Dr. Anna Michelle discusses Obsession in this riveting interview.

1. DR. ANNA MICHELLE & SHERRY GABA
[Music]
Dr. Anna Michelle: Welcome everyone. This is Dr. Anna Michelle and you are listening to The
Break Up Solution Summit, where are all gathered here together to heal your heart and free your
soul. I want to thank each and every one of you for being here, because you are worth this
information and investment of time in yourself. Relationship breakups can be devastating. What
do you do when someone you love makes a conscious decision to leave you? And what if you are
still in love with someone and you don’t know how to move on? It can be deeply painful. I know
how you feel because I’ve been there. When my almost 8-year relationship suddenly ended, I felt
abandoned, with no one to turn to. I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I had
failed my relationship. And as much as I relied on family and friends, I really needed specific
support. I needed people in my life that could understand the grief, the guilt and the pain I was
going through. This is why I created The Break Up Solution Summit, a safe and caring
community that you can come to again and again to feel better and ease your grief, but also to
really understand why these breakups happen and where do we go from here?
Getting over a breakup is not easy and I want to acknowledge just how brave you are for
showing up, because you matter and you deserve the best. I believe in you and I know you can
overcome anything. Even if you feel like the world is crumbling around you, we are all here for
you. I have 38 amazing and exceptional experts who are honored to give you practical advice
and loving support. I have aligned with the best of the best to empower you with choice and
awareness, because I want you to come out on the other side of this experience with the power to
change your life. Before we begin with tonight’s extraordinary speaker, I am committed that you
find the answers and solutions you seek. So, if you haven’t already submitted a question please
go ahead and ask your questions right now, or as they come up for you on this website page,
breakupsolutionsummit.com/event. And, you can ask your question inside the webcast question
and answer box. You can include your name, city, state, country. Or, if you want to remain
unanimous you have that option, as well. And, I will definitely ask your questions a little later in
the seminar.
So, tonight’s extraordinary speaker is Celebrity Life Coach and Psychotherapist, Sherry Gaba.
Sherry specializes in individual, couples, family and group psychotherapy and maintains a
private practice in California. Sherry has over 15 years of experience as a clinician and she is a
graduate of USC, specializing in addiction, eating disorders, parenting, single parenting, divorce
and life coaching. And, she is currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad
spectrum of clients. And in addition, she is a consultant for several high profile Melbourne
Rehab Centers and has worked with numerous celebrities in her career. Sherry appeared on
Celebrity Rehab 3, 4 and 5. And she also facilitated life coaching on their subsequent spin off
Sober House and Celebrity Rehab’s Sex Addiction. Sherry is a practical, interactive, solution

2. focused therapist. Her treatment approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help
clients resolve current problems and long standing patterns.
In tonight’s transformative interview with Sherry, she is going to teach you what exactly is
recovery from obsessive love, so that you can understand how to heal obsessive love, develop
self-confidence, experience true intimacy, create boundaries and free yourself so that you can
find real love. Sherry’s breakthrough approach combines the power of positive thinking with real
action steps. And through her method, anyone struggling with obsessive love can transform their
life by shifting the focus from obsessing to aligning with more authentic love. So tonight, Sherry
will teach you how to let go of hurtful and destructive relationships, people who cannot or will
not love you in return, so that you can free yourself once and for all from unhealthy relationships
and align with relationships that support the authentic you. Welcome, Sherry to the call.
Sherry Gaba: Oh, thank you Anna. I am so thrilled to be here and so, I am in such gratitude that
you came up with such a wonderful gift, because I know that when a new year starts although we
are all very excited of the new year, and we have New Year’s resolutions. How wonderful that
you’re mindful enough to know that there are some people that are grieving, that are, you know,
truly in pain over a break up or a break up that may be happened last year, and what a gift to
have that support. I’m just so happy that you put this out there for people to understand and to be
able to work through, sometimes a very difficult time in people’s lives.
Dr. Anna: Thank you. I really appreciate that. There are some listeners that aren’t familiar with
your work. Can you tell us more about your break up journey and how that led to the work you
do today?
Sherry: What a great question! Yes, I became a single mom very young. I was a single mom of a
1-year old, and that was probably one of my biggest break ups. And I journeyed into different
relationships, another marriage and now I am presently married. I realized, you know, whether
you are a single mom or not a single mom, you know, there are things that happen to us in these
break ups that if we don’t learn from them and we don’t realize why we are picking who we are
picking we will repeat those patterns. And so, it is my experience that until we do that work, until
we realize that, are we picking people because of this chronic, sort of empty whole and it’s not
really because it’s the person, but it’s more away to fill something up. That just became really
huge. You know, some of my work is with helping people get over negative habits in their lives
but actually, sometimes picking the wrong relationship can be a negative habit and I do feel that I
was one of those people. I am absolutely somebody that used love to fill a very empty face. I
think a lot of people use different things to fill empty faces. You know, whether it’s drugs or
alcohol or gambling or shopping or plastic surgery or eating, or you know, whatever it is but I do
think that love can be an obsession and I think until that whole is filled up in some way, people
are going to keep repeating those patterns. And, I think it’s just important for people to know
that, because I think people think it’s all about the other person and you know, it’s all about

3. blame and shame and this sort of thing and I think it’s important that we look at ourselves, and
what is it about us that keep attracting the same people?
Dr. Anna: So, what is obsessive love? You could tell us more about, what are the signs and
symptoms of it?
Sherry: It’s sort of a longing, it’s a desperation. It doesn’t feel whole. It doesn’t feel nurturing. It
doesn’t feel safe. You know, often people get into these - you know, there’s really the universal
laws of love and so obsessing – you know a love addiction you can’t really get into a healthy
relationship until you understand these universal laws of love. So, for example, when
relationship ends if you don’t grief, excuse me that obsessive love, you know you are kind of
putting out to the universe a very depressing frequency. And so, it’s really important that you
grief before you move on. So, you have to purge all the thoughts and behaviors and all the dark
resonance related to that negative relationship, so that you don’t keep attracting back. I am sure
that many listeners will be able to relate to the fact that they keep attracting the same type. And
so, why is that? It’s probably because they might not have grieved. You have to kind of get rid of
that old toxic energy in order to bring into your life positive energies that will bring, you know,
positive joy, positive relationships. And, one of the issues that sometimes you think you want
revenge but all that does again is bring more negativity out there. So instead, we need to
magnetize what it is we believe we deserve in a relationship so the universe hears us and bring
that back into our lives.
I might try and answer that question clearly, what the signs and symptoms are but let me – you
know there is so many – hold on one second. Let me just kind of clear myself on how I want to
go with it. I think I would rather start, Anna with something you lost and what it does
energetically to you. Would that be okay?
Dr. Anna: Oh, please. Yeah, go ahead.
Sherry: Before I go into all the symptoms.
Dr. Anna: That would be fine.
Sherry: Obsessing about what could have been forces you to think about lack which brings more
lack. You know, I am really a believer in the laws of attraction and what we put out in terms of
our thoughts or what we are going to get back. So, I also believe that all the grieving is
important. You have to also acknowledge what you are grateful for, right now in your life, or that
will keep you from gravitating those great things that you already have. I know that if you put a
partner on a Pedi stone, ex-partner on a pedistone and you make yourself long, again you are
going to keep attracting the same type of person as if you are wrong they are right. And so, you
are going to keep putting that person on a pedistone you are going to keep attracting that kind of
person. So, continuing to obsess keeps you, you know, energetically attached to that person. So,
by not letting go you’ve locked that resonance. By holding onto what’s negative you put out this

