2. Song of Salomon 1:2-4
Kiss me and kiss me again, for your
love is sweeter than wine. 3
How
fragrant your cologne; your name is
like its spreading fragrance. No
wonder all the young women love you!
4
Take me with you; come, let’s run!
The king has brought me into his
bedroom.

3. Relationships thrive when we
understand the five sexual
differences between husbands
and wives.
(Material adapted from Family Life International’s
Weekend to Remember Seminar)

4. The better you know your spouse
and yourself the better those 2.4
times a week most married
couples have sex can become,
instead of the “Social Security
Sex: A little bit each month, but
not enough to live on.”

5. 1. Attitude towards
sex:

6. a. Men- their emphasis is on
the physical aspect of sex.

7. Men view sex in a
“compartmentalized” way. What
that simply means is that most
men can have a big fight, lose
their job, miss the last shot that
would have won the game, and be
ready for sex that same day.

8. b. Women have a more
relational view of sex.

9. For women sex is holistic, which can be
illustrated this way: Think of a chest with six
drawers. One drawer is work, another is
motherhood, another finances, another conflict,
and another sex. For a woman to enjoy sex
completely, all drawers must be closed, except
for the sex drawer.

10. For a woman to enjoy sex completely, all
drawers must be closed, except for the sex
drawer.

11. For men, is different. They have a one
drawer chest. It’s called sex. It’s always
open.

12. Song of Solomon 2:16
My lover is mine, and I
am his. He browses
among the lilies.

13. 2. Stimulation during
sex.

14. a. Men are body
centered.

15. For men visual
stimulation is key, as
well as fragrance and
actions in the bedroom.

16. Women, there are three things
that stimulate men:
What they see.
What they smell.
How you move

17. b. Women are person
centered.

18. Key factors in stimulation:
•Touch
•Attitudes during love making
•Words that are spoken.
They need to know they are
more than a body to you.

19. Treat your wife like a harp not
a drum.

20. Song of Solomon 1:12
The king is lying on his couch,
enchanted by the fragrance of
my perfume. 13
My lover is like a
sachet of myrrh lying between
my breasts.

21. 3. Needs during sex.

22. a. Men put a high value on
respect.

23. Their performance is always on
their mind, even if they don’t say
it.

24. Men aspire to be physically
needed, and physical expression
is highly regarded.

25. Remember, wives, that sex is
probably the ONE thing you can do to
your husband that no other woman
can do, without it being a sin. Another
woman can wash his clothes, cook
him a meal, etc. Intimacy is the ONLY
interaction that is yours only. Do it
well.

26. b. Women need security. They
need that drawer to be closed shut
before total enjoyment is possible.

27. Women aspire to be emotionally
needed, and intimacy arrives when
that happens. It takes sex to another
level when the woman feels not only
wanted for the physical pleasure she
can bring, but when her whole being
is connected with her husband.

28. Men, practice something called
“non-sexual touching” during the
day, where you let your wife know
she is loved for who she is, not
just for what she does for you in
bed.

29. Song of Solomon 4:9
You have captured my heart,
my treasure, my bride.
You hold it hostage with one
glance of your eyes…

30. 4. Sexual response.

31. a. Men are acyclical,
which simply means,
they can be ready for
sex now.

32. Men can be compared to a
helicopter, in that quick excitement
is normative.

33. They are like a laser beam, once
locked in, very difficult to distract.

34. b. Women are cyclical (their
period being one factor).

35. This means that men need to
develop sensitivity to the ebb and
flow of the monthly cycle.

36. Women take longer to achieve
excitement, more like a 757
airplane than a helicopter and are
easily distracted (specially by
children moving around in the
house), some say that “Killer sex
makes kids, but kids kill sex.”

37. Here is an idea: A
wife of 33 years, and
her husband kept a
calendar, that showed
“fun days” on it, and
helped her husband
understand her cycle
better.

38. Song of Solomon 4:11
Your lips are as sweet as nectar,
my bride. Honey and milk are
under your tongue...12
You are my
private garden, my treasure, my
bride, a secluded spring, a hidden
fountain

39. 5. Achieving orgasm
during sex.

40. a. Men have a shorter more
intense orgasm, that many times
take less time to achieve.

41. They tend to be more physically
oriented, and the recovery time
takes longer.

42. b. Women have longer, more in
depth orgasms.

43. Women have orgasms that are
more emotionally oriented and it’s
easier to repeat than men.

44. Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a
seal on your arm. For love is as strong as
death…Love flashes like fire, the brightest
kind of flame. 7
Many waters cannot
quench love, nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love with all his
wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.

45. Final thoughts

46. 1. Sex is just about the only thing
that is exclusive to a couple. Do it
well.
2. Sex is like a thermostat of your
marriage. How is the temperature in
the bedroom?
3. Sex was created by God. It’s his
idea. Make him a part of this area.

47. Hebrews 13:4
Give honor to marriage,
and remain faithful to one
another in marriage.