1. Assertiveness -
Effectively
Communicating with
Difficult Peers
Tutor Training Developed by
Natasha Ford, Chelsea Shoben & Catherine Siew
University of Central Florida’s
Student Academic Resource Center
2013

2. Passive and Aggressive Communication
Preliminary Reflection
Before you read through this
PowerPoint, answer the first 6
questions on your PowerPoint
Worksheet.

3. What is it?
 How would you define “Passive”?
 Passive communication is characterized by not
expressing honest feelings, thoughts or beliefs
and allowing others to violate your rights.
 What are some characteristics that you would identify
with passive communication?
 Review the characteristics on the next slide and
add them to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.
 Would you identify yourself as a passive
communicator? What would that look like?
Passive Communication

4. Passive Communication
Common Characteristics
 Passive Communication Characteristics
 Not expressing honest feelings
 Allowing others to violate your rights
 Non-Verbal Behaviors
 Self put-down
 Hesitation
 Averting gaze when talking
 Covering arms
 Verbal Characteristics
 Hesitant, filled with pauses
 Apologize unnecessarily in a soft voice
 Frequent justification e.g. “I would not normally say
anything but…”

5. Passive Tutoring
Reflection & Drawbacks of this Communication Style
 How would you describe a passive tutor?
 Passive tutoring may not look like a shy
person standing in front of others. Passive
tutoring refers more to the chosen style of
communication when approaching situations
that come up while tutoring. The way you
deal with a disruption or difficult student may
be passive (“letting it go”).
Look on Page 2 of your worksheet. Read the
scenario and answer questions 7 and 8.

6. What is it?
 How would you define “Aggressive”?
 Aggressive communication is characterized by
standing up for your personal rights and expressing
your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is
usually inappropriate and which violates the other
person.
 What are some characteristics that you would identify with
an aggressive communication style?
 Review the characteristics on the next slide and add them
to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.
 Would you identify yourself as an aggressive
communicator? What would that look like?
Aggressive Communication

7. Aggressive Communication
Characteristics
 Communication Characteristics
 Standing up for yourself in a way that violates others.
 Non-Verbal Behaviors
 Crossing arms
 Gesturing or staring at specific people
 Scowling when angry
 Striding around impatiently
 Verbal Characteristics
 Sarcastic, condescending tone
 Fast, abrupt pace
 Put downs of others e.g. “Don’t be stupid”
 Threatening questions e.g. “Haven’t you finished yet?”

8. Aggressive Tutoring
Reflection & Drawbacks
 What are some scenarios when a tutor
may resort to aggressive behavior?
 When a tutor speaks aggressively
towards a student in the group, how do
you think this makes the rest of the
group of tutees feel?
Read the second scenario on Page 2 of the
worksheet. Answer Question 9.

9. The Question is…
In a tutoring environment, is it
preferential to be passive or
aggressive?
What about passive aggressive?

10. Others Needs Your Needs
Assertive Communication
Find a Happy Medium

11. Assertive Communication
What does it look like?
 Assertive Communication Characteristics:
 Steady even pace
 Sincere and clear attitude
 Constructive criticism without blame
 A willingness to explore other solutions
We should learn to be assertive in our communication so that
we can be open and honest without violating the rights of
others.
 Why else is assertiveness important?

12. Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness
To many of us, assertiveness doesn’t come naturally.
 State the behavior observed
 Do not judge or assume!
 How does it affect you and how does it
make you feel?
 Focus on the behavior rather than the person
 Ask for what you want
 Put it all together in an assertive statement
 When you are late, then I have to wait, and I feel
frustrated. Can I count on you to be on time tomorrow?

13. Assertive Communication
Worksheet Activity
Using the Keys to Assertiveness on the previous
slide, complete the activity on Page 3 by selecting
two different difficult peer types.
Try using this activity to brainstorm for a real-life
scenario since one of these will likely come up while
you are tutoring. If you are prepared with an
effective assertive statement like the one you have
written down, hopefully the situation will not catch
you off-guard.

14. Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness
Walking Small “Speedy” Episode

15. Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness - Handout
Note a few situations from the video that you
recognize one of the characters not being
assertive.
On the handout provided, rewrite the scenes so
the character communicates assertively. (Try
making an assertive statement as we learned on
Slide 12!)