4. attachment emptiness and it’s a black whole that is so destructive to your resonance and
emotional being. And when you say obsessed with someone your vibration says, you are
unavailable which puts up a wall energetically preventing new love to come your way. And I do
believe, and it’s happened for me, that the universe wants us to have love. But, when you finally
let go of this obsessive love that is when I really, truly believe you create the space for positive
love to come your way. It has for me and I know it has for many of my clients, because you’re no
longer clouding your space with that crazy obsession. You know, when you hold onto someone
that is unavailable you are pouring your energy into this bliss of nothingness that just keeps you
isolated and withdrawn. So, of course if you are isolated and withdrawn how are you going to
bring in that new person? So, learning to be alone really does, and it’s so painful to hear this but,
because we all want to be loved and we all want to be in relationships, that learning to be alone
renews your energy of old attachment, and it makes room for the universe to bring you
something really new and fabulous. So, again, it goes back to what we are most conscious of
this, what is found. And when you are consistently conscious of your life, you only expand your
experience of lack, loss and just to keep attracting more of that loss.
I do want to get to your question about what the signs and symptoms are, so just give me a little
second here. I have a wonderful little outline. Okay. So, some of the signs and symptoms are
these:
Over-adapting to what others want. You sort of become a very core dependent individual. It’s all
about people pleasing and doing anything and everything, you’re almost giving up your values
for that person. You have no boundaries. You have a fear of letting go. You have a fear of the
unknown. You constantly are trying to fix and change and manipulate others. And these also are
signs of an unhealthy relationship, obviously because an obsessive relationship is an unhealthy
relationship. If they mattered meeting others to feel whole or looking for others for affirmation
and remorse during abandonment, saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’, even being abused
physically or emotionally and having really intense withdrawal symptoms of saying withdrawal
symptoms that a person on heroin would have. You’ll do anything for that fix. And you start
doing really unhealthy behaviors for that fix. You do drive-bys, you know where you drive by
their house or you call and you hang up. These are some of the things that are really hallmarks of
what obsessive love is. And let’s, you know, go through some of the steps that I am going to talk
about. Those things linger on and they just linger negativity. And so, there is very little space to
bring someone really fabulous into your life if you are still living in those fears.
Dr. Anna: What does childhood trauma have to do with obsessive love?
Sherry: Childhood trauma is about often the fact that people were neglected or abandoned, who
had parents that were abusive and they weren’t conscious, they weren’t present and so, it created
an empty whole inside of you. And so, what happens is, and the same with other sorts of habits,
is you want to feel that hole up. And so, what obsessive love is they weigh to fill that hole up,
something that you didn’t get when you were young. You know, someone did not give you what

5. you needed. You know, without love as a child, human beings become incomplete. They can’t
really develop self-esteem, love for others or love for life. They are deprived of that really core
bonding and nurturing and when it comes from just not being enough, not having enough. So,
really obsessive love is an unconscious attempt to satisfy that deep longing, that developmental
hunger, sort of that hungry ghost for something to belong. We are looking outside ourselves to
fix an inside job, our fear, our pain and our discomfort. We even allow others to abuse us and
when they threaten to leave us we act out, you know, we act out.
When a child has to take care of a parent, for instance sets up this role reverse that later translates
into this really unhealthy reunified relationship sort of a dependent love relationship. And so,
there is a real confusion for this child like, what is real love and what is real intimacy? So, if they
get any inkling of being rejected. When the partner leaves or rejects us you go into this panic,
your nervous system goes on overdrive. It does not want to feel that pain at any cost and so it is
going to search out something else to replace that pain, and especially if it was young and
rejected. So, it’s sort of clinging at all costs to make yourself feel whole to get what it is that you
probably didn't get. And so, the important thing is to know that you can get that emptiness filled
up, it just doesn't have to be filled up with unhealthy behaviors or unhealthy obsessive
relationships.
Dr. Anna: So, what does healthy love look like?
Sherry: It's nurturing, it's caring, its honesty, it's mutual respect, it's knowing that you can count
on a person, it's appreciation, it's caring affection, it's sharing values and trust and acceptance. I
keep saying trust because it is just such an important part of a healthy relationship. It's giving, it's
joy, vulnerability, it's mystery, it's sacredness, it's gratitude, compassion. There is a great quote
that I love to quote about the subject and it’s, “We don't find love by chasing after it; we simply
open our hearts and find it within us.” So, it's sort of like - unhealthy love is that wanting and
that pushing and it's sort of that fish going upstream metaphor, you are just, want it so badly.
Healthy love is sort of called to you. It's almost like a calling, comes to you. It's longer-lasting,
and it's calmer, we feel secure and safe and we even develop these bonding chemicals which are
called Oxytosins. It's sort of like even sometimes women will experience with other women and
I don't mean this necessarily in a sexual way although it could be, but when you get people
together in a community and there is this connection going on, this intimate connection, you
produce these really great chemicals.
So, healthy love says I love because I am loved, immature love says I love you because I need
you. And really that is the hallmark is that when you are in an unhealthy situation you are
needing something and you would do anything at all costs for that something even when it hurts
you and it has grave consequences. Love, real love is safe and you can express thoughts without
fearing being ridiculed. You can admit when you are wrong, acceptance can be yourself without
fear of being rejected. There is a lot of respect. You are allowed to have separate opinions and
ideas. You don't become insecure because someone doesn't agree with you. You feel - this is

