This is a nice area we could do an in-depth study

1. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Quotient
Emotional Maturity
Luxy K L MA; MSc; MPhil.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

2. Salutations
I appreciate your Daring Communitarian Spirit
and Existence as Knanaya Catholic Christians.

3. Intelligence
“Intelligence is the global ability to think
rationally, act purposefully and deal with the
environment effectively.”
(David Wechsler)

4. Emotional Intelligence
It is the awareness of one’s own
feelings/emotions, other’s feelings/emotions
and behave accordingly.
(Daniel Goleman)

6. Importance & Relevance of EI
• To lead a successful and a happy life here on
earth.
• Our world is a hostile world, if you want to
survive you should have adequate IQ, EQ and
SpQ.
• Money alone will not help you to do the entire
magic of life.

7. How to find out & improve our EQ
• Wheel of Emotions revolves around Temperament,
Character & personality.
• We should know the parameters, variables and
components of Temperament, Character, and
personality and train ourselves accordingly.
• After having completed secondary/ O-level, A-level
studies, … many people do not know the components of
T, C, P,
• This 1 hour pgm will be a crash course for cracking the
secrets of TCP and a stepping stone to improve/train our
EI/EQ/EM

9. Personality
“Personality is everything that makes you an
individual. It is the integration and interaction of
your genetic inheritance, your experience, and
your ways of relating the two.”
(Gordon Allport)

10. 5 Components of Personality
O – Openness
C – Conscientiousness
E – Extroversion
A - Agreeableness
N - Neuroticism

11. 4 Components of Temperaments
Novelty Seeking
Harm Avoidance
Persistence
Reward Dependence

12. Personality Disorder
PD Novelty S Harm A Reward D
Antisocial High Low Low
Histrionic High Low High
Pas.Aggress. High High High
Pas. Depend Low High High
Explosive High High Low
Obsessional Low High Low
Schizoid Low Low Low

13. 3 Components of Character
Self-directedness
Cooperativeness
Self-transcendence

15. Emotional Intelligence
It involves the ability to understand and manage emotions.
Experts agree that this type of intelligence plays an important
role in success, and some have suggested that emotional
intelligence might even be more important than IQ.
So what does it take to be emotionally intelligent? Psychologist
and best-selling author Daniel Goleman has suggested that there
are 5 components critical to EI.

16. 5 Components of EI
1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. True Emotional Understanding
4. Empathy
5. Intrinsic Motivation

17. Self-awareness
Self-awareness, or the ability to recognize and understand your own
emotions, is a critical part of emotional intelligence. Beyond just recognizing
your emotions, however, is being aware of the effect of your own actions,
moods, and emotions on other people.
These individuals are also capable of recognizing their own strengths and
limitations, are open to new information and experiences, and learn from
their interactions with others.
Goleman suggests that people who possess this self-awareness have a good
sense of humor, are confident in themselves and their abilities, and are
aware of how other people perceive them.
Have you ever known people who always seem to keep their cool, who are
able to handle even the most awkward social situations with grace, and who
always seem to make others feel at ease? Chances are pretty high that those
individuals possess what psychologists refer to as emotional intelligence.

18. Self-regulation
Emotional intelligence requires you to be able to regulate and
manage your emotions. This doesn't mean putting emotions on
lock-down and hiding your true feelings – it simply means
waiting for the right time, place, and avenue to express your
emotions. Self-regulation is all about expressing your emotions
appropriately.
Those who are skilled in self-regulation tend to be flexible and
adapt well to change. They are also good at managing conflict
and diffusing tense or difficult situations.
Goleman also suggests that those with strong self-regulation
skills are high in conscientiousness. They are thoughtful of how
they influence others and take responsibility for their own
actions.

19. True Emotional Understanding
True emotional understanding involves more than just
understanding your own emotions and the feelings of others -
you also need to be able to put this information to work in your
daily interactions and communications.
In professional settings, managers benefit by being able to build
relationships and connections with employees, while workers
can benefit by being able to develop a strong rapport with
leaders and co-workers.
Some important social skills include active listening, verbal
communication skills, nonverbal communication skills,
leadership, and persuasiveness.

20. Empathy
Empathy, or the ability to understand how others are
feeling, is absolutely critical to emotional intelligence.
But this involves more than just being able to recognize
the emotional states of others - it also involves your
responses to people based on this information.
When you sense that someone is feeling sad or
hopeless, for example, it will likely influence how you
respond to that individual. You might treat them with
extra care and concern or you might make an effort to
buoy their spirits.

