a heavy snow I feel that I shall never find One as loving and kind as you To fill my days with peace and joy In whatever we decide to do. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 21
  • 23. Everlasting Love I Am In Awe! I am in awe, when you hold me, Mold me, and enfold me, And I melt into your arms. I am in awe, when you allow me, Wow me, and endow me with so Many of your natural gifts. I am in awe, when you astound me, Surround me, And send sounds to me From the whispers of your mind. I am in awe, when you educate me, Evaluate me, And elate me with your love. I am in awe, when you caress me, Address me, and impress me With the kindness that you So generously give. I hope that we shall never have to say adieu, Because my loving partner . . . . I AM SO IN AWE OF YOU! Deborah H. Collier * 2005 23
  • 25. Everlasting Love A Shining Star My life was totally empty When you left me on that day For I could make no sense Of the thing that took you away I’ve searched my soul for reasons That no sense can ever impart For I know to try to look for sense Would never heal this broken heart I’ve wanted to be near you Each and every day as I arise But I know that it was not your fault That we said our last good-byes My love will always be with you No matter where you are I ask only that you know this That you were and are my shining star For you were the one I turned to The one who always knew How to make a day so wonderful Just by being YOU 25
  • 27. Everlasting Love I now turn to those who stayed And to God to ease this pain But as we both know so well This heartache will remain Someday it may be better I have memories that are gold But what I really want the most Is YOU right here to hold! Deborah H. Collier * 2001 (Originally written as a dedication to 911 victims & their families and also read at my Father’s funeral Dec. 2001 Also, with great sympathy to those who suffered through the devastation of hurricane Katrina, and to those heroes who helped other people during this incredible fight for survival.) 27
  • 29. Everlasting Love I’ll Let Love Into My Heart Again I found that to shut yourself completely down To walk through life like a piece of machinery made of steel Eventually while it is catching up with you You may find to feel love again helps you to heal As they say we must know pain to know real joy To have joy may take some people a great deal of effort for sure And as much as we want to remain anonymous Someone may come along that we cannot ignore This someone was you, I started letting down my guard Bit by bit the walls I had built were crumbling and beginning to fall I felt this was dangerous because I was scared As I started feeling old feelings—one after another piece fell from the wall And you didn’t let up—you stayed with me You began to start touching heartstrings I had for so long protected As much as I tried to discourage you—you just weren’t inclined to give up You just kept staying with me no matter how much I made you feel rejected How is it that after so many years of trying to hold onto my feelings You came into my life and turned it up side down Because of your patience and persistence and absolute caring I had begun to feel again—my past pains I knew I could now overcome When had I started to become so cynical, and how long had I been this way? So uptight when these feelings are what make us all just human It seemed that no matter how hard I tried I knew that by running away from everything was just a pitiful reason 29
  • 31. Everlasting Love Most people need others to turn to when things are going wrong We need others to let us know we have a unique purpose When all I could do was shut all the doors to my heart I began to realize that what hurt me, could have been much worse At times no matter how badly we’ve been hurt and try to hide from the world There is usually someone who comes into our lives and in just a short time Helps us break away a truckload of walls we’ve been so carefully building And then we can begin to regain faith in love, and everything begins to shine I set myself up for heartache, so very many times, and felt that it was all my fault I know now that it wasn’t, as there are no guarantees, since real life is not that way at all Thank you so much for not giving up on me, for this is what has helped me to see That opening your heart to others is the thing to do and in love again I could fall. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 31
  • 33. Everlasting Love Hurt And Sadness Can Work Two Ways I walked into the park one day And saw a young girl crying on a bench nearby I asked her if she would like someone to talk to And she answered yes while she still cried She continued to cry The tears flowed as she spoke I told her she could tell me what was wrong Because my trust she certainly could invoke She explained that when she and her boyfriend Were at home night before last That the evening was the same As it always had been in the past She said when they awakened He was totally aloof, and said he didn’t want to talk And this was completely unlike him Because from casual conversation he had never balked She told me he was the most beautiful man She had ever known, and their love had been sublime And I knew these words were from her heart Because out of the tears her face suddenly began to shine She told me that she loved him more Than anyone could ever understand And they had talked so many times of A life together they had planned 33
