Proceeding onto Swales moves.

1. Entering the
Conversation
(Week 2)
W R I T I N G I V
(HE285)
Prof. Dr. Ron Martinez
drronmartinez@gmail.com

2. Today’s agenda
• Briefly review important lessons from the
“Subtext” video for this class.
• Highlight some of your answers to the open-
ended questions from the class survey.
• Go over homework (grammar of
introductions)
• Look at a few online tools.
• First writing assignment.

3. “What does it mean to be a critical
writer?”
• It means to be able to come back to one's own text and understand the
needs for rewriting and editing, and to predict and understand how the
text is most likely to be perceived from the reader's point of view.
• To be able to analyze your own writing from a somewhat neutral point of
view in order to deduce how others will read it.
• A clear presentation of your arguments/conclusion + being able to
recognize your own limitations.
• I had never heard of it before, but I would guess it means to be aware of
the limitations of the written text, and take into account the different
possible interpretations the readers might have.
• to be a critical writer is to be open to new evidence and new ideas to your
subject. It is to be critical in relation to the references that are being used
(not only accepting them as the truth, or denying all of it). It is to show
arguments based on other writers but also taking into account your own
thoughts about it.

4. Highlights from Survey – The
Introduction
• “I believe the introduction, being the first
contact of the reader with the … essay, sets
the expectations and prepares the reader to
follow the line of reasoning contained in the
essay.”
• “I would actually put introduction and title as
1st. I believe that they create an expectation
in the reader and inform the reader how the
text is going to work.”

5. Homework: Grammar of introductions
• Compare answers.
• A matter of “correct” or a question of
“choice”?

6. Discuss
• Does money bring happiness?

7. Your First Writing Sample
1. In a Word document, write a short answer (150 – 300
words) to this prompt: “Money does not bring happiness.”
Do you agree with this statement?
2. Go to writeandimprove.com and type in this Workbook
invitation: 3GCRQF8Z
3. Paste in your text, and check your level.
4. In a new tab, go to paperrater.com and select “Use now
free.”
5. Paste in your text again, and then “Get Report.”
6. Send report to me via Teacher Code 482FF.
7. DISCUSS: Are you satisfied with the analyses provided?
Are these tools useful at all? What underlying
criteria/assumptions are there behind these tools?

8. We will pick this theme up again
next week...

16. But does it really show differences?
• Find a newspaper article. Copy and paste the
article into the paperrater.com.
• Fina a journal article and do the same.

17. High or low score?

19. “What characterizes a good academic
essay?”
• An essay written with a clear purpose and strong premises.
• A neat, objective style that doesn't "lose" the reader as it
goes is for sure a good start. The essay should be well-
connected, coherent and lead the reader forward […].
• A good academic essay should be as clear, straight to the
point, and informative as possible…
• An essay in which all the sections are coherent…
• A good academic essay must be primarily clear…
• […] It is clear and follows a clear "path".
• A good academic essay has a clear, logical argumentation…

20. A real example
• Consider the discussed criteria around what
constitutes an effective introduction, and
good academic writing in general. To what
extent does the sample essay meet those
criteria? Read and discuss.

22. Some “Subtext” insights
• Lev (the writer) has a specific “agenda” in mind
before he begins writing.
• The whole process of writing involves him trying
to maximize the effect of his discourse to
achieve that agenda.
• The writing process is “dialogic”: in dialogue
with himself, in dialogue with the intended
reader.
• Lev is (painfully) aware that word choice is of
paramount importance; the right choice of
words can mean the difference between his
“goal” and flat-out rejection.

23. What is the first thing you should
have before you start writing?
• “You have to be aware what is your purpose
with the text, what you want people to
understand when they read it.”

24. What is the first thing you should
have before you start writing?
• “You have to be aware what is your purpose
with the text, what you want people to
understand when they read it.”

25. “POSITION”

26. From the book They Say/I Say (Ch. 1)
• “(T)o give writing the most important thing of all
– namely, a point – a writer needs to indicate
clearly not only what his or her thesis is, but also
what larger conversation that thesis is responding
to.” (p. 20)
• “Therefore, when it comes to constructing an
argument (whether orally or in writing) [...]
remember that you are entering a conversation
and therefore need to start with ‘what others are
saying’...” (ibid.)

