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ANGER Management for Kids

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What to do when you are ANGRY!
A practical workshop for kids on managing anger.
Conducted as part of CHAMPS year long programme on Life Skills for 10-12 year kids at Margao, Goa, India.

Covers below Anger-Dousing Methods in detail:
#1 Take a Break
#2 Think Cool Thoughts
#3 Release ANGER Safely
-Active Method: Physical Activity
-Slowing Down Method: Breathe, Stretch
#4 Work It Out or Just Let Go
–Be Flexible
–Compromise

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ANGER Management for Kids

  1. 1. What to do when you are ANGRY! A practical workshop for kids on managing anger Conducted as part of CHAMPS year long programme on Life Skills for 10-12 year kids at Margao Happy Honest Humble Courageous Confident Creative Clear Calm Humble Healthy Harmonious Mature Mindful Mannered Motivated Methodical Accountable Adaptable Analytical Assertive Active Problem Solver Persevering Positive Planner Strong Sincere Sociable Self-aware Self-disciplined Character, Habits, Attitude,Character, Habits, Attitude, Mindset & Personality forMindset & Personality for SuccessSuccess By Dr. Jyoti Hegde Mr. Amey Hegde Life Skills Trainer for Students Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer http://jyotihegde.in http://ameyhegde.in Planner Patient
  2. 2. Words that mean ANGRY HOT MAD FURIOUSHOT MAD FURIOUS IRRITATED ANNOYED FUMING EXPLOSIVE
  3. 3. How does it feel to be ANGRY • Think of a time when you felt ANGRY. What did it feel like? This is where I feel my ANGERThis is where I feel my ANGER
  4. 4. How does it feel to be ANGRY This is what some kids had to say • I just get so TENSE • I want the world to get away from me • Its like my heart is beating out of control • I want to take it out on somebody • My hands start to shake • Everything inside me is jumpy, like it has to get out• Everything inside me is jumpy, like it has to get out • I feel so mad that my head could explode • I just want to break something • It feels like my stomach is tied up in knots
  5. 5. Internal Angry Warning Signs Feel hot Surge of energy Can’t think clearly Want to scream Want to be alone Want to throw thingsWant to be alone Want to throw things Feel like crying Head pounds Stomach turns or knots up Want to make the other person feel bad Can’t get my mind off of it Feel like hurting the person Body shakes Want to run away Feel “brain locked” Fast breathing Want to swear Other reaction? (Not on cards)
  6. 6. Is ANGER a good or a bad thing? • It’s our body’s way of telling us that we don’t like what’s going on.don’t like what’s going on. • It can make us say things we don’t really mean and do things we would never do if we were calm and in control.we were calm and in control.
  7. 7. QUIZ : Does ANGER Win You Friends? 1. Has ANGER helped you get good grades on school? YES NO 2. Has anyone ever said, “I want to be your friend2. Has anyone ever said, “I want to be your friend because you are so good at becoming ANGRY”? YES NO 3. Has your mom or dad ever been nicer to you because you got ANGRY about something?you got ANGRY about something? YES NO 4. Have you ever fallen asleep with a smile on your face, thinking about all the times you got ANGRY that day? YES NO
  8. 8. 5. Have you ever gotten in trouble for something you said or did when you were ANGRY? YES NO QUIZ : Does ANGER Win You Friends? 6. Have you ever felt bad, after you calmed down, for something you said or did when you were ANGRY? YES NO 7. Have you ever lost out on doing something because you were so busy being ANGRY? YES NO
  9. 9. Think of things that make you ANGRY •Think about School & Home. •Think about your little brother & big sister.• •Think about the things you want that you can’t have. •Think about the things people sometimes say and do that drive you nuts. •Think about the last time you yelled at your mom and dad.
  10. 10. The secret of ANGER! THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY ISANGRY IS YOU. Do you believe this secret?
  11. 11. Situation: Someone takes the last chocolate cookie
  12. 12. I WANTED THAT! What kind of thoughts can make you ANGRY? THAT! NOT FAIR! THOSE ARETHOSE ARE MY FAVOURITE!
