Far away from Eden, Ep. 7.3.: Mission: Subplot!
Description: Chapter 7.3. of my apocalegacy: Agents! Villains! Battles! Explosions! - 007, eat your heart out!
Family Name: Zombie III
Lot Name: zombini
Categories: Komoedie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire
Mission report 001, Agent Snuggles:
Have succesfully passed the borders of my
own neighborhood, the 'Bearly alive'-
apocalypse and reached the 'Far away
from Eden'-vampogacy. Its a strange
feeling, that I now exist in this
neighborhood as well as in my own... or
that this neighborhood works under even
harsher conditions - better known as
legacy handicaps, as high command told
me - and a different flow of time,
according to the previous chapters
publishing dates... with that speed, I
might still be alive, if my other 'me'
already bit the dust...
~ Agent Snuggles, with the license to
squeal, courtesy of Blueberrypie360 at
www.boolprop.com, from his 'Bearly alive
apocalypse' - thanks again for letting me
borrow her!~ - rules for the legacy and
apocalypse challenge at
ATTENTION: This chapter is
subplotintensive, knowledge of the
previous chapters is strongly required...
sorry, one day, I'll make a Recap,
... but philosophical questions aside, I'm
here now, and I have to fulfill a mission:
rescue the creator of this neighborhood,
Little Nemo, and stop the evil forces here
before they become a threat to other
realms. (sidenote: look for any connection
between the evil forces and any activities
of the weazel!)
So far, I've gathered the following infos:
1. the apocalypse of this neighborhood was
caused by vampires instead of a nuclear
explosion / Official Leader of the
vampires: the Count (Name?), the
Countess (dismissed?), Uranium
Apocalypso (Ephemeraltoast's Apocalypse
2. The Family destined to end it, are the
Eden's / Founder: Anais Eden
(Dryad/Robot-Hybrid, actually born in
the biblical garden Eden)
3. The Simself's Lair in this neighborhood
is a former prison (allies?/enemies?)
4. The Simself Sonicdude (vanished?)
brought a horde of zombies (threat?) over.
/ Current leader: Don Zombie (Candies
5. Grilled cheese with thuna, strawberry
marmalade and jelly is NOT a good
... Mission report 001, second entry:
Met my first contact: as high command
stated, the pets and wolves of this
neighborhood have agreed to support this
rescue mission - it seems, there was a deal,
that they'll get a werewolf empire in
Communication was of course difficult,
but thankfully, I know how to speak
wolfish - secret double-0 agents know
everything, after all...
... according to my contact, there was a
meeting of evildoers from all realms at the
Counts castle (note: one of them: Malcolm
Landgraab IV relation to
MichelleFobbs 'A planetary
apocalypse'?), where he secretly snuck in
he also said (growled), that he acquired a
distant scent of old seaweed... seaweed
scuba helmet Little Nemo... seems like
a first trace.
Mission report 001 end.
Mission report 002:
For further investigations, I had decided
to try the direct approach - go to the
castle, look after more traces - but the
research came to a halt after I found out
... the castle is closed! A brief
interrogation of the servants (-->familiar
appearance- haven't I seen them before
anywhere?) led to the shocking
conclusion, that I'm not the only one, who
crossed the borders of my own
neighborhood - apparently, the Apoca-
Servo 8x8 came here as well, and closed
down the whole lot due to diverse rule-
breakings until further notice (
Unfortunately, I couldn't gather more
information about the evil forces current
location. The servants actually don't seem
to care at all, and I decided not to dug in
deeper, regarding their boredom, the grave
stones on the walkway and the lack of
other passer-by's in this area...
Still, the question remains: where are
they? (the evil guys, not the passer-by's, I
Mission report 002 end.
" gnrghn... a minor setback, none of
your concern, I..."
" Aww, come on, Uranium, tell
him...it was hilarious! I especially
liked the part, when 8x8 made you eat
" Julia, if you don't shut up, I swear,
I'll rip of your head and shove it...!!"
" Ooooh, evil alien Who-lost-fight-
against-servo is threatening me, I'm so
"... uh, hello? Ma, I'm sorry, that that
happened to you... but, you see, my
hideout isn't that big, I don't think,
that you and your friends will all fit in
"pfft... typical... there I nursed you,
raised you and feed you, and if your
poor mommy just asks for a little
"Ma, you actually never took any real
interest in me..."
"...whatever. Now, are you going to let
us in, or do I have to...?"
