Chapter 5.1 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

1. Welcome back to the Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy! If you haven't read any of the other chapters, it would probably be a good idea to do so. This chapter is being introduced by the Simself of LucyPeppeR, writer of the fabulously wacky Obsession Legacy. "Thanks, Fire. Also, thanks again for Remus*!" Anytime. *See my Christmas special.

2. "Right then. Last time, there was a birth, birthdays aplenty and, well, a plot." Yes. We're going to cover both chaper 4.5 and Another Absolutely Crazy Interruption in this recap. The Christmas special is not really important to the plot, except for continuity reasons. "Important to me, though." Yeah, since you got your man-candy.

3. "Bella, the current heir, had her third child, a girl. Named Corinna. You pick strange names." Oh yeah? How about yours - Q, Unforgiveable, Imperius, T'Pol...? "Er. Right. Moving on."

4. "But the family was struck by the evil firstborn effect and she turned out to be a clone of her brother and sister. So their hair colours got changed and eventually the girls will get some facial modification to make them unique."

5. "There were heaps of birthdays, but the final results were: Matt turning into a teenager..." He's Pleasure/Romance. And a complete pain.

6. "...Corinna hitting childhood..." Very cutely, too.

7. "...and Temperance becoming a teen. She's fairly straight-laced, yes?" Indeed. A bit up herself, too. Holier-than-thou and all that. "Ah."

8. "Oh, in the Interruption we were introduced to Veronica Smith, daughter of the evil Stella Chandler. Veronica has changed her appearance from ugly quarter-alien to beautiful, brainless blonde. She's masquerading as one Vanessa May Jones in an attempt to weasel her way into the Chandler Greek House." Not on my watch.

9. Right, thanks Lucy. ...Lucy? Never mind.

10. I thought you only liked dancing to lure in women? "That's right. What's more, I am definitely not encouraging my little sister to take up dancing, either."

11. What's the matter, Tempe? "I'm worried about university. Will I get hassled by the mascots? Will Gladys eat me? Will I get my 4.0?" Calm down, Tempe. You'll do fine. Unless you work youself to death.

12. Bella, I thought we'd been through this. No espresso! "Thenwhydowehavehtemachinehmmm?" Because your mother likes the occasional cup. Unlike you. You drink it like water. "OrnectarhmmwhatanideaI'llgodrinksomenectarnowshallI?" No. No drinky. "Awwyou'resuchaspoilsport."

13. Speaking of spoilsports... "Boo!" "Agh! Grandmama!" "Hello, dear. My, you've grown." "Old. I'm old. And I'll be joining you soon if you don't stop scaring me!" Three times. I'm lucky she didn't go into motive failure.

14. Time to get going, Matt? "Yeah. There aren't enough girls around here." You incorrigible Pleasure Sim, you.

15. "Look out Sim State, here I come!" Women of Veronaville, beware.

16. "A dog just knocked over our rubbish bin." Indeed. You got a promotion. "Does that mean I have to go to University too?" Wait for Rin's birthday. Then you can go for your life.

17. ...Ryker, what are you doing here? "I'm... not sure. I'll just go now." He wandered onto the lot, up to Bella's room, and wandered right back out again. Perhaps a glitch? Or maybe he's become a stalker!

18. Speaking of glitches... "Matt doesn't live here anymore! Quit calling!" This random who Matt has never met keeps calling at about 7:00pm every night. I have no idea why.

19. Holly, yet again. Come to scare the living daylights out of Beka again? "No, I want to see Rin's birthday party." How come we never see much of Susan? "You know what she's like. Too busy learning the secrets of life, the universe, and everything." 42. "Huh?" Never mind.

20. "Make a wish, Rin darling!" "Okay, I want a puppy!" I think she means a lifetime wish. "Fine, fine."

21. "I wish for boys! Lots and lots of boys!" Rin rolled Romance/Pleasure. Her LTW is (joy) to WooHoo 20 different Sims. Haven't we seen this one before?

22. "Ahh, this is MUCH better." The green suits you. "Thanks. So, when do I get a bubble blower?" *sigh* When you go to college. *pouts*

23. "Taxi to Sim State, please." No more nerves? "Nope. I can't wait to get away from Rin." That's not nice, she's your sister. "She's too... bouncy." Might be all the espresso she drinks.

24. "Matt better not have trashed the place much." Knowing him, it'll be in smoking ruins. "That's the best case. Worst case, the Greek House will be a big crater."

