Tinder and the city

Tinder & the City
how did we have fun before dating apps?
Yulya Besplemennova
for MATING URBANISM
20/01/2016

DISCLAIMER
* This is a VERY subjective research done by me as a “hobby”
* No human beings were harmed in the making of this research
...almost, I hope
* It’s not gonna tell you how to improve your Tinder performance,
though references for that will be provided =)

0. The essence of “Internet and the city”
We (and things around us) are constantly connected (1)
and communicating in a mediated way (2)
with the networks (3)
holding and processing huge amounts of data in real time (4)

We (and things around us) are constantly connected (1):
* all the experiences are hybrid and changing based on your
online interactions: bench in the park is fixed, but perceived
different if you’re on Tinder or Twitter
* we interact in a new ways as we got new “senses”: you can
navigate the city based not on sight, but GPS
* interactions happen in redefined time and space: I decide for
myself if to bring turn my home into office by checking mails from
there

communicating in a mediated way (2)
* there is always an interface or a protocol designed by someone
which defines and limits the possibilities of communication -
you never get same freedom of action as communicating with a
person next to you

* network dynamics affect the services - value is often based on
the number of users, not on the function itself (Facebook, Airbnb,
etc)

processing huge amounts of data in real time (4)
* permits to create new services - from self-driving cars to even
simple tableau showing the time of bus arrival
* нto make life more efficient you constantly bargain information -
your location to know location of your friends (Forsquare, Tinder),
your interests for knowledge (Google), data about your behaviour,
etc,etc.

Tinder vs Bar at the corner:
1. normally there are people all the time and
you can use it wherever
2. info about person is limited, you can just
exchange messages
3. you’re all equally connected, but in some
places can be few users
4. you get access to all the people in the
world and their info, but service owner knows
evertyhing about you
1. you have to choose time and move there
physically
2. you choose whatever info you get an
whichever actions to take
3. there are patrones, people coming with
friends, etc, they don’t necessary want the
same thing as you
4. limited amount of people in each moment

1.
Yulya +
Tinder
2.
Yulya +
Tinder +
friends
3.
Tinder +
the world
Tinder research path:

p.1
how I’m hacking myself
with Tinder

Who’s Yulya? (dating-wise)
personally: introvert and workaholic, Rapunzel syndrome
situationally: working from home in a micro collective
immigrant - not that well integrated
socio-
culturally: from not-really-dating context
relationships: looooong one in Russia, met on Internet
mostly single in Italy since 5 years

found out about Tinder 2 years ago, but installed
only 30/08/2015

Vladikavkaz - conservative to
extremes, very early marriage,
extended family, no hookups,
dating those you get to know
from close social groups
(friends/colleagues)
Zelenograd - not completely
Moscow, early marriage, nuclear
family, dating those you get to
know from close social groups
(friends/colleagues), male deficit
Milan - liberated relationships
culture, dating, hookups, etc, but
still (post) catholic
Socio-cultural background:

Goals
Research - to understand if the problem is in:
1. not meeting enough people in daily life;
2. being frustrated in general;
3. incompatibility with people in Milan:
a) I don’t like them
b) they don’t like me
Practice - embrace diversity, chat with strangers,
go on dates, etc...

Actions
1. not meeting enough people in daily life - would be solved with apps

2. being frustrated in general - won’t be solved with apps

Practice - embrace diversity, chat with strangers, go on dates, etc...
can be quantified and
compared with other places
using apps
can be reached by apps

Apps
Tinder
Happn
Loovo
Adotta un ragazzo
Blendr
Netqr (antiTinder)
Pure
Bumble
Coffe meets bagel
Twindog
wins
didn’t like the
interface
TRASH
not in Milan
too late -
dog left!

*normally I’m more like that
minus smiling
Previously:
“not a simple Russian girl, I got vodka (later -
Dostoevsky) in my blood. Currently a designer
in Milan
now people think I’m Australian...
Tinder profile

First impression
https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=sKTWlYImY20

Experiment 1: Quantifying and comparing attraction to
people in different locations
- Count how many profiles I swiped in total
- Count how many I liked out of them
- Get percentage
- Compare results in different cities

Google Keep Google Spreadsheets
Backstage

Results
Moscow:
duration: 2 weeks
total: 1763
liked total: 62
% 3.5167

russians liked: 48
%: 2.7226
Lisbon:
duration: 4 days
total: 244
liked total: 3
% 1.2295
Milan:
duration: 4 months
total: 2523
liked total: 61
% 2.4177

Moscow wins!..
or not yet?
“official”female
average is 14%!
*swiping with friends:
total: 211
liked total: 27.5
% 13.0331

Comparing my use patterns
Milan Moscow
red:
total profiles viewed
in 1 session
blue:
profiles liked
in 1 session
- I’m getting more impulsive =)
- many things affect liking rate - especially dates
experience makes suspicious about others
- in Milan - no improvement
- in Moscow: algorithms work? or just
holidays affect it?