  13. 13. I’M NOT HUNGRY ANYWAY DAD SAID HE’D BUY MORE COOKIES What kind of thoughts can help you stay COOL? BUY MORE COOKIES TOMORROW I THINK WE HAVE ICECREAMWE HAVE ICECREAM IN THE FRIDGE In both cases, someone had taken the last cookie. Your thoughts made you angry or helped you stay cool
  14. 14. YOU CAN’T CONTROL WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTROL WHAT YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ANGER
  15. 15. Fire! Fire! Why is ANGER like fire? • It’s HOT • It can RAGE out of control• It can RAGE out of control • It BURNS anyone who gets too close
  16. 16. What to do to make a fire bigger? • Add more wood What to do to make a fire go out? • Don’t add more wood • Pour water on it Feed the fire • Pour water on it Douse the fire
  17. 17. Anger-Dousing Method #1:Take a Break Walk away from the scene of your anger Why? • To calm down and think more clearly• To calm down and think more clearly • To stay out of trouble and come up with a solution ANGER is like a Giant Vacuum Cleaner, its power to suck you in reduces as the distance increases
  18. 18. Take a break from an angry situation • Go to your room • Shoot some baskets • Listen to music Anger-Dousing Method #1:Take a Break • Listen to music • Let your pet dog lick your face • Go to drink a glass of water How to practise it: Kool Knots Each time you step away from the anger, tie a knotEach time you step away from the anger, tie a knot On reaching 10 knots, show your parents & celebrate You can decide the 10 knot celebration in advance
  19. 19. Draw four things you can do while taking a break from an ANGRY situation
  20. 20. Anger-Dousing Method #2: Think Cool Thoughts NOT FAIR! I HATE THIS! HOT Thoughts feed the fire of ANGER I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT! HE ALWAYS GETS HER WAY! ITS NOT WHAT I Cool Thoughts put out the fire of ANGER I CAN DEAL WITH THIS GETTING ANGRY ISNT GOING TO HELP THIS ISN’T WORTH GETTING ANGRY ABOUT ITS NOT WHAT I WANTED BUT I’LL SURVIVE
  21. 21. Think Cool Thoughts: Example • Your class is going for a picnic, and you got paired up with a kid you don’t really like. • Hot thoughts might come NOT FAIR! I HATE THIS! • Will your hot thoughts magically change your partner? • Will your hot thoughts help you enjoy your picnic? • Cool thoughts will help you stay cool NOT FAIR! I HATE THIS! I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT! THAT’S STUPID! • Cool thoughts will help you stay cool THIS ISN’T WORTH GETTING ANGRY ABOUT ITS NOT WHAT I WANTED BUT I’LL SURVIVE Shift your thoughts to the wonderful things you will get to do
  22. 22. Situation: Hot Thoughts Next week is school vacation. So your teacher includes 15 words on this week’s spelling list, instead of the usual 10. THAT’S STUPID I HATE THIS! NOW I WILL NOT GET TIME TO PLAY
  23. 23. Cool Thoughts I CAN DEAL WITH THIS THIS ISN’T WORTH IT’S JUST ONE EXTRA WORD A DAY THIS ISN’T WORTH GETTING ANGRY ABOUT THERE WON’T BE ANY WORDS NEXT WEEK
  24. 24. Write a Cool Thought in the bubble You are playing your favourite game and losing big Your mom shouts at you for teasing your brother, but he started itlosing big time started it Your friend who promised to play with you at recess today, Your mother served you palak last night which you hate. recess today, runs off with someone else instead. which you hate. She just put palak on your plate again. Cool Thoughts work only when you think them yourself!
