Life Skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual_May 2015

Life Skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual_May 2015
May 2015 Life skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual Prepared by: CoRDe Consultancy Service DEFTONES
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 1 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Table of Contents Introduction ......................................................................................................................................... 2 Importance ........................................................................................................................................... 2 Objectives ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….3 Part 1 Self-concept .............................................................................................................................. 4 Social-identity .................................................................................................................................. 5 Soul profile ....................................................................................................................................... 6 Part 2 Paradigm assumption …………………………………………………………………………………...…………………….7 Paradigm shift ……………………………………………....…………………………………………………...……………………....7 Redefinition of life ……………………………………………...………………………………………………………………………….9 Part3 Appreciative inquiry ............................................................................................................10 Appreciative Inquiry and positive thinking .......................................................................................................11 Part 4 Behaviour ..................................................................................................................................................12 Proactive Vs Reactive behavior …………………………………………………………………………………………………....12 Decision making …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...15 Part 5 Leadership………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....16 Leadership and management ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….16 Three styles of leadership …………………………………………………………………………………………………………....17 Part 6 Taking a stand ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………......19 History of Rosa Parks .........................................................................................................................19 Vision and mission setting ………………………………………………………………………………………………………......23 Part 7 Growth Mindset …………………………………………………………………………………………………………….....25 Growth mindset models ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………....26 Part 8 Emotional intelligence …………………………………………………………………………………..…………….......28 Definition of EQ…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....28 Importance of EQ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….29 Techniques to develop EQ…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….29 Part 9 Communications………………………………………………………………………………………………………….......33 Barrier to effective communications...………………………………………………………………………………………....35 Importance of effective communications …………………………………………………………………………………....35 Part 10 Team work ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………........36 Defining A Team………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..............36 Common problem ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..........37 Steps in team problem solving ……………………………………………………………………………………………….......38 Part 11 Creativity …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………........39 Programmed thinking and Lateral thinking ……………………………………………………………………………….....40 The creative frame of mind ………………………………………………………………………………………………............40 Part 12 Resource and reference …………………………………...……………………………………………….…….........42
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 2 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual INTRODUCTION The Life Skills and leadership training program is a comprehensive behaviour change approach that concentrates on the development of the skills needed for individuals. To this end this life skill and leadership training manual contains concepts such as self-concept, self-confidence, communication skills, relationship skills, friendship formation, conflicts and its resolution, stress and coping skills ,anger management, time management, being proactive, mind of positive thinking, assertiveness resistance and refusal skills, wellness , and the art of letting go .The Life Skills and leadership training approach is completely interactive, using role plays, games, puzzles, group discussions and a variety of other innovative teaching techniques to keep the participant wholly involved in the sessions. The training manual includes a description, instructions on how to use the details to design a life learning plan, and a complete listing of Learning Goals with corresponding expectations and activities. Whilethe program moves beyond providing information, it addresses the development of the whole individual so that a person will have the skills to make decision and use of all types of information. The training promotes mental well-being for a better choice in young people and equips them to face the realities of life. By supporting mental well-being and behavioural preparedness, life skills and leadership training helps individuals to behave in a pro-social ways and understand the purpose of life. Consequently, the topics can be seen as empowering for all that it makes people take more responsibility for their actions. The training impacts every area of an individual‘s personality, from personal goals to morals, from ethics to the drive to succeed. The training manual contains thorough information about teaching life skills and leadership to youth groups. While this resource is appropriate for most audiences throughout the country, it was especially created for youths who are at risk of getting in to unhealthy environment, who are already involved in to it, and for those who are looking for help to cop up from the situation where they are in. Readiness to live on one‘s own way is a life- long process, getting prepared to enter the workforce and having the skill of decision making involves more than just learning the skills. Sometimes, the failure to function and prosper in society can be due to a basic lack of social or interpersonal skills. The simple truth is that many youths are vulnerable to different social and psychological problems. The psychological effects of being involved in substance abuse, being jobless, and incarceration vary from individual to individual and are often reversible. Making sure they are given the rehabilitation training, education and basic leadership skill that will allow them to make better choices and decision while they are in unhealthy environment and when they leave could make their life easy and enjoyable. However, due to lack of education or lack of decision making ability and less exposure to positive role models at home or in living area, can make their progress for change hard-hitting and their objectives unattainable. That‘s why life skills and leadership training include a focus on interpersonal skill-building, decision making, team work, positive thinking and vision settings. Target Group While this resource/guide/ is appropriate for most audiences, it was especially created with youth living in unhealthy environment. This guide is prepared to support the provision of life skill and leadership training for individual youths found in SIDE targeted area of Harari region. Thus, heightened attention to getting youth in out-of- abusive environment and ready for living as a productive member of the community Importance of the Manual The Life Skills and leadership training program is a comprehensive behavior change approach that concentrates on the development of the skills needed for life such as communication, decision–making, positive thinking, managing emotions, assertiveness, self–esteem building, resisting peer pressure, and
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 3 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual relationship skills. It also promotes mental well-being in young people/target groups/ and equips them to face the realities of life, by supporting mental well-being and behavioral preparedness, the training equips individuals to behave in a pro-social ways and it is additionally protective. The training moves beyond providing information. It addresses the development of the whole individual so that, a person will have the skills to make use of all types of information because the whole manual is prepared depending on the method of experiential in a way which is completely interactive, using role plays, games, puzzles, group discussions, and a variety of other innovative teaching techniques to keep the participant wholly involved in the sessions. 0.3.1 Overall objectives To equip young people with the social and interpersonal skills that enable them to cope with the demands of everyday life and prepares for successful living through practical principles to be ready, positive, and to only strive for excellence in their life and contribute for others. 0.3.2 Specific objectives The specific objectives of the manual are to: 1. Help youths to inspire themselves to pursue and achieve attainable goals, 2. Guide highly vulnerable young groups how to utilize their coping skills and react appropriately to life's adversities, 3. Help youth groups to install positive morals and values, responsibility, and accountability for their actions. 4. Help youth to identify levels of social identity and leadership roles 5. Help youth to understand self‘s value, belief, principles and the impact of paradigm on behavior and action 6. Help youth to know their emotion and develop emotional stability technics
