Chapter 4.3 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

1. Welcome back to The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy! If you haven't read any of the previous chapters, I suggest you do so. Otherwise this next bit will seem a little strange. "Is this the place?" "I believe so." "Yeah, the address is right." You're in the right place, ladies. Go get her.

2. "RealMe, do you know where I left my... HEY! What are you guys doing here?" These three strangers are the Simselves of three extremely talented writers. Lucy (blonde) - LucyPeppeR, writer of the Obsession Legacy Cee (redhead in green) - charris, writer of The Regacy Lark (redhead in grey) - ladylarkrune, writer of Lady Lark's Looney Bin for the Morbidly Insane Go check them out, they're fantastic!

3. "We're here to sort you out, Fire. Vampirism isn't a good idea for Simselves." "Why not? I feel all... vampirey... and stuff." "Simselves need to be available around the clock, not just at night." Yeah. Taking pictures for intros at night stinks. "So take the cure, Fire. You're needed as a Sim, not a vampire."

4. "You think she's persuaded Fire?" "I do not know, but I sincerely hope so." "I do too. Living with a vampire's dangerous. She could bite us, or something." "She will see sense. She is a Simself, after all." "Oh, and all the Simselves in your Legacy have sense?" "Well..."

5. "Okay, okay, I'll take the cure. Let me go call the gypsy." "No need, I thought to bring some with me from Simshire." "I didn't think you guys had this sort of technology over there." "Well..." Oh, shut up and take it.

6. "Fine. It doesn't look healthy though. Usually I avoid drinking anything that glows." "FIRE!" "Get on with it!" "Do hurry up!" You heard the ladies. Bottoms up, Fire.

7. "Ugh! It feels awful!" Well, you ARE having mortality (of a sort) forced back upon you. It's not going to tickle. "How long is this going to take, Fire?" Not sure. Probably not too long.

8. Ah, there we are! Back to the Fire we all know and love. Can we have the intro now? "Sure, sure. Then can I get changed?" Of course.

9. "Okay, recap time. Last time, our primary antagonist Stella Chandler attempted to kill or incapacitate Bella Chandler with the mysterious voodoo doll. Hey, did you notice their names rhyme?" Um, yes. That was my fault. I was too tired to be creative name-wise for Stella. It's kind of a generic alien name now, isn't it? "Just a tad."

10. "Oh, she nearly succeeded too. Bella was frozen solid for a brief period of time." Too brief for Stella's plan. Bella - one, Stella - nil. "You're keeping score?" Not really.

11. "Bella graduated from college Summa Cum Laude, and grew up really pretty." And that's it for the recap. "Indeed. On with the show, wot wot?"

12. "Oh, hang on, we do have some important news. Zoey, who dropped out of college, has married her love and fellow dropout Sam Rayson. They're so sweet together." Yeah, but we now have a problem. Mrs Rayson is no longer eligible for conventional heirship. She's out of the picture. "And the closest eligible female relative to Bella is... Stella." Boy, are we in trouble now.

13. "WHOA! What happened here?" I remodeled. You like? "It's huge!" We-ell, I overcompensated a bit. The upper floor has a huge bedroom, a huge nursery, and two sitting rooms that can be easily converted into bedrooms. If you have lots of kids. "And the lower floor?" A bit more manageable. "Sweet."

14. Any culinary jobs? "Nuh. Almost feels like a waste of a diploma." Right. Let's go shopping, you need new threads. "Yeah, this getup is NOT my style."

15. "Ahh, much better." A turtleneck? "I like it. Don't knock it." Okay, okay.

16. "Oh, Bella, it's so good to have you home! I've been worried about you." "Why?" "Your uncle hasn't answered the phone in months. I've been around there, but nobody answers the door. Last time I saw him, he was afraid that Stella was up to something." "Stella's my friend, mum. She wouldn't do anything like that." "Just be careful, hon."

17. "Grandmama!" "Bella! I'm glad you're home! Time for a portrait sitting, I think." "Grandmama, I've only just walked in the door!" "So? We need to get cracking!" *sigh* "Um. Hello?"

18. "Can we please get back to me? I'm sick of all your 'oooh, Bella is soooo good!' rubbish." Okay, sub-plot it is. Why are you being yelled at by Mrs Crumplebottom? "I tried to talk to her, recruit her to the cause? Yeah, she just started lecturing me. Old bat." Why are you even downtown? "Picking up a cell phone. And looking for the High Witch of Ebilness." Right.

19. "Speaking of whom... Hi!" "Ah, a fellow evil witch. I haven't met you before, are you from Agatha's coven?" "Uh, no. I'm not a witch. I'm half-alien." "Oh. Well, do you want to be a witch?" "Hell yeah!" "Excellent. I'll be back for you sometime." "Phase one of Plan F is in motion!" Crud.

20. What is this, Phase Two? "Yep. I'm going on a holiday... to Takemizu Village." Why? "There's a man I want to meet."

21. Stella, why go for the cheap accomodation? You usually go for five-star! "Shh, I'm incognito." And that's possible with that skin how? "Well, it's not. But I'm trying."

22. "Ha-HA! Found him!" Oh crud, a teleporting antagonist. You do know that witches have spells for that sort of thing? "Yeah, but I want to be less conspicuous. The teleporting spell is too sparkly. Plus, I will have the skills of a ninja, the beauty of a college student, the brains of an alien, the magic of a witch and the weirdness of voodoo at my hands!" Lethal combination, I daresay.