21. Intrinsic Motivation
People who are emotionally intelligent are motivated by things
beyond mere external rewards like fame, money, recognition,
and acclaim. Instead, they have a passion to fulfill their own
inner needs and goals. They seek things that lead to internal
rewards, experience flow from being totally in tune with an
activity, and pursue peak experiences.
Those who are competent in this area tend to be action-
oriented. They set goals, have a high need for achievement, and
are always looking for ways to do better. They also tend to be
very committed and are good at taking the initiative when a task
is put forth before them.

24. SWOT Analysis
Do your SWOT
Strength
Weakness
Opportunities
Threats
Rewire your brain
Your brain is plastic – Neuroplasticity

25. Strengths
• 1.
• 2.
• 3.
• 4.
• 5.
• 6.
• 7.
• 8

26. Weaknesses
• 1.
• 2.
• 3.
• 4.
• 5.
• 6.
• 7.
• 8

27. Opportunities
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

28. Threats
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

30. Emotional Maturity
The most outstanding mark of Emotional
Maturity is the ability to bear tension,
indifference towards certain kinds of stimuli
that affect child or adolescent and he/she
develops sentimentality and moodiness.
(Cole, 1944)

31. EM
Emotionally mature person persists the
capacity for fun and recreation. He/she enjoys
both play and responsibility activities and
keeps them in proper balance.

32. EM
If the emotional development of the
individual is relatively complete, his/her
adaptability is high, his/her regressive
tendencies are low and his/her vulnerability is
minimal. (Seoul)

33. EM
It does not mean that an emotionally mature
person is not the one who has resolved all
conditions that arouse anxiety and hostility
but he continually involves in a struggle to
gain healthy integration of feeling, thinking
and action.

34. EMS
The authors had made a scale to measure the
emotional immaturity: Emotional Maturity
Scale (EMS)
Variables are emotional instability, emotional
regression, social maladjustment, personality
disintegration, and lack of independence.

36. What is Man? Homosapiens
Bird flies
Fish swims
Man feels

37. Homosapiens
Man is body
Man is mind
Man is spirit

38. Three Aspects of the MIND
• COGNITION = knowing, thinking
• AFFECTION = feeling, emotion
• CONATION = motivation, action

39. Mental Breakdown
STRESS COPING ABILITY
Severe Above Average
Moderate Average
Mild Below Average
NB: Improve your coping ability by becoming aware of your
assets and liabilities in the areas of emotionality and
personality.

40. Defense Mechanism
• Level – I: Pathological
• Level – II: Immature
• Level – III: Neurotic
• Level – IV: Mature

41. Psychology as a Discipline should be
as Concerned with:
• strength as with weakness
• building the best things in life as in repairing
the worst
• making the lives of normal people fulfilling as
with healing pathology
(Seligman, 2007)

42. -VE vs. +VE TOPICS
IN PSY. JOURNAL ARTICLES: 1887 TO 2001
• 9,760 on “anger”
• 65,531 on “anxiety”
• 79,154 “depression”
• 20,868 on “fear”
• 207,110 “treatment”
• 1,021 on “joy”
• 4,129 “lifesatisfaction”
• 3,522 on “happiness”
• 781 on “courage
• 31,019 “prevention”

43. FIELD OF +ve PSYCHOLOGY
• At the Subjective Level – It is Positive
Subjective Experience
• Well-being and Satisfaction (past)
• Flow of Joy, the Sensual Pleasures + Happiness
(present)
• Optimism, Hope, + Faith (future)

44. FIELD OF +ve PSYCHOLOGY
• At the Individual Level—POSITIVE PERSONAL
TRAITS
• The capacity for love and vocation, courage,
interpersonal skill, aesthetic sensibility,
perseverance, forgiveness, originality, future-
mindedness, high talent and wisdom.

46. Level One Maturity
Basic Emotional Responsibility
• When a person reaches level one of emotional maturity,
they realize that they can no longer view their emotional
states as the responsibility of external forces such as
people, places, things, forces, fate, and spirits.
• They learn to drop expressions from their speech that
show dis-ownership of feelings and a helpless or victim
attitude towards their feelings. Expressions such as:
"They made me feel insulted . . ,"
"It made me feel . . . ,"
"I made them feel. . . ,“

47. Level - I
• Any others that denote external emotional responsibility are
first changed into "I" statements as opposed to "You" or
blaming statements.
• They are, eg., changed from, "You make me so mad when you
do that," to "I feel mad when you do that because,. . . ."
• People learn at this level to regularly use the following
expressions:
"When you did . . . , I felt . . . , because . . . ."
"When . . . happened, I felt . . . , because . . . .“

48. Level - I
As time and maturity advance, they begin to use even
more accurate statements that inhibit the Blame Game
such as:
"I chose to feel . . . when I did . . . , because . . . ."
"I choose to feel . . . whenever . . . happens, because . . . ."
"I chose to feel . . . when he/she/it did . . . , because . . . ."
"I am in the habit of choosing to feel . . . whenever my/your
. . . says anything to me, because . . . ."

