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Deads of portraits
1. PORTRAIT OF DEATH<br /> This sombre series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living. Life Before death is at the Wellcome Collection from April 9-May 18<br /> <br />Ünlü fotoğrafçı Walter Schels'in Londra'da açılan sergisi quot;
Ölümden önce yaşamquot;
ismini taşıyor. Schels ölümcül hastalığa yakalanmış modelleri kullandı. Onları ölümlerinden kısa bir süre önce ve öldükten hemen sonra görüntüledi. Walter Schels bu serginin nedenini The Guardian'a şöyle anlatıyor: quot;
Sona ulaştığınızda her türlü yalandan sıyrılıp, daha önce hiç olmadığınız kadar gerçek oluyorsunuz. Bir fotoğrafçı olarak ben de 'yalan olan herşeyden sıyrılmış' bu yüzlerin resmini çekmek istedim.quot;
İşte o fotoğraflar...<br />Edelgard Clavey, 67 yaşında hayata gözlerini yumdu. İlk portresi 5 Aralık 2003’te çekildi.<br />Edelgard Clavey, 67First portrait: December 5 2003 Edelgard was divorced in the early eighties, and lived on her own from then on; she had no children. From her early teens she was an active member of the Protestant church. She contracted cancer about a year before she died, and towards the end she was bed-bound. Once she was very ill she felt she was a burden to society and really wanted to die<br />Clavey ikinci portresinin çekildiği 4 Ocak 2004’te ebediyete kavuşmuştu.<br />Second portrait: January 4 2004quot;
Death is a test of one’s maturity. Everyone has got to get through it on their own. I want very much to die. I want to become part of that vast extraordinary light. But dying is hard work. Death is in control of the process, I cannot influence its course. All I can do is wait. I was given my life, I had to live it, and now I am giving it backquot;
<br /> <br />Maria Hai-Anh Tuyet Cao, 52 yaşında öldü. İlk portresi 5 Aralık 2003’te çekildi.<br />Maria Hai-Anh Tuyet Cao, 52First portrait: December 5 2003quot;
Death is nothing,” says Maria. “I embrace death. It is not eternal. Afterwards, when we meet God, we become beautiful. We are only called back to earth if we are still attached to another human being in the final seconds”<br /> <br />İkinci portresi ise 15 Şubat 2004’te, öldükten hemen sonra…<br />Second portrait: February 15 2004Maria’s thoughts on death are permeated with her belief in the teachings of her spiritual guru, Supreme Mistress Ching Hai; she believes she has already visited the afterlife in meditation. What Maria hopes is that she can achieve a sense of total detachment at the moment of death: she spends most of her time in the days leading up to her death preparing mentally for this<br /> <br />Elly Genthe’nin ilk portresi 31 Aralık 2002’de çekildi.<br />Elly Genthe, 83First portrait: December 31 2002Elly Genthe was a tough, resilient woman who had always managed on her own. She often said that if she couldn’t take care of herself, she’d rather be dead. When I met her for the first time, she was facing death and seemed undaunted: she was full of praise for the hospice staff and the quality of her care. But, when I visited again a few days later, she seemed to sense her strength was ebbing away.<br /> <br />83 yaşında öldüğünde tarih 11 Ocak 2003’tü. Ve böyle görünüyordu.<br />Second portrait: January 11 2003Sometimes during those last weeks she would sleep all day: at other times, she saw little men crawling out of the flower pots who she believed had come to kill her. “Get me out of here”, she whispered as soon as anyone held her hand. “My heart will stop beating if I stay here. This is an emergency! I don’t want to die!”<br /> <br />Beate Taube’un ilk portresi 11 Ocak 2004’te çekildi.<br />Beate Taube, 44First portrait: January 16 2004Beate had been receiving treatment for breast cancer for four years, but by the time we met she had had her final course of chemotherapy, and knew she was going to die. She had even been to see the grave where she was to be buried<br /> <br />İki ay sonra artık hayatta değildi. 10 Mart 2004’te böyle fotoğraflandı.<br />Second portrait: March 10 2004Beate felt that leaving her husband and children behind would be too difficult and painful if they were with her. At the moment of her death she was entirely alone — her husband was in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. He told me later that he was disappointed that he couldn’t be with her, holding her hand, but he knew this is what she had always said, that dying alone would be easier for her<br /> <br />Rita Schoffler’in ilk portresi 17 Şubat 2004’te çekildi.<br />Rita Schoffler, 62First portrait: February 17 2004Rita and her husband had divorced 17 years before she became terminally ill with cancer. But when she was given her death sentence, she realised what she wanted to do: she wanted to speak to him again. It had been so long, and it had been such an acrimonious divorce: she had denied him access to their child, and the wounds ran deep.<br /> <br />3 ay sonra 10 Mayıs 2004’te hayata gözlerini yumdu. 64 yaşındaydı ve bu onun son fotoğrafıydı.