  • 35. Everlasting Love The morning that she spoke of, Had changed her whole world of dreams For he confessed he thought he’d never really loved her And they could no longer be a team My heart plummeted for her as she told me this For I had had a similar experience, a relationship that ceased I told her she should grieve as long as she needed to And time would eventually work in her favor to give her needed peace It’s difficult to console someone Who has just had such a terrible shock But I’ve found through the hurt I’ve encountered As much as you would like to, you can never turn back the clock Some people go through tragedies That make them so bitter, they never seem to mend But there are others who have turned their hurt into strength And this has helped them to become stronger and better in the end. Deborah H. Collier * 2007 35
  • 37. Everlasting Love You Are Out There Somewhere Come to me In our every changing destinies I know we must be Side by side I feel the warmth of your spirit within me And know we will be so complete when We meet You’re out there just waiting As I am right here I just hope that you can hear me I want only you Even though we’ve never met I know that in time It seems destined that we will But it’s difficult being So close and yet so far Because I know you are close Let me know where you are Send some sign to my door Let me know if you can hear me please I know we will meet Only time stands in the way And all these precious moments We could be spending together now 37
  • 39. Everlasting Love Someday you’ll appear In a crowd, on a street I’ll know you when I see you Never will this wanting, waiting And knowing, wane Please look for me also In time we will be together, I have no doubt of this And I feel the love we could have Could be beyond anyone’s imagining. Deborah H. Collier * 1997 39
  • 41. Everlasting Love A Testament To Our Love I love the way you hold me And then kiss me The synapses of my brain run rampant Like the bulls in the Spanish bull run I can’t breathe sometimes I can’t think I can only feel wispy nonsensical Images rushing through my mind Your lips on mine The pounding of your heart beating In rhythm with mine Your hands on my waist Pulling me closer and closer And in those moments the world Is only you and me I love you so very much Please let me live in this world With you for as long as I can By your side always. Deborah H. Collier * 2006 41
  • 43. Everlasting Love The Love We Have The love we have Is so precious and rare A treasure I believe That will go on forever We know this love, even in our dreams And I thank God everyday as I awake to you every morning We find it difficult to put our feelings into words For this reality is beyond even our most incredible imaginings How very fortunate we are, to have found true love And to have so much hope of keeping it forever, Some people are just never able to find it No matter how much they pursue this endeavor They say you’ll know When your love is truly real And this I found to be a truth with you With a bond our love was sealed Sometimes I feel so good about us But then it truly frightens me, To think how I could go on without you by my side I’m not prepared to think this way, this I cannot see You are not only my true love But my best friend of course And I can tell you so many very private things A line with others I have seldom crossed 43
  • 45. Everlasting Love Thank you again so much for all your love And also for believing in me It’s uncanny how you seem to know What to say to make me so very happy God bless you my darling, for helping me open places in my heart And to the parts of my emotions toward the world, my back I had turned For you have shown me not only how to love But you’ve shown me how to be loved in return. Deborah H. Collier * 2002 45
  • 47. Everlasting Love You Found Another Attraction/ Distraction The feelings that I had for you Made me blindsided to your actions And even though I thought I knew you well Right under my nose you found another attraction You said you wanted to be with me Not only day but night And that our love was like a dream A dream that was so right How did I miss the clues to know That you had found another I look back now and still can’t see How I just became a bother Of the many things I now know We definitely should have discussed The terrible things you were dreaming in nightmares, But you said they had nothing to do with us You did tell me about visions You were experiencing from a war long passed And maybe you wanted someone to rescue you From the demons that seemed to last Your quiet demure was who you seemed to be But you were actually a man of deceivable unrest So how was I to even know or comprehend How inside you were so extremely distressed 47
  • 49. Everlasting Love You’d also told me you were ecstatic to find someone like me But I realize now how needy you were, and in your haste to find a cure And someone just to rescue you, you never saw who I really was In your chaotic thoughts I had actually become only a lure I watched you as you looked outside From the window by the bay Never knowing how much pain you felt Until later on that day This all came to me as such a shock As I was the person you said was a dream come true And here I was believing you, I don’t understand How people fall in and out of love as if it’s just something to do But I’ve learned not to dwell on things that make no sense It’s only a waste of energy If someone decides they don’t want you, go on with your life Because that love just wasn’t meant to be. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 49