49. Level Two Maturity
Emotional Honesty
Emotional honesty concerns the willingness of the person to
know and own their own feelings. This is a necessary step to
self-understanding and acceptance. The issues of resistance
to self-discovery are dealt with at this level. They are related
solely to the person's conscious and unconscious fears of
dealing directly with the critical voices they hear inside. In the
past, they have typically lost all interactions with this internal
adversary, so their fears are justified. Now, however, they
know how to choose to feel so that they can keep from being
destroyed, or they can choose not to interact with their
accuser at all.

50. Level - II
The realization of the old maxim, "To thine own self be
true," is the primary goal at this level. This means that
we are always true to what we feel: we do not hide,
stuff, suppress, or repress what we feel, but honestly
experience it at this level of maturity. Here, you are at
least honest with yourself about how you really feel. As
a secondary goal on this level, people learn to locate
others with whom they can safely share their real
feelings, their real selves. Such work to never again
accept self as behavior.

51. Level Three Maturity
Emotional Openness
This level concerns the person's willingness and
skills in sharing their feelings in an appropriate
manner and at appropriate times. Persons at
this level experience and learn the value of
ventilating feelings, and also the dangers
involved in hiding feelings from self and
others. Self-disclosure is the important issue
at this level of work.

52. Level - III
Yet, it will never be as important as the willingness of
the person to be open to experiencing all of their
feelings as they arise without the critical voices they
hear inside trying to change, control, or condemn
them. The dangers of suppressing feelings, and the
values inherent in exploring and allowing all feelings
internal expression are investigated further. At this
level, one has the openness, the freedom to experience
any emotion without the need, the compulsion to
suppress or repress it.

53. Level Four Maturity
Emotional Assertiveness
• The person at this level of work enters a new era
of positive self-expression. The primary goal here
is to be able to ask for and to receive the
nurturing that one needs and wants--first from
self and then from others.
• As a secondary goal, persons should learn how to
express any feeling appropriately in any situation,
i.e., without aggressive overtones. This person
makes time for their feelings--they prize and
respect them. Such understand the connection
between suppressed feelings, stress, and illness.

54. Level Five Maturity
Emotional Understanding
• Persons on this level understand the actual cause and effect
process of emotional responsibility and irresponsibility.
• Self-concepts are known as "the" problem. They realize that it
is not possible to have a so-called good self-concept without a
complimentary bad self-concept. Such experience firsthand,
that because of the nature of knowledge and the formation of
self-concepts, that all self-concepts contain their opposites.
Knowing that though we may hide one half in darkness
(unconsciousness) it is still active in us; they begin to regularly
leap beyond the pitfalls of self-concepts, self-images, and self-
constructs. This knowledge of the Unity of Opposites (of self-
concepts, of knowledge) is applied to new situations daily.

55. Level - V
Other understandings at this level include the following:
•attempts to capture a moment of self can only kill the self
as the self is a living process and not knowledge or
memory; to reduce self to knowledge is literally to kill it;
one either has their self and is alive and experiencing, or
one has found their self as knowledge and lost it.
•Self-concepts are always externally referenced by their
very nature, and thus forever the perfect targets and hooks
for the Blame Game.

56. Level - V
• Knowing that self-concepts are the only hooks that can be used in
the Blame Game, people at this level remember to work on seeing
their own self-concepts and finding release from their own.
• Self-knowledge is used to free the self from self-concepts on this
level rather than to form them and imprison the self in them.
• The main work here is a total shift from identifying with any self-
concepts to identifying only with the true self.
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth
itself against the knowledge of God,. …....” (2 Cor. 10:5)
"He that findeth his life shall lose it . . ……" (Mat. 10:39)

57. Level Six Maturity
Emotional Detachment
• At this level the person lives without the burden and snare of
self-concepts, self-images, self-constructs, and all group-
concepts and thing-concepts. They are only aware of self as
process, as a sensing being, as an experiencing being, as a
living vessel, as unknowable and un-trappable--because it is
alive and not static or fixed.
• They have died to the life of self as self-concepts. True
detachment from all self-concepts has occurred. Thus true
detachment from others has also occurred, which means that
absolute emotional responsibility has been achieved (actually
discovered).

58. Level - VI
• Not having self-concepts to defend or
promote, this person can remain
unaffected by the Blame Game, and even
experiences unconditional love for their
enemies.
"That every one of you should know how
to posses his vessel in sanctification and
honor;" (I Thes. 4:4)

59. References
• Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman
• Self-Concept: The Enemy Within,
• The Secret of Maturity: Or How Not to be
Codependent, Second Edition, by Kevin
Everett Fitz Maurice. © 1990, 1989.