Far away from Eden ep. 3.1.: Bites and Business
Chapter 3, Part 1 of my Apocalegacy: Stilts, Styling and Stupidity - will it save the world?
Family Name: Larson
Lot Name: Prachtboulevard 105
Categories: Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire

- Hello and welcome to the third
installment of my apocalegacy 'Far away
from Eden', starring my Founder Anais
Eden and now, after lifting showbusiness
and hopelessness last chapter, her
fiancee, Jerome Leufgen, or just short
'Jerry'... he is a Fortune Sim with the
LTW to become a criminal mastermind
and a 4/5/7/2/3 personality... his turn-
on are red hair and makeup, his turn-offs
glasses... -
" Anais was right, you really don't know,
what 'privacy' means. "
- Ah, Jerry, nice to speak with you now.
And you know, with this pictures in
your inventory... well I thought, you're
already experienced with... -
" No I'm not. And now put this camera
away, dammit! "
- Not even for the readers? You know,
you're really... -
" OUT! "
- fine, fine... sheesh, no wonder they have
triple-bolt, he as much a male be... -
"WHAT?!!!"
- Nothing, nothing... -

- Okay, so Jerry moved in, and the
computer suddenly said: 'brings
110.001 in'...wow, Jerry, did you rob a
bank or what? Not even Mr. Big has
that much ! -
" Well, my restaurant is a gold mine."
- Looks more like a glitch... *sigh*
seems I have to fund everything down
again... -
"WHAT?!"
"Jerry, just... ignore him, it's the only
advice I can give you."

- Okay,funded it down, now... -
" Uh sir? may I... ?"
- Frank, I already said in episode two,
I don't need talking stilts! -
"But...
but....(*sob*)...WAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAA...."
- ....Frank... -
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAA(*gasp*)WAAAAAAAAA
A..."

- GODDAMMIT FRANK, SHUT UP! -
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."
- ...rrrgh, YOU... ! -
" Please, Mr. Stringpuller, give Frank a
chance, and let him be part of this
legacy, or he'll never stop whining. "
" Yes, please, at least for the sake of
mine and Maurice ears...I didn't even
know, that stairs have ears, before
they began to hurt..."

" ,,, grrmbl... damn civilian... gives
away our position with this crap..."
"....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAA(*Gasp*)WAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAA(*gasp*)AAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAA..."
-....hrrr..1-2-358910...OKAY, OKAY,
YOU'RE IN ! -
"...AAAAAAAAAAaaaaa... (*snif*)
what?"
- YOU'RE IN! BUT STOP THIS
GODDAMN NOISE! -
" I'm... I'm in? really in? "
- YES! YES, YOU ARE! HAPPY
NOW?! -
" I'm in, ... oh, I'm... I'm so happy, I
think I could...(*sob*) I could cr..."
- FRANK! -

" I'll be good, I'll be good, I promise! I
won't disappoint you Sir, Mr.
Stringpuller, Creator, Boss, Sir!"
- ... whatever. Okay Frank, your first
job is to guide the Myshuno machine
Jerry just rolled a want for... -
"Oh, oh, oh, I love this game! Okay,
who has the green, who has the green,
show at your cubes, give me a smile
and..."
- *sigh* And so the day went by... -

" This is a joke, right?"
- Hm? -
" It's another one of your jokes, right?
There is no Stilt, that plays Myshuno
with itself, without even knowing the
rules?"
" Aaaand... we have a winner! Green
to Four, Aces at seven, Nine stands
for..."
- Believe me, I wish, you were right...
by the way, wanna join the party? -
" Party? "

- Yes, Party. Anais was bored, so she
invited some of her best friends for a
little pool match. Let's see... Students,
Prof, Marsha Bruenig, Stephen... oh
my, she is even best friends with a
burglar?... -

- Of course, the party was a roof
raiser, as well as the one next night...
still, without being able to visit
Community lots, Anais lost a lot of
(best) friends now... in only one night,
we went down from 130 to 70... and
dropping... -

- At that time, Anais... somehow...
began to change... -
"... *hehehehe*... "
- Anais... everything alright? -
"...all my friends...*hehehehe*...gone...
must *drool* stop this....must... "
- oh, oh... -

- And then... -
" Gaaaze..."