  25. 25. Our brains see ANGER the same way they see Due to Angry Energy • Heart starts beating faster Anger-Dousing Method #3: Release Anger Safely • Heart starts beating faster • Breathing changes, becomes more shallow • Muscles tighten up Angry Energy needs to be released a)Active Method:a)Active Method: Move your body fast to burn it off b) Slowing Down Method: Slow your body down
  26. 26. Active Method • Physical activity: faster the better, at least 10-15 mins • Jog • Skip • Dance • Parents’ exercise bike • Get your heart to beat fast • Exercise your muscles• Exercise your muscles • You should sweat How can you burn off Angry Energy in these places HOME SCHOOL OUTSIDE
  27. 27. Slowing Down Method • First step is to Breathe deeply: It helps to slow down your heartdown your heart • Breathe in through your nose (count 1-2-3 slowly) • Breathe out through your nose (count 1-2-3-4 slowly) • Imagine breathing in your favourite smell • Imagine breathing out all of your hot, ANGRY feelings
  28. 28. Second part of the method involves the rest of the body Stretch your arms way up over your head.• Stretch your arms way up over your head. Reach with your fingertips for the ceiling. Breathe in (1-2-3) & out (1-2-3-4) • Put your hands on your shoulders with your elbows pointed out. Breathe in (1-2-3) as you twist slowly to one side. Breathe out (1-2-3-4) as you twist to the other side. Repeat
  29. 29. Some more ways to Cool-Down • Count to 10 • Pretend to be a big balloon. Fill up with air. Then• Pretend to be a big balloon. Fill up with air. Then relax and let out the air • Turn on soft music and move around slowly • Dim the lights and lie down to rest • Make something with blocks or paint • Squeeze a smiley ball or play dough
  30. 30. When you are ANGRY, the door to the thinking part of your brain closes Anger-Dousing Method #4: Solve the Problem THINKING BREATHE STRETCHCOOL THOUGHT TAKE A BREAK After opening the door to the thinking part of the brain you can Work It Out or Just Move On
  31. 31. Work It Out Sometimes what you want is different from what you can get Being flexible: being able to accept something a bit different from what you originally wanted See if you can think of a flexible solution for below: • You love playing football at recess, but no one remembered to bring the football • You are in the mood for chicken nuggets, but your family is going to a Chinese restaurant for dinneris going to a Chinese restaurant for dinner • You have almost beaten your video game, but your time is up and your sister is waiting for her turn Brainstorming: Thinking of a lot of solutions to a problem
  32. 32. Work It Out: Compromise • When what you want and what the other person wants are totally different, you can go for a Compromise • In a compromise, no one gets exactly what they want, but everyone gets something close to what they want Think of a compromise to solve each of below: • You are starving, but the rule at your house is no snacks• You are starving, but the rule at your house is no snacks right before dinner • You want to ride your cycle but your friend wants to play catch-catch • You want to go outside, but your mom says its time for homework.
  33. 33. Just Move On • Example: In game of catching-cook a person touches your sleeve, not your hand • Deciding to move on means totally letting the problem go • You are deciding not to waste your time and energy• You are deciding not to waste your time and energy fighting against something that doesn’t matter much • Some things you can say to yourself to remind yourself that every situation is not worth fighting for THATS THE WAY WHATEVER THATS THE WAY THINGS GO SOMETIMES ITS NOT WORTH GETTING ANGRY ABOUTITS NOT THAT BIG A DEAL OH WELLWHATEVER
  34. 34. Work It Out or Move On? • You are in line at the canteen and someone cuts in front of you. Work it out Move onWork it out Move on • Your friend promised to go on the swings with you at recess but now she is playing catching cook. Work it out Move on • Your mom just got home from work, and she shouts at you for something you didn’t even do. Work it out Move on
  35. 35. Work It Out or Move On? • Your best friend told you he can’t make it to your birthday party. Work it out Move onWork it out Move on •You are in the middle of doing something and your dad calls you outside to help water the plants. Work it out Move on • Your brother calls you a name just to make you angry. Work it out Move on
  36. 36. Nine COOL ways to deal with a problem
  37. 37. Find a Solution Song Have a problem? Talk it out, work together, don't scream and shout. Problems don't just go away, it all depends on what we do and say.it all depends on what we do and say. Tell what happened, say what's true. Listen to the others point of view. Be polite, don't name-call or fight. Getting even just is not right.Getting even just is not right. List ideas, things that will work. Say sorry if needed, or fix what we broke. Find a solution that we both can do. Try to find one that fits me and you.