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 4 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual PART 1. SELF CONCEPT Open by asking the individuals what they think ―Self-concept‖ might mean. After a couple of people give their answers, intertwine them together by explaining that it is a way for us to understand ourselves from different perspective or angles. Then, explain by giving definitions and examples Self-concept is a mental picture you have of yourself and is an important part of your personality. This picture is largely influenced by people around you and the way you perceive their behavior toward you. The development of self-concept begins at home. When people show approval of you and the thing you do, you review a positive message such as ‗‘I am all right .People like what I do. ‘Positive feelings like this help you develop a positive self-concept. If you have apositive self-concept, you see yourself as lovable and worthwhile person and see others the same way.You try to be friendly and expect others to do the same. When people show disapproval, you receive a negative warning you may feel a sense of personal rejection. You may say to yourself ―I don‘t think they like me, because they don‘t seem to like what I do.‖ Many such messages will tend to promote negative self-concept. If you have a negative self- concept, you feel uncertain. You may not see yourself as lovable or worthwhile. Examples: Positive Self-concept: People with positive self-concept:  Feel good about themselves,  Accept the thing about themselves that can‘t change,  At confident that they can change the things about themselves that need changing,  Like who they are,  Have a happy outlook on life  Don‘t let set back get down  Don‘t worry unduly what other peoples say Negative Self-concept: People with negative self-concept  Worry about their short coming and failures  Dwell on their past mistakes  Are afraid to try anything new  Are always putting themselves down. ‘I can‘t do this. I can‘t do that ‗‘  They feel worthless How to improve self-concept: 1. Take a look at your qualities  Take a close look into a mirror, what are good qualities you see?  Try not to compare self with others -you are unique  Try not find fault with others to make yourself look better  Try to improve weakness if you can :if you cannot then concentrate on your strengths  Make a list of the things you want to improve .Keep this and cross them out when you feel that they are no longer a problem  Always try to do the best you can 2. Learn to give and accept compliments
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 5 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual  Look for the good in other peoplecomplement people about their good qualities – you‗ll both feel good about it.  Even though you may think that you do not deserve a compliment ,thank the giver,s/he means it and it is most likely sincerely 3. Develop new interests  Get involved in activities that you do well ‗‘try it you might like it‘‘ 4. Develop a positive attitude  Your attitude are learned  One of the best ways to develop a positive attitude is to learn to express your thought in positive manner  Look for good in others  It would be easier to find the good in others 5. Learn to smile and laugh.  It‘s almost impossible not to smile when someone smiles at you SOCIAL IDENTITY Given Chosen Core Social Identity Open by asking the group what they think ―Social Identity‖ might mean. After a couple of people give their answers, weave them together by explaining that it is a way for us to understand our memberships in different social groups. Then, explain by giving definitions and examples of Given, Chosen, and Core identities:  Given – something you didn‘t have any control over; you were born that way or something happened to make it that way - for example, I have two younger sisters.  Chosen – something you chose to do or identify yourself with. (I often put ―musician‖ in my chosen and then explain that it is not part of my core because right now, I‘m not actively playing an instrument. I‘ve taken a break from it, but I‘m still me.)  Core – something that if someone took it away, you would not be you anymore. Or, this is how you want to be remembered...as a person of x quality. Exercise-Social Identity Mapping: 10 minutes Give the group 10 minutes to fill out their own Social Identity Map. They can use the circle side. There are prompts in case they get stuck located on their workbook. Figure 1 Figure 2
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 6 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Facilitator prompt: When you think you are done, try and think of one or two more using the list of prompts. Then, explain your social identity map (pre-filled out flip chart) Facilitators can also ask participants to try and come up with a certain number of social IDs per category as a challenge. For example, participants must list 8 chosen social identities or 10 given social identities. Some questions to getthe debrief started includes 1. What was this experience like? 2. What surprised you? 3. How does this play out at your community? 4. How does social identity relate to leadership? Facilitator debrief on the following points (5 minutes):  Social Identity can be a particularly revealing experience for those of you who have never experienced anything like it  It can also be a valuable reflection tool for those of you who have done a lot of this sort of work  Knowing oneself at a deeper level is one of the most important development of a leader Soul profile Soul profile questions: 1. Describe how you felt in a peak experience? 2. What is my Life‘s purpose? 3. What is going to be my contribution? 4. Name three people in history, mythology or religion who you consider as your heroes? 5. What are three qualities you look for in your best friend? 6. What are three qualities or talents unique to me? 7. What are three qualities that I best display in my relationships and what I can be counted on for? Give the following directions: 1) I will read out 7 questions. As I read each question, you will be given 10-15 seconds to answer each question. Just put down what comes to your mind without putting too much thoughts 2) Turn your note book to fill out your response. 3) For question 1, and 4-7, write three words for each question 4) For question 2 and 3, you can write a sentence 5) For question 7, you have 15 seconds more In plenary, ask each participants to state one (only one) word from question one, and write on flip chart. When all participants have spoken, invite them to see the ―energy and essence‖ in the room brought in by participants. 6) At their table, ask participants to  Introduce themselves as ―my name is…‖ (not I am)  State their purpose and contribution (response to question 2 and 3)  Declare ―you can count on me for…‖ the three qualities unique to them (response to question 7) In plenary, process response to question 4 from 5 participants; ask others to reflect for a minute 8) In plenary, process response to question 5 from 5 participants; ask others to reflect for a minute
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 7 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual 9) In plenary, process response to question 6 from 5 participants; ask others to reflect for a minute Debrief by distinguishing:  There are many types of profiles we can use.  What we just did is soul profile- Which is who I am  All profiles are valid- they are different aspects of one self.  For example we may have social profile- What is my race? Religion? Nationality? Tribe? Or my professional profile- What is my job? Degree? Skill set? PART 2. PARADIGM ASSUMPTION PARADIGM (15 minutes) Paradigm is a set of assumptions, concepts, values and practices that constitute away of viewing reality for the community that shares them. It also serves as pattern or model.  To explore our understanding of paradigm and its relevance to Leadership  To see how paradigm shift is brought about  To understand the impact of our paradigm on our behaviour and action  To illustrate that we have a choice to shift our paradigm  To explore our paradigm on our Community OLD LADY IMAGE Exercise And ask‖ What do you see in this picture?‖ Participants‘ responses on picture one could be:  I see the chin of the young woman  I see an old woman and so on Facilitator asks  What enabled you to see the thing that others couldn‘t see? Possible answer from participants:  Seeing it from a different position or perspective  Turning it upside down Paradigm Facilitator asks participants ―What is paradigm?‖ to create common understanding about the word and its essence. Possible answers from participants:  It is a matter of perception.  We wouldn‘t have been able to see the old lady if another person sees it and tell us so.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 8 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Facilitator debrief on the following points:  The lens we wear to see things  It is the lens that makes me interpret things- what we do  It is our mode of thinking, the lens that we use to interpret and see the things that could be seen  Paradigm is not inherently good or bad. It is a shortcut in our thinking or a ‗lens‘ or ‗filter‘ based on previous experience and knowledge  Sometimes, it create limitations and prevent us from seeing event or people in an unbiased way like stereotypes or being unable to think of creative solutions to challenges  We need to hold our paradigms lightly and be ready to see other‘s paradigm. We also need to be ready to confirm our paradigm and to also be challenged about our paradigm. Otherwise we will be stating our paradigm is the only fact.  It‘s important for paradigm to be flexible, so you can let new information reshape or change your paradigm to something more accurate. Assumptions-(15 minutes) In plenary, ask the following questions: 1) Where do paradigms come from? (personal experience, media, families, community-held beliefs Introduction to assumption In plenary, facilitators ask participants: 1. What does assumption mean? Possible answer from participants:  It‘s a thought  It is some statement created in our mind  It‘s an idea that we hold in our mind Facilitators debrief on following learning points:  Assumptions are normal, we don‘t often pay attention to them  Sometimes we think that good outcome is to have no assumption. The reality is that all human hold assumption and it is not good or bad, it just is  Assumptions are a range of useful shorthand conclusions that we make  By the time you get to work you will have held 100s of assumptions  We do not need to always know what our assumptions are, however if we act or think differently, then we have an opportunity to think about assumption  Help people to understand what assumption are and that we have the freedom to choose the assumption that we hold  Help participants to make links between assumptions and paradigm How does assumption drive our behavior? Facilitator asks the following question in plenary: 1. What assumptions did you hold when you joined to this event today?