  • 51. Everlasting Love Passion From The Soul Completely undone and every nerve-ending You've touched goes to the very depth of my heart This passion we have is so very much alive And cannot be conscious to us at this moment Until emotions begin to impart We are left with only our basic longings And this is where we can understand that In our deepest feelings we know we belong together I hold onto you and we feel such happiness In a foam-filled pool of insatiable And abundant unstoppable loving We never knew could be so immeasurable Until now we could only imagine the extent true love Could affect us until we had absolutely found it This feeling of overdue passion is so new That we could never explain it in all its bliss. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 51
  • 53. Everlasting Love The Path Of Our Lives We’re all on an incredible journey One given to us by design And we find as we walk down this unknown path That our lessons accumulate and combine But my thoughts are that a reason is given That a specific purpose we possess We are needed to use the talents given to us Those with which we’ve been blessed Fulfilling this purpose before our time is up May be the reason we continue to stay And to know we have a specific purpose may Help us to make the most of each and every day We’re in a strange place without a past When we come into this world But I believe if we enhance our life with zeal Many mysteries will unfurl As we go along we find that Harsh times may come our way But we also find that faith can mend So many disappointments and dismays The things that hurt us intensely The things that are now long past Seem somewhat dreamlike as we go on The intensity seldom lasts 53
  • 55. Everlasting Love We all face that question Of “Why am I here?” “Why was I chosen to live on this earth?” Then the thought just disappears The question will always intrigue us And we can try to make sense if we choose But if we believe this is a one time thing Then we must make the choice to win or lose Remember that life is fleeting and every moment counts And that opportunity to do good can be found in many incidents So if we make the right choices and great contributions to our world We may help the next generation to continue to do good with great perseverance. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 55
  • 57. Everlasting Love How Can I Ever Trust Again? You were standing there And you could see my pain And then the heaven’s opened And my tears blended with the rain I couldn’t believe what you were saying And I didn’t want to hear Out of the blue these incredible words Did you say you didn’t care? No, no it can’t be true These words you spoke just now Because we were so good together This just can’t be somehow Please don’t stand there and watch me cry This pain inside is just too intense I felt that on your love I could always depend This just doesn’t make any sense You said how much you loved me And that our love was so surreal Then why this sudden change of heart? This must be just a dream Never in a million years Would I have ever imagined this Or thought this could have ever happened You made me believe you were in total bliss 57
  • 59. Everlasting Love How do you make another Feel so loved and so very cared for So much the only one for you And then on love just close the door? I'm so confused, please help me To understand your heart How can I ever trust again? And my love be able to impart? It all comes down to one thing One thing I now so clearly see You wanted to be in love with love so much You fooled us both completely. Deborah H. Collier * 2002 59
  • 61. Everlasting Love To A Very Good Mother You gave me a chance to have a life and I am so grateful and blessed to be alive I am now able to see how the basic values you instilled in me Have helped me to give my own children a chance to thrive You worked so very hard and I know today You did this with so much love for us in your heart And I have done the same for my children For your example helped me to get them off to a really good start You are a Mother, who selflessly tried so very, very hard To fix the things that most people would feel could never be resolved But you relentlessly tried to find a way in spite of obstacles To work out these things anyway because you felt they must be solved You made my life much fuller, just by being with me As much as you could each and every day And to this day I could never thank you for all you’ve done For there would never be enough words for what I need to say Even so, I want to tell you That my love for you runs very deep And I want you to know that all the love you have given me, Will be one of the most valuable and cherished things that I will keep God Bless You MOM and Thanks Again, For whether in person or in your heart, you were always there for me And I know now how fortunate I was to have a Mother like you Who gave her all to be the best she could be. Deborah H. Collier * 2006 (Dedicated to my Mom who had to be both Mother and Father for so many years.) 61