Experiment 2: Quantifying and comparing my attractiveness
and behaviour of people in different locations
- Like 50 profiles in a row
- Count matches
- Count initiated discussions
- Observe how discussions go
- How many dates invitations are reached in 72 hours
- Compare results

Idea based on:
https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=lY8rzo4Ik4M&feature=youtu.be
Brian: 269 matches
(27% match rate)
Briana: 701 matches
(70% match rate)
Brian: 28 messages received
(10.5% message rate)
Briana: 378 messages received
(54% message rate)
Briana got 2.6x (160%) more
matches than Brian.
Briana got 13.5x (1250%) more
messages than Brian.
Experiment 2
*life is weird - I have higher match rate in
Milan than this super hot girl in LA!O_o

Results
Milan:
immediately 43 matches, + 2 during first 24 hours, +1 on the 3rd day
= 46 matches total, 92% match rate
24 conversation initiated by guys: = 51% message rate
1 conversation I didn’t feel like proceeding with
7 conversations finished with my last message - guys just disappeared for 48 hours
7 dates invitations, 1 date to which I’m planning to go
3 asked for whatsapp
4 stuck conversations with my last message - for 24 hours
1 fantastic conversation about gravity
22 conversation initiated by me:
14 replied, 1 unmatched by me, generally super stupid conversations
7 finished after few messages
1 “I want only sex, sorry”
2 dates invitation
= 9 dates invitations total, 19% date rate
2 actual dates with 1 guy
= 63% reply rate
17% total silence

Results
Moscow:
very slow process of getting matches 14 matches total O_o = 28% match rate

8 conversations started by guys: = 57% message rate
3 dates invitations
1 unmatched me cause I didn’t wanna meet immediately
1 unmatched without a reason
3 replied
1 wanted to test first night before wedding in Vegas
1 asked how tall I was and disappeared
1 was Italian we still talk
= 3 dates invitations total, 21% date rate
0 actual dates
* by numbers Moscow guys win in activity, but my perception was the opposite - slow
pointless conversations, no real persistance when rejected to date, % rates might seem bigger
because of statistic error with just 14 matches
= 50% reply rate
21% total silence

Results
Milan, take 2 (to check stats - liked 100):
= 87 matches total, 87% match rate
48 conversation initiated by guys: = 55% message rate


24 replied in 24 hours
*this experiment naturally turned into observing reactions when not replying:
1 stalked me on Facebook
1 tried to win me revealing he’s “dotato” (“gifted”)
= 61% reply rate
15% total silence

Italians do it better! (and it’s too cold in Russia to date anyway...)

1. United States
2. United Kingdom
3. Brazil
4. Canada
5. France
6. Australia
7. Germany
8. The Netherlands
9. Mexico
10. Spain
11. Argentina
12. Belgium
13. Italy
14. Ireland
15. Norway
16. Denmark
17. Finland
18. Chile
19. New Zealand
20. India https://www.yahoo.com/travel/the-20-best-countries-to-
tinder-112662050462.html

Observations
Super decent messages, no #tindernightmares
or #awfulpickuplines material, no sex offers
right away, etc.
But also no especially catchy messages

guy with
a tiger/
elephant, etc
6-8 packs
naked torso in
gym, or even
naked ass!
crowd of
people, guess
who’s profile
nice guy
nice
settings
me and (not)
my kid
guy and
a pet
guy drinking
from bottle
guy and a
vehicle
guy doing
crazy sports
guy and a
(hot) girl
no face
visible guy
friend (from
Facebook)
Observations

General:
- most of conversations were super decent, but mostly basic (hi, how are you, where are you from,
etc,etc) just 1 submission to tinder feminist, Lots about age, height, how many met on Tinder, are
you really single, people just confessing they’re super bored
- conversations on fb fade, on whatsapp they blossom
- no one got crazy from rejections so far... (except for online stalking cases though)
- just few people were direct about sex
- there are all the different kinds of people looking for many things
- guys have serious problems with pictures =)
Milan:
- people are more active on Tinder in general and interested in talking
- more naked torso in gym, etc
- more sports
- more weird stuff (tigers, elephants, etc)
Moscow:
- many more married people looking for long term lovers, not one night stands
- many are divorced (with kids)
- interesting in meeting ASAP and not chatting and getting to know you first
- apparently prostitutes use Tinder
- 30% are foreigners, which behave as you should please them (2 unmatched me)
- Tinder adaptive algorithms work?