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 9 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Possible answer from participants:  I thought it will be more of lecture by trainer  I was saying to my-self ―what new things will they teach?‖  Will there be something new  What a great opportunity to learn about leadership!!!  Will this program really help us in solving our problem Facilitators debrief on following learning points:  The assumptions we hold inform how we enter situations and how we act  As groups we can bring what seems to be completely conflicting or different assumptions  Assumptions can therefore be different and we have the freedom to choose which ones we want to hold Redefining life purpose In every New Year, many individuals have made resolutions that sadly most will not be able to keep. This topic would like to share you the case and offer five life principles you might want to consider to help you live a more purposeful, passionate and transformational life in the coming year and beyond. The power of definition in our lives is huge. All of us have tapes that we play in our heads about who we are, what we want, what we are capable of and why we can or cannot achieve something we desire. Most of the baggage of ―definitions‖ that we carry comes from our families. Every individual are given a role byhis/her families, a ―name,‖ and a ―definition‖ -- she is the smart one, he is the funny one, she will never amount to anything, or we expect great things from him in the future. Mostly either got positive affirmations or negative ones. And they play a huge role in how we see ourselves. These ―tapes‖ or ―boxes‖ often keep us from knowing our value and from moving toward the fulfilment we all desire in our lives. My goal for next year is just one: to be authentically me. I have made no resolutions, instead I am resolved that I will live my best life by working on me, and knowing that I am a valuable human being, who has much to offer the world around her. Here are some suggestions you would like to consider on your journey: Know your value: Period. Everything about us starts with how we see ourselves. We teach others how to treat us. So be good to you. Know your worth. Respect yourself and honour your soul‘s desire and all things are possible in your life. You cannot fix what you will not face: Being pretty, having a great job, and looking fabulous on the outside will not cover up or fix a wounded or broken soul on the inside. Whatever it is you are carrying on the inside that has you tied up in knots, face it so you can fix it and move forward. Let it go. Pain, regret, guilt and mourning are mind, body and soul killers. Let them go! Whatever it is that is inside of you, face it fix it and let it go! Get your mind right: This is critical to our success as humans. Your thoughts control your life. What we think about, we bring about. It all starts in the battlefield of the mind. Get your thoughts right and all else will follow. Define you for you: You are the master of your fate, the captain of your soul. Don‘t just talk about it, be about it. Get out of the box others have put you in, don‘t allow yourself to be stereotyped. Redefine your life for your happiness. Live your life in and on purpose: Simply put, make sure that the one life has given you is one of value, service, joy, and goodness. Live your life in such a way that others want to be in your community. Speak so that others want to hear what you have to say. Be a light that shines brightly in your workplace, family, and friendships. Follow your passion, and in doing so, you will find your purpose.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 10 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual PART 2. APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY Facilitator asks the following questions: 1. What does Appreciative mean? 2. What does Inquiry mean? Possible answer from participants: For appreciative: Caring, Value, Constructive, Recognition, Gratitude And for Inquiry could be: Finding, Interest, Curious, Discovery, Explore, Search, Digging Facilitator debrief on following learning points:  Appreciative connotes valuing and increase in value. It is generative and expansive, such that adding a positive to a positive adds more positive  Inquiry infers a systemic research process, journey of discovery  The two key words are Exploration and discovery, and the idea is that where attention goes, energy goes DEFINITION: ―Appreciative Inquiry [is] a theory and practice for approaching change from a holistic framework. Based on the belief that human systems are made and imagined by those who live and work within them, AI leads systems to move toward the generative and creative images that reside in their most positive core – their values, visions, achievements, and best practices.‖ ―AI is both a world view and a practical process. In theory, AI is a perspective, a set of principles and beliefs about how human systems function, a departure from the past metaphor of human systems as machines. Appreciative Inquiry has an attendant set of core processes, practices, and even ‗models‘ that have emerged. In practice, AI can be used to co-create the transformative processes and practices appropriate to the culture of a particular organization.‖ ―Grounded in the theory of ‗social constructionism,‘ AI recognizes that human systems are constructions of the imagination and are, therefore, capable of change at the speed of imagination. Once community members shift their perspective, they can begin to invent their most desired future.‖ Watkins, J.M. & Bernard J. Mohr. Appreciative Inquiry: 2001, pages xxxi - xxxii The Traditional Problem-based Approach and the AI Approach The table below clearly depicts the different process the two approaches deploy, as well as the fundamental underlying assumptions that inform them: Problem Solving ↓ ―Felt Need‖ Identification of Problem ↓ Analysis of Causes ↓ Analysis and Possible Solutions ↓ Action Planning(Treatment) ↓ Basic Assumption: A Community is a Problem to be Solved Appreciative Inquiry ↓ Appreciating and Valuing The Best of ―What Is‖ ↓ Envisioning ―What Might Be ↓ Dialoguing ―What Should Be‖ ↓ Innovating What Will Be‘ ↓ Basic Assumption: A Community is a Mystery to be Embraced Adapted from Cooperrider and Srivastva (1987) ‗Appreciative Inquiry into Organizational Life‘ in ‗Research in Organizational Change and Development‘, Pasmore and Woodman (eds) Vol 1. JAI Press
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 11 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual As the above table shows, moving away from the traditional problem-based approach, to Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is an asset-based approach. Whereas a problem-based approach attempts to identify problems so that solutions are sought to reduce or eliminate those problems. In addition, the underlying assumptions of the above-mentioned approaches are different. The assumption in the problem-solving is that communities and organizations are problems to be fixed. In AI the assumption is that systems are potentials to be explored. But what about the inequities in systems and all of the other complicated challenges that are part of complex challenges in our world today? Does Appreciative Inquiry take these into account? Three leading AI practitioners explain: ‗We do not dismiss accounts of problems, stress or problems. We simply do not use them as the basis of analysis for action. We listen when they arise, validate them, and seek to reframe them‘. In conducting this process with groups in conflict we must be careful not to ‗gloss over‘ wounds that are felt by one party or another Goals of appreciative Inquiry (20 minutes) 1. We learn best from what is working 2. We have the responsibility to celebrate our success Participants are allowed 5 minutes to reflect on the meaning they give to each goal Exercise Participants are paired to discuss the following questions: 1. When was the last time you took time to appreciate yourself? 2. Think of an event in your family/community where you have used your resource wisely to make a difference? Facilitators debrief on following learning points:  There is more value in focusing on what works  The question we ask ourselves determine the kind of future we shape  We try to build a better future by building on what works  Our future is a sequence of stories that are constantly being rewritten by ourselves Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Thinking It is very important to make a distinction between Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Thinking. The two are not the same thing: Appreciative Inquiry is a more sophisticated approach to development and change and is an approach that is based on reality. For example, if we have a challenging relationship and feel lost, as to the way forward, Positive Thinking would simply advise us to ‗think positively – it‘s not that bad.‘. The Appreciative Inquiry Approach would guide us to think about a similar situation in the past, and reflect on what had enabled us to get through the crisis. This approach would help us tap into the skills and abilities we have in our hand to get through this personal challenge. The fundamental difference between Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Thinking is that Appreciative Inquiry meets you where you are, acknowledges your current experience, draws on the skills and abilities that you have drawn on in the past and takes you forward. It relies on the knowledge you have yourself, rather than encouraging you to adopt a mindset that is not grounded in your own experience. The Two Goals of AI When exploring AI in more detail, we have the 2 goals of Appreciative Inquiry, namely: 1. We learn best from what is working – we often assume that we learn most effectively from our mistakes. Research however shows that 70% of what we learn comes from what is working. We
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 12 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual usually take success for granted. We also shy away from sharing our successes, as this is considered as a form of boasting. In AI, space is given to learn from what is working well: successes are detailed out and these details are used as data banks for future use. 2. We have a responsibility to honor our successes – it‘s important to take time to practice noticing what we and others are doing well, to affirm those past and present strengths. Very often, we are expert at identifying what is wrong or what we dislike. This may happen at a great cost of getting over feelings of failure, hopelessness, anger at ourselves, and irritation at the actions of others. We look for the root cause of the problem but we rarely look for and analyse the root causes of success. Honoring our successes, however small, allows us to replicate them. The energy, trust and passion that are formed when those involved take time to discuss and understand what is working allow them to set up a savings account of this data. Then, when conflicts abound, trust is low and people are choosing a truth of dysfunction, they can draw from the collective memory of what works, from those patterns of success, rather than rely on ‗credit‘. This kind of act is in itself transformational. PART 4. BEHAVIOR Help the individual understand exactly the behavior you‘re talking about. Avoid interpretations and judgments here, such as, ―You weren‘t listening to me.‖ Instead, simply describe the person‘s behavior: ―When I was talking, you pushed your chair away from the table and gazed out the window.‖ A great example to use here is to move your arms like you are doing the freestyle swim stroke. Ask participants what you are doing. Many will yell out, ―swimming!