"...innnnto...."

"....myyyyy...."

"....eyeeeees..."

"...aaaand...."

"... leeet..."

".....meeeee....."

*BITE!*

*BITE!*

*BITE!*

*BITE!*

*BITE!*

*BITE!*

" UUUUNNNHH....!"

" IIIIIIIIEEEH....!"

" EEEEERRRH...!"

" RRRRRGH...!"

*Bleh!*

*Bleh!*

*Bleh!*
- Okay, that's enough... ANAIS!
WHAT - ARE - YOU - DOING
THERE?! You're supposed to to stop
the Count's malicious forces and end
the vampocalypse, not spread it!!! -
" And that's exactly what I'm going to
do... by raising a 'Counterarmy'! After
that, Vamp-D is available again and
everyone can turn back to normal. In
the meantime, And the best: I'm able
to invite all my friends again after
midnight!"
- A Counter... oh.... Okay, why not... -

" Bleh, bleh, I'm the evil vampire
Llama, I'm so bad that I'm already
gnawing of my own arm, bleh..."
- ... but perhaps the counterarmy thing
needs at least a bit more 'finetuning'...
-

- ... especially for one thing... -
"... My teeth didn't grow, right?"

" I can still see my picture in the
mirror, yes? I'm not turning invisible,
right?!"
- Really, Jerry spent most of his time
before mirrors, as if he wanted to see
if he was already vampified... -
"She wouldn't dare to vampify me,
right? This won't be happening, right?
RIGHT?!"
- *whistles innocently* -

- But the constant mirroring had one
advantage: Jerry's Charisma went
through the roof... perfect for the
career change I had in mind...
Business! -
" At least then we're able to sell this
stupid myshuno game, this Stilt is
driving me..."
" And now the Four! Has somebody
the Four? Four? and now the three,
has somebody the three? three...?"

- With one small problem...-
" Rrrgh... stupid sonnyboy... took my
girl away... have to kick... "
- Aw man, Hoagie... Poor Norm... if he
only would speak to me... -
" And now six by the river! "
- *groan* -

" Great, this is the third time this week
I have to turn up this thing... and
Anais won't help me while doing her
whole 'counterarmy thing'..."
- Trouble in Eden? -
"Somehow..."
- Than perhaps you will enjoy, that I
invited one *your* best friends... -

- ... Joe Curtain aka Mr. Big! So that's
why you had so much money... big
tips, right, hehe ?... though... I always
thought, Joe is only into ugly looking
townies... but awwww, you're
somehow a cute couple... -
" I'M NOT GAY ! "
" What, you're not? "
- Well, not now, Joe, but... -
" DON'T YOU DARE!!! "
- Well, we see after the the next gen... -
* See Joe Curtain in... *Action* in
Ephemeraltoasts ApocaFunlypse at
www.boolprop.com.

- And, so after a first lesson in Pool
Billard... -
" ...And your fiance ignores you? A
hot, sexy guy like you...?"
" Not really ignore... she's just busy
with this apoc stuff... but I'l admit,
sometimes it's a bit lonely..."
" Hmmm... If you want, I can stay... "
" Nononono, thanks, but... err...legacy
rules don't allow it, sorry... *whew*"

- And so, just escaping Joe Curtain's
well-manicured claws, another
surprise waits for Jerry... -
" Oh no! Don't tell me you're going to
force me to... "
- Oh, yes... Styling badge time! -

- ...And Joe just had the honour, to be
his first... victim... -
" Errr... sorry about that, Joe, but it's
my first try, and... "
"Oh Wow, that's great! "
" Wh... wh... what? You... you like...
????"
" O'Course! Now every bum in town'll
see, that I'm a totally hot, tasty Ch..."
" Oookay... now please say, why are
we best friends again?"

