Understanding how to recognize and apply life skills such as resiliency and emotional intelligence is extremely important for all of us. This presentation looks at strategies to help us improve decision-making and manage our lives better - whether professionally or personally.
This is an example of the type of life skills presentations we offer companies, schools and individuals worldwide. To learn how we can assist you and/or your company, please contact me at sbeseke@think2perform.com or 651-341-9826.
Horngren’s Cost Accounting A Managerial Emphasis, Canadian 9th edition soluti...
T2p resiliency presentation[1aa]
1. Resiliency for a Lifetime
By Steve Beseke, Senior Vice President,
Resiliency Practice Leader
think2perform (formerly LAG)
www.resiliencyfirst.com
www.think2perform.com
Understanding Your Life Skills Keys to
Business Success and Personal
Fulfillment
2. Defining Resiliency Upfront
•
All of us have moments where we feel fantastic, and those we
want to pull the covers over our eyes. Our work/life resilience is
key in keeping us on an even keel without falling overboard….
In Challenging Times
Our Resiliency: The ability to face, overcome, dust ourselves off
and be strengthened by the obstacles in life or work.
In Good Times
Our Resiliency: Finding ways to continue adapting, using our
individual unique strengths and having the right attitude to not
take anything for granted in life or work.
3. Part 1: Smack-Down Resiliency
• For me, discussing workplace resiliency starts
with how I have very humbly and successfully
adapted to my lifelong physical disability
(Cerebral Palsy). Basically, my disability makes
me walk a bit funny and fall down a lot.
• All of us, though, have our own unique life and
work challenges…
• How are you using your resilience to get
challenges in your life or at your work
today?
4. Resiliency: A 24-Hour-A-Day
Proposition
• None of us can stay positive in life or at work
every minute of every day.
• All of us, however, can be resilient 365 days a
year whether at work and in life. Why? Because
resilience is more than just staying positive. It’s a
frame of mine that allows you to handle good
times and not…
• How do you see your company tapping into
the resilience of your employees?
5. Adaptability
• In early 2009, I was among the 2,000 empoyees
laid off at a national commercial real estate
builder.
• I definitely had to adapt after nearly 30 years as
a corporate communications executive…
• How could you be more adaptive in your
work style with others?
6. The Art of Compromise
• At least in American culture, the word
“compromise” is not always seen in the best light.
But this phrase: “Stick to our beliefs and not give
in unless absolutely necessary” can spell ultimate
failure in your job.
• How could you “compromise” with a client,
supervisor, co-worker or direct report to
make a project go smoother?
7. Knowing Your Strengths
• A recent study showed those focusing on their
strengths at work - instead of lamenting on their
weaknesses - were 60 percent more likely to
succeed at work.
• How are using your resilient strengths at
your work?
8. Finding Common Ground
• Establishing great relationships at work is all
about finding common ground on a whole myriad
of issues - from work-related to personal.
• How do you find common ground to move
work projects forward at all levels?
9. Actions Within Your Control
• All of us think we ultimately control more than we
do - especially at work. This lack of “control” is
one of the top reasons employees become
dissatisfied or leave a company.
• Three things we can ultimately control: Our
attitude, our values and how we relate to people.
• What workplace actions are totally within
your control?
10. Three Ps of Work Resilience
• Perseverance…
• Persistence…
• Patience…
• What are you doing to keep your three Ps front
and center at work?
11. Managing Your Brand
• Your resilient attitude and how you relate to coworkers and supervisors directly connect to how
you are seen as an employee. If managed right,
you are seen as a great person to work with. If
not…
• Brands are just not for Coca-Cola and McDonald’s
anymore…
• How are you managing your personal brand
at work?
12. Knowing Yourself
• Recognizing what makes you happy at work and
in life can make the resilient difference of staying
on course at a company or potentially becoming
derailed.
• What gives you satisfaction in your current
job or life situation?
13. Resiliency: Your Next Steps
• Think through the one or two areas you’d like to
enhance to help maintain your resiliency at work
- and in life.
• Pick one and develop a short plan on how you
could improve it.
• Studies show within six months colleagues/others
will add this to how they see you…your brand.
Whether it is being more adaptable, staying
persistent and patient, or the other resilient
strategies previously mentioned…
14. Resilience Quote
• A resilient quote:
“Never worry about things you can’t do,
cherish your strengths to always be your
very best in life and at work,” Burt Beseke.
