Presentation to accompany my pitch for an idea for the Sports Podge luncheon 2011.

1. PODGEThomas Evans

2. The theme of my Podge lunch would be a launch of an entirely fictitious new Rugby league featuring the best of the best of the Northern Rugby League teams. The MEGA LEAGUE is comprised of 15 made up teams, who are supposed to represent the cream of Northern league talent. The website would be based on the current SUPERLEAGUE site, and would feature information on the teams and the history of the league.

3. This new, entirely made up league for the purposes of PODGE is called MEGA LEAGUE and has been laid on by Antipodean media mogul Herbert Mungo (Herbert won’t be present at the launch is he will be on a business trip in the Indian sub-continent brokering a deal to screen the Kabaddi league in India). A page on the website would introduce Herbert and explain what the league is all about.

4. MEGALEAGUE TEAMS 1 TintwistleWizards2 Selby Sealions3 Bootle Baboons4 Scunthorpe Seahorses5 HipperholmeHippos6 OdmerdonOrang-Utangs7 Pudsey Parakeets 8 TingleyTasmanian Devils9 Goole Ghouls10 Bingley Bandicoots11 Ackworth Armadillos12 Chorley Chimps13 Ormskirk Otters14 Glossop Groundhogs15 Ramsbottom Redheads Each table of 10 will be represent one of the teams for the day’s proceedings. The tables will be decorated in the team colours and the team’s logo will be prominently displayed. Teams will be pitted against each other in a variety of challenges throughout the day.

5. DESIGN COLLATERAL Invite Email Each specially selected guest will be notified of the momentous occasion via email. This will be a doctored version of the real SUPERLEAGUE logo, but made more ridiculous. The email will have all of the details about the event and an option to RSVP.

6. Email Receipt The email receipts will looks similar to a Rugby scoreboard (as below) and will feature the team logo in the background that the person was allocated to.

7. Email Reminder A follow up email to remind invitees of the impending event will showcase some of the razzmatazz that will be inherent in the new league – female invitees will receive an image featuring a nude star player, such as the hunk featured below: Male attendees would receive an invite featuring one of the leagues cheerleading squads, similar to the lovely Wakefield Wildcats Dolls pictured here below:

8. Seating The layout would be a represented by a rugby pitch, and the tables would be placed accordingly within the pitch. Doors and stages would also be represented to provide a visual reference for people to navigate by.

9. Table letters Table letters would have the logo of the team displayed prominently from the centre of the table, enabling guests to easily find their tables. All 15 logos would need designing, and could use the current Super League teams logos to as a guide to ascertain the correct look and feel. Each guest will have a player number, displayed on their seat, onto a miniature T shirt shaped card

10. Menu The Menu would be based on cards explaining Rugby techniques and moves, similar to the one pictured below. The food would appear on the left hand side and the right hand images would feature illustrated instructions on how to eat the food, i.e. ‘food is picked from’t side ut plate It goes into contact wit’ mouth From a quick chew food goes out t’ut back utmouth Furthermore , the entire menu would be written in a Yorks/Lancs dialect.

11. T’ut Starters surf & turf confit oxtail, seared scallop Vegetarian starters mezeplatter soup o' t' day T’utMaaincourse baked 'ake crushed new potatoa, sweet crab & basil vinagret T’ut Vegetarian Maaincourse wild mushrooms on’ttoasted brioche wi’ poached 'ens egg T’ut Desserts raspberry ripple bairkedalaskawhi' choclut& lemon iced parfay.

12. Lanyards The lanyards would be feature each of the teams colours and team logo

13. Staff T shirts Staff would wear T shirts bearing the MEGALEAGUE logo If each table has a dedicated waiter/waitress, that person would wear that table’s team logo.

14. Entertainments (each table / team pitted against each other) Stand up comic – Working Men’s club style, old school comedian Predator scrum machine (measures pack strength in pounds per square inch) Mechanical rugby ball Spot kick conversion challenge (netted) Pints mean prizes (amount of alcohol consumed by each table is measured – more booze means more points!) Rugby Quiz Performance by a real league cheerleading squad – i.e. the Wakefield Wildcat Dolls

15. Conclusion The central idea is to bring some ‘Northern glamour’ to the South, in the shape of a launch party for a new Rugby League headed by a fictitious media mogul. Tables are divided up by team, and all the event’s collateral will be based on the colours and logos of the various teams (which are all completely made up for the purpose of the event, but based on real Northern towns). The team that wins the most challenges wins a prize at the end of the day.