  • 63. Everlasting Love From A Disabled Child To His/Her Parents I didn’t ask for this pain I didn’t ask for this life It was given to me and to you And now we must try to accept it Not just to accept me, but accept my illness Accept that I may never be able to do certain things Accept that you will be asked to work with me To comfort me, to protect me If you water a garden it grows If you encourage my spirit I will grow If you harden your heart I will wither Love me and believe in me and I will blossom I am really just like you in so many ways I was born with flesh, blood, and bones I have feelings and they can be hurt I have desires and dreams that I want to achieve If you can treat me just like any other child This will allow me to become who I really am And then any obstacle that I may encounter Will be so much easier to overcome. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 63
  • 65. Everlasting Love Perceptions I find that many people in the world Have all begun to lose control Of all the things that kept them together From the time they were very small Some argue the question Of why we are here at all And if we don’t keep our perspective We’ll find we’re up against a wall We can’t dwell on things that we can’t change Or on things gone bad when we’ve given our best To do that is to stop to grow And maybe never again be able to rest To find a place where we can exist And know we can be calm We must be ready for things unknown Love who we are, be prepared and be strong We can never ever be perfect No matter how hard we try So we must take time to realize this And not give up and on the inside die 65
  • 67. Everlasting Love Many of us think we are Just the things that we do Like mother, teacher, engineer But this just isn’t true We are all just the people that we are The person who’s inside Our goodness and uniqueness We must not put aside Once we’ve come to this perception Of the essence of our soul We find that our outward “who we are selves” Can be enhanced within us to behold Who we say we are and who we are Are sometimes two entirely different things And wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear Someone say “I’m just a human being”? Deborah H. Collier * 2005 67
  • 69. Everlasting Love The Love Of A Father And Son My son looked up at me today Tears streaming down his cheeks I asked him what was wrong And he started acting so very meek It’s hard to be a caring parent And see your little ones in distress So I made sure that he was physically alright And then asked him why he was upset He said some of the kids in school today Had been mean to him and this had made him very sad He said he was trying to take up for the new kid And this made his friends really mad I told him how kind he’d been to take up for someone new And complimented him on knowing just how he should act I’m sure he remembered how he felt when our family had moved When he’d been new he’d learned a responsible way to react Because he remembered how it had felt And knew enough about putting himself in this boy’s place The hurtful things the other kids were saying to this new friend Was something he didn’t want his new friend to have to face I told him he’d done the right thing, and how very proud I was And I remembered reading a short quote about staying strong, To always do what you know is right regardless And do what you believe in even if you are the only one 69
  • 71. Everlasting Love I don’t know how much those words helped him But I did remember how it had made me feel When other kids had teased me when I was doing the right thing It still had taken a real toll and took me quite a while to heal When we are raising any child, we should always keep in mind Whether they are right or wrong, to sit down with them and to reason Because childhood goes by so quickly, try to always be there for them This helps them to be more secure, and to become a better person. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 71
  • 73. Everlasting Love The Right One My life had been so difficult The crises never seemed to end But then I did not realize what was Right around the bend My life was going to take a turn I never would have guessed A wonderful change was taking place My life would again be blessed I prayed that God would send me A person who loved Him too A gentle person who could see in me The things that were so true A person whom I could depend on To love me just for me And didn’t want to change my ways My goodness they would see If I could find a person like this Someone who would let me just be me Then I would want to do for them Even more than they would do for me 73
  • 75. Everlasting Love This miracle finally happened In a most unusual way For many events had to take place To bring about this day The person that I was looking for I met soon after I had prayed And now after being together for many years I still feel just as blessed as I did on the very first day. Deborah H. Collier * 2000 75
  • 77. Everlasting Love The End Of Our Journey My world came tumbling down that day The day we said goodbye We knew that it would never work We’d done all that we could to try You took me in your arms so warm And we had our last embrace And all that I could see right then Was the sorrow on your face Do you think we did the right thing? To end this bond we’d had Do you think we bore poor judgment? This ending was so sad Maybe we’ll never know these answers And we shouldn’t second guess Because we can always hold onto the fact That we sincerely gave it our best You know I’ll never forget you For you know there never could be A better friend to fill my life A friend who taught me to just be me I can’t thank you enough for all you gave For all the kindness on your part And even though things just didn’t work out You’ll always have a special place in my heart. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 77