6. really important, you feel energized and alive with your partner’s presence. When that energy
and that aliveness is gone and probably that spontaneity is gone, there's probably some issues at
hand and it could be that you are in an obsessive love relationship.
I hope that answers your question. I have just so many things to say about healthy love too and
that's a big part of it.
Dr. Anna: That was wonderful; I really appreciate that in exactly the way that you said it. So,
what are four steps that one could take right now to ask the universe what they desire in a
partner?
Sherry: Well, if you are a believer that’s what you put out and what you say and that your
consciousness expands, you know, the more that you put out that positive energy or that positive
vibration, if you truly believe that, these four steps are immediately what a person can do. They
can ask the universe for exactly what they want, they can write it down they can send it out, they
can actually visualize, you know, what does that person look like? How does that person feel?
The way they'd feel in their arms, sharing a meal together, that person’s essence, what are their
values? How do you picture yourself with them? There is so much power in affirming and
declaring or acknowledging to the universe what it is that you want. So, that would be the first
step.
The second, and again these are just four things that I want your listeners to walk away with. Is
to believe in your inner most being that this person is on their way, there is no question they are
on their way. Not to get attached to a day or a time, just know that that person here she is on their
way and that the universe has heard your request. Putting yourself in situations, I mean this goes
into step four, but I just we all know about the movie The Secret and what the secret meant was
the action steps. So, before I even continue, I want your listeners to know it's just not about
visualizing it and snapping your finger and it's going to appear, it's also about where are you
going to put yourself. What decisions are you going to put yourself in your world that will bring
love to your life? And having this gratitude, this appreciation for the person as if it has already
arrived, as if it's - and what else in your life is a blessing? What else is, I know that a lot of single
moms, I did this when I went through a divorce. It took me a while to figure out well, what was
its purpose?
I always knew it was because I had my daughter and if there was a purpose, every relationship
I’ve ever been with had a purpose. One person, he was a psychologist. If it wasn't for him I
probably wouldn't have realized I too could go back to school and be a therapist and help others.
And it was probably the worst relationship of all my relationships but there was a purpose for
that person. So, have gratitude for the reason these people have been in your life even if they
didn’t work out and have gratitude for what you have right now. And when you embody gratitude
your dreams are most likely going to occur a lot sooner.

7. And then fourth, and again I just touched on it is taking that action. If you want to have a full
relationship once you get over the obsessive love. You don't of course want to now start going in
places that are just going to cause you more pain. You don't want to be with married people, for
instance. You don't want to come up with defense mechanisms that, oh well you know, this is just
temporary and this is just kind of fill my time and it's okay because if you are an obsessive
person and you enter into another relationship where that person is emotionally unavailable, just
like probably the first person was that got you into that obsessive relationship in the first place,
you are going to go through all of the relapse. You are going to go through all of the pain all over.
So, if you find yourself attracting what you always have attracted, that emotionally unavailable
person, stay clear away. So, anyway, the fourth one is take action. This doesn't mean you start
obsessing for the person to appear, it just means live your life as if they are already there,
spending time doing things you want to do and that is why I brought up a married person,
because that isn’t going to bring you what you want. Doing things you want to do with a partner,
be with the person, your soul mate. What would that person want to do? What are their hobbies?
What are their interests? That's how it's going to show up.
Put pictures up of loving couples or buy greeting cards that are from someone that loves you,
send yourself flowers, make a bed for two with lots of pillows, set a table for two. Tell the
universe I’m here, I’m ready. Maybe picture yourself as a magnet imbued with magnetic energy
that is going to bring you exactly what you want. It just depends on what kind of learner or what
kind of person that you are. Are you a visual person? Are you an auditory person? Maybe you
want to listen into meditations that put you into this space, maybe you want to use breathing
techniques, visualizing these things, maybe you just want to draw a picture of it, maybe you want
to use words, journal, whatever it is that works for you. When you take any action, and it’s really
important, any action you are sending out a powerful vibration to the universe that you are ready.
And when you live as if you wish, it has been manifested already it radiates a feeling of having it
now and the universe is going to feel that. You know, otherwise you create a separation between
your desire and you which makes it really hard for the universe to access that fantasy person.
And I really do have to tell your listeners that I believe this because it happens for time and not
just this area of my life but all areas of my life. I was on Celebrity Rehab that's been on
television, I wrote a book last year called The Law of Sobriety and all of this was because I put
out into the universe all of the things that I wanted and visualized, and took action and was very
persistent and passionate and purposeful around it.
So, if it's love that you want you want to be purposeful, passionate and you want to persevere
towards that goal, whatever that goal is. I wanted to be on Celebrity Rehab 2 after seeing
Celebrity Rehab 1, and I put it out there I found a way to - and I know this is off topic but I want
to bring this out because it works, it really works. Everything works if you work it, right? That's
a very famous saying in certain communities and it really is true.

8. Dr. Anna: Thank you for that. So, speaking of spirituality, how can people use like a spiritual by-
pass to avoid dealing with obsessive love?
Sherry: Well actually, what spiritual by-pass is, is when you are using spirituality to actually fill
that void. In other words, there are people that are actually obsessed with spirituality. They will
sign up for anything and do things. I want people when they are in a vulnerable state to be really
clear and come from a groundedness so that when they do enter into that spiritual world that they
are - whether it is, Buddhism or Judaism or Christianity or they believe in Allah or they believe
in a higher power or they believe in a higher self or a higher good or the science of mind or
whatever it is, come from a grounded space, ground yourself first, otherwise you can get into
what I call a spiritual by-pass. Using spirituality as a form of escape and using something or
someone to meet your spiritual needs.
A person cannot meet, you can have a beautifully spiritual relationship but they can't fill that
empty hole. That has to be filled up with something either outside of you, some sort of higher
power or some sort of higher self within you. True spirituality does not come from another
person, it is something that transports us to – really spirituality is something that transports us to
a higher purpose for living. You can experience bliss and compassion and gratitude and joy,
mystical visions and again I go back to that word, aliveness, peace experiences but you can't get
that from the outside, it has to come from within or it has to come from something greater than
yourself. And so, to avoid using spirituality to fill that emptiness is what I talk about.
And if they are seeking their spirituality to come from a very grounded space, and if anything is
once you get into that grounded space and you feel that emptiness, walah! Something great
unfolds and that perfect person appears every time, absolutely every time because you are ready
for it, because you have done the work. Because you’ve been able to be within yourself, know
yourself, learn who your authentic self is so that you attract what you are and what you’ve
become, not what you were.
Dr. Anna: Thank you that was beautifully said.
Sherry: You are welcome.
Dr. Anna: I've heard of something called the no contact rule. Can you tell us more about that?
Also how can two people avoid contact when they have to be in contact? Maybe they share
children together or they have to work together.
Sherry: Yeah, that is a great question and I’m actually glad you threw that in there because I
didn't really think of that as when I was going to talk about that tonight but, no contact if it does
have to do with single parenting is really about emailing. Now, the courts have systems where
there is computer programs that can allow you to talk to that person and everything is recorded
on this program so that no one can be abusive and it is all about business and the business of
your children. I think most people that make contact in a negative way that are going through a