25. "Little sister!" "Big brother! Get your arms off me, people might think we're related." "Aww, such sweet sentiment." "Your sarcasm has been duly noted." Look, the Greek House is still standing.

26. "She's right. I'm surprised at you. You haven't done anything destructive?" "Oh ye of little faith." "Fine. Where's the placeholder that mum mentioned?" "Jackie?" "...Why do you say her name like that?"

27. "Like what?" "Matt, you didn't..." "Didn't what?" "Did you sleep with her?"

28. "Um. No?" He did. He's lying. "MATT!" "What?"

29. "Okay, okay. She thinks that ballet is manly and I look sexy in my leotard." "...You're still seriously going to be a ballet dancer?" "So what?" "Matt's a ballerina! Matt's a ballerina!" "Cut that out!" "Matt's a ballerin-oof!" "NOOGIE TIME!"

30. "This stuff I can handle. Term papers, assignments, classes... *sigh*... it's good to be back in the saddle." "Hey, sexy. Get a load of THIS merchandise!" "Get lost, cotton-bud head." Nobody can distract her when she's in her element, Stalky Streaker. Give it up.

31. Matt, that's not Jackie. "Jackie who?" Why, you cad. "Hey, Pleasure/Romance Sim here." Doesn't make you any less of a cad.

32. Uh, Matt? I wouldn't. "Why not? Espresso sounds fun." Espresso makes most of your family go nuts. Just look at Rin. "That's meant to deter me... how?"

33. Didn't work, obviously. "NopebutIdon'tthinkIlikethisstuffitmakesmefeellikeIlickedatwelvevoltbattery." Good. Steer clear of it.

34. Romance novels? I thought you were too serious for that stuff. "I'm studying how NOT to write novels, thank you." Riiight.

35. "Tsk, Matt's been letting things go around here. The bathroom's filthy, the bills haven't been paid, the stove needs a good scrub... It's a wonder it's still standing." He's not purposely careless, Tempe. It's just his nature.

36. "Well, I'm going to change things around here. Starting with the menu. They've been living off pizza and ramen noodles for too long." "Aww, Tempe, I didn't know you cared. I knew that the hard-heartedness was just an act." "Go play with your bubble-blower, Pleasure-Boy." "Or not."

37. Meanwhile, back with Rin... "Ugh, homework's so hard. Why'd you have to leave before you could do my homework, Tempe?" Rin! I'm appalled. "Hey, I'm not the braniac! I'm the lovable extrovert!" I thought you were the annoying extrovert. "Hey!"

38. Oh, what was it I said about Susan never showing up? I take it back. "Hello there, Beka. How are things?" "Fine, until you scared the living daylights out of me!" "Sorry dear, it's my job now. How's little Bella doing?" "Fine, once you get her away from the nectar bar." "Oh dear. Strain of being heir gotten to her?" "No, it's mostly the fact she has to pay for three kids to get into college." "Oh."

39. Oh, look who's come to visit. Hello, Gaara*. "Hello, RealFire. Is this the Legacy lot?" Yep yep. Run while you still can. "Sound advice. I shall follow it." *Gaara is Lark's fiance in her asylum challenge. See my Christmas special to find out why he's here.

40. *yawn* "Good morning, Fire." Mornin', Rin. Guess what? "You bought me a puppy?" ...No. You get to go to college today. "Can I have a puppy instead?" When you kick your espresso habit. "I'll never get one, will I?" Nope.

41. "Uh, yeah. Taxi, please... what do you mean, 'what address'? It's the Legacy lot! Duh!" Last bird to leave the nest. "No, I don't want a padded van, I want a taxi! T-A-X-I."

42. "Finally." Well, that's all of them away. Let's see how Bells feels about it.

43. Well, Bella? What's it like to have an empty nest? "Great. I get to invite Ry over for smoochies now!" Don't want to know.

44. How about you, Beka? "Woohoo! No more nappies, bottles, unmade beds, messy rooms, homework or schmoozing with principals!" Until gen six makes its appearance. "Hopefully I'll be dead by then."

45. "You're here, Rin." "Big sister! *hugs*" "Get offa me." "You love it." "Nope. Get offa me." "Why are you hugging back?" "I'm trying to strangle you."

46. "Door-Matt!" "Rin-around-the-rosie! Howaya?" "Better when I get out of these bland clothes." Of course.

47. As promised, I'm doing a makeover for the girls pre-heirpoll. This is Rin getting her surgery. "It tickles!" I'll bet.

