Style in Creative Writing

Style
In creative writing
Style. ENGL 151L 1

3 impressionist paintings
Style. ENGL 151L 2

of the samething - boats
Style. ENGL 151L 3

But so very different
because of . ..
Style. ENGL 151L 4

The painters made
different style choices:
different brush strokes,
colors,textures …
STYLE STYLE
Style. ENGL 151L 5

…different
perspectives. These
boats are seen from
above.
Style. ENGL 151L 6
And those different style choices create different feelings. This
painting of boats feels summery,fun, upbeat, playful – right?

But this painting uses a very different style that creates a
heavier feeling. It might even be a different season of the
year.
Style. ENGL 151L 7

In creativewriting,style
is the writer’sstamp. It
gives the piecea voice
readerscan hear and
relateto. It helps set the
tone. And in fiction as in
life, the style of
someone’s speechreveals
what kind of person they
are (known as
characterization).
I keep Raymond on the inside
of me and he plays like he’s
driving a stage coach which is
OK by me so long as he doesn’t
run me over or interrupt my
breathing exercises, which I
have to do on account of I’m
serious about my running, and
I don’t care who knows it.
Do you hear a voice? Canyou
guess theage? Feelthe
attitude?
From Raymond’s Run by Toni Cade Bambara
Style. ENGL 151L 8

 The choice of words:
• casual vs formal (or colloquial vs “standard” English)
• concrete vs abstract
• usual vs unusual (or conversational vs poetic)
 The order of the words:
• casual vs formal
• expected vs surprising
• usual vs unusual
 The Sentences:
• short vs long (or simple vs complex)
• mainly the same vs much variety
Style. ENGL 151L 9
Style is based on the Words (diction),
the Word Order(syntax) andthe Sentences

Analyzing style in a short passage
I keep Raymond on the
inside of me and he
plays like he’s driving a
stage coach which is OK
by me so long as he
doesn’t run me over or
interrupt my breathing
exercises, which I have
to do on account of I’m
serious about my
running, and I don’t care
who knows it.
 The choice of words: Some dialect, “on
account of.” Mostly plain language (fits
her age). Poetic in spots, as when
describing her feeling before & during
races (p. 5). = believable quippy kid
 The order of the words: Follows
grammar rules. In spots is more
unusual: “There is no track meet that I
don’t win the first-place medal.” =
Strong voice, confident.
 The Sentences: One long sentence.
Breathless, fast. The story has many
long sentences, some short. Good
variety. Changes up pace. = The feel of
a real person thinking & figuring stuff
out.
Style. ENGL 151L 10

More about WORD CHOICE
(diction)
•casual vs formal
•concrete vs abstract
•usual vs unusual (or prosaic vs poetic)
Style. ENGL 151L 11

As with colors, there is a range of word choices
Style. ENGL 151L 12
Home
Crib
Pad
Place
House
Residence
Dwelling
Abode

And each choice comes with
a certain style and tone
Home– Warm feeling.Home is where theheart is.“There’sno place like
home,there’snoplacelikehome..”
House– Coldimpersonalfeeling.A newhouse on the block.
Crib– Modern, hip, youthful.“Now thiscrib's abouttokickoff,this party
looks wack.”
Pad– Once modern,beatnikthenhippie.“Let’sgo backtomy pad.”
Place –Neutralfeelingand casual.“Niceplace you got here.”
Residence–Neutralfeelingand formal.Officiallanguage.“Stateyour
residence.”
Abode– Fancy, poeticdiction.Pretentious?“Welcometomy humble
abode.”(But haha not a humblewordchoice)
Style. ENGL 151L 13

What’sup, hi,heythere,greetings,peace,peace beuntoyou
Seeya, so long,bye, goodbye,live long&prosper
Walk,takea walk,stroll,meander,perambulate
Leave,split,takeoff,flythecoop, decamp,absquatulate(yes, that’sa
word)
Style. ENGL 151L 14
Writers choose words thatfit their purpose, justas you choose
clothes thatfittheoccasion . . .