9. divorce or separation they are making that contact in a negative way because they want that
connection.
They want that - oh my dog is making noises here. What Max? What? My dog got excited over
this topic. Oh, come here, come here, hold on, hold on. He's having a little asthma attack. Sorry
about that. Okay, alright. He's good. Anyway, the bottom-line is I think people make connections
like that because they want to connect. They make up all of these excuses; oh I’ll call him
because I left something there. I'll call him because we really do have to maybe make this
arrangement, although the arrangement's already in the custody order but it is because they want
to connect. They want to connect at all cost. And so, I think avoiding connection altogether if
you can by, a) using email, texting. And of course, if it is abusive emailing and texting going
though that system through the courts because you can't get away with that with the courts. You
can’t say things or do things that are inappropriate. And if you have to, meet the purpose in a
public place. Sometimes you have to just pick the children up at a public place because it is that
painful. Because if you keep seeing that person in an intimate way, in other words they come to
the door, you left them in house. That can be, that is having contact that is really sort of a
slippery slope. In my mind that is almost like a trigger.
In order to avoid - I hope that answered the question about parenting because that is a great
question. I've seen families that act like families when they are not families and I’m not trying to
judge that, but if you are in a lot of pain and you are trying to pretend like you are a family and
you are having contact with this ex, the child will pick it up and it won’t be a good energy
because it is not real. So, if you are really good friends with your ex and there is no more pain,
sure by all means do stuff together but if you are still obsessing and you are still angry and you
still have – you feel like a victim and you are still blaming and you're in just that sort of negative
space, stay away.
And it's really all that initiating no contact rule because when you are detoxing from a
relationship you just have this powerful urge to make contact no matter what with that ex-partner
and why is that? It is a lot about what I talked about earlier. It is wanting to fill that empty void,
to relieve those intense withdrawal symptoms of pain and loss. Everybody can relate to someone
jouncing from wanting a heroin fix, they will do anything. They will beg, borrow, borrow and
steal to get their fix. And you know what, the same can be true with love obsession; you'll do
anything to hear that voice. I talked about earlier driving by their self.
Oh, and then there is the social media today, Facebook and Twittering. When you act out on
these behaviors you will have to start the process all over again. So whatever benefits or
whatever growth that you had when you were apart, as soon as you make that contact again, it's
almost like having that first drink, you will suffer the consequences all over again. It is almost
like you avoid your ex- it's almost like you are looking for the ex to just throw, actually the ex
may throw a crumb at you and you'll take that like that means, oh my God they want to be with
me. You will take – I mean, have you ever done that Anna where it's like …

10. Dr. Anna: Oh ye, many, many times.
Sherry: And you analyze that email and you analyze that text. I'm guilty of that, I’ve done that
and it' just really unhealthy. It's really just taking a back seat, taking a pause, listening to what's
happening to your body and moving away from that energy, because if it's really meant to be and
I hate to sound so corny but if it's meant to be they are going to call you, it's going to be healthy
and it's going to be loving and it's going to be all of those healthy traits that I mentioned early.
When it doesn't have that it's probably not healthy and you probably want to stay away.
So, no contact means no texting, emailing, calling, twittering, faxing. It means no contact. It
means getting out of denial that it's okay to see that person just one more time. Just one more
time won't hurt. I'll have girlfriends call me and they will say, you know, I just want to see him,
whatever; we are just going to get some coffee. I call them on it and I’m like, this is not about
getting coffee, this is about you want to make a connection man, you want to see this person. So,
staying away from your ex will be the most difficult challenge and surviving that withdrawal and
it is. It's like the withdrawal of any other substance.
Dr. Anna: Like a sugar high
Sherry: Exactly, exactly, sugar, gambling, shopping. Don't go to the mall if you are in credit card
debt, okay. Don't see the ex if you are struggling with a love obsession. Don't go to Vegas if you
are a gambler. And what's really important is when you buy into this fantasy that they are the
answer to your happiness you will have such a difficult time moving forward on a healthy pack.
You will be taking two steps forward and going three steps back. But, I don't say this to make
anybody feel bad, because we are human and we are all going to want to do these things and it's
okay. And so, when you want to make this contact, notice it. Be this curious witness and go, here
I go again I want to make that face; I want to send that email. There I go again, I want to pretend
that we are just going to get together to have a cup of coffee but I know what is really going on
here, I want to make that connection.
Be honest. I think getting over a love obsession has to be in honesty, an honest program, an
honest recovery and to stop fooling yourself because love obsession is always based in denial in
the first place, or you wouldn’t have stayed with a relationship that was so unhealthy and we are
all guilty of it. We want it to work so badly because we feel so empty we will do anything and
we will believe whatever we want and we'll continue thinking it's going to get better and better
and it never does, and I’ve done this countless times in my own life. I've broken up engagements
and still married the person. I was a serial love obsessor. I'm just clear out with one of them and I
will always probably be one until I have to always be mindful of that and always look for all the
healthy signs in the relationship and if I see any red flag that it is unhealthy I have to go the other
way.
And this has to do with all my relationships. This has to do even with relationships with people
that I work with, friendships, people that I do business with. If I know and I have an instinct that

11. this is just not okay, and I know it in my inner gut then I have to walk away or I will become
obsessed. And it's kind of shameful to put that out there in the universe but I think if we don’t put
it out there, it just affects us inside of us and it becomes bigger and bigger and we start acting out
on really, really bad behavior. I think we've all done it; we'll enter and act out in ways because
we are not dealing with the truth. So, that’s really important.
Some of the ways to avoid contact would be to have a really great support system. You could
even consider going to these, there is meetings out there called love and sex anonymous
meetings. Have good friends, family, pamper yourself, do all those great girly things or if you are
a guy, go get that manicure, massage, facial. Clear the affirmation that eliminates that negative
self talk. Remind yourself wanting to see that person doesn't mean it's love because again,
obsession, they are built in denial systems. It is the only thing; obsession is the only thing that
tells you there isn't really a problem here. You've got to really get into that denial system and say,
this does not mean it's love because I’m thinking of this person or he called me. Who cares? He
wasn’t good when I was with him. Just because he's calling doesn't mean anything.
And remind yourself that you are not crazy; you are just going through withdrawal. And
remember, buying into the fantasy is just believing this person is someone that they are not, you
know. And then, f course all of the traditional things that we all know are good for us and that is
why I get back, Anna into that word, action. Meditate, breathe, journal. Nurture that inner child
with self love. Make a commitment not to jump into another relationship. I think that is the
hardest one. I think that one just, I think people …
Dr. Anna: A rebound relationship?
Sherry: Pardon me?
Dr. Anna: A rebound relationship?
Sherry: Yes. A rebound relationship more so, it's really just, it's inability to be with oneself
alone. And you can be sure and everyone knows this if they have done it. It's much more lonely
or you will feel much more alone and lonely with the wrong person. So, you may as well just do
it alone and to know that you are not alone, that there are people out there that love you and love
comes in so many different ways. It can be your dog, it can be nature, it can be, I mean, I don't
want to bring up all these silly things that we already know are out there, but we have to really
get it because that other person will not be the answer. You will just go backwards. You will end
up in the same spot and you will find yourself older and older making the same mistakes.
You know that old saying, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.” You have to change your ways. You don't want to cross addict. Often people
will start obsessing on other things like they have to have that outfit, and they have to have that
car and they have to have that house, and they have to have that job and they've got to go, I don't
know, wherever it is. You got to be careful; don't get into drugs and alcohol because you are so