" Hey, evildoers, Malcolm Landgraab
IV here... question: do you really want
to follow an ugly alien, who lost
against a stupid machine - no offense,
Megatron - got thrown out of her own
castle and has now to sneak into her
stupid son's tiny shack... or do you
rather prefer to party with a great guy
like me, in his huge mansion, with lots
of space and all the booze you want?"
" *sigh* here we go again... Malcolm,
your pityful attempts to undermine
my evil leadership are useless... none
of us is interested into your..."
" In fact, I am."
" H-Hey, who said that, who...?"
" Count me in."
" Me too."
" And me, there was anything in the
contract, that we have to follow this
frogface, no matter, what..."
" Sorry, Uranium, the mayority has
spoken...are you coming too, Larch?"
"Aw, man, Rhys... is that really
necessary? See, I liked the fact, how
eeevil our little coalition was... and I
didn't had so much screen time till
now, and being with Malcolm don't
"Okay, your decision... I currently
have to star in an apocalypse myself
already, so why should I bother to
appear here anymore...?"
" YOU... YOU POTTY-GODDAMN
TRAITORS! COME BACK! I'LL
WARN YOU, I'LL...!"
" Hahahahaha... wow, this gets better
and better... first the fight with the
servo, and now... Uranium, please
stop, my tummy already hurts from
all the laughter..."
" Julia, please leave her alone, okay?...
and Ma, perhaps you should look at
the bright side of this: there is enough
room now, if it's only you and Leach
and... are you staying too, Julia? I
mean, aren't you sided with Malcolm
in MIchelle's apocalypse, so...?"
" And miss the 'Uraniums
" We are staying as well."
" You too?... hmmm, okay, I'll guess, I
can buy another bed... but about a
coffin for you, Larsee..."
Don't worry, I won't need one, I'm
immune to sunlight...
" For me just a comfy, impressive
looking chair, if possible..."
" Okay Ma, your guests are cared for...
now, how long do you actually intend
" As I said, nothing of your concern,
boy... and just for the record: who is
that crying kid locked in there?"
" Ehr, that's your grandson, Mom...."
"... Oh, really? Ah yes, totally forgot...
Pooper's his name, right?"
" Booger, Mom..."
" Yes, something stupid... so why is he
" Well, because Daddy is really mad at
him at the moment... You hear me,
Booger? I told you to not interfere
with Daddies business, but did you
listen to me? And to think, that I even
needed to pay a lot of money to get
you back from the orphanage, just to
get a better grip of you...."
" I... I HATE YOU, DAD!"
" Hey, now that's really rude, son..."
" And it won't work, Dad, do you hear
me? Beth will never accept you, and
just wait, if I tell Mum, what you did
"... uhm, Booger, if I buy you your
favorite ice-cream later, would you
stay silent in front of Mommy?“
" I'll never...Ice-cream? Oh, yes, me
wanna, me wanna...."
".... you know, I'm currently not in the
mood for anymore stupidities today,
but - what - exactly - the - hell - are
you talking about?"
" Ehrm... well, Ma, you see, I have this
little project here running, which..."
" Haven't I told you after the desaster
with the gypsies and the 'comb' guy,
to stay out of my scheming?! I don't
need rivals here and... oh, this
" Ma, it's just a little project... and in
fact, it will even help your case, Ma..."
" I'm almost afraid to ask... but:
" Well, Ma, do you remember the
time, when we still lived in our own
apocalypse? Short before the end, I
tried to reverse it again, to grand us
apocalyptical power forever..."
" Yes, you're never really bright...."
"... anyway, as you remember, I tried
to use the power of an Alien-vampire-
zombie... a black sheep, as Pinstar
called it... and I thought, me, as the
son of a grand vampire and an Alien,
with a zombie as wife... well, I could
procreate one...didn't work out quite
well, cause you didn't tell me, that Mr.
Big was in fact my father..."
" Come to the point already!"
" Already there... see, Ma, one of the
heiress children, Bethany Eden, is in
fact my child... and now look at her
family tree... her Great-grandmother
was a Dryad, that's like a Plantsim,
her Great-Grandfather's a robot, and
her mother is a vampire now... not to
forget, you're her Alien
Grandmother... oh, and her other
Grandmother slept in a time capsule
for a few milennia, like dead, so she's
kind of a zombie..."
