Unfinished Business The Movie will teach you how to climb the corporate ladder by slacking off. Want more advice from Unfinished Business? Check out our other decks here: http://www.slideshare.net/UnfinishedBusiness

1. HOW TO GET
AHEAD (WITHOUT
REALLY TRYING)
CLIMB THE CORPORATE LADDER BY SLACKING OFF
BROUGHT TO YOU BY

2. INTRODUCTION
• Get the maximum benefit out of
doing minimal work
• A simple cost-benefit analysis
proves that slackers can fulfill their
obligations while maintaining a
stress-free existence
• The steps required to achieve this kind of life involves a dedicated
regime of deceit, disappearing, devious deeds, and obviously,
drinking
• In short: we’re going to help you climb the corporate ladder by
slacking off

3. THE KEY TO LOOKING BUSY
• Look around. The stressed out workers are the ones getting the most
work done. You can be just like them (without the stress or work) with
these simple tips:
Top Tips
 Use your computer to look busy. IM’ing with your friends? TYPE AS
HARD AS YOU CAN. Angry typing = URGENT WORK BEING DONE
 Keep a messy desk. Huge piles of important documents means
you are important
 Look annoyed. Roll your eyes when someone says they’re busy.
Be impatient and angry with underlings
 Leave the office late. Stream movies or TV shows at your desk,
restructure your fantasy football league – just hang in there until
your boss has officially left the building

4. WHY CARRY YOUR OWN WEIGHT
WHEN SOMEONE CAN CARRY YOU?
• Group projects are a gift from the Slacker
Gods, provided they stopped smoking pot
to actually dole out presents
• There’s no better way to get ahead than
teaming up with an over-achieving control
freak who cannot – and WILL NOT –
delegate or collaborate on projects
• Ignore check-ins, deadlines and group
communications. Your Type A group leader
will immediately take on your workload
• Take the lead ONLY when it’s time to
present to your client or boss. Bold
presenters will receive 75% of the credit,
89% of the time
Type A
perfectionist
Brilliant but shy
introvert
Smartass who’s
dead weight
The total
incompetent
THE FOUR TYPES OF PEOPLE
FOUND ON A GROUP PROJECT

5. • Want to really get ahead? Put your true college experience to work and get
buzzed with the big shots
• A majority of men report that social bonding time occurs within the context of
alcohol and positive mood increases in exclusively in male groups
• 70-80% of job openings aren’t posted
publicly; which means you’ll hear more about
potential positions over your third round than
you will on LinkedIn
• 84% of people do business primarily with
people they know and like
• In short: get drunk, make friends, and get
that title bump, corner office, and inflated
salary that you totally don’t deserve!
Libations of
Successful CEOs
Bourbon
19%
Scotch
34%
Beer
27%
Vodka
20%
Wine
2%
“NETWORKING” IS CODE FOR
PROFESSIONAL DRINKING

6. IT’S ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION:
SELF-PROMOTING WHILE REPLYING ALL
• 73% of business experts advise that you should only “reply all” if you
have something useful to add and/or a definitive answer to the email
in question
• Not true! To look like an enthusiastic member of the team, click that
“reply all” to reply to:
• A notice about found panties in the men’s bathroom
• Emails soliciting personal preferences (on food, company
events, birthday cards and sexual innuendos)
• Anything you’re BCC’d on (to embarrass whomever sent it)
Warning: “Replying All” is a dangerous tool and is for expert-level
slackers only. Misuse will result in a serious CLM (career-limiting move)

7. SUMMARY
1. Drink and be personable
2. Fake anger and surf the Internet
3. Mooch off others
Now you’re three weeks away from running
your company like a boss
Ready, set, slack.

8. You’re Welcome.