1. Habit 1
Being
Proactive
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser

2. 25-50 % difference
5000 % difference

3. Habit 1 in Our Paradigms
Feeling
Thoughts
Behavior
Proactivity

4. Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our happiness.
‫ت‬َ‫ب‬َ‫س‬َ‫ك‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ِ‫ب‬َ‫ف‬ ٍ‫ة‬َ‫ب‬‫ي‬ ِ‫ص‬ُّ‫م‬ ‫ن‬ِِّ‫م‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬َ‫ب‬‫ا‬َ‫ص‬َ‫أ‬ ‫ا‬َ‫م‬ َ‫و‬ٍٍ‫ي‬َِِ‫ك‬ ‫ن‬ََ ‫و‬َُُْ‫ي‬ َ‫و‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ك‬‫ي‬ِِ‫ي‬َ‫أ‬
Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because on the things your hands have
wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness. (Ash-Shura:30)

5. Pause Button in family
matters
• You say things you don’t mean.
• You do things you regret later.
• Helps you develop ability to act based on
principles and values rather than reacting
based on emotions or circumstances.

6. • Self-Awareness: Ability to act instead of react.
• Conscience: Moral sense and moral power
• Imagination: Ability to envision something
entirely different from your past experience
• Will Power: Power to take action

7. Focus for Proactivity?
How large is your circle?

8. Questionnaire Time ….
• Think out of box

10. Check your focus
No Concern
Circle of Concern

11. Place issues in concerns or
influence
Circle of Influence
Circle of Concern

15. Self-Inflicted Emotional Myopia
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence

16. Vision for Family Relationships

17. The other end of the
stick
Consequences/ Mistakes

18. Result of Proactivity
• We are not free to choose the consequences
of the actions
• Consequences reside in Circle of Concern
• When we pick up on end of stick, we pick up
other
• If we have choice to make over again, we
would make it differently (Mistakes)
• We cant recall, undo or control mistakes done

19. Deeper Thought
Circle of Influence
Circle of Concern
Consequences
Mistakes
Commitments
Promises

20. Where to start
Develop Proactive Capacity

21. Build Emotional Bank
Account

22. Compassion and no
Accusation
Create Proactive experiences in mind
Listen to your language
Admit mistakes, Don’t blame
Don’t be judgmental, Be part of solution
Make small commitments, fulfill them

23. Habit 1 and Family
Every problem is opportunity to make a
deposit

24. Empowering aspect of Emotional
Bank Account
• Somebody's “bad day” becomes and
opportunity to be kind
• An offense becomes an opportunity to
apologize, to forgive
• Somebody's gossip becomes an opportunity
to be loyal, to quietly defend those not
present

25. Instead of making withdrawal by You make deposit by
Speaking disrespectfully, putting people
down, or acting in rude or discourteous
ways
Being kind
Never saying ‘I am Sorry’ or saying it
insincerely
Apologizing
Criticizing, complaining, and talking about
others in negative ways when they are
not around
Being loyal to those who not present
Never making commitments to anyone, or
making commitments but rarely following
through
Making and keeping promises
Being quick to make offense, holding
grudges, throwing peoples past mistakes
upto them and nurturing grievances
Forgiving

26. Proactivity H.W

27. Place issues in concerns or
influence
Challenge/
Problem
Area Response
Traffic Jam Circle of
Concern
Anger,
irritability
Circle of Influence
Circle of Concern

28. “You have control over three things:
what you think, what you say, and how
you behave. To make a change in your
life, you must recognize these gifts are
the most powerful tools you possess in
shaping for form of your life.”
--Sonya Friedman

29. "The likeness of the man who observes the limits
prescribed by God and that of the man who transgresses
them is like the people who get on board a ship after
casting lots. Some of them are in its lower deck and some
of them in its upper deck. Those who are in its lower
deck, when they require water, go to the occupants of the
upper deck. The occupants of the lower deck said to
themselves, 'If we make a hole in the bottom of the ship,
we shall not harm the ones who are in the upper deck.' If
they leave them to carry out their design they all will be
drowned. But if they do not let them go ahead (with their
plan), all of them will remain safe.”

30. Determine
your
proactivity!
HomeWork!!!

31. Develop Proactivity
• Pick one situation in past one week, when you
responded in reactive way? Describe it in
detail.
• Think of few proactive responses you might
have used in the same situation. Write them.

32. Deeper Focus….
• What are you unhappy or frustrated about?
• Write situations where you feel powerless,
hopeless or used?
• What is stimulus to your frustration or
unhappiness?
• How did you response?
• What other choices exist?

33. Another Dimension…
• Measure how important the situation is to you
on scale of 1-5
• Assess your initial reaction (frustration, anger,
fear)
• See the stimulus/response model in your mind
• Think about a proactive response
• Engage or exit
• Review your performance to see how proactive
you were

34. To get in touch….
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser @ HamarayBachchay
hbheadoffice@gmail.com