  • 79. Everlasting Love The Truth Did Set You Free It’s difficult to discover The needs of another Are all hidden below vast layers of their past Which they have kept covered You reach out to help them Knowing only some of the places they have been But not knowing the deep things Which they keep so secretive and close within The layers must be peeled away To reach them it is the only way You give all of your all to find the key To gently ask things that will not make them flee You finally make some progress The answers are only surface at first You so much want to help them Because below all these layers lies a gem Finally they begin to tell you Of the things they’ve kept so hidden And you knew all this time it would hurt you But to give them all your love was what you could do When these many layers are peeled away And your love helped you to find a way To give this person who was to you a rarity A way to finally find their way to their needed clarity. Deborah H. Collier * 2006 79
  • 81. Everlasting Love A Love Like A Dream The love we had Was beyond anything I ever imagined The love we all dream of and hope for But can’t believe it has finally really happened I lived this dream in the real world Everyday in awe of how true love really felt Thinking that this feeling could never end Just being with you made my heart truly melt I wanted to be with you ’til the end of time This love was so intense and so very strong And I felt it was invincible to any change But if I’d been less blinded I would have seen I was wrong Life has a way of taking strange turns Of taking away when we’re not ready to give But I believe to have this true love even once in your lifetime Makes it a complete life that you’ve lived. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 81
  • 83. Everlasting Love You Loved Me You loved me for what I was then Not for who I wanted to be Not for who I was going to be And not for who I was before I met you Your eyes shone with admiration For my every step, my every word My dreams were always within you For you and I belonged in the same world Ideas would unfold before us Like blossoming flowers For I enjoyed your thoughts and you mine For together was the only way we could plan As it was, dreams brought us together And dreams of a future together kept us there Because within this realm of happiness We found very few things we couldn’t share. Deborah H. Collier * written in 1966—revised in 2010 83
  • 85. Everlasting Love When The Sea Is Calm When the sea is calm and the moon lays low We know we can begin to soothe our souls We can’t look away, for away would be wrong We must continue to envelope the steadiness That has begun to engulf our spirit and consciousness To pretend, is to stay a slave to convention in our passions So we must let our wings come forth, and soar as high As the heavens will take us. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 85
  • 87. Everlasting Love The Unrelinquished Sadness I thought of us the other night The good times and the bad I began to think how things could have been Had you not been so very, very sad Your sadness had lingered for so long From an adolescent age And every time you thought you’d healed It seemed as if you were still in a maze I told you that you had to face The fears that held you back To be able to find the good you truly deserved For you’d always had the things you thought you’d lacked I tried so very hard to make you see My love for you was true But in order to ever make love work at all The one you have to love first is always you. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 87
  • 89. Everlasting Love The Right Time Come to me In our every changing destinies I know we must be Side by side I feel the warmth of your spirit within me and know we will be so complete when we meet You’re out there just waiting As I am right here I just hope that you hear me I want only you Even though we’ve never met I know that in time We will meet But it’s difficult being So close and yet so far Because I know you are out there Let me know where you are Send some sign to my door Let me know you can hear me please I know we will meet Only time stands in the way And all these precious moments we could be spending now 89
  • 91. Everlasting Love Someday you’ll appear In a crowd, or just on any street I’ll know you when I see you Never will this wanting, waiting, And knowing, wane Please look for me also In time we will be together I have no doubt of this, and I feel that The love we could have is unimaginable. Deborah H. Collier * 2005 91
  • 93. Everlasting Love I Saw You In A Vision I saw you in a vision Just the other night You said that you were doing fine You said you were alright I never questioned why you came You needn’t speak for me to know Your words were there as clear as day As I could feel them through the glow You were not dressed in white As so many visions are But came only as a shadow To speak to me from afar After you said that you were fine And that where you were things were very bright Your thoughts came through without a voice It was like a second sight You let me know that where you were A place where the waters were always crystal blue You only wanted to make me aware That someday you wanted me to be with you My time on earth was fleeting And I must know just where I stood In the vastness of the universe There was only one true good 93
