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Getting real without getting fired

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Are important words often left unsaid at your place of work? Do you feel like you're navigating a complex maze in conversations? Does your message tend to miss the mark with co-workers, who increasingly seem to be impediments to reaching your goals? Are these unspeakable truths in your workplace that you wish someone would resolve for you?
Trust and communication issues within the workplace can hollow out an organization. Invisible lines get drawn. Alternate forms of communication open up to subvert perceived rivals. Allies are recruited, reinforcing an us vs. them behavior cycle. Organizations are suffering from a lack of trust, and it's costing them speed, productivity, and collaboration. What can YOU do about it?
Regardless of your title, you can be a leader in your organization, and a leader's first job is to inspire trust.

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Getting real without getting fired

  1. 1. Getting Real without Getting Fired SAYING THINGS IN A WAY PEOPLE CAN HEAR
  2. 2. Allison Pollard Agile Coach “My passion is helping people discover their agile instincts and develop their coaching abilities.”
  3. 3. Marcus King Architect, Technical Coach “It is truly inspiring to watch a group capable individuals become a coherent technical team.”
  4. 4. Activity I • Look around • Introduce yourself quickly • State whether or not you trust that person • Laugh awkwardly
  5. 5. Activity I Review •Was anyone universally trusted or not trusted? •How did you reach conclusions about others? •How did this impact your ability to be trusted? •Why do you think you are or are not being trusted? •How did you try to communicate trust?
  6. 6. Putting a Box Around Trust “TRUST IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF HUMAN MOTIVATION. IT BRINGS OUT THE VERY BEST IN PEOPLE.” – STEPHEN R. COVEY
  7. 7. What is Trust?
  8. 8. Low Trust Experiences “TRUST IS LIKE OXYGEN, YOU DON’T REALLY THINK ABOUT BREATHING, BUT ONCE YOU DON’T HAVE IT, YOU NOTICE IMMEDIATELY.” – STEPHEN R. COVEY
  9. 9. Perceptions Reinforce Behavior SHE DOES unchecked bad behaviors I SEE unchecked bad behaviors I DO unchecked bad behaviors SHE SEES unchecked bad behaviors
  10. 10. Direct Communication Is Key “THE SINGLE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN COMMUNICATION IS THE ILLUSION THAT IT HAS TAKEN PLACE.” – GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
  11. 11. Rebuilding Trust
  12. 12. Radical Candor RUINOUS EMPATHY MANIPULATIVE INSINCERITY RADICAL CANDOR OBNOXIOUS AGGRESSION CARE PERSONALLY CHALLENGE DIRECTLY
  13. 13. Activity II • Form small groups of 4 – 5 • 1 – 2 Observer • 1 Giver • 1 – 2 Receiver • Giver and Receiver(s) role play uncomfortable situations • Observer(s) provide feedback
  14. 14. Situation I • Chicken TEAM(S) DEATH MARCH TOWARDS A 6 MONTH DEADLINE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WILL BE MISSED IS FINALLY BUBBLED UP TO AN EXECUTIVE LEADER THE WEEK BEFORE THE DEADLINE TWIST: LEADER IS NOT HAPPY AND RIGHTFULLY WANTS TO KNOW WHY IT IS BEING BUBBLED UP AT THE LAST MINUTE RUINOUS EMPATHY MANIPULATIVE INSINCERITY RADICAL CANDOR OBNOXIOUS AGGRESSION CARE PERSONALLY CHALLENGE DIRECTLY
  15. 15. Situation II • The Cake is a Lie LEADERSHIP LETS GO A TEAM LEADER TO IMPROVE TEAM DYNAMICS AND MUST TELL THE TEAM AS PROJECT DEADLINE LOOMS. TWIST: A TEAM MEMBER GETS UPSET ABOUT THE LEAD BEING LET GO RUINOUS EMPATHY MANIPULATIVE INSINCERITY RADICAL CANDOR OBNOXIOUS AGGRESSION CARE PERSONALLY CHALLENGE DIRECTLY
  16. 16. Situation III • Trolls INTERRUPTING A HEATED DEBATE BETWEEN TEAM MEMBERS TO TRY TO TURN THE HEAT DOWN BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF HAND TWIST: THE TEAM MEMBERS BEGIN TO TURN ON YOU AS YOU TRY TO RATCHET DOWN THE ARGUMENT RUINOUS EMPATHY MANIPULATIVE INSINCERITY RADICAL CANDOR OBNOXIOUS AGGRESSION CARE PERSONALLY CHALLENGE DIRECTLY
  17. 17. Conclusion SHE DOES Respectful challenge I SEE Caring personally I DO Respectful challenge SHE SEES Caring personally START THIS CYCLE

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