‖ Smile and ask them again. Someone will likely start to describe what you are doing, which is moving your arms parallel to the floor while standing. This is an example of describing a behavior, versus interpreting a behavior. Interpretation is what people are doing when they say you are swimming. Proactive Vs Reactive Behavior: How to be proactive Exercise: What does it mean to be "proactive", as opposed to "reactive"? And how can we do it? This is what this topic is about. The word ―reactive‖ implies that you don‘t have the initiative. You let the events set the agenda. You‘re tossed and turned, so to speak, by the tides of life. Each new wave catches you by surprise. Huffing and puffing, you scramble to react to it in order to just stay afloat. In contrast, the image we associate with ―proactivity‖ is one of grace under stress. To stay with the previous analogy, let‘s say you‘re in choppy waters. Now, you look more at ease. It‘s not just that you anticipate the waves. You‘re in tune with them. You‘re not desperately trying to escape them; you‘re dancing with them. It would be great to dance with the rhythm of life, using the ebb and flow of events as a source of energy. But is this only possible to those people who are endowed with a proactive attitude (or, maybe, a ―proactive gene‖)? I believe that being proactive is not a mysterious quality that we have, or don‘t have. It is a way of dealing with things that we can develop and strengthen. What, then, is this skill? In a nutshell, being proactive is the same thing as being reactive. The only difference is: you do the reacting ahead of time. Let‘s go back to the example of the two swimmers on the choppy seas. The difference between them is that the proactive swimmer anticipates that there will be waves, whereas the reactive one is painfully surprised by each wave.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 13 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual The difference is one of perspective. The proactive swimmer sees the big picture: each wave is not an isolated incident, but is part of a pattern. While there is stress in dealing with difficult circumstances, there is a consistency and logic to the environment. There‘s a degree of predictability. With this bigger picture in mind, the proactive swimmer is able to adapt to the ups and downs. As he does so, he ―learns‖ the patterns of the waves from inside out, so that his reactions become more and more spontaneous, more and more in tune with the rhythm of the waves. So, being proactive means being able to anticipate what the future will be, and to react accordingly before it actually happens. What is it that prevents the reactive swimmer from doing so? It could be lack of information. There are plenty of events in life that we simply cannot predict. It could also be lack of intelligence: some people are better than others at thinking in terms of patterns. But let‘s assume, for the moment, that our two swimmers have both the same levels of information and intelligence. Then, the difference between them would simply be that the proactive swimmer has enough energy to take in the available information and adapt to it. In contrast, the reactive swimmer is exhausted and overwhelmed (―Somebody get me out of here, please!‖). What does this metaphor have to do with understanding how you can be more proactive in your life? Three things: ONE: To be proactive, what you have to do is ask yourself what is likely to happen, and react to it before it happens. TWO: It takes energy to rise above the difficulties of the moment, to see the big picture and to make the changes you need to make. THREE: Sometimes, you may not have that energy. At such times, it serves no purpose to berate yourself for being weak. Think of your ―reactivity‖ as a symptom instead of a failure. You need a break. Take it. Let‘s imagine that our exhausted swimmer finds a raft. From this stable vantage point, wouldn‘t he be better able to see the big picture? After some rest, wouldn‘t he be better able to deal with the pattern of the waves? Sometimes, the most proactive thing you can do is take a break. Use this ―Time Out‖ to refocus on what you‘re doing and how you‘re doing it. The reactive mode is not inherently bad. In fact, it is a very powerful feature that has tremendous survival value. It is what happens in fight-or-flight, i.e. when the sympathetic nervous system is activated. This is a knee-jerk reaction that has developed in all animals to help us survive in case of clear and present danger. For instance, when an antelope encounters a lion, it is very useful for it to have instant access to flight. For a human being, it is very useful to reflexively remember "I‘ve been burnt" in order to avoid touching fire. And it's also essential to have access to our anger when we need to fight. The parts of our brain that are involved in this reactive mode, such as the amygdala, are evolutionarily very old. Much more recent evolutionarily are the parts of the human brain that allow for a broader assessment of the situation, beyond the knee-jerk reaction to danger. Neural circuits in the frontal cortex allow us to determine that, even though a given situation feels like a major threat, it is not actually that threatening. This allows us to downgrade the alert from Defcon 1 to something more appropriate. What we call the proactive mindset is the human ability to engage the more evolved neural circuits, and perform a sort of due process to improve the quality of the information that we get through the reactive mindset. We are not talking about ignoring our more primitive reactions, far from that. We are talking about building up on these primitive reactions. Instead of reacting impulsively, we use the
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 14 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual reactive impulse as a starting point for a more sophisticated process that helps us respond more effectively to a given situation. The proactive mind-set described can also be seen as mindfulness. Given how some people think of mindfulness as an esoteric practice, it is important to state that what we describing here is a natural human ability: The ability to function more effectively, by discriminating more clearly what is a manageable threat from what is not, and adopting more appropriate responses. How do we do this? Of course, it helps to have an awareness of this process, and the intention to shift from a reactive mode. It helps, but it isn‘t nearly enough, because we are talking about overriding a very powerful mechanism, one that has been reinforced by millions of years of evolution. This mechanism enables us to mobilize enormous amounts of energy in the service of survival when we face what we perceive as a major threat. The bigger the perceived threat, the more impossibly difficult the task will feel. Pushing against the fear will only increase the sense of pressure and danger, and make it even more difficult to override the reactive impulses. When you‘re reactive, you may not perceive your reactivity as fear. For instance, you may feel confused. Or feel stuck. Or you may be very angry, even angry to the point of being scary to other people… so that doesn‘t sound like you‘re afraid, does it? So let‘s not call that fear. Let‘s just call it ―intense emotion, related to a sense of threat‖. The point is, it is the very intensity of the emotion that makes it hard to override. How does one deal with this? I‘m going to take a simple example, one where the ―threat‖ can be managed relatively easily. I‘m going to talk about what happens when you start wearing contact lenses, how you get accustomed to inserting them into your eyes. You put the lens on the tip of a finger, and you start moving the index finger toward your eye. You notice that, even though you‘re moving your index slowly, and even though you know that this is not an attack on your eye, you automatically close your eyelids as the finger is approaching. So you need to pull down the lower eyelid with one finger of the hand that has the lens, and pull up the upper eyelid with the other hand, to keep the eye open. Even as you do this, and even though the movement of your finger toward your eye is slow and controlled, you notice that the eye has a tendency to close despite the fingers holding the eyelids open. Fortunately, over time, this operation becomes easier and easier, as your mind learns from experience that there is no risk. This learning is possible because a lot of conditions are gathered to override the reactive impulse to the perceived attack. For one thing, there is the reassuring knowledge that this procedure is one that has been done by millions of other people, and that the medical profession is behind it. But also, the finger that moves toward your eye is your own, so you can modulate the movement; in other words, there is less of a threat because you have control over the movement. The need for a protective reaction is lessened as you feel safer. Conversely, you wouldn‘t be able to relax enough to keep your eye open if somebody else‘s finger was coming at you really fast. It would be impossible to override the perception that this is an attack. So, in order to override reactivity, you need to feel safer. This doesn‘t happen through logic alone. Logic helps, of course, as it does in the case of contact lenses: It helps to know that eye doctors think of this as a safe procedure. But it is not enough. What is necessary is the experience of actually feeling safe, so that the powerful protection circuits of the brain can relax their grip, and make change possible. Remember that these protective circuits are those we share with other animals, they‘re more primitive than our cortical circuits; they‘re not good at the subtleties of complex thought. To overcome reactivity, you need to experience a visceral sense of safety, because the function of reactivity is to protect you. This visceral sense of safety, and a visceral understanding of the intense emotions that have a grip on you, cannot be fully accessed when we try to get at them by only using words, logical discourse. This is because the brain circuits involved in these emotions are more primitive. So we need to pay
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 15 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual attention to moment-by-moment physical experience. We need to keep coming back to that, as opposed to staying solely at the level of ―talking about‖ what might be happening. There is a transformative effect in paying attention to somatic experience in the context of developing our ability to self-regulate. Paying attention to what is actually happening in your body, instead of using standard words, even emotional words, helps you shift attention to what is here and now. It helps you be in the moment in a way that you cannot be if you just try to ―be in the moment‖, because it very specifically directs your attention to concrete present experience, and away from spouting words divorced from experience. This is why I see this work as a form of mindfulness practice, a skillful means to enhance our natural ability for mindfulness and proactivity. Over time, my clients experience a sense of becoming less reactive, of developing a proactive mindset. This happens because the sessions provide a safe environment in which it is possible to observe what is happening in reactive situations, as if in slow motion, and to progressively develop other options that provide a more effective alternative to the reactive mode. In this sense, there is a progressive training effect, similar to the way you develop your body‘s strength and resistance through physical training. Decision making It is a response to a situation requiring a choice. Decision making is a conscious and human process involving both individual and social phenomena based upon factual and value premises, which lead to the choice of one behavioral activity from among one or more alternatives with the intention of moving towards some state of affairs. It means to reduce the number of alternatives, know the consequence of each alternative, and select the best out of the available alternatives. Problem solving is a process in which we perceive and resolve a gap between a present situation and a desired goal, with the path to the goal blocked by known or unknown obstacles. In general, the situation is one not previously encountered, or where at least a specific solution from past experiences is not known. In contrast, decision making is a selection process where one of two or more possible solutions is chosen to reach a desired goal. The steps in both problem solving and decision making are quite similar. In fact, the terms are sometimes used interchangeably. A problem is decided by purposes. If someone wants money, and when he or she has little money, he or she has a problem. Nevertheless, if someone does not want money, little money is not a problem. Types of decision Most of managers‘ decision falls in to one of two categories:  Programmed decision  None programmed decisions Programmed decision: - is a decision which is fairly structured or recurred with some frequency (or both). They are typically handled through structured or bureaucratic techniques (standard operating procedures). None programmed decisions: - a decision that is relatively unstructured and occurs much less often than a programmed decision. Most important decisions made in communities/organizations are non- programmed in nature. These kinds of decisions are made by individuals using available information and their own judgment. Decision making conditions Since there are different types of decision there are also different conditions in which decisions made. Decision making under certainty:- when the decision maker knows with reasonable certainty what the alternatives are and what conditions are associated with each alternative, a state of certainty exists.