  • 95. Everlasting Love I must know my God more fervently Understand His few requests To believe as He had instructed And to follow would come the rest I knew exactly what you meant I had fallen short And there was only one thing to do Just one and only one resort I saw you leave as you had come Your message had been so clear That I was to follow a stronger course In the things I held so dear God had been calling me to worship For such a very long time Why hadn’t I listened to Him so long ago? My excuses to me had been fine I felt sure I’d still get into heaven Even though I didn’t go to His House to worship But one day it finally hit me How very long God had with me been patient For this reason and many more I began to change my course To worship in the House of God Otherwise, I felt I would have so very much remorse. Deborah H. Collier * 2004 95
  • 97. Everlasting Love You Looked Up To Me You looked up to me, to tell you right from wrong But I did nothing You looked up to me, to help you to be strong But I did nothing You looked up to me, to help you find the one But I did nothing You looked up to me, and when I came to help You were gone. Deborah H. Collier * 1966 97
  • 99. Everlasting Love The World Traveler So you’re out there in this great big world With so many things to see So many new things to embrace Who knows where next you’ll be You’ve found your wings to take you higher To reach for the moon as always And in your quest you’ll see such wonders You might feel there are never enough days You’ve gone from being a quiet unassuming little child And evolved and now have such a confidence That you’re able to keep up with all you’ve had to accomplish And when any crisis comes your way you’ve proven your resistance You’ve found your niche in seeing other lands With each place another incredible view With each new step more commitment to explore And a multitude of new things to do I’m happy for your new found love Which is wanting to find out what is waiting in other lands And I hope you will be able to find all you desire And that you will always be led by God’s hands. Deborah H. Collier* 2009 (DEDICATED TO MY TWO OLDEST SONS, SHANE AND SETH, WHO ARE TRAVELING THE WORLD TEACHING ENGLISH IN OTHER COUNTRIES AS CIVILIANS) 99
  • 101. Everlasting Love A New Start What happened to us? What came in the way? Or was it that there were things We should have said, but just didn’t say? I’m totally confused But I feel I’m to blame Because I didn’t give all of myself To a person who did truly love me just the same The signs were all there Just staring at me But my heart was oblivious To a love that was a fantasy I kept going on as if there was Nothing more to fear But I found that as days went by Events began to bring me to tears I wanted our love to be fantastic So I let all the red flags slip by We should have been communicating But instead all I could do was hide and cry 101
  • 103. Everlasting Love I don’t think we can ever get back The type of love we once had But I do believe in trying to repair The things that have made us both sad Will you work with me and communicate? We can talk about how we again can find a way To be together forever, because all I really want Is to be with you until the end of our days. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 103
  • 105. Everlasting Love Falling . . . Deeper And Deeper Completely and unbridling You’ve touched the deepest parts of my heart Deeper and deeper as I plunge Into the abyss of our love, down . . . down As I am falling I am collecting wisps of Far-reaching ecstasy in my soul, Knowing you’re feeling the same Sharing with me all of you This is where I take your hand and Bask with you in an infallible, abundant Pool of happiness . . . How could we know How true love could affect us until now. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 105
  • 107. Everlasting Love The Nightmare This truly is a nightmare Surreal, chaotic, and the blood In my veins has turned to ice Something, I’ve never before experienced Oh, you had me so blindsided by those Mystifying and beautiful eyes, always gazing at me With unbeknownst superficial love And I bought it All I see now is a cold, calculating, miserable soul Again in search of someone else to wrap in deceit Another vulnerable one is out there somewhere And I pray they will be shielded from you and your madness Let them see sooner than later that the monster In you is lurking, waiting for its prey The innocent and kind may be at your mercy But there must be at least one whose intuitiveness alerts them early When this happens, you will be found out before it’s too late Before there is no turning back from your definite demise You will be confused as to why you are not feeling the usual Pleasure from one of your triumphs, of hurting and deceiving another How pitiful you are, and I hope there will never have to be Another innocent and trusting prey for you to try and deceive, But if there is, I hope with all the hope in me The real you will be discovered in time, next time. Deborah H. Collier * 2004 revised slightly in 2010 107
  • 109. Everlasting Love I Felt Your Pain I took a walk through the park one day And I saw you sitting there I could tell by your expression That you were in despair I walked over to where you sat And I thought I could hear your heart beat When I asked if I could help you You looked away and began to weep You said that they were your only family And this was why you were completely alone now I wanted to hold you in my arms And take all your pain away somehow You told me your story And how this life can be so strange How you may think all is totally fine And in a split second all can change You told me how your parents A year ago this day Were traveling by car On their way with you to stay They ran into bad weather The road very winding You’d lost them on that day Since then your life had been spiraling 109