Word choices range between the
1) Casual and Formal
Style. ENGL 151L 15

Changing Updike’s Diction in “A & P”
from very casual to formal
In walks these three girls in bathing suits.
The diction, or choice of words, adds to the casual feeling created by
the syntax. More dressed-up would be: Three girls in
bathing suits entered.
Changes the tone. But that “in” is still fairly casual. So how about:
Three girls wearing bathing suits entered.
Or we could go fully formal: Three young women
wearing bathing attire entered.
Now we have completely lost Sammy’s adolescent voice. Different
story entirely.
Style. ENGL 151L 16

2) The ConcreteandAbstract
Style. ENGL 151L 17
The Gleaners by Jean Francois Millet Farmers At Work by Georges
Seurat

Concrete to Abstract Words
Story tellers tend to use concrete words to create a real-feelingworld
Concrete and specific
RedHonda witha dented bumper
Rhododendron
Ride the ellipticalfor 20 minutes
Square piece of old parchment
Abstract and vague
Damagedcompact car
Bush
Exercise a while
Paper
Style. ENGL 151L 18

Good writingis oftenvery specificand concrete.
I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not
to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet
bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of
understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time
and chance happeneth to them all. From Ecclesiastes
To show how empty bad writing can be, George Orwell translated that beautiful
Biblical passage into abstract, bureaucratic English:
Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena
compel the conclusion that success or failure in
competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be
commensurate with innate capacity, but that a
considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably
be taken into account.
Style. ENGL 151L 19

and 3) The Usual vs the Unusual
(or Prosaicand Poetic)
Prosaic: Common speech, usual, every day, ordinary
Poetic: Elevated speech, special occasion, unusual, using
metaphor, alliteration, images, rhythm and meter
Usual: The sun went down.
A bit poetic: The sun dropped below the horizon.
A tad more unusual: The golden orb of the sun sank
from sight.
Full on poetic: The fiery chariot achieved
its destination at long last and moved
beyond the grasp of human vision.
Style. ENGL 151L 20

Cormac McCarthy (author of No Country for Old
Men) is know for unusual, poetic word choices
Schmoop has a brief analysis of McCarthy’s diction here. They quote this stunning passage
from The Road. I’ve underlined unusual word choices. We see hard words and also common
words used in uncommon ways:
He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms
outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked
out their reckonings. An old chronicle. To seek out the upright. No fall
but preceded by a declination. [< 3 sentence fragments] He took great
marching steps into the nothingness, counting them against his return.
Eyes closed, arms oaring. Upright to what? Something nameless in the
night, lode or matrix. To which he and the stars were common satellite.
Like the great pendulum in its rotunda scribing through the long day
movements of the universe of which you may say it knows nothing and
yet know it must.
For up to 10 bonus points send an email explaining how the verbs “oaring” or “scribing”
are used here. Hint: they are implied metaphors. See next week’s lecture about figures of
speech for help with that.
Style. ENGL 151L 21

More about WORD ORDER
(Syntax)
•casual vs formal
•expected vs surprising
•usual vs unusual
Style. ENGL 151L 22

Changing Updike’s Synyax in “A & P”
from slightly unusual to usual
In walks these three girls in bathing suits.
“In walks” is a very casual opening with a lot of voice. The voice is
created by the unusual word order. More usual would be Three
girls in bathing suits walked in. Right?
As with “Raymond’s Run,” the non-standard style choice helps us hear
a real voice and get to know the character, Sammy. With a 1st person
“I” story, style is more important. There is no 3rd person narrator to
tell us what sort of person the main character is. We have to feel it by
the way they talk.
Style. ENGL 151L 23

Another youthful main character speaks with
style, from the classic To Kill a Mockingbird
Style
Scout’s word choice and word
order are distinct, creating a
strong, real-sounding voice
Ain’t everybody’s
daddy the deadest
shot in Macomb
County.
No style
“Standard” formal English
loses that voice
Not everyone’s father
is the best shot in
Macomb County.
Style. ENGL 151L 24