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 16 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Decision making under risk:- a more common decision making condition is a state of risk .under a state of risk , the availability of each alternative and its potential pay off sand costs are all associated with probability estimates Decision making under uncertainty: - Most of the major decision making in our time is done under a state of uncertainty. The decision maker does not know all the alternatives, the risks associated with each, or the likely consequences of each alternative. Exercise: Ask participants to forward steps in making decisions and summarize Decision making steps Most models of problem solving and decision making include the following phases: 1. Define the problem Defining the problem: (with input from yourself and others) Ask yourself and others, the following questions: including what is happening, where, how, with whom and why. 2. Look at potential causes for the problem: If the problem still seems overwhelming, break it down by repeating steps until you have descriptions of several related problems. 3. Identify alternatives for approaches to resolve the problems: It helps a great deal to verify your problem analysis for conferring with a peer or someone else. 4. Select an approach to resolve the problem 5. Plan the implementation of the best alternative (this is your action plan) 6. Monitor implementation of the plan 7. Verify if the problem has been resolved or not PART 5. LEADERSHIP There are a number of definitions of leadership. We are using the following working definition for our purpose: It is a process of directing and influencing another individual or group of individual to accomplish a goal. It is the art and ability of inspiring, guiding, and directing people so that they ardently desire to do what the leader wishes Therefore, Leadership involves three things the leader, the follower and the situation. The leader should be capable of influencing the behavior of followers for attainment of desired objectives. The leaders should also take into account the situation of different events to come up with right leadership style and shift his/her strategy in accordance with the environment for gaining maximum impact Leadership and management Are you a manager or a leader? Although you may hear these two terms thrown out interchangeably, they are in fact two very different roles complement each other. Current opinion is that they are different concepts but they overlap considerably. The choices between leadership versus management are profound, and both are highly valuable to a strong organization. Exercise: Facilitator: ask participants what leader mean and its characteristics? Characteristics of an effective leader The followings are some of the characteristics of a best leader Search for opportunities for change and improvement: A leader is rarely satisfied with the way things are. Instead, the leader regularly takes his/her nose off the grindstone and looks ahead into
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 17 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual the future to envision how things could be. Leaders are change agents. They are never satisfied with the status quo, but believe that with a bit of effort things could be much better. Given this belief, leaders are the ones who have ideas or dreams about ways to improve a situation. Experiment and take risks: A leader is not afraid of failure, believing that failure is never the end of the road, but merely a stepping-stone to eventual success Envision the future: A leader always has a future orientation, an eye for what might be. This is not an empty, wishful thinking for things to be better. The leader agrees with the saying: ―If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.‖ A leader does not just wish for a better future. Instead, he/she forms a vision of what that better future could be and has a general idea of how to get there. Enlist others to follow: An individual can be a leader only if he/she has people who are ready to follow his/her lead. Therefore, to be a leader, one has not only to form a vision of a better future, but has to persuade others to come along on the march to that future. This means that a leader has to be a salesperson. The potential followers are the customers. The envisioned future is what the leader is selling. It is not enough for the leader to build a better mousetrap (i.e., vision of the future); he/she has to convince others that the envisioned future is better than the present and worth working for. Foster collaboration: A leader cannot make the envisioned future real by him/herself Lead by doing: A leader must practice what he/she preaches; he/she walks his/her talk. A leader realizes that followers will do as he/she does, not just, what he/she says. Build commitment to action: A leader knows that there are three aspects in human behavior: the cognitive, the emotional, and the conative. The cognitive aspect refers to thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and information. Human beings make decisions and act based on how they interpret a situation or person. The emotional aspect refers to one‘s feelings, attitudes, and values. These too shape human behavior. We will do those things we like, avoid those we dislike, and expend energy for something that we value. The conative aspect refers to the will to act, to resolve, to commitment. Without the presence of this aspect, our behavior is quickly broken or never activated. The leader knows that if he/she wants to change things, he/she must make sure that followers have a commitment to the proposed change. Foster Conflict Resolutions (win-win) - Effectively handles disagreements and conflicts. Settles disputes by focusing on solving the problems, without offending egos. Three Styles of Leadership If you think about leaders and how decisions are made, there really are about three distinct styles with many variations in-between. At one extreme we have the autocratic leader that makes almost a unilateral decision on how to proceed. At the other extreme we have a laissez faire leader that allows the followers or employees to make all the decisions. In the middle of these two extremes, we have democratic leaders which allow for more participation in the decision making process. 1) Authoritarian (Autocratic) This type is used when the leader tells his/her group what he/she wants to be done and how he/she wants it to be done, without getting the advice of his/her people. They retain most of the authority for themselves. They make decisions confidently and assume that group members will comply; they are concerned with group members‘ attitudes toward decisions. They are considered task-oriented because they place heavy emphasis on getting tasks accomplished. Typical autocratic behaviors include telling people what to do, asserting themselves, and serving as models for team members. Leader tells his employees what he wants done and how he wants it done, without getting the advice of his people.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 18 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual 2) Democratic (Participative) Participative leaders share decision making with group members. This style involves the leader including one or more group members in determining what to do and how to do it. It encompasses so many behaviors that it can be divided into three subtypes: consultative, consensus, and democratic. Consultative leaders confer with group members before making a decision. However, the leader maintains the final decision-making authority. This is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength that your group will respect. Consensus leaders are called that because they strive for consensus. Democratic leaders confer final authority on the group. They function as collectors of group opinion and take a vote before making a decision. 3) Delegative (Free rein) In this style, the leader allows the team (or individual) to make the decision. Free-rein leaders turn over virtually all authority and control to the group. Leadership is provided to the group indirectly rather than directly. Group members are presented a task to perform and are given free rein to figure out how to perform it best. The leader does not get involved unless requested. Team members are allowed all the freedom they want as long as they do not violate policy. In short, the free rein leader delegates completely. However, the leader is still responsible for the decisions that are made. Exercise: Which style is the best?  Which leadership style are you applying now in your work setting or home?  Are you aware of using the style?  Do you consciously decide which style to use? If so, what criteria influence that decision?  Which leadership style do you think is the best, if any? Why? A good leader uses all three styles, and adapts depending on the specific relationship between the followers, the leader, and the situation. Some examples include:  Using an authoritarian style with a new group member who is just learning the job. The leader is competent and a good coach. The individual is motivated to learn a new skill. The situation is a new environment for the individual in question.  Using a participative style with team members who know their job. Exercise: DAC – Direction, Alignement, Commitment: 20 minutes From your conversations, it sounds like there were a lot of different thoughts about effective leadership and what it looks like. But there was also some overlap. So, there are lots of definitions out there; this is just one. Share DAC using flip chart: Direction – Before you tell them what D means, ask everyone to stand up and close their eyes. Then, ask them to face west. Give them some time to giggle and say ―I don‘t know.‖ Then, ask them to face east….then south…then north. Then, ask them to open their eyes to see if they are headed in the same direction. Make a joke about who we should follow to dinner. Emphasize the importance of shared Direction. Direction is about creating a shared vision – everyone knows and agrees on which way we are headed. For example, it is like the plan a football team might have before they go out on the field. Alignment – this is everyone knowing their roles and how resources are being allocated, like the different positions people play on a football team. What would happen if everyone thought they were the midfielder? Commitment – this is everyone being in agreement to following through on the plan, like when the football players break and yell a cheer.