4. Schulich
School of Business,
Toronto, CA,
Marketing Major
TAU
Recanati MBA
Technion, BSc
Computer Science
engineering
IDF Mamram
Extended
Programming
course
R&D Center
SW Developer
5. Head of Products
and Product
Marketing
SDK Partner Manager,
QM Manager,
Product Manager,
Technology Platform
General
Manager
Sr. SW
Developer &
Project Lead
VP Product
7. I was raised to appreciate excellency & hard skills
The year is 2007:
Things are not progressing as I wished
What am I missing here ???
8. Soft Skills
How to form alliances with people
How to take ownership
How to take responsibility: “fix more, complain less”
Be positive even when things not going exactly as you wanted
Create positive atmosphere around you
How to make visibility to what you do & to your achievements
How to manage difficult conversations & Conflicts
Maturity
10. Disagreement with colleagues
Matrix Management, make people work for you without authority
Give your employee feedback when his/her work in not good
enough / layoff
Get feedback from your boss
Ask something from your boss (raise, more ppl, promotion..)
All Have conflicts or potential conflicts
12. Basic tips to manage a conflict with a colleague :
http://leanin.org/education/managing-difficult-conversations/
Listen well (even if it’s hard & you don’t agree, do not interrupt)
Inquiry/ ask questions
(what do you say? Why ? What do you want to achieve?)
Validate your understanding / summarize the counterparty
Express your view (use first person, “I don’t understand”)
Engage in negotiations
Formalize the agreement (Agree Vs Promise)
13. What is a ‘Good’ Conversation?
When at the end of it you relate to these: I, WE , IT
I feel good about myself
The counterparty feels good
We related positively to each other
I got what I wanted
The counter party got what he wanted
14. Basic tips to hand conflicts of responsibility & control:
It is a process: You need to plant the ideas first, hoping they will grow over
time
Make a “lobby”, talk to people before
Come prepared (plans, research)
Show to key people, the benefits for the company
Suggest few things (hopefully some will be accepted)
Come with confidence
Try to make it sound less about ‘me’
Do not talk about others / compare to others
15. Dilemma #1
How to say ‘I want’:
What % of this challenge is because of my character and what %
is due to the fact I am a woman in a male environment?
Is a woman saying “I want” sounds different than a man saying
the same (“Assertive vs. aggressive?”)
16. Dilemma #2
Managing emotions:
Does male environment “speak” different language?
(“to the point”, “roughness”, “hide difficulties and needs”, “take place naturally w/o
effort)
Is asking to be included sounds (to the other side)
like “over-controlling”, “territorial”, “pushy”, “freak control”, “aggressive” ?
Is a male managerial environment make the challenge harder for women?
Should we control/repress our emotional communications or adopt to the male
environment?
Should we let our “feminine” emotional language be present and work on our
personal vulnerability?
17. What Do You Think?
Managing Emotions:
The hardest part? (especially for woman? )
19. Find your key strength (examples: work hard, attention to details,
organized work)
The bad news: It is all fair in war..(no such thing as “not fair”)
The good news: Most people are good, and usually it is not personal
against you
Try to avoid sarcasm , accusations
Personally, sometime I use my advantage: emotions are also creating
empathy, they are authentic.
20. It is a day-2-day struggle / way of life
Authentic but not accusing
Pusher but not overbearing
“Want” but not “crying”
Fit-in the codes without letting go of your way
Progress at work without letting go of your values and ambitions
and strength
23. “You never say thank
you!” “that’s what the
money is for!”
“you do your job so
well, and they
appreciate you, you
don’t have to play any
game…”
“you presented like a
man, now act like one..”
“I want 5 $ a week
more”
“see that’s why I don’t like
working with women, you
have no sense of humor…“
“You're fired!”
“I just saved this
company, but it’s not as
important as getting
married!”
“I don’t know if all
women are Jackie or
Marilyn, maybe men see
them that way..”
41 years old
From Kiryat Motzkin (Haifa)
Parents w/ no academic education
Education:
Army Service, Mamram (IDF’s computer school)
BSc, Computer Science Engineering, Technion (summa cum laude – top 3%)
MBA , Recanati business school, TAU , graduated with honors
Marketing Major, York business school , Toronto
Point A:
What do you study (physics, Math, Computer science)
Where do you study (Technion, MIT..)
What are your grades (Suma com laude)
Are you hard worker?
Do you deliver ?
PointB:
Over 10 successful years in Hi-tech, on different roles
BUT still: I felt like I am not in the place where I should be
People around me, that are getting ahead do not necessary stand up to the standard above.
1. Disagreement with colleagues
- how things should be handled
- the way we want things to work
- expectations
Use this template and you
will be surprised how it works
Example – marketing manager
The I the we and the IT
I feel good
We related positivly to each other
the goal was achieved
When you want to take an area, be responsible for a project
*Personal Dilemma: GW project (“freak control”, “territorial” ..)
- You win some you lose some
- You can not always get what you want, but..
- Keep it in proportion, it is only work…
While these dilemmas makes it hard,
we still need to find our way to do it , without being vulnerable/accusing ,feel like a victim out of strength.
--------- Final Words
You win some you lose some
You can not always get what you want, but..
Keep it in proportion, it is only work…
“see that’s why I don’t like working with women, you have no sense of humor… “ “You're fired!”
“I’m always saying: if you don’t like what they’re saying, change the conversation”
“I worked my way up!”
