Lessons learned to make things more fun, when things go wrong in Production

1. Disclaimer
• You might think this talk is about you or your
company
• It’s not
• We’ve all seen (and participated in) far
worse...

2. Disclaimer
• You might think this talk is about you or your
company
• It’s not
• We’ve all seen (and participated in) far
worse...
• I’m also still quite tired

5. Turning a Crisis into a Drama
‘Cos that makes it a lot more fun,
right?

7. 1. Crowd Around Anyone Who is
Typing

8. 1(a). Flap

9. 1(b). Shout

10. 1(c). Panic

11. 1(d). Best of All , Get Physical

12. 1(e). But at Least, Get Emotional

14. 2. Keep Information to Yourself

15. 2(a). Listen to Rumour

16. 2(b). Rely on Gossip

17. (Chinese Whispers Work
Excellently)

18. 2(c). Be Afraid to Say “I Don’t
Know”

19. 2(d). Never Admit When You’re
Wrong

20. 2(e). Or When Something May
Have Been Your Fault

21. 2(f). Blame, Blame, Blame

23. 3. Work Incredibly Long Hours

24. 3(a). Change as Much as Possible
Simultaneously

25. 3(b). Introduce Additional
Problems Whenever You Can

26. 3(c). Throw All Best Practice and
Process Out the Window

27. 3(d). Disrespect the Chain of
Command

28. 3(e). Don’t Protect Your People

30. 4. Find Statistics to Place a
Religious Level of Belief In

31. 4(a). Marvel at the Power of a
Dashboard and a Subset of Data