<br />Second portrait: May 10 2004When she called him and told him she was dying, he said he’d come straight over. It had been nearly 20 years since they’d exchanged a word, but he said he’d be there. “I shouldn’t have waited nearly so long to forgive and forget. I’m still fond of him despite everything.” For weeks, all she’d wanted to do was die. But, she said, “now I’d love to be able to participate in life one last time…”<br /> <br />Heiner Schmitz’in ilk portresi 19 Kasım 2003’te çekildi.<br />Heiner Schmitz, 52First portrait: November 19 2003Heiner was a fast talker, highly articulate, quick-witted, but not without depth. He worked in advertising. When he saw the affected area on the MRI scan of his brain he had grasped the situation very quickly: he had realised he didn’t have much time left.<br /> <br />14 Aralık 2003’te 52 yaşında hayata gözlerini yumdu ve bu portre çekildi.<br />Second portrait: December 14 2003Heiner’s friends clearly didn’t want him to be sad and were trying to take his mind off things. They watched football with him just like they used to do: they brought in beers, cigarettes, had a bit of a party in the room. “Some of them even say ‘get well soon’ as they’re leaving; ‘hope you’re soon back on track, mate!’” says Heiner, wryly. “But no one asks me how I feel. Don't they get it? I'm going to die!”<br /> <br />Gerda Strech’in ilk portresi 5 Ocak 2003’te çekildi.<br />Gerda Strech, 68First portrait: January 5 2003Gerda couldn’t believe that cancer was cheating her of her hard-earned retirement. “My whole life was nothing but work, work, work,” she told me. She had worked on the assembly line in a soap factory, and had brought up her children single-handedly. “Does it really have to happen now? Can’t death wait?” she sobbed<br /> <br />9 gün sonra hayata gözlerini yumdu. 68 yaşında son pozunu böyle verdi.<br /> <br />Roswitha Pacholleck’in ilk portresi 31 Aralık 2002’de çekildi.<br />Roswitha Pacholleck, 47First portrait: December 31 2002“It’s absurd really. It’s only now that I have cancer that, for the first time ever, I really want to live,” Roswitha told me on one of my visits, a few weeks after she had been admitted to the hospice. “They’re really good people here,” she said. “I enjoy every day that I’m still here. Before this my life wasn’t a happy one”<br /> <br />İkinci kez ise ölümünden hemen sonra 6 Mart 2003’te fotoğraflandı. 47 yaşındaydı.<br />Second portrait: March 6 2003But she didn’t blame anyone. Not even herself. She had made peace with everyone, she said. She appreciated the respect and compassion she experienced in the hospice. “I know in my mind that I am going to die, but who knows? There may still be a miracle.” She vowed that if she were to survive she would work in the hospice as a volunteer<br /> <br />Peter Kelling’in ilk portresi 29 Eylül 2003’te çekildi.<br />Peter Kelling, 64First portrait: November 29 2003Peter Kelling had never been seriously ill in his life. He was a civil servant working for the health and safety executive, and didn’t allow himself any vices. And yet one day he was diagnosed with bowel cancer. By the time I met him, the cancer had spread to his lungs, his liver and his brain. “I’m only 64,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t be wasting away like this”<br /> <br />Tam bir ay sonra 64 yaşında hayata gözlerini yumdu.<br />Barbara Gröne’in ilk portresi 5 Ocak 2003’te çekildi.<br />Barbara Gröne, 51First portrait: November 11 2003All her life, Barbara had been plagued by the idea that she has no right to be alive. She had been an unwanted baby: soon after her birth, her mother had put her into a home. But she had a strong survival instinct, and became very focused, she said, very disciplined in the way she lived. After much hard work, it seemed that life was at last delivering her a better hand<br /> <br />O da bu fotoğraf çekildikten 11 gün sonra 51 yaşında ebediyete kavuştu.<br />Second portrait: November 22 2003But then the cancer struck: an ovarian tumour, which had already spread to her back and pelvis. Nothing could be done. Abruptly her old fears returned: the familiar sense of worthlessness and sadness. At the end of her life, Barbara told me that she was overwhelmed by these feelings. “All my efforts were in vain”, she said. “It is as though I am being rejected by life itselfquot;
<br /> <br />Klara Behrens ilk portresi 6 Şubat 2004’te çekildi.<br />Klara Behrens, 83First portrait: February 6 2004Klara Behrens knows she hasn’t got much longer to live. “Sometimes, I do still hope that I’ll get better,” she says. “But then when I’m feeling really nauseous, I don’t want to carry on living. And I’d only just bought myself a new fridge-freezer! If I’d only known!”<br /> <br />3 Mart 2004’te de hayata gözlerini yumdu. Second portrait: March 3 2004quot;
I wonder if it’s possible to have a second chance at life? I don’t think so. I’m not afraid of death — I’ll just be one of the million, billion grains of sand in the desert…”<br />