The Nitty-Gritty
of
Arguments!
Even in cases when there’s no clear-cut “right” or “wrong,” but just differences of opinion,
it’s nice to feel that your opinion is more logical and accurate than the other person’s.
It’s a part of
human nature
to want to feel
good about
yourself, to
feel that you’ve
got all the
facts and were
able to come
to the right
conclusions.
Everybody
likes to be
right.
…and it
then ends up
being a “me vs. them”
type of situation, even if
I didn’t mean for it
to get personal.
Just for your
information, Kyle,
I looked it up
online!
All right
then, but it’s
not necessary
to go raising
your voice.
DR. J. CHRIST
RELATIONSHIP
COUNSELING
When I get
into a disagreement
with someone, I feel
very strongly about my
opinion,…
What
is it about
arguments?
777

Remember, though, that it’s more important to preserve your relationship with that
person than to prove a point.
Why is it so difficult to stop an argument?...
But that’s the worst thing you can do, because eventually you will have to back down, and the
longer you’ve been arguing, the more difficult that will be.
...Sometimes
even though I know
that I’m wrong, or the
other person has the
facts on their side, I
still find it very hard
to admit that and to
concede it.
One reason it’s
difficult to stop an
argument is, like you
pointed out,...
Even though the
other person may
be a good friend
or someone you
feel close to,…
Okay.
Just don’t
get so bent
out of
shape.
I am not
raising my
voice!
...it’s tough
admitting that
you may be
wrong.
It sometimes even feels
like it would be easier to
keep arguing your point,
just for the sake of it.
Look ...
maybe you’re
right. ...
…your hurt feelings could cloud your
vision and prevent you from seeing things in
as levelheaded a way as you normally would.
Bent out
of shape!!
Me?

You’ll never be
right all the
time, and there
will be plenty
of arguments
where you’re
actually wrong.
The
sooner
you’re
willing to
admit that
you’re in
the wrong,
the easier
it will be.
If you’re
having a
disagreement
with someone
and you realize
that your
opinion was
wrong, maybe
because you
didn’t see the
full picture
or weren’t
aware of all
of the facts,
admit that.
It may seem
like the most
difficult
thing to do,
but in reality
you’re saving
yourself a lot
of trouble
later on.
look, I
feel bad that
we’re ruining
our day off
together
like this.
But I
just don’t
see why you
have to come on
so strong…
Talk about
it!
But you
brought up
the subject.
What?
Yah. As
far as I was
concerned, it was
water under the
bridge.
Me too! A
non-issue.
Why I have
to? Have you ever
considered how
you are coming
across?

You don’t need to be calm and fully focused in order to ask for My help, you simply need to
ask for help and be willing to do your part.
What if I don’t feel I can stop “just like that”?
Do You
have any tips
that could make it
easier for me?
It’s just like
you to make a
mountain out of
a molehill.
So what
do you mean by
that? that it’s all
my fault?
when you’re engaged
in an argument with someone,
it can be especially difficult to
know how to reestablish a
good connection.
you can always send
up a plea for help.
Call on Me and say,
“Jesus, please help
me to end this.”
Jesus,
please help me
to end this!
Please give
me humility,
honesty, and
peace.
But even if you feel a lot of pent-up frustration and brewing hostility,

If you can
honestly admit
that you were
wrong,…
The two most important aspects of stopping an
argument are humility and honesty.
then the
argument
can come to
a close,...
…and do so
in a humble
and gracious
manner,…
I can help
to release
you from
the urge
to keep
arguing,
and
give you
counsel
for that
situation.
So what was
that row about
that we had last
week?
Umm ... I
forget. ...
...and you will most likely
have kept a friend.
Sorry for
pushing my
point like that,
Kyle.
And
give me
some Ideas
on how to
go about
it. ...
And
forgive
me for
my stinky
attitude.

but a heated argument rarely solves anything,
and you would often be wise to try to end it,
even in those cases.
Often it doesn’t matter at the time who’s right and
who’s wrong.
Okay, so that’s if I’m wrong. But what if I’m sure
that I’m actually right, and that it’s the other
person who should back down?
It can’t
always be me
who gives
in! ...
Let’s see.
Raisa could
be right…
There will
be times when you
are right,…
I don’t
think you’re
getting my point,
Kyle!
Yes I am,
Raisa. in bold
italics!
!
?

In the end, it
is always more
productive
to end an
argument
and be a
peacemaker
than to
continue with
an argument—
even though
you may be
right.
It’s natural to want
to feel vindicated
and like you’ve
proven yourself
right, but it never
accomplishes
as much as a
more diplomatic
and easygoing
approach.
…so trying to badger the
other person to take on
your views is pointless.
Eventually the other
person will see what
is right,...
It’s just that
you’re so ...
oops!
Oh, hi
guys.
Umm ...
Kyle is
taking us for
a game of
soccer.
Er ...
Kyle...
I’m so
sorry. Please
forgive my attitude.
Have a nice time
with the kids.
Uh, Ry?
yes?
You know …
I looked into
it a bit, and…
It
seems
you’re
right.

The things done for love and in love live on.
You can be the
better person
by choosing to
defend your
friendship;
Whether you’re right or wrong in the argument,
give your pride the boot on this one!
that requires humility and being willing to preserve your friendship over your pride.
Strive for love and unity:
…and best of all they
work in your life to
teach you to be a more
humble and loving
vessel…
they endure
beyond
today,
beyond the
moment…
the camaraderie
gained will
prove far
more useful in
your life than
having won an
argument.
…a closer
reflection of Me
to others.
An argument is still an
argument, regardless
of which side you’re
defending.
You’ve
been with my
daughter about
five years now,
right?
Yes.
And what an
example of
humility...
Unity rules!
WHAM!
Like this
time when we
were having an
argument,
she...
A few years later
Originally published July 2008; adapted. Illustrations and layout by Jeremy.
Copyright © 2012 by The Family International