- Despite this Start, Jerry continued...
with a lot of 'trial and error'... -
" Hey, I got a bronze badge or not? "
- And how many people you've
already scarred for life, like this
random townie girl... -

- ... or Stella.... -

- ... or Joe... again ? -
" Uhm... could you close your eyes
before looking into the mirror? "
" Do you have a *naughty* surprise
for me, Gorgeous? "
" ... we can't be best friends, it's
impossible... "

- ... but at least, he was able to write a
book called " Styling for Dummies"
and fulfill his novel want, which kept
him long enough in platin to become...

- ... Business Tycoon! Now we can sell
things, if they aren't bigger than one
square (*Sigh*), Open our own
business, and... -

- Use the Execu-putter. At least a little
green for the garden... -
" OKAY, Men! See the Flag?! You're
responsible for this flag! Guard the
flag with your rotten life! If the enemy
ever gets the flag, I come and whoop
your sorry...! "
" SARGE, YES, SARGE!!!"
- ... and something for the Insane to
play... -
"Oh, oh, oh, I like this game! May I
play? May I, may I? "
- no comment -

- Meanwhile... -
" Jerrrrry... "
" Oh shhhh...

"... Rrrrgh... "

*Bleh!*

- It wasn't that bad, right? -
" You've planned that from the
beginning, right? "
- Do you really want an anwser? -
" Not really... may I at least quit my
*day* job now? "
- I don't think, you want an answer to
that, too... -

- ...And so, Jerry kept his job... as well.
In fact, he and Anais are still in their
careers. A small problem is the middle
of nowhere handicap I'm playing with
- they have to share the car for work.
Thankfully, Jerry's work ends at the
same time Anais begins, I just have to
take care, that he runs immediately to
the coffins, while she runs to the car...
a matter of seconds, sometimes... -
" Anais, he's does his Rulebubbling
again! "
" Ignore him, Jerry! Don't give him
any credit, he doesn't deserve it!"
- ...you're mean... -
" See, what I mean?"

- ... -
- ... -
- ... -
" Okay, fine, Just do your rule... well,
you can do it... "
- * ahem* 25 bottles = another
Collection point... -
" This must be the only challenge,
where the creator is dumber than its
Sims... "
- HEY! -

- ...Anyway, with Business lifted, it's
time for ... -
" May we quit our *day* jobs now?
please?"
- I'll reconsider it at level 10... -
*groan* *moan*

- And so, only with one makeover
chair, the journey for level 10 began...
despite Jerry's severe attempts to ruin
it... -
" For your Information: I have a gold
badge now!"
- And you're still torturing you're
customers with crazy makeovers like
Kennedy Cox here...

- ...or Edna...

- ... or Armin... -

- ... or Stephen... -
"Hey, they like it, or not? "
- Sadly yes... Couldn't Maxis at least
implant some fashion style into their
townies? -

- But still... Jerry, take a break and let
Anais handle this...

- ... I bought you a nice working bench
to play... -
" Unnngh... more badges, right? "

- ... And don't forget, the next Item
only, after you sold the last one... -
" Why does the Crime mob even care
about toys? It's not like Snapdragons
and... "
- I think it's the Counts idea,
depressed children are easier to
manipulate after growing up... -
" Forget, that I ask, this Vampocalypse
is... "
- If you think so...Lets see, how Anais
does... -

"... and this is just the newest Style:
watching undead-infested world
outside through pink glasses..."
- don't tell me she... -

- ... oh my... -
" Just to inform you: we set our prices
to extra cheap and are now already at
level 7."
- Can't...resist... this... -

" I earned 100.000 ! "
- HAH! -
" What "HAH" ?"
- So you'll admit this 100.000 at the
beginning were a glitch !! -
" And you know, if you kept them,
you could already have a... money
collection point *evilgrin*!"
- I... I could... guh... gna...
rhsdfgwefqfg1gklöfs... -
" Hehehe... got him!"

- mrmbl... stupid jerry, stupid glitch...
AAAh, Anais, I see you invited
someone over...°o° -
" Ssssh, quiet, you... ehrrm, oh
Professor Sunday, teehee... It's sooo
good to see you again... "
" OooOh... Miss Eden, isn't it terrible,
all these Vampires out there... by the
way you look somehow...? "
" ehhhr... post-vampiristic stress,
Prof... Perhaps... you could examine
me...?"
- Everything for your *friends*, right?
-
"... Oh you goddamn little... "

"... little red riding hood, what have
you there in your... *baskets*? "
"I'm only telling, if you bite me again,
big bad wolf..."