" ... Stop! You're not trying to tell me,
" Yes Ma, project 'Beth' is my new try
to get a black sheep this time... isn't it
" Plutonium... I don't know, why you
turned out this way... at least it's not
my fault... but you're already past the
point of 'evil' Madness, this is just
'crazy' Madness... you seriously need
" Ma, I'm dead serious about this...
and look at the results, Beth is
perfect...well, almost, she's just a bit
"...but I'm already trying to change
that... with the help of subconscious
influence, for example. You see, Ma,
as a toddler, I made the potty speak to
" Stop! What do you mean, 'Made the
potty speak to her'?"
" Well, I created a little program here,
hacking the Sims 2 main program of
this neighborhood, to get temporary
" Hold the press! You mean, you
actually control this game?!"
" Only to a certain degree... but I'm
getting better... for example, when
Booger tried to sneak to the lot, to tell
them about my plan, I blocked the
path by causing errors on the lot to..."
" Okay, now you have my interest...
show me, how you take control...“
"Uhm, okay, here we go..."
Legacy Lot, fourth floor, now:
" Happy Birthday, dear!"
" Good start into your teenage time,
spawn of ev... I mean, of my
sister...well, it's not that different..."
" Sorry, Dad..."
" Yay, I'm still pretty!"
" Of course you are, dear!"
" Well Dad, actually it would be a
little miracle... especially her nose..."
" Young man, elder or not, if you wont
shut...I'll bend you over my knee!"
"Okay, okay... nobody likes an honest
" Oh, little one, I'm so proud of you...
you've become such a nice lady..."
" Yes, and I fear for the worst, with
" Dad, is it okay, if I kill this old hag
" No... but you're allowed to give your
little brother a few noogies now..."
" *Giggle* Oh, come on, mom, it's my
birthday, no fighting... and uncle
Tony, just because I became a
teenager, doesn't mean, I'll turn evil
now... at least not, if you shorten my
study time, okay?"
" See, as I prophesized, spawn of ev...
" You never saw 'me' become really
" Hello-Ho, Birthday!! Me!!"
"... sorry dear... now, since we still
can't buy a birthday cake or call a
'real' party, since it's not tuesday...
well, is there anything you wish for?"
" Oh boy, a wish...!... hmm, you know,
what I really wish for is..."
" Hey, babe, your turn with the balls...
hehehe, I said 'balls'..."
" What the... who are you?!"
" Ehrr... your date?"
" My what?!"
"Date!...come on, don't play shy now...
you know, usually I don't do this
crazy stuff, like going out with a babe,
that is still in her pyjamas when
" W-wait! Let me get this right: I asked
you out while I was...?"
" Yeah, at your grandparent's
business. Actually, I don't really like it
there, if it weren't for the 'bubble
blow'... hehehe, I said 'blow'..."
" Ehrr, mister... whatever your name
is, but there seems to be a
misunderstanding, I don't remember,
"...why do I suddenly think, that
despite being an obvious jerk, you're a
really good kisser?"
" Ehrr, thanks, I think... I actually had
a lot practise... I mean.."
" Aw, shush... let's make out!"
" Wow, if that's the new customer
service for your business... then I'm a
" Uggg... I- can't believe, I did that... I
mean, I don't even know that jerk, and
still... and on top of that, I only wore
pyjamas... where the heck am I, by the
" Ehrr, excuse me, sir... Uh, can you
tell me,where I am...?... I mean, which
"... is that a trick question?"
" No, no, honestly, where am I..? I
only remember, I was at home,
celebrating my birthday, and now..."
"... well, girl, this is the King's Hide
"Oh, thank you, sir... now, how did I
get to the King's Hide suddenly... with
"... uh, I don't know... hey, do I know
'you' somewhere? You look vaguely
"... well, perhaps, I'm Bethany Eden
from the Eden family, I guess, a lot of
people know us..."
" Yes, that could be possible... but
there's something else... but I just can't
put my finger on it..."
" I'm sorry sir, but I have to go home
now, something's happened, and I
if anyone doesn't recognize him, that's
Mr. Big - Downtowns rich playboy,
without his red jacket only half impressive
- aannd, he was actually a spouse in
and the father of Plutonium Apocalypso,
which makes him... Bethany's
" Who... oh, uncle Tony, I'm so glad,
" Not as glad, as your Mom will be...
girl, I understand, that you wanted to
make a wish, but run off like this...
okay, it's not my problem, who you
spend your time with during
business, but in pyjamas...?"
" *Ggggh*... Uncle, I don't know, what
happened, I don't remember anything,
" Beth, calm down... I already feared,
something like this would happen... I
even wished, you'd only turn out to
be a money-greedy b... like your mom
used to be..."