  38. 38. Summary of Anger-Dousing Methods • Take a Break • Think Cool Thoughts • Release ANGER Safely – Active Method - Physical Activity – Slowing Down Method– Slowing Down Method • Work It Out – Be Flexible – Compromise or Just Move On
  39. 39. Keep Practising... Grow your ANGER Fuse
  40. 40. QUIZ: Good or Bad reactions to ANGER • Teasing the person back. • Ignoring them. • Putting my head on my desk and thinking about something peaceful.something peaceful. • Taking a deep breath. • Going to my room. • Slamming the door as I go into my room. • Move away from whatever or whoever angered you.you. • Whispering something mean back to the person. • Brush it off and later go and tell all your classmates what happened. • Ignoring them. Then turning to someone else and saying something mean.
  41. 41. • Telling a close friend or adult what's going on. • Running out of the classroom. • Asking your teacher if you can take a break. • Grabbing the ball out of someone else's hands. QUIZ: Good or Bad reactions to ANGER • Grabbing the ball out of someone else's hands. • Stuffing it for the moment and releasing it later by talking about it or doing something physical. • Stuffing it forever. • Draw a picture of what my anger feels like. • Draw a mean picture of the person you're mad at• Draw a mean picture of the person you're mad at and give it to them. • Say something back to the person but without anger or attitude.
  42. 42. Scenarios for Role Plays • Vinay’s brother changed the TV channel he was watching. • A girl took a pencil from Omar’s desk. • Lisa’s younger brother broke her favorite toy. • Some older kids on the playground called Mohan names. • A boy got in front of Tim in the line at the canteen • Dan lost at the board game he played with his friends. • Girls playing skipping told Rina that she couldn’t play with• Girls playing skipping told Rina that she couldn’t play with them. • Tom borrowed Ben’s football without asking. • While playing football a child kicked Mark’s leg.
  43. 43. References: What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger by Dawn Huebner How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger by Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis Seeing Red: An Anger Management and Anti-Bullying Curriculum for Kids by Jennifer Simmonds Cool Down and Work Through Anger by Cheri J. Meiners Kelso's Choice Conflict Management system
  44. 44. This workshop was developed for C.H.A.M.P.S. (Character, Habits, Attitude, Mindset & Personality for Success) CHAMPS is a yearlong programme on Life Skills for kids aged 10-12 years with once a week classes at Margao, Goa, India. It is designed, conducted and organised by by Life Skills Trainer for kids, Dr. Jyoti Hegde & Corporate Trainer Amey Hegde. The CHAMPS programme covers topics from the Life Skills Diamond Model, a framework for the holistic development of children developed by Dr. Jyoti Hegde and Amey Hegde. The Lifethe holistic development of children developed by Dr. Jyoti Hegde and Amey Hegde. The Life Skills Diamond Model has been designed using inputs from the 10 Core Life Skills identified by the World Health Organisation (WHO), Daniel Goleman’s model of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and the competencies identified by CASEL, the leading organization in the US for the teaching of social and emotional skills. It also includes values, good habits, civic sense and care for the environment.
  45. 45. Some of the learning methodologies:  Activity based sessions  Values and Good Habits through Storytelling  Drama & Skits  Stage  Puzzles to sharpen  Brainstorming and Sessions adopt a learning-by-doing approach.  Stage Performances by kids to build Confidence & Public Speaking skills  Puzzles to sharpen Creative Thinking and Out-of-Box Thinking  Brainstorming and other Techniques for Creative Problem Solving  Role Plays & Simulations to develop Social  Mindfulness Techniques for improved  Book Reading sessions to develop Love for Readingdevelop Social Skills improved Concentration Love for Reading  Audio Visual Clippings  Memory Techniques  Practical projects  Decision making & Critical Thinking through Chess  Activities on Body Language and Voice Modulation  Board Games for Nutrition & Good Habits
  46. 46. Courageous Confident Creative Clear Calm Happy Honest Humble Healthy Harmonious Mature Mindful Accountable Adaptable Analytical Assertive Active Strong Sincere Character, Habits, Attitude,Character, Habits, Attitude, Mindset & Personality forMindset & Personality for What is a typical session like? Sessions begin with preparation of learning charts where kids write and draw about their learning from last session. Kids then present the learning charts. This is followed by the topic of the day. Application of Learning through Assignments & Projects: Kids are given practical assignments/projects to apply the concepts learnt in the class. Examples: Mindful Mannered Motivated Methodical Problem Solver Persevering Positive Planner Patient Sincere Sociable Self-aware Self-disciplined Mindset & Personality forMindset & Personality for SuccessSuccess Kids are given practical assignments/projects to apply the concepts learnt in the class. Examples: writing of daily gratitude diary, taking small responsibilities at home, “Food Ludo” game to eat healthy food, etc. Periodic Reviews: Every quarter there is a review to enable parents to track their kid’s progress. Here, kids present their learning charts/projects/skits on their learning from the sessions. For details, Whatsapp 9096938269 or 9423130756 Email ameyhegde@gmail.com or jyotiheg@gmail.com.