15. Part II: Self Awareness and
Your Resiliency
• I gave you a couple definitions of
resiliency earlier, but it can really be
summed up by three simple words:
“Managing Your Emotions…”
16. Your Emotional Competence
• In addition to being resilient, your EC, or
EQ, can help you overcome, enjoy life or
keeping spinning…whether at work or
personally.
17. EQ-i 2.0®
Building More Self-Awareness
• 15 Factors in five categories that help
you become emotionally competent at
work and in life.
• Based on research by Reuven BarOn, a
clinical psychologist, started in 1980.
• Measures extent to which you have
developed each factor.
• All of the factors can be learned and
improved.
• I will highlight them next…
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
18. EQ-i 2.0®
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
19. Self-Perception – Our Inner
Self
• Self Regard – The ability to respect
and accept yourself just the way you
are.
• How could truly respecting and
accepting yourself (strengths
and not) be a benefit for you at
work – and in life?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
20. Self-Perception – Our Inner
Self
• Emotional Self Awareness – The
ability to recognize we are
responding emotionally and to label
our emotions accurately.
• How have you seen handling
your emotions effectively at
work helped you in the past?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
21. Self-Expression – Expressing
Emotions
• Assertiveness – The ability to express
our thoughts and feelings so we create
and protect a good place for ourselves
without walking on others.
• What is an example where you’ve
used your assertiveness without
“walking on others” at work?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
22. Self-Expression – Expressing
Emotions
• Independence – The ability to make
decisions for ourselves rather than being
emotionally dependent upon others.
• What might be an example you can
think of where not being as
independent could hinder
effectiveness in your work?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
23. Self-Perception – Our Inner
Self
• Self Actualization – The ability to
develop ourselves through learning,
growth and development. It is also
a measure of drive.
• If we are seen with this desire
to learn, how might that
increase our “brand” in the
eyes of others?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
24. Interpersonal –
Skills in Dealing with Others
• Empathy – The ability to read
others well and care about their
thoughts and feelings.
• What’s the value in trying to
“walk in another person’s
shoes” at work?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
25. Interpersonal –
Skills in Dealing with Others
• Social Responsibility – The ability to
put someone else’s well being ahead
of your own.
• What’s an example where you’ve
done this at work or in life?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
26. Interpersonal –
Skills in Dealing with Others
• Interpersonal Relationship – The ability
to form positive interpersonal
relationships that feel good to both
parties.
• Establishing good working
relationships with
colleagues/supervisors is a positive
and resilient action. What value
does that provide for you?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
27. Stress Management –
Dealing with Emotions
• Stress Tolerance – The ability to
withstand stress without
experiencing disruptive anxiety, and
to keep calm under pressure.
• How have used your resiliency
to help alleviate stress at work
or in life?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
28. Decision-Making – Using
Emotions
• Reality Testing – The ability to keep our
emotions from excessively influencing
our interpretation of events.
• Please think of a crisis management
career moment in the past. How
have you managed your emotions,
so it the interpretation of events?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
29. Decision-Making – Using
Emotions
• Impulse Control – The ability to
withstand temptation when
appropriate.
• What strategies have you used to
not be impulsive at work or in
life?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
30. Decision-Making – Using
Emotions
• Problem Solving – The ability to be
careful and methodical in solving
problems.
• Examples?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
31. Self-Expression – Expressing
Emotions
• Emotional Expression – Expressing
feelings both verbally and nonverbally.
• At a critical time in your work
life, how have you appropriately
expressed your feelings to get
what you want?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
32. Stress Management –
Dealing with Emotions
• Flexibility – The ability to adapt to
change. To “roll with the punches”
and not be swayed by unusual
events that happen to all of us.
• What is an example of where
you “rolled with the punches?”
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
33. Stress Management –
Dealing with Emotions
• Optimism (about the future) – The ability
to see the bright side and opportunities
of the future, and resilience in the face
of disappointments and setbacks.
• What’s an example of where you’ve
been optimistic lately at work or in
life?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
34. Well-Being Indicator
• Happiness (about the present) –
The ability to feel satisfied with our
current life and to have fun.
• How do you define “being
happy” at work?
EQ – i 2.0. Copyrighted 2011. Multi-Health Systems Inc.
All rights reserved.
35. The Alignment Model
Frame 1
Frame 2
Frame 2
Frame 3
Frame 3
MORAL
COMPASS
GOALS
GOALS
BEHAVIOR
BEHAVIOR
Purpose
Purpose
Goals
Goals
Wants
Wants
Thoughts
Thoughts
Feelings
Feelings
Actions
Actions
Principles
Values
Beliefs
Ideal Self
Real Self
Real Self
36. Competencies that Matter
Intellectual and technical competencies are threshold
competencies. Moral and Emotional competencies
are differentiators.