" Uncle, I don't understand...?"
" *Sigh* Beth... you're a Romance Sim
now, so no wonder that..."
" What? I have.... a romance
"... let's just go home, Beth, okay?"
... I can't believe it... me, a romance Sim?
okay, I've heard of strange cases of
aspiration, but... still, I had hoped, I'd
become a family Sim like Brian, or at least
popularity, like Bea, but romance...?
...Besides, even for a romance Sim, I don't
think, it's normal to date a guy right after
your birthday in pyja...'hey, that guy
over there has a really nice a...'
... hey! Wait a minute! What am I doing
here? That weren't my thoughts! That...
that was someone else! Hey, who is there?
Why are you doing this to me? Who are
" Upps... guess, that was a bit too
fast... but you see, mom, I've got
everything under control, and soon I
will have a perfect..."
" Yeah, yeah, blah, blah... you know, I
don't really care, if you want to play
with life-sized puppets or dolls...but
why you think, that turning this
goody-twoshoes into a... will make
her evil, is beyond me..."
" Aw, for potty-gods sake, ma, don't
you get it?! Her heritage, the voices in
her childhood, her aspiration... that's
why you turned evil, too!! 'You' were
the child of an ugly alien in a rather
nice family... well, a
nice dysfunctional family, 'you' were
raised under the potty gods influence,
'you' became a luscious romance sim...
that's, what I'm trying to do, turning
her into a... a spitting image of you,
combined with the power of a black
sheep, a Super-'You', so to say!"
" Plutonium Apocalypso, I've heard a
lot of stupid things already, but this
one, this one tops everything! Do you
think, I'm 'evil' just because it was
mother nature's fault? I'm evil because
I want to! Does that go into your tiny
brain?! This... this skank is even worse
" I don't care! Damn, I've seen teddy
bears, who were more evil then your
" Now just wait a minute, Ma! Okay, I
admit, she didn't turn out quite the
evil person, but that's just because of
her stupid family! They aren't as
dysfunctional as we Apocalypso's
were, but it's still in her blood..!"
"... and what happened with this
blood, I can see when I look at you... a
"... I'M NOT A FAILURE! STOP
CALLING ME A FAILURE, MA!
" You dare to yell at your mother, you
Loser?! TAKE THAT!"
*SLAP* *SLAP* *SLAP*
" OOOOOWEEEEH! "
*Snif* *Snif* " Ma, that's soooo
" 'Evil', remember? Now stop your
whining, boy, and let mom take over
Dear Brother Brian,
Bethany here. How's it going at Uni? I
think, I'll join you and Beatrice next
tuesday...but you don't have to throw a
party for me, no, not at all!
By the way: I turned into a romance sim -
but don't think, I'm now totally romance
or so, I mean, look at Bea: she's
popularity, but acts like a knowledge Sim,
just to make her, I mean, 'our', father
proud beyond the grave...
...anyway, I'm still under Uncle's Tony's
merciless watch, studying my butt off for
college... and here I thought, I should
learn something in college, not already
know everything before...
... and to keep up my power via
Dating/Outing, I've got a boyfriend...
well, it's actually Bea's former boyfriend -
hey, Uncle Tony did the same with his
older brothers girlfriend, as Mom told me,
so why not me?
I also got a job in the education track -
yep, by Uncle Tony's advice - keeping an
eye on the kiddies of the local orphanage...
sadly, Booger isn't there anymore, I hope,
he was adopted by a nice family outside
... oh, and while downtown, I did some
digging here and there... just for fun,
... yep, life is good to me... only thing that
still bothers me, is this whole 'romance'
thing... it's actually a bit weird, if random
strangers start to swoon over you... I
mean, I'm flattered, but... naw, don't
wanna think about it...
... and for the rest of the family, it's still
the same: Grandma, -pa and Mom - and
Mr. Wood of course, are still sleeping
during the day, and at night... seriously, I
wish, my grandparents were at least a bit
older and senile, instead of making out the
whole... well, and Mom just wrote her
third novel, something about 'Never trust
guys without noses' or so... oh, and Uncle
Tony spent the whole night at the
bedroom, just to be scared by 'Dad' over
and over... Knowledge Sims are weird...