Eloquent you have become:
How changingword order adds emphasis and grace
Don’t ask what your country
can do for you…
I’ll go where you go
The sailor is home
He who loves everything
large and small prays better
You have become powerful. I sense
the dark side in you.
Up to 20 Bonus Opp: Go to 3 links here from the right
side, find a memorable quote in each, explain how the
diction adds force. Email in quotes & explanation.
Ask not what your country can do for
you, but what you…
Where you go, I will go
Home is the sailor
He prayeth best, who loveth best All
things both great and small
Powerful you have become, the dark
side I sense in you.
Style. ENGL 151L 25

Syntax isn’t just about style. It’s about grammar too. Wrong
word order results in wrong meaning. Keep related words
together. Say what you meant to say.
I will call my mother in Costa Rica and tell her all about Marcel taking
me out to dinner for just two dollars. Oops. Will your mother like this
cheap guy? Is that what you meant? Or did you mean: For just two
dollars, I can call my mother in Costa Rica and tell her all about
Marcel taking me out to dinner. Oh…cheap phone card.
He found only one good sale at the outlet. < fact, implying many
good sales were expected. Not a great outlet.
He only found one good sale… < same fact but possible critical tone
(he’s not the best shopper)
Only he found a good sale... < different fact: no one else found any
good sales; he’s an amazing shopper!
Which did you mean?Style. ENGL 151L 26

SENTENCE STRUCTURE
•short vs long (or simple vs complex)
•mainly the same vs much variety
Style. ENGL 151L 27

Short sentences and stacked sentences
Short & Simple - One independent clause
• I do not dance on my toes. I run. (Raymond’s Run)
• In walks these three girls in bathing suits. (A & P)
• It was in the main ballroom of the leading hotel. (Battle Royal)
• The grandmother had the peculiar feeling that the bespectacled man was
someone she knew. (A Good Man is Hard to Find)
Compound–Two or more simples sentences stacked up (joined by andor but)
• Then the second-graders line up and I don’t even bother to watch because
Raphael Perez always wins. (Raymond’s Run)
• All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I looked
someone tried to tell me what it was. (Battle Royal)
• His voice seemed about to crack and the grandmother’s head cleared for an
instant. (A Good Man is Hard to Find)
Style. ENGL 151L 28

A very compound sentence
Some authors like to
stack three or more
clauses into one
sentence, all joined by
and. Hemingway was
known for this, and here
Susan Minot stacks up
simple clauses to create
an effect in “Lust” (274).
We started off at the end of
the couch and then our feet
were squished against the
armrest and then he went over
and turned off the TV and
came back after he had taken
off his shirt and then we slid
onto the floor and he got up
again to close the door, then
came back to me, a body
waiting on the rug.
Style. ENGL 151L 29

 Complex sentences
A complex sentence combines simple independent clauses with dependent clauses. A
dependent clause is just a group of words that can’t stand alone, such as this.
Complex sentences need joining words to add on those dependent clauses: but,
because, since, after, while, although, when, that, who, which. Some clauses interrupt
the sentence and are separated by dashes – like this – or commas, in this way, or
(sometimes) parenthesis.
• Although we went to the park, it wasn’t windy enough to fly our kites, which was
disappointing – very disappointing – because we had to go back to the city the very
next day.
•Although it was so brilliantly fine – the blue sky powdered with gold and great spots
of light like white wine splashed over the Jardins Publiques – Miss Brill was glad that
she had decided on her fur.
•Once, when my older sister, Sourdi, and I were working alone in our family
restaurant, just the two of us and the elderly cook, some men got drunk and I
stabbed one of them.
Style. ENGL 151L 30

Complex sentences create exciting action
They were yelling at us to break it up and
Tatlock spun me half around with a blow, and
as a joggled camera sweeps a reeling scene, I
saw the howling red faces crouching tense
beneath the cloud of blue-grey smoke. From “Battle
Royal” by Ralph Ellison
For up to 10 bonus points, write a complex sentence about an intense
physical experience you have had. Write in a style that recreates the
intensity. And if you can fit in a simile like this one, “and as a joggled
camera sweeps a reeling scene” all the better.
Style. ENGL 151L 31