Integrity (Moral)
Customer Service Orientation (Moral)
Concern for Order/Quality (Technical)
Teamwork and Collaboration (Emotional)
Self Confidence (Emotional)
Achievement Orientation (Emotional)
37. Frame 1
Moral Intelligence is…
Our mental capacity to determine how universal moral
principles should be applied to our personal values, goals
and actions.
1.Integrity
2.Responsibility
3.Compassion
4.Forgiveness
38. Frame 1
Competency…
Reliably measurable characteristics of a person including
knowledge, skills and traits.
Moral Competency is…
Our ability to act on our moral principles.
3
42. The Values Cards Exercise
1. Sort the cards into two piles – one with the
values that are important to you and one with
the values that are less important to you.
2. From the pile that is important to you, select 15
that are ideally important to you.
3. Reduce the stack of 15 to 10 and write them
down.
4. Reduce the stack of 10 to 5 and circle the top
five.
5. You can create your own values on the blank
cards.
3
46. The Freeze Exercise
A Self-Awareness Experience
to Recognize and Reflect
1. Say “Freeze” and Pause. Helps you deal effectively with
others, stress…
2. Multiple times during the day, hit the pause button, and
ask yourself:
1. What am I thinking right now?
2. Emotionally, how am I feeling right now?
3. What am I doing right now?
3. Ask yourself, are my feelings, thoughts and actions in this
circumstance aligned with my goals and values?
4. Ask, is there a better choice for me right now?
5. Emotion cards…
4
47. The Freeze Exercise
A Self-Awareness Experience
to Recognize and Reflect
•
•
•
•
•
Ask yourself the three questions: Practice makes
permanent.
Self-awareness is the foundational skill of emotional and
moral intelligence…it’s the key competence.
If it is the only thing you learn today you will be better off
for it.
Think of your colleague or client…what are you thinking
right now, how does it make you feel…
Remember this: Your presence is going to have a lot to do
with how others feel. So, how you handle yourself will
stimulate their emotional state first…
48. Frame 3 – Exercises
The 4 R’s of Moral & Emotional
Competency Development
1. Recognize (Freeze Exercise) your own experience of
thoughts, emotions, physiology/action and recognize the
experience of others.
2. Reflect on the big picture, the long-term, the biases that
might be in play, the moral principles and what you care
most about (Values).
3. Reframe your self-talk to account for possible biases and
to avoid reflexive responses to highly-charged emotions.
4. Respond with a decision consistent with your
principles/values and goals.
51. Positive Resiliency and Emotion Refocusing
Technique
“Belly Breathing”
• 2-3 slow deep breathes from belly.
• Imagine person you love, or beautiful place in
nature.
• Hold image around heart. Notice feelings of
gratitude. Maintain for 45 seconds – 1 minute.
• Ask yourself “how do you want to be?”
52. What Can and Should we do?
• Never stop learning about human behavior.
• Never stop practicing behavioral management.
• Never stop teaching what you are learning and
practicing.
53. Wrap-up
• What do you see as the link between what you’ve
learned and effective leadership, communication
and your resiliency?
• Give an example of how you will use what you
learned in the next 3 weeks.
• What went well for you today?
• What could have gone better?
54. Questions…
• Thanks so much for your valuable
time today!
• Questions?
• I hope you have a resilient day!
55. Contact us…
For more info about our resiliency
breakthrough leadership and emotional
intelligence programming for
corporations, schools or individuals,
please contact me at think2perform.
651-341-9826
www.lennickaberman.com
www.resiliencyfirst.com
Editor's Notes
Give real-life reliency examples in both categories.
Give example of how adapting to my disability has made me more resilient…
Will provide examples.
Show how adaptability has made such a difference in my life and at work.
Showing how compromise can be a “win-win” in work or life situations.
Also highlight “30/10” strengths info.
Illustrate common ground example by poignant stories of my disability experiences…
What we can control and what we can’t…the ultimate three…
Three Ps triangle and explain...
Personal brand vs. work branding for yourself. Same or different.
Define happy as it relates to work.
Example of person A who has a lot of ability and skills, but is short on handling his/her emotions. And person B who has more average ability and skills, but is terrific a handling his/her emotions in stressful or good times. Ask audience which on will most likely be successful in the long term…
This section is to introduction the EQi and review the 15 factors.