12. lonely. Find healthier outlets. Take an acting class, take a speaking class. Go to the gym, take
yoga. Buy a meditation tape; be really careful if you are cross obsessing because often that is
what people will do. They will look for something else to fill that void.
Do not become promiscuous. You may, and we've all done it and I’m just as guilty as the next
person. I'll say well, you know, I’m lonely and it's normal and it's healthy. Sure, if you want to
enter into sexual relationships and you feel okay and you know you, you will feel okay,
afterwards fuck by all means but I think for most people in a really vulnerable state when they
are getting over an obsessive love I think entering into a sexual relationship will only cause more
pain. I'm thoroughly convinced of that.
Don't isolate. Make a really conscious effort to change your thoughts when you begin to obsess.
Just make that list of healthy options or actions and again, actions to replace your negative
behavior when you are feeling vulnerable or powerless. You know self nurturing, enriching,
supportive and creative endeavors. We are all resourceful, creative whole beings. We have so
much to offer and so much to give. I mean, I can be in just a really bad space but as soon as I’m
doing something I love, if I’m involved in a great conversation or I’m doing like this teleseminar,
you would never know whatever mood I was in before, because right now I am so present and
conscious with you and the listeners and I’m in such joy. Finding your joy can bring you
something much greater than being in relationship that is unhealthy and hurtful and maybe even
abusive.
Dr. Anna: Well, can you give us some examples of affirmations?
Sherry: Oh sure, absolutely. First of all, affirmations that if people don't know and I know you
have very well astute spiritually minded individuals listening, but I just will again say that
affirmations are phrases that you repeat to yourself which help change the way you communicate
with yourself. You know, kind of rewires your brain. I didn't get into it earlier but love obsession
is actually a change in your brain chemistry. There are things going in your brain that are
misfiring. It is a real chemical withdrawal when you are going through something like that. So,
by doing affirmations, you are actually instead of taking medication, and again by all means if
you are depressed, truly depressed see a therapist, see a doctor. If you need to be on medication
that is completely up to you but there are holistic ways such as rewiring your brain, writing or
repeating affirmations when you start to obsess or experience that negative self talk. That chronic
or that chronic emptiness or that place, for me when I feel very empty it's in my chest.
So, you all know what it feels like in your body. So, as soon as that comes up, let’s not get into a
negative spin. Let's read and write things that are really positive and I’m going to sound like a
Saturday night live guest but you know what? It really works. If you do these affirmations, if you
write them, if you journal them, if you put them on post sticks. I'm a lovable and valuable
person, I’m deserving of a healthy partner who is capable of loving and respecting and honoring
me. This withdrawal, this excruciating pain will not last forever and my needs and wants do

13. matter. I will not enter into another emotionally unavailable relationship. I think often the person
that becomes the love obsessor has fallen for the love avoidance. I think often the one who was
obsessing was attracted to someone that wasn't available, very similar to their childhood trauma,
and so, making that commitment that you are not going to run after a married person or some
other person that is emotionally unavailable, can't communicate because you are just going to
cause yourself pain. And you know you may relapse and you may do that, just catch yourself and
start all over again.
We are getting back to affirmations. My needs and wants are important, all my experiences
contribute to my growth, I’m learning to let go of dependencies on others and relying on myself
for happiness. I've got to tell you Anna, when that happened for me it was just so powerful I was
like, oh my God! And then you hear all you life, oh you have to love yourself before you can
love somebody else. That's a common phrase but when you stand in your authentic self, when
you stand in your own happiness and know that you have the power to give yourself all that love
that you thought you could only find outside, there is nothing more powerful than that.
So, I love that one. I’m learning to let go of dependency on others and relying on myself for
happiness. I walk away from toxic people; I create my own truth and love. I let go of obsessive
behaviors, thoughts, feelings, belief systems and I will not say yes when I mean no. So, those are
some affirmations that can be powerful and again, write them, journal them, say them, record
them, put them on post tips, Maybe even do a grounding technique where you sit on a chair and
you ground your feet to the ground and you feel rooted in the chair and you orient yourself and
you look in the room and you look at everything around you and you go, I’m okay right now in
this moment. This moment is perfect; there is nothing wrong in this very moment. Because you
know, obsessing is where you are reaching, again like I talked about earlier, that you are like fish
going upstream. You are pushing and you’re wanting something so badly and you are just crying
out for it, so take a pause and just be still.
Notice if you have that empty pang in your chest. Notice it, be curious about it. Let it be there,
think into it, lean into it, make friends with it. You won't die. Because that is really what the
existential fear is, that you are going to die. The pain is so unbearable that you are going to die.
And so, that is why I think getting in touch with yourself, your body, affirmations, some of the
tools that I’ve mentioned. They all tell the universe that, hey I am ready and I’m going to do
things different this time. I am not going to keep attracting the same sort of person because I am
deserving of something really great and I will wait until something great comes along. I will not
settle for something that does not serve my highest good.
Dr. Anna: I think it's really powerful to do affirmations in the mirror, standing in the mirror.
Sherry: Oh, in the mirror, yeah.
Dr. Anna: And it is easy to put the, I actually do this myself. It’s easy to put the post tips on the
mirror