Complex sentences can also paint a busy,
cluttered scene. Is this a style you like?
They set forward; and, with a grandeur of air, a dignified step,
which caught the eye, but could not shake the doubts of the
well-read Catherine, he led the way across the hall, through
the common drawing-room and one useless antechamber, into a
room magnificent both in size and furniture -– the real drawing-
room, used only with company of consequence. It was very
noble -– very grand -– very charming! -– was all that Catherine
had to say, for her indiscriminating eye scarcely discerned the
colour of the satin; and all minuteness of praise, all praise that
had much meaning, was supplied by the general: the costliness
or elegance of any room’s fitting-up could be nothing to her;
she cared for no furniture of a more modern date than the
fifteenth century. From Jane Austen’s novel Northanger Abbey
Style. ENGL 151L 32

This is ONE long complex sentence
with joining words underlined
So I’m strolling down Broadway breathing out and breathing in
on counts of seven, which is my lucky number, and here
comes Gretchen and her sidekicks: Mary Louise, who used to
be a friend of mine when she first moved to Harlem from
Baltimore and got beat up by everybody till I took up for her
on account of her mother and my mother used to sing in the
same choir when they were young girls, but people ain’t
grateful, so now she hangs out with the new girl Gretchen and
talks about me like a dog; and Rosie, who is as fat as I am
skinny and has a big mouth where Raymond is concerned and
is too stupid to know that there is not a big deal of difference
between herself and Raymond and that she can’t afford to
throw stones. (Bambara 2)
Bambara’s word choice and word order are fairly casual and expected, but her
sentences are mad complex. They build momentum and convey thought, which is
rapid and many layered.
Style. ENGL 151L 33

Short sentences right after long
pack a punch
From the opening of “Saving Sourdi”
Once, when my older
sister, Sourdi, and I were
working alone in our
family restaurant, just the
two of us and the elderly
cook, some men got drunk
and I stabbed one of
them. I was eleven.
!!! Wow, eleven. That fact hits hard.
From the end of “Miss Brill”
But Today she passed the
baker’s by, climbed the
stairs, went into the little
dark room – her room like
a cupboard – and sat
down on the red
eiderdown. She sat there
for a long time.
Aw, how sad. The tone shifts with
that short sentence, doesn’t it?
Style. ENGL 151L 34

Watch what the very short sentence
does here in “Raymond’s Run”
I was once a strawberry in a Hansel and Gretel
pageant when I was in nursery school and didn’t
have no better sense than to dance on tiptoe with
my arms in a circle over my head doing umbrella
steps and being a perfect fool just so my mother
and father could come dressed up and clap (57
words!) You’d think they’d know better than to
encourage that kind of nonsense (12). I am not a
strawberry (5). I do not dance on my toes (7). I
run (2 words!). That is what I am all about (7).
Indeed! We see that, Ms. Hazel Elizabeth Deborah
Parker. Running sure is what you are all about.
Style. ENGL 151L 35

Insert your favorite writer here
Send me a passage by a writer whose style you
like. Say a bit about what you like, using terms
from this lecture, for up to 20 Bonus Points. That
1/5 of a whole essay!
And I may use it in next semester’s lecture. So
more people meet the style you like.
Style. ENGL 151L 36

You are a Writer
What is your writing style? Are you aware of it? Or are you like a
fashion-illiterate friend who shows up for a wedding in jeans and
sneakers or a backyard BBQ in a business suit?
Can you change your style for different audiences – BFF vs
grandma? And for different purposes – Cover letter applying for a
position you really want vs a memo to a co-worker who never
reads their memos?
Notice your style choices and take charge of your writing style.
Then you can choose the best fit for every audience and purpose
you encounter.
Style. ENGL 151L 37

Pieces used in this lecture
Raymond’s Run, Week 1
A & P, Week 2
The Road, not assigned
Battle Royal, Week 3 (probably advanced optional)
A Good Man is Hard to Find, Week 4
Lust, assigned last semester, maybe this one
Miss Brill, Week 7
Saving Sourdi Week 7
Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey not assigned
Style. ENGL 151L 38

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