  • 111. Everlasting Love You said that you were one of only two children But your sister had died and she was your twin And naturally then being the only child To your parents you became everything They’d never wanted you too far from their side Even as you became an adult When their over-protectiveness became unhealthy You gently told them that to live so close you found too difficult I listened for a very long time And as I left you I realized That we cross paths with others sometimes Just to bring some happiness where there is pain. Deborah H. Collier * 2003 111
  • 113. Everlasting Love When Did Things Begin To Change? I can’t remember when things began to change When we became like strangers I only know that it has happened And our love is now in danger We’ve had so many good times As so much time has passed But nothing is ever guaranteed, And many things just don’t last I’ve racked my brain for that turning point When things went all awry And as I contemplate our love The tears come to my eyes I want things to be the way they were But things just never are Because change is so essential And sometimes people can’t change for fear Do you think we can ever get it back, The things that made us click? Or do you feel there is no hope, To feel real love and not just mimic it? 113
  • 115. Everlasting Love I want to be with you forever This has never changed But we have to be honest in all we do And not feel it’s all arranged If you are willing to make this happen Then I will be there too And maybe, just maybe, we may find A different love, but one that is just as true. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 115
  • 117. Everlasting Love Putting The Pieces Back Together Sing me a love song, sing it so it soothes The things that I feel are unspoken And I think these are the same things That make me sometimes feel so broken I know times haven’t been easy For you and me it’s true But we did think one thing was for sure That love would get us through Falling through a maze, a haze, in a daze And everything is blurred As I try to put the pieces back together The way they always were I used to feel like a broken-winged dove Just falling and falling through space While still totally in love I had to try to remove despair And then try to put solace in its’ place Love is like a puzzle, the pieces should fit tightly And when this puzzle is disturbed the pieces do not fit right I think we can begin to put them back as tightly as they were Hoping that the flame of being in love we may be able to reignite I believe we are all here for a specific purpose and I also believe That God gave each of us the yearning of our other half to meet For with a match that has very little connection We may find we will never feel complete 117
  • 119. Everlasting Love You have helped me greatly within To begin to restore the things of emptiness You’ve made things so much easier for me I love you so much for your unselfishness I find that because of you I now see how these pieces can be restored And you’ve also helped me to know through all this That I AM the one that you adore. And yes, now like the Phoenix, I will fly out of the ashes and will again be able to SOAR!!!! Deborah H. Collier * written between 1999 and 2009 rewritten in 2010 119
  • 121. Everlasting Love The Day Arrived She sat on the steps In the front of her house Watching her oldest child drive away As she watched him from a distance She knew that there was nothing more she could say She realized that now her life had been changed And for this she began to grieve She had been very quiet while the last bags were packed And she knew her love for her child would always be there to retrieve She hugged her child so very tightly As if this would be the last time she would for a while Her child returned her love with a sweet kiss on her forehead She tried to hold back the tears all along maintaining a smile Their relationship had been wonderful Yet she knew he must go To fulfill his independence Which she knew on every child we should bestow She knew it was time that she let go Her heart was breaking more than he knew And the tears began to well in her eyes As she knew there was nothing more she could do “I’m not going forever”, to console her he had said “And I won’t be far away”, he could see she was in pain “I’ll come home whenever I can”, he said to her then She knew she couldn’t hold him to this, and it began to rain 121
  • 123. Everlasting Love As time went by she realized so many other things How grateful she should be that he wanted independence And this helped her to slowly realize it was good to slowly let go And she could still find happiness in all their mutual remembrances Eventually she learned from other mothers Who had also dealt with these type of situations and emotions That she would be able to be content with and even enjoy A long distance relationship and have the same adoration. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 (Dedicated to the memory of my dear Aunt Ruth) 123