14. Sherry: Oh great idea or the refrigerator
Dr. Anna: Right
Sherry: And again, I want the listeners to know. I mean, this is a love obsession sort of call that
all of these tools work for any kind of habit that you are trying to rid yourself of. It really works.
Dr. Anna: Sherry, can you give us a little more time to answer some live questions from our
listeners?
Sherry: Absolutely.
Dr. Anna: Great. Alright, well before we enter questions, Sherry has a special offer just for the
Break Up Solution Summit. And if you click on the special offer button below Sherry's beautiful
picture, you will be taken to her special offer page. And Sherry, can you tell us some more about
this special offer, The Purposeful and Authentic Life Package? And how can it help someone
trying to get over a breakup?
Sherry: Well, yeah I'm actually - I almost want you to read it because I didn't put it up on my
screen, I can try. I'm really guilty, I have to be honest.
Dr. Anna: There's so much that you are offering here I can just walk you through
Sherry: Yeah, walk them through. And next what I’d like to, I mean, I want them all to know
that there is these bonus gifts. That even if they don't decide to go with the seven steps and the
meditations and all that there are bonus gifts and I think they already know that, right Ann?
Dr. Anna: Sure, and if you want to talk about those first
Sherry: Well, one of them is how to eliminate negative belief systems and everybody can use
that. It's an e-book and it's got some meditations. It's like a workbook format and it's just sort of a
quick start on how to start changing those messages, those stories and turning them into stories
that work for you. The second one is from my co-host on my CBS radio show. I'm on a show
every Tuesday at 3:00 PM, Pacific, 6:00 o’clock, Eastern. It's called a Moment of Change. And if
anybody is interested it's a Moment of Change on CBS Radio on. And she has offered an e-book
herself. And I'm not exactly sure what she calls it but I wanted to actually read a quote from it,
it's just, I love it. Let's see, let me find the quote, I just, this quote just hit me tonight and I just
had to read it. Here it is and this is part of her e-book that she is giving away.
She says, “And finally remember you are lovable, you are deserving of all good. You are capable
of sharing your life and your heart with another. You are an unrepeatable life in the world, find
that again. Step out from the shadows of rejection and loss and back into the light of who you
truly are and realize that the promise of love shared remains. So, know in your heart that no
matter what love endures and still awaits”. So, she is offering an e-book as well and we talked
about it because it is so appropriate to this teleseminar and I just was really honored that she was

15. willing to do that. So, those are the bonus gifts and then, go ahead and read the offers and then if
you want I can sort of embellish and talk a little bit about them …
Dr. Anna: Sure. Well, so item one here, if this is the purposeful and authentic life package. Item
one includes your seven lesson audio course for How to Attract Positive Energy.
Sherry: Right. You want me to talk about it?
Dr. Anna: Well, I can just quickly go through it. So, item two is your Love Sobriety e-book. Item
three is the Laws of Sobriety and Meditation. Item four is the Law of Sobriety Life Coaching
Workshop.
Sherry: And even before you go on, I’m going to let everyone know the sobriety word just take
it out of the vocabulary because even though it's the word sobriety, for me, sobriety is of all
obsessions. So, I want people to know that this is not about alcohol and drugs, it is for all
obsessions. In these products, there will be mention of drugs and alcohol. There will be mention
of love addiction, there will be mention of co-dependency, there will be mention of other of other
sorts of habits but it is not strictly about sobriety, because people today when they hear that word
today they think it's just about drugs and alcohol. Yes, there is a component to that and these are
products but these products can be used for any habit you are struggling with.
In fact, I was going to do actually a meditation just to show that. This meditation comes from this
book and comes and is also – well no, I don't think it's in the meditations; it's a different
meditation in the ones they will get. But it just goes to show that it can be used for any sort of
obsession, whatever it is. Anyway, sorry to interrupt.
Dr. Anna: That's okay. For the last item, item five is avoiding relapse and it's a pdf.
Sherry: And that was sort of like that no contact rule. Finding the triggers that are going to keep
you, don't buy into those triggers, stay away from those triggers that are going to allow you to,
you know, don't meet that person for coffee if you know it is going to make you want to be with
that person again. That is what that's one about, that's what that's about. And then I think there is
two meditations. One is on finding your purpose. I do believe that when you find your purpose,
and calling and passion. I think a lot of these things don't weigh too heavy on your heart because
you have other things in your life that bring you joy. The other meditation is on living an
authentic life. Again, I believe until you figure out who the core of you is, you won't find the
same mutual partner. You will keep attracting whatever it is that you are. And until you find the
authenticity and you rip away that false self and find your true self that is when you will find a
true partner. So, that’s the second meditation.
And then I think there might be a relapse prevention e-book. Oh, and then a group coaching,
right? So, they would get some information from you I suppose about or they would email me,
how does that work?

16. Dr. Anna: Well, it's on your live coaching workshop?
Sherry: Yeah, so if they get, if they do the package, what they'll do is they'll hear from me. I will
email them and we'll set up a time. I don't have it yet, but we'll put a time together and we'll do a
group coaching call. I mean that alone for a group coaching is usually around $50. Anna, you
have the prices there, I just know I added a lot of things because it is the way the world is today. I
want people to get more for their money.
Dr. Anna: I mean, yeah, you have an incredible package here with all kind of healing tools …
[Crosstalk]
Sherry: And I think they get a pdf of my book too?
Dr. Anna: Exactly and it's only. There is a payment option but the price for everything is only
$87
Sherry: Oh and also, a lot of it can be downloaded but they can also get a CD which is great.
Dr. Anna: Okay.
Sherry: I'm really excited that I can offer that at this time. This will be the second time I’ve been
able to do that where people can actually get a CD rather than just the download because some
people like to listen to things in their car.
Dr. Anna: And I just want to say that I really have learned in the course of the Break Up Solution
Summit. We've talked a lot about how important it is to eliminate limiting beliefs and these
destructive patterns in your life and what Sherry is offering here is a way to do just that, a way to
embrace the power of being in this breakup recovery journey and the opportunity to see the
opportunities that it's providing you to define a new vision for your life.
Sherry: Well, yeah.
Dr. Anna: I mean you have specific action steps …
Sherry: Yeah.
Dr. Anna: … to create and maintain this new path in life.
Sherry: Right. I believe in action and that was why I wrote the book and that is why I produced
the audios, because I really felt that people had these obsessions, they had these habits that were
running their lives. They weren't getting what they wanted out of life and they couldn't connect
the dots. It's like, well maybe I’m not meeting someone because, and I don’t, I mean this in the
kindest way but if you are let’s say, really unhappy with your weight. So, your obsession is you
are a binge eater. Okay, so you are isolating. So, how do you expect to find love if you are
isolating? But the person may not have connected the two together, they might have just said