48. And now it's Tempe's turn. Yes, I'm keeping you in suspense (unless you've seen the heir poll). "Do I have to do this?" Yes, you little Matt-clone. "Anything to avoid looking like him."

49. And here they are, the shining hope of Generation Five. "Yay for us!" "We're doomed." Heir poll is on boolprop.com, go vote if you get the chance!

50. Matt, what have I told you about this? "Hey, at least I'm cheating on Jackie with the same girl." You're still a cad.

51. See? "I'm just sampling all the icecream before I settle on my single flavour." Ugh. Pleasure Sims.

52. What? The Diva? "She's rich, she's hot. What's not to like?" She has a stabby nose and she's not very nice. "So? I like a challenge."

53. Oh, hi Fire. "Hi, RealMe. Is he with ANOTHER girl?" 'Fraid so. "Tsk."

54. Jackie, our long-suffering placeholder, has at last graduated. I'll be putting her to work in Downtown. Placeholding. Well, she's so good at it...

55. Who are you talking to, Rin? "Some guy. I'm trying to start on my LTW." Heaven help us.

56. "Hey, Calvin, you're pretty hot, you know." "Whoo, Romance Sim!" He's doomed. I see a slapfest on the way. "Are you implying that I'm indiscreet?" "Who are you talking to?" "I didn't say anything."

57. "Kissy kissy!" He's actually not that bad looking. He's going onto my list of future fathers.

58. Matt's been doing some seducin' of his own. She's barely been gone a day! "Shush, let me enjoy the moment." I might leave you two for a bit.

59. *sigh* I'm getting sick of these guys. Either they leave everyone upset for weeks, or they beat the pathetic cops and bugger off again.

60. And there you have it. Cop beats robber, Sims cry and are furious for ages. Bleah. "I might clean up the kitchen while I'm up." "Tempe, there's like a robber there!" "So what?"

61. "*sobsob* We got burgled!" Nothing got taken, hun. The alarm worked and everything. "I know, but *sniff* it's so SCARY!"

62. "I know what I'll do to console myself. Calvin, c'mere." "My wish is your command, O flame-haired temptress." I think I know what's coming next.

63. Yup yup. I'm gonna give you some privacy. "Hey, Calvin, you have a pocketknife?" "Why?" "Oh, no reason. Just wanted to put a notch into the bedhead." "Again, why?" "There's two in the other side and it looks uneven."

64. No sooner is lover-boy out the door when Rin does this. Autonomously. "I find your lack of clothes very attractive." "You are much more friendly than your sister." "She is not, she's a Romance Sim with an attitude problem." "Butt out, Tempe. I'm flirting." "I noticed."

65. Rin! Will you never stop changing your mind? "Hello, LTW to fulfil here. Plus, he's one of my professors, so I get good marks this semester." That's... just... wrong. Really. It was a Dream Date, unfortunately.

66. "Mum! What are you doing here? I'm on a date, shoo!" "Rin, you should just pick someone and settle down." "I don't want to do that. Now can you leave me alone? I have to get back to college." You tried, Bella. "She's a wild one." Wilder than you even. "I was never wild." Sure, Miss Espresso.

67. This is ridiculous, Rin. You're at the same place? "Hey, weren't you here last night?" "Um, yes. I was out with my father. *shifty eyes*" "You didn't look very alike." "Plastic surgery." Liar liar. "The surgery bit's true." The father bit isn't.

68. "Hey, Calvin, wanna find out why they call it WooHoo?" .... "WOO HOO!" Moving on...

69. ..To find her, yet again, with someone else. This is turning into the Rin Show. "Not a bad thing." "What about the rest of us? We want screen time too!" "You can have next chapter. Shush, I'm trying to make out here." I see what's coming. Let's leave them. Before I need to bleach my brain.

70. Okay, that's it. No more Rin's Boyfriends for the rest of the chapter. "Oh, come on. Nothing wrong with a little flirting." When it's just flirting, sure. When you lure him into bed, less appealing.

71. "Hey, Fire!" What? Is it another one of your boyfriends? "Nope. I think I found us a placeholder." Who is he? "She. Her name's Vanessa Jones." Uh oh.

72. That's it for Chapter 5.1. Join us next time to find out how much further we get in the Corinna Show, and if Matt and Tempe get any more screen time. Why so down, Rin? "SimCee beat me out of $150 at pool." *laughs*