... I mean, how many people start fighting
with werewolf's - like Gage Uglacy - just
to become a Werewolf, too? Still, it was
funny, though Uncle Tony was really
angry afterwards, because he won every
fight, but never became a werewolf,
... oh, oh, oh, but I nearly forgot the most
important thing... Grandpa's and -ma's
latest procreation, uncle Jun, grew up
today! Despite it's strange to have an
uncle younger than you, it's still a nice
feeling not to be the youngest in this
... and uncle Jun is such a sweet toddler...
just a bit... well, mean... yesterday, he
threw his bottle right in my face - OW! -
and then I had to change his diapers and...
EWWWWW! Grandma says, he comes
right after his older brother... I guess,
she's means uncle tony, because uncle
Alex was always described as nice and
... okay, that's all wrapped up so far... I'll
tell you more, if I join you next tuesday...
and don't forget, no party for me at all,
I'd like to inform you, that your brother
has received your message and really
enjoyed reading it. Sadly, a little...
accident - more about that later -
prohibited it, that he could answer you
personally, so I'm doing it on his explicit
wish. You don't have to fear, that my
knowledge of your last letters content will
affect my sisterly love towards you,
despite your... opinion about my
personality. After all, younger sisters or
brothers always tend to have jealousy
tendencies towards their older siblings...
still, it might please you to hear, that my
perspectives have changed a bit in the last
... since I became a rather popular
acapella/playback singer among the
zombies and vampires in this
neighborhood... you've probably heard
about my success. Still, I don't see myself
as a celebrity, just as someone, who likes
to sing, be it on big stages...
... or just occasionally downtown, to pay
the rent for our college house...
...which grew quite a bit in the meantime,
granting you and the following
generations all the comfort for ongoing
... still, the current struggle between
studying, concerts, not to forget guiding
our Uni business downtown and of course
the constant trouble with the broken-down
phonelines made me realize, that I had
to... redefine some of my goals.... like my
deepest wish, to break the record our
grandmother set in college by achieving
130 best friends...
... because a short calculation after my
small success of having achieved 100
'normal' friends for at least a period of
two hours, 36 minutes, showed me, that it
was impossible to keep this up any longer,
or even expand it... so I had to bury my
dreams for this... you see, my life isn't
better at all, jealousy is not necessary...
... but I guess, you're now interested to
hear, why our brother couldn't reply to
you personally... you see, while I was on
tour, Brian befriended a member of the
animal population of our neighborhood, a
wolf... of course, since he attended the role
of the 'nice nerd', a tendency to get closer
to vampires, aliens or werewolfs seemed
Anyway, this event had a deep impact on
Brian's mood, after he acknowledged the
consequences... over time now, his nice
and shy personality will fade away,
leaving him as a 0/10/10/10/0 character,
who'll be mean to others, eat out of
trashcans, lose the ability to meditate,
transform any night with a hunger drop...
truly a rather gruesome fate in an
Since he already started to show first
signs, he asked me to answer your letter
this time, to avoid any mean language
towards you. I hope, this letter suits his
wishes, and therefore I conclude with my
best wishes and gratitude to you, little
sister, happily awaiting you soon here at
Nemo's house... I mean here...:
Poor Brian... when I stroke the deal with
pets last chapter about a werewolf empire
in exchange for help, I didn't thought,
that they'd choose him as their..
'founder'... well, can't do anything about
that anymore... well let's see, if the deal
has brought me any results as well...
Agent Flea, can you hear me?
- *** -
Hello-ho, doubleganger to outpost Gieke,
Agent Flea, where are you?
- *** -
...great, now I get it... ehem... 'Bark barrk
' Bark, Claf, Groowl'
Finally... and yes, I know, my dogspeak
isn't good, Agent Flea, so what? Now,
any signs of the Countess?
- *** -
... I give up, better go look for myself...
... ah, looks like she's there...
"...and you're sure, this works,
" Absolutely sure, Countess. In fact I
knew it, because I sent myself a letter
through time today and already have
received it yesterday..."
" That sounds sligtly... paradox..."
" Well, that's the matter with time
travel, cause and outcome don't rely
on each other anymore..."
"Okay, forget that I asked... all I need
is to sent one person to the past to end
all this here..."
" Well, that's exactly the way, this
device is built... you know, it's
actually a 'reversed Hibernation
Chamber'... I mean, usually persons
are put into hibernation, to awake at a
later time in the future. This chamber
works in the other direction instead,
you wake up in the past, it's..."
...hey, I know that chamber, isn't that...?
"hm, hm, okay, whatever... so the only
thing I have to do, is to hop in, set the
timer, and wake up earlier, right?"
