Relentless hope is a defense to which patients cling in order not to have to feel the pain of their disappointment in the object – the hope a defense ultimately against grieving. The refusal to deal with the pain of their grief about the object (be it the infantile, a contemporary, or the transference object) fuels the relentlessness with which such patients pursue it, both the relentlessness of their hope that they might yet be able to make the object over into what they would want it to be and the relentlessness of their outrage in those moments of dawning recognition that, despite their best efforts and most fervent desire, they might never be able to make that actually happen. Psychodynamic psychotherapy offers these patients an opportunity, albeit belatedly, to grieve their early-on heartbreak – in the process transforming the defensive need to hold on into the adaptive capacity to relent, to forgive, to accept, to separate, to let go, and to move on. Realistic hope arises in the context of surviving disappointment and heartbreak. By the same token, it could be said that maturity involves transforming the infantile need to have one’s objects be other than who they are into the healthy capacity to accept them as they are. Clinical vignettes will be offered that highlight the translation of theory into practice and demonstrate the use of “disillusionment statements” to facilitate the grieving that needs to be done in order to transform relentless pursuit of the unattainable into sober, mature acceptance.