- ... even Hoagie made an
appearance... and was confronted
with Jerry... I hoped for some prank
and poking pictures, but instead: -
"... and then he got eaten by the
cowplant! "
" Hahahahahaha... good one, Hoagie!
But why are you suddenly so nice to
me? I mean, I got Anais and... "
" Hey, keep cool, I'm a romance Sim
after all. I already got some new b...
ehrm... yeah, well... but you know, I
wanted to ask... "

"... since you're a Fortune Sim and the
water pipes still damaged... how
about some cash for some pictures of
Anais spongebathing...?"
- He... Hey! Jerry, have you heard that,
this guy just asks for pictures of your
beloved future-in-law bathing... -
" Double it and we have a deal! "

- This is... Anais, have you heard... ? -
"... and the rest, when I have the pics
of him. "
" Deal."
- ... nevermind... -

- Okay, despite this little... accidents,
everything went rather well. And then
the great moment: my Simself appears
for the first time on the lot!
" Sir! Good to see you, Sir! "
" Thanks, nameless Stilt. Report?"
" Sir! Frank is really silent the last
days, Sir!
" Any idea why?"
" Sir! Seems like he got a case of sore
throat for yelling constantly for his
game, Sir!"
"...Krchs...three.. ackack... for the...
rhzss... "
" Since when do Stilts have... okay,
thank you, Soldier!"
" Sir!" *claps with nonexistent legs*

" And then... "
"YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!
!!!!!!!!"
"...she said, and..."
"Stop narrating me! I HATE you! I
hate you so much...!!!"

" Hey, hey, Anais, calm down. You've
done great so far... well, except for the
whole biting... and the cheating on
your future husband... and the picture
deal and... oh, forget it, everything
forgiven, okay?"
" I didn't forgive you!"
"And do you realize, that I already
have two negative customer stars for
yelling at me? Remember Level 10
and Day Jobs? "
" You,, You..."
" Three stars."
" Rrrgh....sssso... do you like to have a
new haircut, dearest customer???"

" Why not, my hair grew a bit long,
perhaps you could down...?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, now hold still,
you..."
" Four Sta... "

" ...AAAAAAAAAAAAH ANAIS!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?!"
"urgh... I'd like to say, I did this on
purpose, but it was really an
accident..."
" You have a gold badge since college,
dammit!"
" Hey, this happens, it's not that I..."
" FIVE stars. Now go and give me new
makeover, presto!"

" Okay, okay, The Customer is King...
besides, I think, I just have the *right*
styling for you..."
" Why does the word *right* stands in
asterisks? I warn you, if you play
games with me..."
"What? give me six stars? "
" darn... "

" Tada! This is just perfect for you!"
" Why does my head feel so funny...?"

" What the...??!!!"
" See? Now no one can see your bad
makeup anymore... and you look like
your avatar from the exchange! Isn't
this original?"
" I... I... "
" Thanks, dear customer, now if you
excuse me, there are other people
desperately waiting for
vampocalypse-resistant haircuts... "

" And that's, how it ended... "
- Hey, I wanted to say that! And there
are still some pics for this chapter,
yes? -
" Not for me, I'm going home... "
- Hmm... okay, but don't forget to
place yourself at the exchange first! -
" You... god, I'm really a self-
advertising jerk, am I?"

- Despite the little Minus, Anais
finally succeded: Level 10 - and the
first Collection point for our new
family business in Generation one! -
" I knew, you had something like that
in mind... Can we, please, finally quit
our day jobs?!"
- After what you did to my simself?...
and I think, you should first care
about something else... -
" What?! What?! What is it this time?!"