" Correct, Countess... oh, and I've
already set the timer short before the
vampocalypse started, so you can
easily thwart the Counts plans, before
he... oh, and please take care, that my
parents get together, so I can be born,
so I can build the time machine, so
your younger self can later..."
" Ugh, stop it, this whole time talk
makes my brain freeze... "
" Countess, that's important, time
traveling is already dangerous
enough, luckily, such a small jump
through time shouldn't cause to
" Who said, that I want to take just a
as I said: what?
" Yes you've heard right, I want the
timer to be set at least... well, six-
thousand years back should be
" six-thou... why?"
" To end all this, of course... and by all,
I mean all!"
" I... I don't understand..."
" *Sigh*, okay, since I feel a bit
nostalgic today... You've heard of the
Eden family here in this
neighborhood, especially the founder,
" Well, of course, everyone did that,
their counter army has freed the grip
of the Count on this neighborhood
and they restored the school system,
not to forget..."
" So you've heard of her, great...
perhaps that she also claimed, she's
from the garden eden?"
" Uhm... yes I think, I've read
something about that... her daughter
wrote a biography of..."
For anyone else, who didn't read the
biography, watch episode 4 again ;)
"...yeah, anyway, than I guess, you
also read, how she broke up with 'her'
"... uhm, yes... but to be honest, I
didn't pay much interest to the story...
I mean, I'm a man of science, and the
proofs of geological and
paleonthological researches clearly
" Believe me, it is true! I must know it,
I was there!"
" You... but how...?"
" Hello, Vampire? Immortal? Though I
have to admit, I looked different at
" ...I rather looked... this way!"
" You're a... demon?"
" Yep, born in hell, destined to seduce
and pummel mortals yadda, yadda
yadda... the usual stuff... and to make
it clear: 'I' was HIS first girlfriend, not
this green Servo-girl, and HE didn't
cheat on her with me, but on me with
....ooookay, this even surprises me... when
did the 'real' Nemo came up with such a
"...and why do you want to...?"
" I'll come to that later...but I guess,
even a nerd like you understands that
I was really [censored], and after she
roughed him up first, I gave him some
final words about being honest and
"...ehr, if you're a demon, doesn't that
" Even demons have limits, okay?!!"
" Anyway, if I wasn't already
[censored], I would've been after his
reaction... this [censored, censored,
censored, censored etc.] bit me!!"
" He bit you?"
" Well, HE was snake after all... and
snakes tend to have teeths..."
"... and thus, the first vampire - me -
" You're the first vampire?"
" Yep... and don't start with the whole
'but I thought, Simcula was the first...',
it becomes old!"
" But how can a snake turn you into
" How many demons bitten by a
snake-like being do you know except
"... ... and what happened then?"
"Oh, nothing much, I just burned
" Hey, this little skank still stole my
boyfriend, and while she drank
herself unconscious... besides, I'm a
demon...at least I was, so why should
I be rational about these things? "
"... too bad, that this little runt
somehow managed to escape the fire...
would have been fun to watch her
"... you know, I'm now really
interested reading this biography
again... but I thought, that she was the
one who caused the...?"
" If she thinks that, even better for
me... at least I have a partial revenge
"... and how you ended up then as....?"
" Oh, that's the most boring part of the
story... see, after that, since I was
unable to return to hell - at least not as
one of the pain bringers instead of the
sufferers - I spent the yearthousands
on earth, saw humanity grow - and it
wasn't a pretty sight, believe me - ..."
"...and now and then I made some of
them my own... just for fun, or when I
was extremely bored..."
"... but then I met the Count...Count...
bah, I even forgot his real name... well,
and we got married..."
" You're married??"
" Got divorced after three days...
actually, I just wanted to become a
noble... I mean, 'Countess', that
sounds impressive... to be honest, I
was also a queen one time, but then
the kingdom was conquered, so I..."
" If you're divorced, why didn't you
stay with him?"
"Let's say, I discovered this guy to be a
threat to humanity..."
"... especially the female one... I
usually wouldn't care about that an
inch, but... well, you saw, what he did
to that neighborhood, just to impress...
and believe me, this wasn't his
weirdest plan till now... one day, he
tried to let the moon collide with the
earth just to write his confession of
"... but hey, why should I rant about
that any further? Soon, this'll be
history... or should I call that future?"
" Wait, wait, wait... you're not telling
me, you want...?"
