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What to Say — and Not to Say — to Someone Whose Loved One Has Recently Died

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Many people avoid talking to someone whose loved one has just died – from cancer or other causes – because it makes them feel uncomfortable and they are not sure of what to say. Learn tips for talking to those who are recently bereaved, and ways you can help them cope with their loss.

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What to Say — and Not to Say — to Someone Whose Loved One Has Recently Died

  1. 1. What to Say - and What Not to Say - to Someone Whose Loved one Has Recently Died DANA—FARBER C NCER INS'l'I'l‘UTE Discover. Care. Believe. 090 ‘Q 1000
  2. 2. Many people avoid talking to someone whose loved one has just died because it makes them feel uncomfortable and * they are not sure what to say.
  3. 3. i Others, often ~—*ti’nintentiona| |y, make insensitive comments that can be hurtful.
  4. 4. ’t’rIllltt= .I‘U‘tL~ SEQ? ‘ca lbzettmv ed jzetsottt [ I am really sorry I ' I am thinking aboutyou j _v ‘ : f, There are no words, other than to say how sorry I am I just heard about '5 death — I wanted to say how sorry I am
  5. 5. I don't know what to say, but I wanted to be here for you and to give you a hug I know there is nothing I can do to change what's happened, but| wanted to offer my condolences and let you know I am thinking of you
  6. 6. What not to say: They are in a better place now They had a good life You've got to be strong You’ve got to stop crying It was God’: will
  7. 7. Ill
  8. 8. It's ®t( if you don't Being there know What to Say _. and FPO? E(n‘0VVIlng vvhat to say is I V I better than not " I being there at ail
  9. 9. It's ®t( if you don't Being there know What to Say _. and FPO? E(n‘0VVIlng what to say is I V I better than not " I being there at all _ J my .2:-*5 Click toTweet this tip
  10. 10. Other ways to help: Acknowledge the death Express your condolences with a phone call or a card Call frequently to checkin Invite them to do something ’ with you
  11. 11. Other ways to help: ’ O — Be a good listener § w Avoid telling them what to do Offer practical help Like making meals 9 or childcare ’
  12. 12. Other ways to Allow the bereaved to reminisce about their loved one Don't be afraid to use the deceased's name Remember important dates, like the deceased's birthday, or the day they died, and acknowledge them xy,
  13. 13. t Understanding grief tit tttwet f .1 I it What to say when bereavement is new it Bereavement support at Dana-Farber it DANA—FARBER Click ‘eh? ('. ‘-l'i(‘F. R lNS'| ‘l'I'l. l‘l"I~'. Discover. Care. Believe.

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