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 19 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Invite participants to reflect on their Visual Explorer image and think about how it aligns with DAC. Is it more about the D, the A, or the C? Ask them to put their image up on the wall under the D, A, or C, depending on where they think it belongs. Debrief the wall and note any interesting themes or connections. (10 min) (If you are in a large group, you might consider doing this on two walls.) Purpose-To help Participants internalize and relate to the experience their ever had anywhere on leadership Key question to ask if you have time: What is the difference between leadership and leader? DAC Newspaper Tower: (10 min), Debrief (10 min), total (20 min) Directions: Divide the big groups into groups of five participants. Instruct them that they have 7 minutes to create the best, freestanding tower that they can. They can only use the newspaper and masking tape. As they go through this activity, whenever they ask you about the directions, just repeat, Best tower in 7 minutes. Put the time pressure on – only 5 minutes….2 minutes, etc. At the end, you can have a little tour/rating, if you want. But don‘t spend too much time here – determining the best tower is not really the point of this activity. Debrief: (what, so what, now what) • How did Direction show up in this activity? • Alignment? • Commitment? • Did anyone check out of the activity? • How did that impact your team? It will be helpful if the facilitator has circled the room during the tower building to note how DAC was expressed in different groups – some groups might have distinct roles for each member, some groups might try several different plans, or directions, for the tower, etc. Purpose: To see the image that they selected for effective leadership the post where can fit. Weather it reflects D and A, D and C, A and C or if it has all (DAC) to put in the middle. This shows how depth they got ideas about DAC. PART 6. TAKING A STAND Rosa Park Story is read out loud HISTORY OF ROSA PARKS (Civil rights pioneer) Famed civil rights activist Rosa Parks was born Rosa Louise McCauley on February 4, 1913, in Tuskegee, Alabama. Her refusal to surrender her seat to a white passenger on a public bus Montgomery, Alabama, spurred on a citywide boycott and helped launch nationwide efforts to end segregation of public facilities In 1932, at age 19, Rosa met and married Raymond Parks, a barber and an active member of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. With Raymond's support, Rosa earned her high school degree in 1933. She soon became actively involved in civil rights issues by joining the Montgomery chapter of the NAACP in 1943, serving as the chapter's youth leader as well as secretary to NAACP President E.D. Nixon—a post she held until 1957 The Montgomery City Code required that all public transportation be segregated and that bus drivers had the "powers of a police officer of the city while in actual charge of any bus for the purposes of carrying out the provisions" of the code. While operating a bus, drivers were required to provide separate but equal
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 20 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual accommodations for white and black passengers by assigning seats. This was accomplished with a line roughly in the middle of the bus separating white passengers in the front of the bus and African-American passengers in the back. When an African-American passenger boarded the bus, they had to get on at the front to pay their fare and then get off and re-board the bus at the back door. When the seats in the front of the bus filled up and more white passengers got on, the bus driver would move back the sign separating black and white passengers and, if necessary, ask black passengers give up their seat. On December 1, 1955, after a long day's work at a Montgomery department store, where she worked as a seamstress, Rosa Parks boarded the Cleveland Avenue bus for home. She took a seat in the first of several rows designated for "colored" passengers. Though the city's bus ordinance did give drivers the authority to assign seats, it didn't specifically give them the authority to demand a passenger to give up a seat to anyone (regardless of color). However, Montgomery bus drivers had adopted the custom of requiring black passengers to give up their seats to white passengers, when no other seats were available. If the black passenger protested, the bus driver had the authority to refuse service and could call the police to have them removed As the bus Rosa was riding continued on its route, it began to fill with white passengers. Eventually, the bus was full and the driver noticed that several white passengers were standing in the aisle. He stopped the bus and moved the sign separating the two sections back one row and asked four black passengers to give up their seats. Three complied, but Rosa refused and remained seated. The driver demanded, "Why don't you stand up?" to which Rosa replied, "I don't think I should have to stand up." The driver called the police and had her arrested. Later, Rosa recalled that her refusal wasn't because she was physically tired, but that she was tired of giving in The police arrested Rosa at the scene and charged her with violation of Chapter 6, Section 11, of the Montgomery City Code. She was taken to police headquarters, where, later that night, she was released on bail Montgomery Bus Boycott On the evening that Rosa Parks was arrested, E.D. Nixon, head of the local chapter of the NAACP, began forming plans to organize a boycott of Montgomery's city buses. Ads were placed in local papers, and handbills were printed and distributed in black neighborhoods. Members of the African-American community were asked to stay off city buses on Monday, December 5, 1955—the day of Rosa's trial—in protest of her arrest. People were encouraged to stay home from work or school, take a cab or walk to work. With most of the African-American community not riding the bus, organizers believed a longer boycott might be successful On the morning of December 5, a group of leaders from the African-American community gathered at the Mt. Zion Church in Montgomery to discuss strategies, and determined that their boycott effort required a new organization and strong leadership. They formed the Montgomery Improvement Association, electing Montgomery newcomer Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as minister of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church. The MIA believed that Rosa Parks's case provided an excellent opportunity to take further action to create real change. When Rosa arrived at the courthouse for trial that morning with her attorney, Fred Gray, she was greeted by a bustling crowd of around 500 local supporters, who rooted her on. Following a 30-minute hearing, Rosa was found guilty of violating a local ordinance and was fined $10, as well as a $4 court fee. Inarguably the biggest event of the day, however, was what Rosa's trial had triggered. The Montgomery Bus Boycott, as it came to be known, was a huge success. The city's buses were, by and large, empty. Some people carpooled and others rode in African- American-operated cabs, but most of the estimated 40,000 African-American commuters living in the city at the time had opted to walk to work that day—some as far as 20 miles Due to the size and scope of, and loyalty to, boycott participation, the effort continued for several months. The city Montgomery had become a victorious eyesore, with dozens of public buses sitting idle, ultimately severely crippling finances for its transit company. With the boycott's progress, however, came strong resistance. Some segregationists retaliated with violence. Black churches were burned, and both Martin Luther King Jr.'s and E.D. Nixon's homes were destroyed by bombings. Still, further attempts were made to end the boycott. The insurance was
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 21 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual canceled for the city taxi system that was used by African Americans. Black citizens were arrested for violating an antiquated law prohibiting boycotts In response to the ensuing events, members of the African-American community took legal action. Armed with the Brown v. Board of Education decision, which stated that separate but equal policies had no place in public education, a black legal team took the issue of segregation on public transit systems to the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Alabama, Northern (Montgomery) Division; Rosa's attorney, Fred Gray, filed the suit. In June 1956, the district court declared racial segregation laws (also known as "Jim Crow laws") unconstitutional. The city of Montgomery appealed the court's decision shortly thereafter, but on November 13, 1956, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the lower court's ruling With the transit company and downtown businesses suffering financial loss and the legal system ruling against them, the city of Montgomery had no choice but to lift its enforcement of segregation on public buses, and the boycott officially ended on December 20, 1956. The combination of legal action, backed by the unrelenting determination of the African-American community, made the 381-day Montgomery Bus Boycott one of the largest and most successful mass movements against racial segregation in history Racial Discrimination Although she had become a symbol of the Civil Rights Movement, Rosa Parks suffered hardship in the months following her arrest in Montgomery and the subsequent boycott. She lost her department store job and her husband was fired after his boss forbade him to talk about his wife or their legal case. Unable to find work, they eventually left Montgomery; the couple, along with Rosa's mother, moved to Detroit, Michigan. There, Rosa made a new life for herself, working as a secretary and receptionist in U.S. Representative John Conyer's congressional office. She also served on the board of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America In 1987, with longtime friend Elaine Eason Steele, Rosa founded the Rosa and Raymond Parks Institute for Self- Development. The organization runs "Pathways to Freedom" bus tours, introducing young people to important civil rights and Underground Railroad sites throughout the country In 1992, Rosa published Rosa Parks: My Story, an autobiography recounting her life in the segregated South. In 1995, she published Quiet Strength which includes her memoirs and focuses on the role that religious faith played throughout her life DEATH and LEGACY Rosa Parks received many accolades during her lifetime, including the Spingarn Medal, the NAACP's highest award, and the prestigious Martin Luther King Jr. Award, On September 9, 1996, President Bill Clinton awarded Parks the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor given by the United States' executive branch. The following year, she was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest award given by the U.S. legislative branch. In 1999, TIME magazine named Rosa Parks on its list of "The 20 most influential People of the 20th Century." On October 24, 2005, at the age of 92, Rosa Parks quietly died in her apartment in Detroit, Michigan. She had been diagnosed the previous year with progressive dementia. Her death was marked by several memorial services, among them lying in state at the Capitol Rotunda in Washington, D.C., where an estimated 50,000 people viewed her casket. Rosa was interred between her husband and mother at Detroit's Woodlawn Cemetery, in the chapel's mausoleum. Shortly after her death, the chapel was renamed the Rosa L. Parks Freedom Chapel February 4, 2013 marks what would have been Rosa Parks's 100th birthday. In celebration of Parks's centennial, memorial ceremonies and other events honoring the civil rights activist have been planned nationwide. Among these honors, a commemorative U.S. Postal Service stamp, called the Rosa Parks forever stamp and featuring a rendition of the famed activist, debuted on Parks's centennial birthday. Later that month, President Barack Obama unveiled a statue honoring Parks in the nation's Capitol building. He remembered Parks, according to The New York Times, by
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 22 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual saying "In a single moment, with the simplest of gestures, she helped change America and change the world. . . . And today, she takes her rightful place among those who shaped this nation’s course." The sculpture was designed by Robert Firm in and sculpted by Eugene Daub Exercise: Facilitator asks participants to work in pair on the following questions: 1. What did you think about the story 2. How did you feel listening to the story Response is collected from different groups depending on the number of participants Facilitators ask participants to take 15 minutes to write: 1. Their own stories, where they took a stand and 2. Their vision where they are personally committed to realizing Listen to stories and future vision from few volunteers In Plenary facilitator asks 1. What does taking a stand mean to you? Possible answers from participants:  It‘s being behind what we believe in  It‘s something we want to be part of In plenary, facilitators asks : 1. Why is it important to take a stand as a Leader? Facilitators debrief on following learning points:  Taking a stand as a leader will make us focused  We take a stand for issues that are important to us  When we feel we have to do the right thing- when we see injustice  To make a stand we are drawing from our inner integrity  It feels like it‘s our purpose Facilitators asks participants to form a group of 4 people to work on the following question (20 minutes): 1. What are some of the steps for taking a stand? Collect possible answers from participants and debrief on the following learning points:  Knowing oneself- the previous exercises of soul profile and social identity can help  Reflecting/ journaling  Acknowledge that it could be against the norm