Freeflowing natural dating =)
- comfortable rules - not more than
once a week, etc
- started only in the end of october -
2 months after installed Tinder
- went on 10 dates (though the one
on 25/12 should be count as two!)
with 6 guys in Milan out of 2532
profiles that I saw (0,24%)
- 7 out of 10 were in some new for
me places in Milan - so I explored
city this way!
- I met friends of 2 guys and 2 guys
met my friends as well
- decent just as conversations - no
one was expecting just a hookup
(!!!) I didn’t experiment on
people! (yet)

Personal conclusions:
1. not meeting enough people in daily life

2. being frustrated in general

Practice - embrace diversity, chat with strangers, go on dates, etc...
with like rate of around 3% and date rate
0,25% obviously I’m having problems with
daily life of immigrant&introvert which are
solved with Tinder
I like them almost same as in other places,
so far... and they like me a lot O_o
more dates with new people than in any
previous year of my life! Even if I wouldn’t
go out with all meeting them before in per-
son, it all was positive experience

Personal conclusions:
beard
glasses
tall&/
slim
like!
like!
like!
Prince
charming!
*_*
My personal liking pattern
seems quite superficial =)
dealbreakers:
- naked
- too sporty
- bad pics
- guitars
compensations:
- super handsome
- smiling nice
- super interesting: nerdy refs
- looks like Putin
*everyone who I went on a
date with so far had at least 2
of those...

Conclusions
+ -
* never laughed so much online
* never talked to so many strangers
* never been to so many dates
* seen new places in the city
* enjoyed all dates
* started evaluating people offline!
* never been so exhausted of
communication
* got frustrated when after 100
profiles you don’t like anyone
* wouldn’t go on dates with some
* got stalked online
obviously it could also be determined by
me being picky and suspicious

Tinder defeated
#nevicata14!!!

constantly connected (1)
+ date everywhere anytime fast
- focus away from possible encounters around and less possibility for it
mediated way (2)
+ you can always block someone
- you can never really know them before meeting
- private chat with stranger on screen is a dangerous place
*people do define how to treat that mediation - Tinder doesn’t push to hookup
networks (3)
+ people more or less equal there
- you can be stalked
- value drops with few users
lots of data in real time (4)
+ a lot of possible new connections
- a lot of possible new connections - value of each drops, alienation
- service learns about you and defines your experience

p.2
how did we have fun
before Tinder?!
*real exclamation of my friend

Tindering turned to be
a super social practice
- offline “community” assembles and influence is spread
- sharing screenshots also online
#weareallYulya - party tindering
- swiping with friends - which increases rate!
- friends swiping for you

https://www.channelkit.com/yulya.besplemennova/sexuality-now/
https://www.channelkit.com/yulya.besplemennova/female-sexuality/
https://www.channelkit.com/yulya.besplemennova/sexuality-in-urban-space/

Tinder as an Industry
single people in the U.S. 54,250,000
people in the U.S. who have tried online dating 49,250,000
Ratio of single men to single women in America 86 to 100
Annual revenue from the online dating industry $1,749,000,000
marriages met on a dating site 17 %
current committed relationships that began online 20 %
In July 2015, Bank of America Merrill Lynch valued Tinder at $1.35 billion
50mln Tinder users every month; more than 1bln profile swipes; more
than 12mln matches made every day.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(app)
http://www.statisticbrain.com/dating-relationship-stats/
http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/

Tinder Ecosystem
Uber,
Airbnb?
Facebook,
Whatsapp,
Tinder iwatch app,
disposable phone
numbers apps,
...

http://backtalk.kinja.com/an-online-dating-coach-responds-to-our-tinder-fraud-sto-1604956574
http://backtalk.kinja.com/a-silicon-valley-executive-is-hiring-writers-to-catfish-1602869731
Tinder Experts Industry

http://www.tindersociety.com/, http://tinderadvisor.com/, etc
Tinder Experts Industry

Tinder, Society & Rituals
“Every study about online dating seems to
contradict the one before it”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/
wp/2014/09/30/does-online-dating-work-lets-be-honest-we-
have-no-idea/
The Harmful Myth That Tinder’s Just for
Hookups
http://www.wired.com/2015/08/an-admittedly-biased-de-
fense-of-tinder/
Has Tinder Really Sparked a Dating Apoc-
alypse?
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/08/has-tinder-real-
ly-sparked-a-dating-apocalypse.html?mid=twitter_nymag#
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-
hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

Percent of women who have sex
on the first online date
33 %
Percent of sex offenders who
use online dating to meet people