  47. 47. Jyoti is a co-creator of the Life Skills Diamond Model, a framework for holistic development of children. Jyoti's articles and stories related to child development appear in various newspapers and magazines. Dr. Jyoti Hegde is a Corporate Behavioral Trainer, a Life Skills Trainer for students and an internationally published Children’s Author. Jyoti has a degree in Ayurvedic Medicine. She has over thirteen years of work experience in the medical field in various hospitals/medical centres in Bangalore and Goa. Jyoti has been personally trained and mentored by various master trainers to practice and implement international concepts of Positive Psychology, Facilitation Skills, and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) in developing and conducting training programs. Faculty Profile: Dr. Jyoti Hegde Jyoti has co-conducted training sessions on various aspects of behavioral training for employees from reputed organizations like Vedanta, Funskool, The Leela Goa, Sun Pharma and others. She has recently started CHAMPS, a year long programme on Life Skills and Personality Development for kids. Contact Dr. Jyoti on email:jyotiheg@gmail.com, Mobile: +91-9423130756, visit http://jyotihegde.in
  48. 48. Faculty Profile: Amey Hegde Amey Hegde is an internationally certified Corporate Behavioral Trainer, Management Consultant and an internationally published Author. Amey’s academic qualifications include Post Graduate Studies in Behavioral Sciences Training and graduate studies in Electronics & Telecom Engineering from Goa Engineering College. He has also been trained by eminent faculty from IITs, IIMK and SIBM Pune in areas of technology and management. Amey has been personally coached by various master motivational trainers on the mindsets and skills sets to practice and implement international concepts of Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats® and Lateral Thinking™, Facilitation Skills, and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) in developing and conducting training programs. He has been personally trained and certified to practise Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) by Andrew Austin,has been personally trained and certified to practise Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) by Andrew Austin, the founder of IEMT. Amey is a certified Master Trainer of I Create for training aspiring entrepreneurs. He is also certified to administer and debrief the internationally acclaimed psychometric assessment Thinking Pattern Profile™. Amey has over 17 years of work experience and has worked with several MNCs and Fortune 100 clients in Europe and India and was last working at Wipro Technologies, Bangalore. Amey has trained innumerable participants - from workmen to Directors of leading organizations to enhance their personal & professional productivity. Amey has also conducted executive coaching and psychometric assessments for Managers. Amey has also conducted trainings for sex workers, inmates and staff of Sada jail and for the Indian Army. Amey was recently awarded at the World HRD Congress for outstanding contribution in Training & Development. His journey as an entrepreneur trainer has been featured in a book “Driven by Passion”Development. His journey as an entrepreneur trainer has been featured in a book “Driven by Passion” containing narratives of 24 first generation entrepreneurs from Goa. Contact Amey on email:ameyhegde@gmail.com, Mobile: +91-9096938269, visit http://ameyhegde.in Partial list of Amey’s clients:
  49. 49. Partial List of Clients Our Contact Details: ameyhegde@gmail.com +91-9096938269 http://ameyhegde.in jyotiheg@gmail.com +91-9423130756 http://jyotihegde.in Partial List of Clients Partial List of Clients 50
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What to do when you are ANGRY! A practical workshop for kids on managing anger. Conducted as part of CHAMPS year long programme on Life Skills for 10-12 year kids at Margao, Goa, India. Covers below Anger-Dousing Methods in detail: #1 Take a Break #2 Think Cool Thoughts #3 Release ANGER Safely -Active Method: Physical Activity -Slowing Down Method: Breathe, Stretch #4 Work It Out or Just Let Go –Be Flexible –Compromise

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