  • 125. Everlasting Love Where Is It Written? Where in the world is it written that at 20 A young person should know what they’re going to become It seems so many young people are put in cubby holes And to not fulfill their parents’ wishes, the parents may become undone Of course this is not always the case, as everyone is different But the pressure that some parents put on their young To know so many things about their future in advance Parents are making choices for their children that they themselves long Don’t push them or expect too much from them Just be grateful that you’ve been allowed to guide this little person By example try to help them and to show them how to become good people And to know that you didn’t fail if your intentions were always wholesome At 20 it’s generally thought that a child should know his future And at 30 that a career or married life with children is the way But many parents forget that if they guide their children wisely Many times their support and love will help their children not to stray At forty many parents feel their children should be successful Successfulness is relative and whatever choice they’ve made It may not be the choice that suits us, but it’s their life not ours In the future we may see our child fall back on the foundation that we've laid 125
  • 127. Everlasting Love If your child wants to be a dancer, a teacher, a writer or an artist And so many other things even for just a month or two or more Let them find the thing that they love the most And give them a lot of opportunities to make it possible for them to explore Feel so blessed if you have been able to have a child There are so many people who can’t For those of you who have children please realize What an incredible privilege and blessing on you God did grant. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 (Dedicated to my other three children–Jeremy, Cody, and Bethany who have brought so much joy into my life) 127
  • 129. Everlasting Love Expressing My Love For You If I was asked to write down How I felt about you I think there would never be enough books To give my love for you its due You came into my life When the world looked so very, very dark And the first time that we met I knew in my life you would be a huge part I’ve never felt this depth of love I’ve never felt this joy And each morning as I awake, You’re there, my whole being to restore I hope that I can be to you The way you’ve been to me, so very real But it seems so unlikely that I could For your love has brought me to a place surreal To try and tell you in words how your love And kindness have taken my breath away And to express all these things and the depth of my love Would take a lifetime and a day. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 129
  • 131. Everlasting Love A Daughter Remembers (Even Though You Were Faraway) You’ve always been there for me A force that was so strong And though I rarely saw you I always knew that I belonged From all the things you’d taught me You gave me great insight And all the choices I had to make You were still a guiding light I knew that you were always there Whenever I needed your strength But the times that I could see you Stretched into greater length I felt an uncanny connection Even though you were faraway But I always felt we had plenty of time To see each other at times along the way How many times we’d spoken Of trips to visit we wanted to take Never thinking that these trips we’d planned You may never again be able to make One day I received a message That you only had a short time to live It reminded me of all the plans we’d made And that they were still left to be filled 131
  • 133. Everlasting Love How could your condition change so rapidly A man so vibrant until that night You even played golf the day before But you said you had already been shown heaven’s light Soon after they told me you only had a few hours And probably would not make it through the day I knew that loosing you would be a hard cross to bear I was so grateful we’d said as much as we could possibly say I thank God I took the time before you left To tell you how much you really meant To tell you I loved you each and every day Made me feel that our last days together were well spent When a loved one is leaving us And they only have a short time to live Take every chance that you can possibly find To give them all the love you can give. Deborah H. Collier * 2001 133
  • 135. Everlasting Love Stay As Free As You Are (LYRICS FROM AN UNSUNG SONG) Go from here to there and back again and never look behind Take with you a piece of our life in the memories of your mind Remember when you see me to wave as you pass by Because if you don’t I think that I might cry Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it I hope life and good friends will always treat you well And all your friends and family with pride can swell I know we’ll always keep in touch Try not to hurry, please don’t rush Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it You’ve got so much to experience and your whole life ahead of you And I hope you’ll be happy and love you’ll find in all you do Trust most people until they prove you wrong Remember it’s so important to always have a song Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it 135
  • 137. Everlasting Love You know a song can keep you free out there And because you know this you shouldn’t have many fears You’re such a beautiful person, a person with such good intentions And because of this I believe you’re someone who will often be mentioned Stay as free as you are, don’t change when you’re a star Stay as free as you are, you can do it, you know you can do it. Deborah H. Collier * 2010 137