" Yes, I want to go back... and I mean,
really back... back to eden, to kill this
servo-girl... or HIM... or both, heck,
why should I care... so my boring life
will never happen... hopefully, this
time my younger me will have a
" Countess... you... you're crazy! You
can't do that! This... this might cause a
time paradox that could destroy
" Bla, bla, bla... I don't care... see, either
it works, or the whole world blows
up... and I already lived for
yearthousands, I'm sick of it... I can
only win this way."
this is SO not good...
"... I won't let you do this, Countess!"
" *sigh*... Albert, as I said, after I killed
"... YOU AND WHICH ARMY?!
... okay, now I'm really at the edge of my
seat... if this wasn't already an apocalypse
story, it would be now... hello, any
helping angels out there, I'm in dire need
of one just now...!
" *Beep*, Greetings, humans..."
"...*Beep*please don't mind me, you
can continue with your current social
interaction, but I have to inform you,
that this house breaks the politics
restriction, I have to apoca-fy it, *Sirr*
and then my sensors have detected
further rulebreaking items inside this
" *Click*... found first object: dance
sphere, breaking the athletics
restriction, must be confiscated...
*Vrrrm*... found second object...
ERROR, ERROR... not identifiable
object... conclusion, illegal hacked
item... immediate removal from this
neighrborhood, preparing 'destroy'
" H... Hey, you... you iron head, stay
away from the time travel thing, that's
my entry to a better life..."
" *Beep*... 'stay away', command not
acknowledged... only Blueberrypie360
has exclusive command parameters to
this unit, continue 'destroy' option..."
" I don't care, you Metallic Golem! For
the last time: stay away, or I'll shove a
screwdriver up your... well, whatever
you have for an..."
" *Click* Danger, Danger - Red Alert!
Red Alert! Initiating defense
"...have to get away, have to get
" OH, YOU...!"
" *Beep* ATTACK *BEEP* ATTACK! "
... why is it, that whereever this robot
appears, a fight breaks out...? Though
right now, I hope he wins...
"Okay, that's it, both of you...!"
... heaven, what now?
"... you're both dead now, you hear
me?! Nobody causes a time paradox
here or vandalizes my parents house,
I'm fed up with this... X-Term 01,
destroy them... destroy them all!"
" *BEEP*, *BEEP* Danger, Danger...
second opponent... main circuit
override... =0X3%&$...bad data...
" *Wheez*, *Pfew*... what the... is
" In short: your doom, Countess...and
this strange Servo too, once X-Term 01
is finished with him... but to be more
precise: you asked me, which army I
had to stop you... well, that's him: a
one-man-army combat droid based on
nanites , designed to adapt to any
environment, battle any opponent and
even evolve with growing
experience... the ultimate battle
"Oookay... tell you what, we call it a
tie, hm? So, I... just lay myself down
here, and later we talk about
everything, like civilized people..."
" H-Hey, stay away from the chamber,
"Upps, what did you say? I can't hear
you, the slapping is so loud... sorry,
but I need my good-night sleep
[insert ear-deafening noises of
slapping and bone-crunching here]
... ... the best thing I have to say, is that
I'm certainly slipping into insanity right
now... this whole story has become
insane... Demon-vampires, time-travel
hibernation chambers, Servos, robots...
I'm really not sure anymore, if it would be
a good thing, to find the 'real' Nemo...
... *sigh* wasn't it obvious, now the phone
is ringing... 'Yes, hello, here headquarter
for insane stories and subplots gone
"Hello, High Command? Is that you?"
'What? Agent Snuggles, is that you?'
" Yes, Agent Snuggles here... can I
speak with High Command, please?"
'Ehrm, sorry, now it's not a good time...
but I'm High Command's representant...
kinda... what's the matter, Agent?'
" I need immediate back-up over
here... something weird happens!"
'...why am I not surprised... what's your
" Landgraab Manor, Bluewater
'Landgrabb...?...hey, that's right over the
street to the Gieke residence... you know,
agent, there is something I could need
your help for...'
" I'm sorry, but I have problems of my
own, that's why I'm calling for
'Oh, sorry, totally forgot... okay, so, why
are you actually there, agent?'
" I followed a rumor, that Malcolm
Landgraab IV was holding a party for
all the evil-doers of this neighborhood
tonight, so I hoped, I could gather
more traces of the missing creator of
this neighborhood by sneaking in...
sadly, Uranium Apocalypso didn't
seem to show up, so it was a dead
'Wait, you sneaked in? Into a party of
guys, who kill good guys for a living?
