Software development is fraught with challenges. Constantly changing technology, complex business problems, and other people can make your life very difficult. In addition to the mental challenges, the sedentary developer lifestyle adds a whole dimension of problems. If you want to have a fulfilling career, there is one trait you need to cultivate above all others. This trait goes by many names: grit, fortitude, mettle, and resilience. Resilience, the ability to positively adapt to adversity, is the key to a successful developer career. With resilience, you can endure, adapt, and grow. It's the difference that separates the professional from the amateur.
In this talk, you will learn why resilience is the ultimate developer skill and how to cultivate it. We'll look at the work of a wide range of psychologists and extract specific lessons and exercises that you can use to increase your resilience. By the end of this talk you'll know what you need do to become more resilient.
Why is a software developer talking about psychology?
Student of psychology
Took classes, read books
Also, practical philosophy
Deal with my own past | not going into detail, but it’s been a rough road
Wrote a giant post
Rise of Victim Culture: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/the-rise-of-victimhood-culture/404794/
I don’t mean we have more victims… ‘cause we don’t
We objectively in the best time in human history, yet everyone is claiming victim status.
We live in a culture that’s becoming increasingly obsessed with victimhood.
Honor Culture
Dignity Culture
Victim Culture
Everyone knows someone who’s throwing constant pity parties.
Focus on the times you make yourself out to be the victim
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Does anyone feel like that? Have you made yourself out to be the victim?
We all have bad things happen to us, but we shouldn’t let them define us.
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Political victims | both left and the right
Economic victims
Victimhood at work
-- Most importantly, self victimization
ie. External locus on control
Cyclical outrage
Societal learned helplessness
- mention the dog / electric shock study
Learned helplessness is the cost of emphasizing victimhood
Screaming for higher authorities to take care of them, usually at great cost.
Deferment of responsibility.
External locus of control.
One of these things is difficult and one of these things is nearly impossible
Todays roadmap:
What is resilience
Why is it important
What challenges do developers face
How can we cultivate resilience
Image: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ancient_Roman_road_of_Tall_Aqibrin.jpg
Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/landscape-photography-of-gray-rock-formation-861034/
Crap coping mechanisms:
Video games and other forms of escapism
Alcohol and drug abuse
Venting mindless outrage into the world | trolling or bitgoteers
Abusing friends and family
Images:
https://www.pexels.com/photo/night-television-tv-video-8158/
https://www.pexels.com/photo/addiction-adult-capsule-capsules-271171/
https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-couple-people-woman-343/
The next stage in resilience.
Not only positive adaptation, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Challenge is required to live the best life
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hercules_Killing_the_Lernean_Hydra.jpg
Physical
Resilience to disease, endurance, ability to lift / carry
Mental
Social resilience, ability to resist persuasion, persistence in the face of adversity
Mental and physical are related
Career
Can survive technological change
Knows evergreen skills
Knows how to learn
Financial
- Can survive financial shocks
In Angela Duckworth’s Grit
– resilience underlies all success
Military, Olympians, business people,
Effects everyone:
“When are people going to find out I’m actually an idiot?”
How many people have experienced this?
We’re billed as wizards, gurus, experts, etc…
Yet there’s so much no one can keep it all in their head.
Alice in Wonderland – running as fast as you can to stay in place
Dunning Krueger – the less skill think they are more skilled, the more skilled think they are less skilled
Ego
Frustration Euphoria Cycle
Build – Fail – Fix – Celebrate – Repeat
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/photos/FOsina4f7qM
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The life of a developer is a constant battle with frustration. Why doesn’t this code work? Who changed this process? Why do I have to wait for five other people so I can move this ticket forward? Why is this new technology such a pain?
That frustration is punctuated with bouts of euphoria. When you manage to get all the pieces working together, it feels amazing. But bouncing back and forth between these two extremes can wear you down mentally and emotionally.
Code is communication
Software is communication
It’s a frustrating combination of communicating with lots of different types of people to build something
Possibly the largest source of failures
Images:
https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-wearing-black-framed-eyeglasses-and-teal-button-up-shirt-and-beige-blazer-sitting-at-table-near-white-macbook-7363/
Sitting, long hours, terrible food environments, negative health stereotypes = failure
Core question: Can you actually cultivate resilience?
Many psychological traits are somewhat fixed, like temperament.