17. things like, oh I’ll never find somebody, nobody ever will want me when actually that's not just
true. The truth is that you are just staying home in your binge eating habits and you are not
allowing the universe to bring you someone because you are not out there in the universe
meeting people.
So, it's really all about getting out of your own way and taking responsibility for what it is you
want, because you do have the power. When you start blaming other things and other people,
places and things, the universe hears that as negativity and it isn't interested in bringing you
anything positive when all you are putting out there is that focus that it is someone else’s fault
because you have the power, we have the power to get what we want out of life. And so, the
book and the program is very important for me to help people understand that if you live in
purpose, if you live in passion, if you find your authenticity, if you really unearth who you are in
terms of your value system, you'll have the opportunity to meet somebody else with the same
value system.
I mean, nobody told me when I was young and got married for the first time at 22. Well, make
sure that you share the same values. I mean, all it was, was he's cute, I’m cute, let’s get married. I
mean, it was not about, is this someone that you can like spend – I mean you could say, this is
someone that you can spend the rest of your life but what does that mean? Does that mean, does
this person have the same nature? Does this person have the same ideas about spending money?
Does this person have the same idea about what values are, what family means, what
commitment means?
That I just think that it's so important that the dots get connected, that our obsessions can be
eliminated when we really figure out who we are and that's pretty much what the program is
about. It's finding your purpose, finding your authenticity, letting go of attachments. You know, I
talked about not pushing and pulling and trying so hard to make something happen. Doing action
step and then letting the universe do its job because the universe has your back. What else? I
think the steps are, oh living in the present, learning how to live mindfully, really important,
forgiveness, compassion and appreciation. I was actually going to do a meditation on that if we
had time. If people want to do that after they ask questions, because without profound
compassion and forgiveness for all of the things that have happened. If you just, you don't really
make the space to move forward, because you are still vibrating a lot of negativity and shame
about yourself and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have an obsession. You have a
neuro-chemical something going on that causes you to have these cravings, this hunger and it
might have started a long time ago when you were brought up in a family where your needs
weren't met and so it's not your fault. Those needs weren't met and so you found other unhealthy
ways to get those needs met but now you don't have to blame anything or anyone anymore, you
have the power to make changes.
Dr. Anna: Okay, so we will move onto some questions. Doris from Canada says, my husband and
I have been separated for 6 years because of his alcohol and drug addiction. Neither of us has

18. moved on to other partners. Every time I feel myself completely letting go of him, he becomes
more loving? Then I fall back in love with him, how do I sever for good if it’s not in my heart to?
Sherry: Her name is Doris?
Dr. Anna: Doris.
Sherry: Doris, you have no idea how I feel your pain on so many levels you will never know.
And I just want you to know that's completely normal to fall back on that because what happens,
it's almost like, and I’m not suggesting that anybody is abusive here but it's almost like the cycle
of abuse where they do their drinking, they do their addiction or they do their abusing then they
feel remorseful and then they tell you they are going to change and it will never happen again
and it happens again. You get sucked in between the, “it’s never going to happen again.” And so,
I want you to know that even if this person completely gets clean and sober you will always, if
you are with someone who is an alcoholic or an addict, you will always, always be with a person
who is an alcoholic and addict and there is no guarantee that that person will stay forever clean
and sober.
I'm not suggesting that you don’t give that person a chance. I’m not suggesting that you divorce a
person because they are an addict or an alcoholic but you must know that no matter what they
say or do, the only thing an alcoholic or an addict can promise you is that they won't use that day.
So, if you can live in the day and know the truth because I think what happens is, as much as the
alcohol addict has denial about their own disease, I believe the person that's with that person has
their own denial and that denial is, “oh maybe this time it will be different, this time it will be
different.” And the truth is there is no guarantee it will be different. It might but it might not, and
so, if you know that entering it, nothing to be disappointed about because that person will do
what you expected all along. I hope that answers your question. It is such a hard thing to get
away from because the alcoholic or addict really does believe that they are going to never do it
again. And many don't, many don't use a drink again. Many are sober again for years but many
are not. And it sounds like if this has been going on for 6 years, it sounds like it's an up and
down sort of cycle that hasn't really changed that far.
And even if the person isn't drinking or using maybe his behaviors are as if he is drinking or
using and that is what keeps her going back and forth. He's really pleasant and then he's
unpleasant. He’s really pleasant and then he's unpleasant. And so, it won't change until that
person truly wants to change and will only change one day at a time. I hope that helps to work.
Dr. Anna: Yeah, that was very helpful. Okay, this is a question from someone who's anonymous.
How can you stop obsessing over someone who the chemistry is so great, but you know is an
extremely flawed individual whom you should not or could not be in a healthy relationship with?
Sherry: Well, I would imagine that this person has some sort of, without knowing this person or
talking to this person I think a lot of times obsessive love like I talked about comes from trauma

19. and it comes from some unmet need. And so what she calls or he calls this great chemistry, is
really just something that they are used to, it's a habit, it is something that is so - it gives them the
same emotional high that it would give someone that is using drugs. They feel so good and they
are looking for something that feels so good but that doesn't mean that it is love, it just means
that it feels good. That is what makes us different than animals. You know, animals get attracted,
people get attracted but we as humans get to make choices and if someone isn't good for us, like
what did you say, this person is not someone she - what did you say?
Dr. Anna: It's someone that they can't be, that they can't be in a healthy relationship with.
Sherry: Yeah, if they know they can't be in a healthy relationship then it's not a healthy
relationship. So, all this is based on is love and attraction, excuse me, attraction and attraction
does not mean love. A lot of people believe that attraction means love and it's not the same thing.
We can be attracted to people that are not love because love is an act. Love is acting lovingly, so
if this person is nurturing and you feel cared for and they’re safe and they are available and they
have your best interest at hand, then that's love. If they are just really, there's this great hot thing
going on, that's just what that is, a hot thing.
So, if that's okay and you don’t' walk away feeling empty although if it is obsessive I have the
feeling this person walks away feeling empty most of the time, then it is time to move on
because the emptiness will never go away if they keep going back through the same. You know,
it doesn't mean that the next person they won't be attracted to but the next person will have all
those other wonderful traits that make up for a healthy love. But if they don't want a healthy love
and they just want this chemistry, then by all means stay in that place and then have to deal with
the emptiness that goes with that.
Dr. Anna: Alright. Audrey from Agoura Hills says, “Hi Sherry. Can you say more about
detaching with love? Keep up with the good work, proud of you.”
Sherry: Detaching with love. Oh, I love that. That is so great, in certain communities and
addiction they talk a lot about that. It's really just having your boundaries, being a compassionate
observer of that person but having your boundaries. Saying, you know it's really okay that you
are not for me, it's really okay and I let you go and I let you be and I wish you the very best in all
that you do, but you are not going to cross my boundary because you no longer make me feel
good. You make me feel very sad and empty when you leave or when you are not available, or
when you abuse me or when you cheat on me or whatever else they do. It's okay to still know
that they were there in your life for a reason and you wish them well and you can let them go.
You can forgive them if that feels comfortable. You can't always forgive and I certainly don't
insist people forgive people that have been abusive to them but you can if you want. You can
have great compassion for them and you can know where that ends and that is your boundary,
that you will not allow this person to cross your boundary again because that person no longer
serves your higher good, that’ detaching with love.