27. Develop your “position”
1. Go online and try to find 3 different sources
about the effect of money on happiness.
2. Keep track of the sources, and copy and
paste quotes you find interesting.
3. Tell a classmate about the experience. In
what way has your position been shaped by
the reading?
4. Save your notes – you will need them again
for next week.

28. Discuss: Who can an academic writer
be compared to?
• Politician?
• Salesperson?
• Teacher?
• Firefighter?
• Doctor?
• Lecturer?
• Architect?
• Other?

32. A “problem-solution” approach

33. Briefly discuss the Miller and Parker
article:
• Who is the article intended for?
• Did you like the article?
• Did you understand the “moves” (“establish
territory” etc.)?

34. “C.A.R.S.” (John Swales)

35. “C.A.R.S.” (John Swales)
YOUR (HIDDEN)
“POSITION”

36. Miller & Parker paper:Where’s the “gap”?
• Hint: Where could you insert the word “however”?
1
2
3
4
5
6

37. Where’s the “gap”?
• Hint: Where could you insert the word “however”?
3

38. Territory, Niche, and Occupation of
Niche

40. A typical “processo seletivo” dialogue.
What’s the problem?
BANCA MEMBER: Uh-huh. I see. OK, so what is
your hypothesis?
MESTRADO CANDIDATE: I want to compare the
work of Monteiro Lobato to J.K. Rowling.
BANCA MEMBER: Uh-huh. I see. OK, so… Do you
have a hypothesis?
MESTRADO CANDIDATE: I intend to look for
similarities between the use of imagery and
onomatopoeia.
BANCA MEMBER: Uh-huh. I see.

41. A “problem-solution” approach

42. What’s the problem?
• the line for the elevator at Reitoria
• the lack of a canteen at Reitoria
• the broken sidewalks of Curitiba
• the crowded buses during rush hour
• no place for students to sit in the hallways
• unreliable wi-fi on campus
• other? (It can be anything!)

43. Example
There can be little doubt that it is important to arrive
on time to class. Although not every class may be crucial,
there is no way for a student to predict which class is
important, and which one is not. Further, it is likewise
nearly impossible for a student to know what important
information will be given at the outset of a class. Clearly, a
student is only hurting her or himself by missing the
beginning of a class. However, it is one thing for a student
to arrive late to a class because of carelessness or
irresponsibility; it is quite another when the responsibility
lies at least in part with the physical infrastructure of the
institution itself. Such is the case with the current elevator
system at the Reitoria building of the Universidade Federal
do Parana. In this essay, I will present the current problem
and posit that the faulty elevator system is responsible for a
substantial number of student late arrivals to class. Further,
I will detail what problems this issue may be causing in
terms of student learning. I will follow this discussion with
a possible solution that is both cost-effective and relatively
quick to implement.

44. Example
There can be little doubt that it is important to arrive
on time to class. Although not every class may be crucial,
there is no way for a student to predict which class is
important, and which one is not. Further, it is likewise
nearly impossible for a student to know what important
information will be given at the outset of a class. Clearly, a
student is only hurting her or himself by missing the
beginning of a class. However, it is one thing for a student
to arrive late to a class because of carelessness or
irresponsibility; it is quite another when the responsibility
lies at least in part with the physical infrastructure of the
institution itself. Such is the case with the current elevator
system at the Reitoria building of the Universidade Federal
do Parana. In this essay, I will present the current problem
and posit that the faulty elevator system is responsible for a
substantial number of student late arrivals to class. Further,
I will detail what problems this issue may be causing in
terms of student learning. I will follow this discussion with
a possible solution that is both cost-effective and relatively
quick to implement.

45. For homework…
• Do “Ex. 2” online (analysis of introductions)
• Write an introduction based on your
“problem” exercise from today, e-mail it to me
by Thursday.

46. Online:

47. Discuss: Where’s the gap (“niche”)?

49. “C.A.R.S.” (John Swales)
YOUR (HIDDEN)
“POSITION”

50. HIDDEN “POSITION”

52. Review of “territory” and “niche”
(“moves”)
• Compare your homework (with the three
introductions) with a classmate’s. Do you
have the same answers?