Many have at least some degree of flexibility.
Growth mindset – actually works
Requires effort
Will make you more resilient, and is worth considering for resilience
Resilience is a muscle
Photo by Trust "Tru" Katsande on Unsplash
https://unsplash.com/photos/bU2khAuaPhI
By taking on discomfort, you learn to combat it.
This includes physical challenges, like cold resilience or exercise
Also includes social and mental challenges
Ask for a 10% discount at Starbucks
Ask the “dumb” questions
Ask the hard questions
Allow yourself to be made fun of
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You become acclimated to overcoming uncomfortable situations
You also expand the situations you can be comfortable in
(antifragility) Too much comfort actually makes you fragile
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“Make overcoming discomfort a part of your daily life and it’ll become a minor superpower.”
We get thrown off by lots of different mental distortions
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Photo by Pascal Renet from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/silver-sedan-at-the-back-og-silver-station-wagon-during-daytime-near-brown-painted-house-105829/
Our brains were built for survival, not truth
Rider vs. Elephant
Negativity Bias
Fundamental Attribution Error
Confirmation Bias
Self Serving Bias
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_bias#List
From Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Personalization
Catastophizing (magnification)
Downplaying the positive
Selective abstraction – (only looking at one datapoint)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
Image:
https://www.pexels.com/photo/blur-book-book-pages-close-up-415105/
Avoid labeling things as “good” or “bad”
Chinese proverb about the farmer
Think in probabilities, not certainties
Make sure failure won’t kill you (Taleb)
Assign probabilities and / or make bets (Annie Duke)
Photo by Fabian Reitmeier from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/three-red-dices-707837/
Gives both physical and mental resilience
Endorphins
Credited by lots of people as a major energy booster
Cardio, mobility, and resistance training all have specific benefits, but the best exercise is the exercise you are willing to do.
Photo by Taco Fleur from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/achievement-adult-architecture-athlete-622297/
Builds your network of people who can help you when things go south
Also gives you people to help, which is fulfilling
We are social animals
People with friends live longer
If you’re doing something painful and you have no purpose, you’re going to quit.
Exercise and diet regimen
Tough project at work
Difficult conversation
… etc …
Simon Sinek – golden circle
Why - the core motivation. Exceptional companies use this to drive their actions, think Apple.
How - how you achieve your why. Why + How = unique contribution
What - things you do or sell. This is what most companies (incorrectly) focus on.
Emotional Stories (10+) -> Find common threads -> Make a personal “Why Statement”
Format: TO __<contribution>____ SO THAT __<impact>_____ .
List some example why statements
To inspire people to do the things that inspire them so that, together, we can change our world.
Simon Sinek
Mine:
To help others see clearly, so together we can build an abundant and peaceful world.
To create abundance for myself and others so together we can create a peaceful and productive world.
Angela Duckworth – Grit
Goals Hierarchy
Write down your goals and keep asking why until you get to the core
I liked this one better
Jordan B Peterson – aim at one small goal at a time and figure it out
Self authoring
Tiny habits by BJ Fogg
https://www.pexels.com/photo/postage-stamp-247801/
Find people who are paragons of resilience that click with you.
Albert Bandura, one of the most prominent authorities on resilience, states that vicarious experiences, e.g., stories about people overcoming adversity, is a strong source of resilience
Books –
Obstacle is the Way
Masters of Doom
History
<find photos of these people to put in this slide>
John Carmack and John Romero
Ulysses S. Grant
Fredrich Douglas
Epictetus
Cameron Hanes – celebrity archer | climbs mountains with a 130 rock
Crazy workouts (20+ reps)
Ultra marathoner
Crazy stuff on his Instagram
http://www.cameronhanes.com/
Jen Thompson –
132 pound 40+ year old math teacher
Squat – 314
Bench – 313
Deadlift - 419
http://www.132poundsofpower.com/results.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqWUglAuURA
Wim Hof – climbs mountains shirtless
Masters of Doom
John Carmack and John Romero
Lot’s of other people in our industry who have conquered.
Also, don’t forget about personal heroes. They don’t have to have an Instagram account.
Resilience is positive adaptation to adversity
It’s a very important skill for your life
It can be cultivated, especially with a growth mindset
There are lots of ways to increase resilience:
seeking discomfort
exercise
meditation
self care
social connections
managing your biases
finding a purpose
emulating badasses