23. Enjoying your stay? "Why yes. I actually want some downtime. Taking over a legacy is hard work." I'll bet.

24. Darn, no bees. "No cash either. This thing's a dud."

25. "Yes! Yes! I win! Bow down to the Queen of Mahjong, pathetic humans!" You have a serious superiority complex, Stella. "No I don't. I AM superior, so I don't have a complex." *sigh*

26. Home again. Can't you stay for another few decades? "Nope. Got to finish Phase One. Oh, and take over the Legacy." Of course, how could I have forgotten?

27. "Phase One is now complete! This tickles." You look like a green porcupine. "Yes, but a deadly evil green porcupine."

28. "Heeheheheheheheheheheeee! I have the power!" "They all go manic like this. Oh well, I'd best be off." Y'know, the outfit almost suits her.

29. See? "Now, Phase Three begins." Phase Three? "I go to the Fortress of Neverending Darkness and study the black arts. That way, I will fill my magic skills, become absolutely evil, and not lose any time at college." Knowledge Sim in you trying to be heard? "Of course."

30. Stella. You've gone green. "I was always green." I mean greener than usual. "I'll just pretend I've gotten a tan on holiday." And people will believe that? "If they don't, I'll zap them."

31. "Ha-HAAAAAAA! Absolute power is mine! Now, Operation Heirship can begin!" What happened to Plan F? "Operation Heirship is a sub-plan of Plan F." You're a loop. Really, you are. "Now, I'm a deadly loop."

32. "I'll just call up Bella, act all nicey-nice, and invite her over." And kill her? "Not just yet. I want to torment her."

33. "Stella! You're greener than usual." "Uh, yeah. I went on holiday. Got a tan." "What about the green aura?" "Um... it happens to half-aliens as they get older." Liar liar. "Hush. Time for my first spell."

34. "Argh! Bees!" "Oh, sorry Bella! There's been a nest of them around here since a bit after you left. Hee hee. She'll never suspect. " That's the best you can do?

35. "Nope. Watch this." "Hmm, I'm hungry. Got anything around here to eat?" "Yeah. Just, uh head inside and grab something out fo the fridge."

36. "Muahahahahahahaha! Spectral servant, do my bidding! Rough up the little brunette over there!" "As my master wishes." Bella, run!

37. "Ahhh! What hit me? I'm stuck in the door!" "Master, I have done thy bidding. Release me." "All right, begone. Heh heh. Bella, are you okay?" "Ugh, yes. I don't know what hit me!" "You tripped, silly." "Uh... did I?" "Yes. Maybe you should go lie down." "No, I think I'll head home."

38. Oh, Susan. I'm so sorry. This snuck up on me. "What did?" Susan Alice Chandler, age 83? "Oh."

39. It is your time, Susan Alice Chandler. Your mother is waiting. "Mum's been waiting?" Yes. She is quite proud of you. Complimentary cocktail?

40. "Well, it DOES look rather tempting..." Goodbye Susan. First born heir in the Legacy, carrier of the evil genius gene. We'll miss you. Musical tribute time, I think.

41. Daylight See the dew on the sunflower And a rose that is fading Roses wither away Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn I am waiting for the day

42. Midnight Not a sound from the pavement Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone In the lamplight The withered leaves collect at my feet And the wind begins to moan

43. Memory All alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days I was beautiful then I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again

44. Every streetlamp Seems to beat a fatalistic warning Someone mutters And the streetlamp gutters And soon it will be morning

45. Daylight I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life And I musn't give in When the dawn comes Tonight will be a memory too And a new day will begin

46. Burnt out ends of smoky days The stale cold smell of morning The streetlamp dies, another night is over Another day is dawning

47. Touch me It's so easy to leave me All alone with the memory Of my days in the sun If you touch me You'll understand what happiness is Look A new day has begun Cats - Memory

48. Susan Alice Chandler Age: 83 Children: Rebakah Holly and Daniel Pao Grandchildren: Bella Danielle, Zoey Elizabeth, Stella Belinda and Sean Blazej LTW: Max 7 Skills (achieved) Goodbye, Susan.

49. "Mum!" "Grandmama!" Oh dear. I do hate Legacy deaths, they're so sad.

50. "Aww, Ry sent me a condolence card. He's such a sweetie." Speaking of Ryker, you two had better get cracking on Generation Five. "Can it wait until I find a job?" I'll give you a week. I'm not waiting for three weeks like I had to with your mother.

51. Beka? What's the matter? "It's my birthday, Fire." Yikes, things really have been sneaking up on me, what with Stella being evil, and Bella not getting a job... "What did you say?" Bella hasn't got a job? "No, before that." Um. Nothing. Get crustified.

52. "Ouch, my back!" Argh, it really annoys me how witches always grow up into their generic costumes. "At least it isn't hideous." True.

53. "Ahh, that's better. I feel... wise." First time for everything. "Not funny."

54. One very quick makeover later, Beka is at her elderly best. "Yikes, being referred to as 'elderly' is, um, terrifying." At least you crustified well!

55. "Hey, Fire!" ...What? "Guess who just got a job?" The social bunny? "Ha ha. No. I finally got in!" Great. Now you have a job, go get started on the next generation!

56. Pfft! "Don't laugh." I'm not laughing. "Yes you are. I'm inviting Ry over tonight." Oh good. *snickers* "Stop laughing! The uniform isn't that bad!" Uh, yes it is. Hee hee.

57. "Let's get physical!" That's it for chapter 4.3. Join us next time to find out if there is a lullaby, if Stella manages to complete Plan F and if Bella gets that nice shiny perma-plat!