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 23 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Mission and vision statement Exercise: Facilitator Write Mission Vs Vision on flip chart. Start with the following question: What is Mission Vs Vision? (5 min) following their replay debrief them with the following notes, if possible facilitator has to tell locally available organizations/associations mission and vision statements with their purpose including SIDE‘s Unleashing the Power of Purpose Does your team know your mission and vision? Imagine going to work each day, full of purpose and conviction. You strongly believe in yourself /group values and you are passionately committed to its mission. Because you understand the good that your group does in the community, you love what you do. You're happy to come into the work, and you put your heart and soul into your plan, because you know it matters. People can be genuinely inspired if their effort has a compelling vision and a clear, worthwhile mission; and these can be powerfully expressed in well-crafted mission and vision statements. These statements can be highly motivating when they are expressed clearly and with intent, and when they are communicated effectively to everyone in the group/community. They also express your group purpose to potential customers, suppliers and the media, on whom they can have the same effect, too. Below, we'll explore how to create motivating statements. Mission and Vision Statements These statements are the words leaders use to explain an organization's purpose and direction. When expressed clearly and concisely, they can motivate yourself or the team as a whole, with an inspiring vision of the future. Purpose The two statements do distinctly different jobs. Mission statements define the association‘s purpose and primary objectives. These statements are set in the present tense, and they explain why you exist as a business, both to members of the organization and to people outside it. Mission statements tend to be short, clear and powerful. Vision statements also define your association‘s purpose, but they focus on its goals and aspirations. These statements are designed to be uplifting and inspiring. They're also timeless: even if the organization changes its strategy, the vision will often stay the same. Application Usually, people write these statements for an organization, or for an organizational unit or a team. You can also create your own statements to define the goals of long-term projects or initiatives. Examples Some examples of vision statements are shown below:  Ethiopian Airlines: to become the most competitive and leading aviation group in Africa by providing safe, market driven, and customer focused passenger and cargo transport, aviation training, flight catering, MRO and ground services by 2025."
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 24 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual  Ethiopian ministry of justice: “ensuring the prevalence of democratic system, good governance, and social justice.”  Ministry of education: building an education and training system which assures quality and equity education by the year 2020 that aims at producing competent citizens."  Enat Bank of Ethiopia: to become a world class bank mainly by leveraging women’s capabilities. Tip: These examples are concise, focused and inspiring. Do everything you can to make your statements similarly succinct – long, rambling statements can show that managers haven't made tough- but-necessary decisions. Exercise: How to Create a Mission Statement To develop your mission statement, follow the steps below. Step 1: Develop Your Winning Idea This is the idea or approach that makes your group stand out from its competitors, and it is the reason that customers come to you and not your competitors. Tip: Developing a "winning idea" is a core goal of business strategy, and it can take a lot of effort to find, shape, test, and refine it Step 2: Clarify Your Goal Make a short list of the most important measures of success for this idea. How to Create a Vision Statement Step 1: Find the Human Value in Your Work First, identify your business mission. Then uncover the real, human value in that mission. For example, how does your business improve communities‘ lives? How do you make the village/woreda/target area a better place? Step 2: Distill Into Values Next, identify what you, your customers and other stakeholders value the most about how your group will achieve this mission. Distill these into values that your group/associations has, or should have. Some examples of values include excellence, integrity, teamwork, originality, equality, honesty, freedom, service, and strength. If you find it hard in identifying your business values, talk to your team members. What values do they think the business stands for, or that it should stand for? Step 3: Combine Your Mission and Values Combine your mission and values, and polish your words until you have an inspiring statement that will energize people, inside and outside your team. It should be broad and timeless, and it should explain why the people in your group do what they do. "We will challenge our skills and abilities, and create strategy/system that's strong, dependable and intuitive, allowing our team to work quickly and effortlessly.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 25 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual PART 7. GROWTH MINDSET Write Growth vs. Fixed Mindset on flip chart. Start with the following question: Exercise: What is Growth Mind Set? (5 min) Being willing to change, and learn, and grow is an important component of leadership. We call this ‗having a growth mind set.‘ Having a growth mind set is one of the most important orientations one can have as a leader. With a fixed mind set, we can get derailed and become stagnant. This research is from Carol Dweck‘s experiments…one of the interesting experiments she did was…She took a bunch of young students into a room and gave them a test. One group, she told ―Wow, you must be really smart, ―no matter how they did on the test. The other group, she told, ―Wow, you really put some good effort in on this.‖ Then, she gave them the option of taking a slightly harder test or a test that was at the same level as the first test. The 2nd group (the effort group) chose to take the more challenging test; the 1st group (the innate smartness group) chose to take the test that was at the same level as the first – they didn‘t want to take a risk. Walk participants through the different items of Growth vs Fixed Mindset using the flip chart. Ask them to think about themselves at work. They should turn to a blank page in their notebook and rate themselves along each item – are they closer to a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? How does that impact their work? Ask them to turn to a neighbor and talk about one item they would like to change. Share Peter Senge quote: “The Fear of not looking Good is the greatest enemy of learning…”
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 26 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Finally, encourage them to do self-assessment on their own notebook.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 27 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 28 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual PART 8. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Emotional Intelligence Facilitator – Introductory story about EQ and IQ Points to emphasize:  EQ is something you can learn. You can raise your EQ.  EQ is really important when working with people successfully and for accomplishing goals. While technical knowledge (algebra, historical facts, etc.) are important, what sets ‗successful‘ people apart is a high EQ.  EQ is about being able to manage yourself and about interacting with other people. Refer to EQ Quadrants on Flip Chart: EQ is made up of 4 different major categories. Let‘s look at self-awareness. Self-awareness means observing oneself and recognizing a feeling as it happens; a realistic self-assessment. Does anyone have an example of this from real life? Maybe someone you know or a situation you‘ve been in where someone or you displayed high self-awareness? Why might this be a good skill to develop? Self-management about handling feelings appropriately, understands what is behind a feeling, or handling ―negative‖ emotions effectively. Examples of this ? Why might this be important? Social awareness is about empathy - being sensitive to other people‘s feelings and understanding their perspective; appreciating diversity and diverse views on issues. Where is this important skill at your community? Managing relationships is about positively managing emotions in others; developing, inspiring, influencing others; collaboration and team work. Where is this important at your family or community? Is there someone here that is really good at doing this? So far, how have the activities we‘ve done during the program fit into EQ? What parts of EQ have you used to be successful today?, or this week? Take 10 minutes to fill out the questions in participant note book/workbook. With a friend, name one thing you can do to improve your EQ this week. What is one skill you would like to work on? IF THERE IS TIME – have participants create brief skits to explore what it looks like when someone has high EQ and when someone has low EQ – perhaps handling a challenging situation with a CBO or beneficiary Definition of Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. If you have high emotional intelligence you are able to recognize your own emotional state and the emotional states of others, and engage with people in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:  Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 29 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual  Self-management – You‘re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.  Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.  Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. Importance of EQ As we know, it‘s not the smartest people that are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual intelligence (IQ) isn‘t enough on its own to be successful in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it‘s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. Emotional intelligence affects:  Your performance at work. Emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging job candidates, many companies now view emotional intelligence as being as important as technical ability and require EQ testing before hiring.  Your physical health. If you‘re unable to manage your stress levels, it can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.  Your mental health. Uncontrolled stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand and manage your emotions, you‘ll also be open to mood swings, while an inability to form strong relationships can leave you feeling lonely and isolated. Your relationships: By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you‘re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life. Technique to develop EQ All information to the brain comes through our senses, and when this information is overwhelmingly stressful or emotional, instinct will take over and our ability to act will be limited to the flight, fight, or freeze response. Therefore, to have access to the wide range of choices and the ability to make good decisions, we need to be able to bring our emotions into balance at will. Memory is also strongly linked to emotion. By learning to stay connected to the emotional part of your brain as well as the rational, you‘ll not only expand your range of choices when it comes to responding to a new event, but you‘ll also factor emotional memory into your decision-making process. This will help prevent you from continually repeating earlier mistakes. To improve your emotional intelligence—and your decision-making abilities—you need to understand and manage your emotions. This is accomplished by developing key skills for controlling and managing overwhelming stress and becoming an effective communicator.