How did they even let you in, let alone
" Oh, I disguised myself as
bloodthirsty, stealthy ninja-assassin
from the far east..."
'And they actually believed tha... ?... no,
scratch that question, let me guess: your
cover is blown, and you need rescue,
" Wrong, nobody has a clue... but right
now, something else is happening..."
'... and what exactly is that, Agent?'
" I... don't know..."
" Well, it's not a visible danger... it's
rather a feeling... a feeling, as if
something is going to..."
'What the...was that?? and... hey, Agent
Snuggles? Are you still there? Hello,
Agent, coming Agent, please coming!'
... what happened here...?
'Oh my... oh shoot, I'm agnostic... but
still... ...and even worse: what should I tell
Blueberry, if he realizes, that Agent
Snuggles... and it seems, 8x8, too... well,
but at least one problem less to worry,
hopefully it got the Countess, too...'
'... though I somehow have a slight idea,
what happened at the GIeke residence... or
better, how at least one of these guys could
escape this inferno... strange, why does
the expression 'tie lose ends up...' come to
my mind suddenly...?...
but still: What - happened - there??!'
Legacy lot, a short time before:
"Good bye dear... I already miss you!"
" *Snif*, me too, Mommy..."
" Bye, Beth!"
" have fun in College, Honey... oh, and
greet your brother and sister from
me... and tell Bea, I'm proud of her,
that she got at least 100 friends
together... hey, I've currently rolled a
want again to have at least 10 friends,
so my record isn't that impressive..."
"Okay, will do, Grandma..."
" Yes, and don't forget to take your
lessons seriously, Beth... after all, I
desgined the new curriculum
" Yessir, uncle Tony, sir!"
"Oh, it feels soooo hard... somebody
has glued my feet to the walkway, I
guess... aw, come on, Bethany, you'll
be back soon enough... new
experience are waiting for ya, put on a
"... where... where am I?"
" Annnnd.... BANG! HA, that'll teach
them... no one, no one betrays
Uranium and survives, you hear
me??! Oh, yes, you can't, you're all
" Wow, Ma, that's... that's impressive, I
didn't know, that this was possible, I
" Hey, if there is anything I know,
than it's how to be evil... but you've
made quite an impressive hacking
program here, son... seems like you
aren't such a complete idiot as I
" Oh, thank you Ma... I guess..."
" And now to our special guest for
tonight... Hello, dear!"
" Hm... well, she surely has a
remarkable voice organ... might be
helpful for an evil laughter later..."
" D...don't come near me... I know
carate, teak-sim-do and a dozen other
martial arts... well, I read about them
in books, I mean..."
" *sigh*, well, at least it's a start... too
bad, that honesty isn't a real killer or I
would be dead by now... "
" Oh, oh, Ma, can I do this? The
shocking truth thing? Oh please,
" Pfft... if it makes you happy... you're
lucky, that I'm currently out of ideas,
so I might as well try your 'plan'..."
" Thanks, Ma... well, hello, Bethany,
" Y... yes... and you are...are you...
" Yes, that's right... and I guess, you
already know my mother, Uranium?"
" W... what do you want from me?"
" I'm coming to that right now...
" I... am... your father!!!!
" Ha, I knew it! I knew it, he'd say
*sigh* okay, I lost... but I really thought,
he wouldn't use that corny phrase, It's so,
" Young padawan, never
underestimate the power of the dark
... I'm not your padawan, wrinkleface, I'm
my own master, is that clear?!
" *Gulp*, *Crunch*, *Mrmmbl*... but
she's right, this phrase is soo
yesterday... by the way, Julia, what're
you doing now... I mean, weren't you
" First of all Larch, don't speak with a
full mouth, second, yes, I worked with
Malcolm, but only for my own
amusement, nothing more, so no
harm done, and third, you, of all
persons should know the primary rule
" They'll always be back?"
"Uh, Hello, everything okay? I know,
this must a mind-boggling experience
for you, but..."
" Shut up, I'm busy..."
" You're... busy?"
"...I'm busy with the decision, if I
should scream 'NOOOOOOO' now, or
rather bite off my tongue than to give
you the satisfaction of the most
overused dialogue in the galaxy,
- to be continued -
- Epilogue: somewhere outside Bluewater
"Uhhh...my head... what happened? I
just remember this big light, and
" Aww, my love..."
"... In all the countless - 'not count-less'
- years of my existence, I've never met
... great, here we go again... to be... oh,
you know already...