Talk about the background of the EQi using the points above. The Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i®) is the first scientifically validated and most widely used Emotional Intelligence assessment in the world. Based on more than 20 years of research worldwide, the EQ-i examines an individual’s social and emotional strengths and weaknesses. Respondents self-report on their life and workplace performance in 15 key areas of emotional skill that have been proven to contribute to proficiency in complex business activities such as conflict resolution and planning. By identifying the areas that need improvement, the client can immediately begin developing those areas. At the same time, areas where the client excels can be leveraged to their full potential to maximize effectiveness in daily tasks.
Facilitator Notes:
This section is to introduction the EQi and review the 15 factors.
Facilitator Comments/To Do:
Talk about the background of the EQi using the points above.
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
The following 15 slides provide the definition for each factor of the EQi
Facilitator’s Comments/To Do:
This includes
Accurately understanding your skills and limitations
Seeing yourself as likeable and lovable
Accepting your negatives without shame
Synonyms include: security, inner strength, self-assuredness and self-confidence
Self regard is a collection of habits of how we think about ourselves.
ASK: How would Self-Regard be useful in your work?
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Since emotion prioritizes thought, ESA helps us know why we are thinking what we are.
ESA helps us answer insight questions accurately and then plan an effective response. Serves as an internal light.
ESA gives us valuable data about situations we are in
What we are unaware of we cannot change
Goal: To be conscious of what we feel and why to be purposeful in our decision making.
ASK: What tools have you been given in this Program to help you with ESA?
ANSWER: The Freeze Exercise, the 4 R’s
Summary: Self-knowledge is premium power the leads to successful emotional management. Self-awareness is a critical foundation of emotional intelligence
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Assertiveness is often confused with aggressiveness.
Aggression and passivity activate the reptile brain and this is when our cognitive thinking becomes impaired:
Aggressiveness: I’m going to hurt you, if need be, to get my way”
Passivity: “I’ll let you hurt me”.
Assertive: I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to let you hurt me. We are both safe”.
Assertiveness can be thought of as one half of win/win.
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
People with strong independence listen to different points of view and then decide for themselves.
If your independence is underdeveloped you might make a decision based on the last person with whom you spoke.
Too much independence sometimes makes it hard to work collaboratively.
ASK: Can you think of an example where being underdeveloped in this area would hinder the effectiveness of a financial advisor?
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Self Actualization involved life balance. “I’m lucky. I look forward to the weekend with my family. Come Monday, I’ll be excited about getting back to my work”
People with well developed self actualization are more prone to see personal development to improve their skills.
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Empathy – Show concern for others, emotionally read other people and pick up on social cues, to be aware of, understand and appreciate feelings of others
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Social Responsibility – Acting responsibly, having social consciousness and concern for others, ability to do things for and with others, accepting others, upholding rules, ability to demonstrate oneself as cooperative, contributing and constructive member of one’s social group
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Interpersonal Relationship – Positive outlook towards social exchange, ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships, intimacy, giving receiving affection, feels at ease in social relations
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Stress Tolerance – Believe that one can control and influence the situation, optimistic disposition towards overcoming problems, capacity to choose course of action for coping with stress, to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without falling apart
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Reality Testing – “Tuning in” to immediate situation, keeping things in perspective, to assess the correspondence between what’s experienced and what objectivity exists, Perceptual clarity: see things as they are vs. how you want them to be, search for objective evidence to confirm, justify, support feeling, perceptions thoughts
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Impulse Control – to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act; being composed, controlling behavior including anger, hostility and irresponsible behavior
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Problem Solving – To identify and define problems and generate and implement solutions by sensing problem and being motivated to tackle it, defining problem, generating multiple solutions, making decisions to implement, being conscientious and disciplines
Facilitator Comments/To Do:
Flexibility – Open/tolerant to new ideas, overall ability to adapt to unfamiliar, unpredictable and dynamic circumstances; to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts and behavior to changing situations/conditions, reacting to change without rigidity; change mind when evidence suggests your are mistaken
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Optimism – Positive approach to daily living; a measure of hope in one’s approach to life, to look at the brighter side of life and maintain a positive attitude, even in face of adversity
Give work/life resiliency example of self. Call on audience to give examples.
Happiness – Associated with general feelings of cheerfulness/enthusiasm to feel satisfied with one’s life, to enjoy self, others and have fun; by-product of overall emotional intelligence and functioning
Facilitator Comments/To Do: (Slide in Reveal Format)
This is the high performance model that will help you integrate behavioral Advice services into your financial planning practice. It is called The Alignment Model.