10 %

sexual revolution, education, contraception, emancipation,
feminism, male deficit, gay marriages, modern urban lifestyle,
global mobility, climate change, financial crisises, etcetcetc...
the Internet
transition from dating to hookups on college campuses is
eventually claimed to have started in 1970s - loooong ago
before Tinder&Co:
http://citation.allacademic.com//meta/p_mla_apa_research_
citation/0/2/3/3/1/pages23315/p23315-1.php
Tinder, Society & Rituals

Gender and Sexuality
Tinder eventually is not
heterosexual Grindr
Grindr was pioneering app
launched on March 25, 2009,
with huge implications
On September 8, 2011, Grindr
launched Blendr, a similar
app for people of all sexual
orientations, with additional
features intended to facilitate
non-sexual friendships

Apps and the Space
Grindr Happn
‘fishing’ or ‘trawling’ involves keeping the application
on during extended periods of time or the whole day so
that potential contacts ‘encountered’ along one’s daily
mobilities remain visible on the homepage as long it is
not refreshed . The messages sent by connected strangers
who have discovered their mutual proximity thanks to the
application are also stored. Contacts and messages are
therefore kept to be checked later on, for instance when in
the quiet of one’s home in the evening.

Apps and the Space
“The distance, the proximity enable the arousal. Proximity, if there
is some feeling, it may work. It stimulates, it creates desire”
Not only are intrapsychic, interpersonal and cultural levels entangled
in the production of recognizable sexual activities (an idea which was
at the core of the sexual script concept), but we see here that such
an entanglement also hybridizes the human with technology. In Grindr
encounters, sexual arousal and desire are mediated by the design of the
Grindr interface and the location awareness technology as well as by
cultural scenarios...
Grindr users are augmented with the mobile application kept alive on
their smartphones.”
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/284178979_
Proximity_awareness_and_the_privatization_of_sexual_
encounters_with_strangers_The_case_of_Grindr

A Lunch Break Romance
https://vimeo.com/58229427

*Tinder works on the contrary to
dominating social media

1. it’s how we approach people on the streets, but don’t say it out
loud and don’t swipe them
2. judging is the base of rejection, rejection is base of selecting the
best one - which is believed to be female goal evolutionary
3. I judge you = I’m better than you
*even when people leave the app, they get their portion of it -
judging all the Tinder uses and feeling better than that
judging works because:

judging on your own
judging with friends
judging publicly
both appearance and behaviour

judging is not superficial
“We’re constantly inventing narratives about the people who
surround us — where he works, what he loves, whether our
family would like him. And more than other dating services,
which offer up comprehensive match dossiers, Tinder appears
to encourage these narratives and crystallize the extrapolation
process and package it into a five-second, low-stakes decision.
We swipe, in other words, because of semiotics...
...it’s all about context”

“The raw idea of attraction — that knee-jerk “thinking from
the genitals” decision — has less to do with our unmentionable
parts and much more to do with a combination of our deepest
subconscious biases and with our most overt and uncharitable
personal politics. And if that’s the case, it’s no doubt the reason
why Tinder is so popular, addictive, and ultimately insidious.”
(“How I Rebuilt Tinder And Discovered The Shameful Secret Of Attraction” http://
www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/we-are-all-classists#.wkxmwe2Z8)

Tinder is also judging (ranking)
https://www.fastcompany.com/3054871/whats-your-tinder-score-inside-the-apps-internal-ranking-system

DATING
MATINGis one of the
rituals leading to
which defines the
future of human race
O_o

What if more people will mate and reproduce
after meeting via dating services?

We (and things around us) are constantly connected (1)
and communicating in a mediated way (2)
holding and processing huge amounts of data in real time (4)
META: who controls it?!

Before the algorithms were based on “user
preferences”, now they kind of match by
desirability, what’s next?
EUGENICS 3.0?

Can we design services that mitigate cultural
controversies?
Can some new physical public space or the way
our private houses are built compete with this
digital menace?
Which would be the new hybrid spaces for the
new realities of mating?

- there is a change in culture which started many years ago and now is
getting more evident
- Internet couldn’t stay away from that change
- in the recent years dating apps industry had passed the negative
perception
- Tinder is fantasticly designed service
- it’s an instrument: you can get from it different things
- no real interaction functionality that would make tinder dating or hooking
up or whatever
- it can deliver both positive and negative experiences
- it has all the traits of Internet age in it and brings them to dating
- it adapts to the cultural differences
- different features of apps make us rethink interactions with public spaces
- you can use it for research

Coming Out
as a Modern Family
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/01/fashion/coming-
out-as-a-modern-family-modern-love.html?_r=1
P.P.S.

feel free to contact me for any
feedback or questions:
ybdesigning@gmail.com

Tinder and the city

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