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 30 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Developing emotional intelligence through a few key skills: Emotional intelligence (EQ) is built by reducing stress, remaining focused, and staying connected to yourself and others. You can do this by learning key skills. The first two skills are essential for controlling and managing overwhelming stress and the last three skills greatly improve communication. Each skill builds on the lessons learned in practicing the earlier skills and include:  The ability to quickly reduce stress in the moment in a variety of settings  The ability to recognize your emotions and keep them from overwhelming you  The ability to connect emotionally with others by using nonverbal communication  The ability to use humor and play to stay connected in challenging situations  The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence How to learn the key skills that build emotional intelligence The key skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at any time. There is a difference, however, between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn‘t mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can hijack your best intentions. In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to overcome stress in the moment and stress in your relationships by remaining emotionally aware. This means that you can‘t simply read about emotional intelligence in order to master it. You have to experience and practice the skills in your everyday life. Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: Rapidly reduce stress in the moment High levels of stress can overwhelm the mind and body, getting in the way of your ability to accurately ―read‖ a situation, hear what someone else is saying, be aware of your own feelings and needs, and communicate clearly. Being able to quickly calm yourself down and relieve stress helps you stay balanced, focused, and in control—no matter what challenges you face or how stressful a situation becomes. Stress busting: functioning well in the heat of the moment Develop your stress-busting skills by working through the following three steps: Realize when you’re stressed – The first step to reducing stress is recognizing what stress feels like. How does your body feel when you‘re stressed? Are your muscles or stomach tight or sore?  Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Being aware of your physical response to stress will help regulate tension when it occurs.  Identify your stress response – Everyone reacts differently to stress. If you tend to become angry or agitated under stress, you will respond best to stress-relieving activities that quiet you down. If you tend to become depressed or withdrawn, you will respond best to stress- relieving activities that are stimulating. If you tend to freeze—speeding up in some ways while slowing down in others—you need stress-relieving activities that provide both comfort and stimulation.  Discover the stress-busting techniques that work for you – The best way to reduce stress quickly is by engaging one or more of your senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Each
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 31 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing and/or energizing to you. For example, if you‘re a visual person you can relieve stress by surrounding yourself with uplifting images. If you respond more to sound, you may find a wind chime, a favorite piece of music, or the sound of a water fountain helps to quickly reduce your stress levels. Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: Beat relationship stress with emotional awareness Being able to connect to your emotions—having a moment-to-moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your thoughts and actions—is the key to understanding yourself and remaining calm and focused in tense situations with others. Many people are disconnected from their emotions—especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy. This may be the result of negative childhood experiences that taught you to try to shut off your feelings. But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can‘t eliminate them. They‘re still there, whether we‘re aware of them or not. Unfortunately, without emotional awareness, we are unable to fully understand our own motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others. We are also at far greater risk for becoming overwhelmed in situations that appear threatening. What kind of a relationship do you have with your emotions?  Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?  Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach or chest?  Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions?  Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and that of others?  Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making? If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned down or turned off. In order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally intelligent, you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them. Developing emotional awareness Emotional awareness can be learned at any time of life. If you haven‘t learned how to manage stress, it‘s important to do so first. When you can manage stress, you‘ll feel more comfortable reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing the way you experience and respond to your feelings. Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 3: Nonverbal communication Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills and the ability to manage stress. Often, what you say is less important than how you say it, or the other nonverbal signals you send out—the gestures you make, the way you sit, how fast or how loud you talk, how close you stand, or how much eye contact you make. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, you need to be aware of, and in control of, this body language. You also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send you.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 32 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual These messages don‘t stop when someone stops speaking. Even when you‘re silent, you‘re still communicating nonverbally. Think about what you are transmitting as well, and if what you say matches what you feel. If you insist, ―I‘m fine," while clenching your teeth and looking away, your body is clearly signaling the opposite. Your nonverbal messages can produce a sense of interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection—or they can generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest. Tips for improving nonverbal communication Successful nonverbal communication depends on your ability to manage stress, recognize your own emotions, and understand the signals you‘re sending and receiving. When communicating:  Focus on the other person. If you are planning what you‘re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation.  Make eye contact. Eye contact can communicate interest, maintain the flow of a conversation, and help gauge the other person‘s response.  Pay attention to nonverbal cues you‘re sending and receiving, such as facial expression, tone of voice, posture and gestures, touch, and the timing and pace of the conversation. Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: Use humor and play to deal with challenges Humor, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to life‘s difficulties; they lighten your burdens and help you keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings your nervous system back into balance. Playful communication broadens your emotional intelligence and helps you:  Take hardships in stride. By allowing you to view your frustrations and disappointments from new perspectives, laughter and play enable you to survive annoyances, hard times, and setbacks.  Smooth over differences. Using gentle humor often helps you say things that might be otherwise difficult to express without creating a flap.  Simultaneously relax and energize yourself. Playful communication relieves fatigue and relaxes your body, which allows you to recharge and accomplish more.  Become more creative. When you loosen up, you free yourself of rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing you to get creative and see things in new ways. How to develop playful communication: It‘s never too late to develop and embrace your playful, humorous side.  Try setting aside regular, quality playtime. The more you joke, play, and laugh—the easier it becomes.  Find enjoyable activities that loosen you up and help you embrace your playful nature.  Practice by playing with animals, babies, young children, and outgoing people who appreciate playful banter.
Stand for Integrated Development Ethiopia 33 Life skill and youth Leadership training manual Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: Resolve conflict positively Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people can‘t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn‘t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn‘t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships. The ability to manage conflicts in a positive, trust-building way is supported by the previous four skills. Once you know how to manage stress, stay emotionally present and aware, communicate nonverbally, and use humor and play, you‘ll be better equipped to handle emotionally charged situations and catch and defuse many issues before they escalate. Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-building way:  Stay focused in the present. When you are not holding on to old hurts and resentments, you can recognize the reality of a current situation and view it as a new opportunity for resolving old feelings about conflicts.  Choose your arguments. Arguments take time and energy, especially if you want to resolve them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing about and what is not.  Forgive. Other people‘s hurtful behavior is in the past. To resolve conflict, you need to give up the urge to punish or seek revenge.  End conflicts that can't be resolved. It takes two people to keep an argument going. You can choose to disengage from a conflict, even if you still disagree. PART 9 COMMUNICATIONS Communication is a conscious or unconscious intentional or unintentional process in which feelings and ideas are expressed as verbal or non-verbal messages with the purpose of influencing, informing, persuading, sharing, understanding, reflecting and engaging the self or others. Communication is effective when a concise and clear message is delivered well, received successfully and understood fully. It has the following distinct components.  The sender (source):- the person who passes on or sends the message.  The message:- the content of the information, the idea or thoughts that the sender passes on to another person.  The medium:- the path chosen for the transmission  The receiver:- the person who gets the information  Feedback:- what the receiver ends up doing as a result of the message All effective communicators should consider purpose, occasion and audience when planning their massages. Because it is an exchange process, it always involves at least two language processes (speaking and listening) and sometimes involves all language processes. Exercise: Questions to motivate participants 1. What kind of person do you want to become? Or whose life inspires you? 2. How can you deepen your relationships with the important people in your life? 3. What kind of world do you want to create with your conversations and actions?

Life Skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual_May 2015

Life Skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual_May 2015

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Life Skill and Youth Leadership Training Manual_May 2015