- this... -
" Yes, miss, if you want, we also give
full body treatments... *drool*
everything to increase your outer
beauty ...though you're already hotter
then... "
" Oh this... he... "
- May I remind you of the Prof, Anna
and Hoagie? And Jerry didn't woohoo
for... seven weeks? Uggh, this
would've killed a lesser man... -
" You! You forced us to... "
- Now, Now, go and make Generation
two please... -

" ...Is he still watching ?"
" yup. "
" Any chance that he gets bored and
leaves us alone ? "
" Higly Unlikely. "
" So... what are we going to do ?"
" Relax. It's just two hours till dawn.
Passive resistance, Jerry, even if we
turn into toast. "
- Okay, fine, I'll leave you alone for...
this. Well, I think I'll use the time for
little sidestory I wanted to tell... -

- ... so, remember placeholder Gerd
from Episode 2? While Anais was in
the Simbim, I installed pets and to test
the new features, I played him a
while. And guess who phoned him for
an Outing at the first day? No, not
Anais, just an old guy who Gerd never
met before, who was best friends
with... oh well, I think, everyone
knows. I didn't intend to stay longer
downtown, perhaps just try to find a
stray for adoption... -

- ... but Gerd had other ideas and
hooked up with Lucy (who was just
vampified by the Countess)... Gerd, I
thought you were a 'Geek', not a
'Gigolo'? -
" Hey, I'm the one who is described as:
'Can he break this cycle?'. And
besides... Science Sims are always in
for zombies/vampires/werewolves
etc... "
- And then it turned out, that she was
Science too, so... -

- ... after a little Geekette-makeover ...
-

- ... marrriage ...

- ... and finally honeymoon ... -
" As a secret agent of the Countess, I
declare you to be another slave of the
great vampire army that will defeat
the humble humans, bringing terror
and mayhem! "
- (Remember, at that time,
vampocalypse had not happened yet.)
-

- But our 'secret agent' forgot a tiny
detail... -

- ... which put her short 'agent' career
to a sudden stop... seriously, I never
had a Science Sim, that rolled so many
family wants... teach to
walk/talk/Potty, want to talk to...
want to play with... want... oh well,
not the worst mommy for little Albert
- after Albert Einstein,who else :-) - ,
and I let her and Gerd stay vampires
for the whole time, to test, how
difficult it is for vampires to raise
toddlers, and it was surprisingly
easy...

- ... because little Albert grew up quite
well... only his black (?) hair needed a
little change... (but I'm afraid, how he
will look as a teen, considering his
parents genetics... *shudder*) -

- ... oh, and of course glasses... he
turned out to be grouchy, playful and
active... but that's not so important
now, after all, this was a test drive for
pets... -

- ... so Lucy finally was able to adopt a
little stray called 'Floh' - the german
word for 'Flea' ...-

- ... so we first had to bath the little
guy to get rid of... ehr, oh well... -

- ... and then we bought him some
equipment to feel at home... ignore the
crazy teen, who tries to socialize with
a wolf, or to put it that way... why
didn't you bite anyone of my Sims so
far, stupid wolf?! I want a werewolf,
dammit!!! -

- Also, Floh, since no one else was
there for him at day, soon accepted
Albert as his new master, learning
most of his behaviour and tricks from
him... -

- ... and finally started a career in
showbusiness ... -

- ...which he easily topped. This made
him the only one with a job in this
house... -
" Bark, baaark, bark! "
- Oh sorry, with TWO jobs... one in
showbusiness - they call him the
*new* Lassie -, and the other one as...
A Secret Agent of the Werewolf
Empire!!! ... if there would be
werewolves... oh, nevermind... -

- Okay, so far for now. See you
hopefully next time. For (more?) great
Stories visit www.boolprop.com.
Have an Ice day!
P.S.: This chapter was generously
hosted by the Larson (OFB) /
Vagabound (Pets) - Household,
current location downtown. -

Epilogue:
"Uhm, Excuse me, I know I'm just a
placeholder and stuff, but... I'M
VAMPIFIED AND STANDING
RIGHT IN THE DESERT SUN WITH
A BAD HAIRCUT, PLEASE DO
SOMETHING!"
- Sorry Stella, Chapter's over, and it
may take a while before we'll visit
LFT again... and you know, I
somehow like you this way... -