Frame 1 is about…
Frame 2 is about…
Frame 3 is about…
It can be used 3 ways: to manage yourself, to influence the behavior of clients and to lead others. You can start now by asking yourself: Can I get better at ideally who I want to be?
Living in alignment means that your behavior is consistent with your goals, and that your goals are consistent with your moral compass. It means you have aligned your ideal self (who you want to be) with your real self (how you are day-to-day)
Living in alignment keeps you on course to accomplish your life purpose and achieve the best possible performance in all your life roles.
Distinguish between threshold and differentiators and provide 1-2 examples. Ask the group to provide an example from their own experience.
Intellectual/technical : Concern for Order and Detail
Moral and Emotional: Integrity and Self-Confidence
Review the definition
The principles have shown to be consistent across the globe, across cultures and over time.
ASK: Does anyone know what the four universal principles are from the research done in the book “Moral Intelligence”?
Reveal and Review: Integrity, Compassion, Responsibility and Forgiveness.
Two definitions are helpful in beginning to use Frame 1:
Competency – reliability measurable characteristics of a person known as Knowledge, skills and traits. This means:
Knowledge – “declarative” “know what I’ll do”
Skilled Behaviors – “procedural” Know how and can do
Traits/Attributes – motives, values self concept will do
Values – a personal beliefs that we choose that can guide our decision making.
Two definitions are helpful in beginning to use Frame 1:
Competency – reliability measurable characteristics of a person known as Knowledge, skills and traits. This means:
Knowledge – “declarative” “know what I’ll do”
Skilled Behaviors – “procedural” Know how and can do
Traits/Attributes – motives, values self concept will do
Values – a personal beliefs that we choose that can guide our decision making.
Time permitting, have the participants complete and score the Moral Competency Assessment. If time isn’t available now, it can be done as PreWork for Workshop 2.
Once scored, have a discussion about what participants learned.
Facilitator Comments/To Do:
These are the competencies identified with each of the Moral Principles.
The most important principle is integrity based on the research I referenced early about advisor and client success.
Ask people to talk about their own use of personal values. Ask people to comment on their experience using them in the Connect Interview.
Hand out the values cards deck and use the instructions on the slide to have the participants complete the exercise.
Discuss: what was the process you used to select your values? What was this experience like for you? Can you give an example of how you have used this value in your life? How do you see yourself using these values moving forward?
Summary: You now how 2 tools/concepts for becoming a Behavioral Advisor--the Moral Competencies Assessment and the Values Card Exercise.
Wiring your brain to recall your personal values daily and especially when faced with difficult decisions will help you make better decisions. How do you do this? Write your 5 values and look at them every day so they are imprinted on your brain. Then in a moment of crisis they come to you and you use them. This helps you make a values right decision.
Facilitator Comments/To Do: (Slide in Reveal Format)
This is the high performance model that will help you integrate behavioral Advice services into your financial planning practice. It is called The Alignment Model.
Frame 1 is about…
Frame 2 is about…
Frame 3 is about…
It can be used 3 ways: to manage yourself, to influence the behavior of clients and to lead others. You can start now by asking yourself: Can I get better at ideally who I want to be?
Living in alignment means that your behavior is consistent with your goals, and that your goals are consistent with your moral compass. It means you have aligned your ideal self (who you want to be) with your real self (how you are day-to-day)
Living in alignment keeps you on course to accomplish your life purpose and achieve the best possible performance in all your life roles.
Walk through the Experiential Triangle with examples.
The human experience is make up of thought, emotion and physical experience (action).
We have one thought at time and this can result in feeling multiple emotions.
Our actions/behavior are a result of the choice we make about how to respond to our thoughts and emotions. Some of our actions are involuntary as learned in our discussion of the brain and some are voluntary. In Behavioral Advice we want to be reflective about our thoughts and emotions so that are actions are in alignment with our financial goals and personal values.
April, 2012 Doug’s notes
Can tie this back to stress info presented earlier
Facilitator Note:
An effective way to practice this throughout the workshop is to give someone a “freeze rock” and ask them to call “FREEZE” at some point. Pass the stone to another person to continue the practice.
Facilitator Comments/To Do:
Explain the steps of the Freeze Exercise and hand out the E-motions Card with feeling words.
Say “Freeze” and ask participants to do the Freeze Exercise.
Use steps 2 and 3 and ask volunteers to comment on their experience.