3. Habit 1 in Our Paradigms
4. Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our happiness.
تَبَسَك اَمِبَف ٍةَبي ِصُّم نِِّم مُكَباَصَأ اَم َوٍٍيَِِك نََ وَُُْي َو مُكيِِيَأ
Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because on the things your hands have
wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness. (Ash-Shura:30)
5. Pause Button in family
• You say things you don’t mean.
• You do things you regret later.
• Helps you develop ability to act based on
principles and values rather than reacting
based on emotions or circumstances.
6. • Self-Awareness: Ability to act instead of react.
• Conscience: Moral sense and moral power
• Imagination: Ability to envision something
entirely different from your past experience
• Will Power: Power to take action
18. Result of Proactivity
• We are not free to choose the consequences
of the actions
• Consequences reside in Circle of Concern
• When we pick up on end of stick, we pick up
• If we have choice to make over again, we
would make it differently (Mistakes)
• We cant recall, undo or control mistakes done
22. Compassion and no
Create Proactive experiences in mind
Listen to your language
Admit mistakes, Don’t blame
Don’t be judgmental, Be part of solution
Make small commitments, fulfill them
23. Habit 1 and Family
Every problem is opportunity to make a
24. Empowering aspect of Emotional
• Somebody's “bad day” becomes and
opportunity to be kind
• An offense becomes an opportunity to
apologize, to forgive
• Somebody's gossip becomes an opportunity
to be loyal, to quietly defend those not
25. Instead of making withdrawal by You make deposit by
Speaking disrespectfully, putting people
down, or acting in rude or discourteous
Never saying ‘I am Sorry’ or saying it
Criticizing, complaining, and talking about
others in negative ways when they are
Being loyal to those who not present
Never making commitments to anyone, or
making commitments but rarely following
Making and keeping promises
Being quick to make offense, holding
grudges, throwing peoples past mistakes
upto them and nurturing grievances
27. Place issues in concerns or
Traffic Jam Circle of
Circle of Influence
Circle of Concern
28. “You have control over three things:
what you think, what you say, and how
you behave. To make a change in your
life, you must recognize these gifts are
the most powerful tools you possess in
shaping for form of your life.”
29. "The likeness of the man who observes the limits
prescribed by God and that of the man who transgresses
them is like the people who get on board a ship after
casting lots. Some of them are in its lower deck and some
of them in its upper deck. Those who are in its lower
deck, when they require water, go to the occupants of the
upper deck. The occupants of the lower deck said to
themselves, 'If we make a hole in the bottom of the ship,
we shall not harm the ones who are in the upper deck.' If
they leave them to carry out their design they all will be
drowned. But if they do not let them go ahead (with their
plan), all of them will remain safe.”
31. Develop Proactivity
• Pick one situation in past one week, when you
responded in reactive way? Describe it in
• Think of few proactive responses you might
have used in the same situation. Write them.
32. Deeper Focus….
• What are you unhappy or frustrated about?
• Write situations where you feel powerless,
hopeless or used?
• What is stimulus to your frustration or
• How did you response?
• What other choices exist?
33. Another Dimension…
• Measure how important the situation is to you
on scale of 1-5
• Assess your initial reaction (frustration, anger,
• See the stimulus/response model in your mind
• Think about a proactive response
• Engage or exit
• Review your performance to see how proactive
34. To get in touch….
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser @ HamarayBachchay
Notas do Editor
Large circle that embraces everything in your life that you may be concerned about.
Make list of all your concerns in your family…
Circle of influence is smaller circle within the circle of concern….. Embraces the things you can actually do something about…
Sort from your list concern and influence
Proactive: work on things they can do something about, positive, enlarging and magnifying energy
Reactive: focus on weakness of other person, problem in environment, circumstances…blame, accuse, victim mentality
Focus on your language: blaming, accusing, reactive
Or something u can bring change in