20. Dr. Anna: Alright, well we are nearing the end of our call.
Sherry: That was so fast.
Dr. Anna: I know.
Sherry: I cannot believe it.
Dr. Anna: I'm going to ask you two final questions. First of all, where can our listeners go to
connect more deeply with your work?
Sherry: Oh, okay. I have a website which is sgabatherapy.com, that’s S-G-A-B-A-T-H-E-R-A-P-
Y.C-O-M or they can go to thelawofsobriety.com that is thelawofsobriety.com. If they feel like
emailing me and they have a burning desire, is that okay to give my email, Anna? It's up to you.
Dr. Anna: Sure, that's fine.
Sherry: Okay. It's Sherry, S-H-E-R-R-Y, sherry@sgabatherapy.com. Again,
sherry@sgabatherapy.com. I blog on Deepak Chopra's blog, called Intent Blog, I blog on
Beliefnet, I blog on the Law of Sobriety Blog. Let's see, I have my radio show on Tuesdays, like
I said at 3:00 o'clock and 6:00 o'clock, Eastern. If they just type in CBS Sherry Gaba it will come
up, they'll find me. I think it's New Sky Radio is what it's called. Newskyradio.com but if they
just type my name I’m all over the internet and type in CBS it will come up. I'd love for them to
call in and we are going to have all kinds of guests that may be similar to this subject matter or
subject matters that will interest them, so I’d love to hear from them.
Let's see, what else is coming up? I'm speaking in Palm Springs. But a lot of this will, if they go
in and either purchase the product or they do the bonus gift then they will be on a mailing and
they can choose to stay on the mailing list and I’ll always have updates. I'm all over Facebook
and Twitter. They can find me under Law of Sobriety or Sherry Gaba on Facebook and Twitter.
And I'm really accessible. I want to make the time for people that are in pain, that have
something that they want to ask me. So, please feel free and I’m there for them.
Dr. Anna: |Okay, great. Do you have any final words of advice for that listener of ours who is
not very hopeful about the New Year or maybe even just being alive for that matter? I know
you'd mentioned meditation in light of time I’m not sure if we have time for that, but.
Sherry: Okay, I’ll do the meditation if you want
Dr. Anna: Okay, great
Sherry: If people are open to that, okay. You know, I think what I’m going to do, instead of the
meditation I think what might be more powerful is I’m going to do some affirmations. And so,
what your listeners can do is repeat it after me. So, I’m going to say an affirmation and they can
repeat it. Actually I find that this is a really much greater way to end the call. Usually, I’d start

21. the call with a meditation and if I end with an affirmation it really energizes people. So, I'm
going to say the affirmation and please feel free to repeat it to yourself, out louder to yourself.
So, the first one will be, who and what do I appreciate at this very moment? Who and what do I
appreciate at this very moment?
And what has my healing given me? What has my healing given me?
Who can I thank for supporting me during my recovery of obsessive love? Who can I thank for
supporting me during my recovery of obsessive love?
Who can I show gratitude to? Who can I show gratitude to?
Why I’m I thankful for the many blessings in my life? Why I’m I thankful for all the many
blessings in my life?
And how can I remove the blocks that keep me from being grateful? How can I remove the
blocks that keep me from being grateful?
And then, [indiscernible] those were questions to sorted affirmations and these are more
affirmations.
I am so grateful for being in recovery from obsessive love. I am so grateful for being in recovery
from obsessive love.
I am grateful for the new found energy eliminating obsessive love has given me. I am so grateful
for the new found energy eliminating obsessive love has given me.
I value my recovery and myself as I continue on this journey. I value my recovery and myself as
I continue on my journey.
I project an attitude of gratitude.
I choose to focus on appreciation. I feel appreciated today.
I appreciate the lessons I am learning during my journey to recovery. I appreciate the lessons I
am learning during my journey to recovery.
That was just a general affirmation for gratitude and just a little sampling of sometimes if we just
get out of the obsession and get into gratitude and appreciation. And sometimes, and this is
where I will leave your listeners, this is something that was given to me by Melody Beattie, she
wrote the book Codependent No More. She endorsed my book and she said sometimes you just
have to write a list of what you are grateful for that you are not grateful for. So, you might make
a list of why you are not grateful that that breakup happened or why you never met that person in
the first place and then, turn it around and say why you are grateful for that. Like for instance for
me I’ll give you an example. I'm not grateful that I got divorced at age 25, that was very sad and

22. I’m really angry. I would have loved to be married forever and blah, blah, blah but I am so
grateful that we created a beautiful daughter together.
So, with everything that you are not grateful for, right underneath the surface are the blessings. I
wouldn't be on the phone right now if I hadn't become a single mother. I wouldn't be on the
phone right now if I hadn't gone back to school. I wouldn't be on the phone right now if wouldn't
have met Dr. Drew and became a celebrity TV expert and then gave me the opportunity to write
a book. They are all blessings. Even when things were so hard, they all underneath became
blessings.
I’m so thankful Anna for you having me, this subject is so important to me. It's so dear and it's
just I know the pain and I’m just, I hope that I gave a little room for healing tonight.
Dr. Anna: Thank you. What you said was beautifully said and I love it, I love the affirmations.
And, thank you for this time together.
Sherry: You are welcome.
Dr. Anna: It's really has been an enlightening experience. I feel like we've been through a
journey together
Sherry: Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is. It's a very personal journey when people talk about love. I
mean, it's a really personal thing and I’m always open to share my personal journey because I
think it makes me human. I’m not above anybody, I’m just right there with all of you. All of you
listening, I’m right with you, I’m no different. I've been through it, been there, gone there, done
that and I may do it again but I’m here today at this very moment and hopefully made a little
difference in your life.
Dr. Anna: Well, thank you Sherry.
Sherry: You are welcome.
Dr. Anna: I appreciate you in opening up and sharing your story and it's been an inspiration and
it's very, very helpful
Sherry: Oh good, good. Did you want me to stay on the line, or?
Dr. Anna: Sure, sure if you could for just a minute.
Sherry: Okay.
Dr. Anna: If you know someone who could benefit from this information, please feel free to send
them an email at www.breakupsolutionsummit.com so that they can register for this event and
receive all the updates. And then, they can also have the opportunity to listen to the 48 hour
replay of this really valuable interview with Sherry Gaba and I’d like to hear from all of you. So,

23. please share your thoughts below in the Facebook comments at the bottom of the page and I
promise I will respond.
And my final words are that if you feel trapped right now by your circumstances. Everything that
you do in life is a choice and you are always free to choose again. And even prisoners are free to
choose their thoughts and feel peace and happiness under any condition. And Sherry has helped
us this evening to see that you do have the power to be free, and she's shown us ways to not feel
so trapped. And I think sometimes we cling to old experiences and people because they are
familiar but this breakup is offering you a clean slate, a new beginning and fresh circumstances
to embrace change and be open to something even better. I want to thank you Sherry and thank
you everyone listening, I am so grateful for you and I care about all of you and I look forward to
connecting with you again tomorrow evening, same time, same place. Goodnight everyone.
Sherry: Goodnight. Thank you, again.