Nlp

Take that Step

©

with Gerry Murray

Discover
NLP
with Gerry Murray & Bryce Redford

If you always do what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get what you’ve always got
… and there’s always more!

A New Start
I have wiped the slate clean,
No more reminders from the past.
Memories of what I have been,
Have vanished at long last.
I look forward to my future new,
Where all is territory strange.
Soon I will be among the few,
That plans their life at long range.
I see my life laid out at my feet,
New friends shall rally at my call.
They will be the first I will greet,
At this my welcoming ball.
Soon all memories will depart,
Of a past left well behind.
I will get off to a new start,
With the best of mankind.

George Bernard Shaw

Outline of Booklet
This booklet is designed to support and complement a short
Discover NLP seminar. It is by no means exhaustive or a substitute
for proper NLP training and further study.
Our aim is to answer four very basic questions:
•

Why do people choose to learn NLP?

•

What is NLP – an overview?

•

How can you learn NLP?

•

What can you do next?

Forewarning
NLP is a powerful technology and therefore it must be used
responsibly and ecologically. Ecology is an important concept in NLP.
In essence it’s the study of consequences. To be truly ecological,
whatever you do should not only be good for you but for others
around you and indeed the planet in general. An ecology check is
often the most important step that is missing in traditional goal
setting. No wonder so many people achieve their goals and are still
unhappy. Remember King Midas. He wanted everything he touched
to turn to gold. If he’d put his goal through an ecology check he
would have realized some of the consequences of that decision.
Our experience of NLP and those practicing it has been largely
ecological. Just like an axe can be used to either to chop wood or to
harm someone, some people use NLP in a way that is not ecological
– but, the good news is you can see them coming!
Our guiding principle is that NLP is something you do with others
and not to them. This is an important distinction.
We wish you great enjoyment and success on your own NLP
journey!

© Gerry Murray & Bryce Redford

2

Neuro Linguistic Programming defined
It’s rather an unfortunate name for something so popular and
powerful! And, there are many stories in the NLP folklore about how
the name came about.
NLP was created by Richard Bandler & John Grinder at the
University of Palo Alto in California in the early 70s. It gained
recognition through the publication of their first book, The Structure
of Magic, Volume I in 1975.
One helpful way to explore a definition is to separate out its three
core elements:
Neuro

This refers to our neurology and more specifically
to our five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell,
taste) through which we take in information from
the environment around us

Linguistic

Our language, verbal and non-verbal, and how we
code, organize and give meaning to our
experiences

Programming The strategies and approaches we use to achieve
consistent results or outcomes

In other words, NLP is how to use the minds own language to
consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.
NLP has often been described as the study of subjective experience.
Richard Bandler defines it as being an attitude and methodology
that leaves behind a trail of techniques.
Attitude

Through extreme curiosity, wanton experimentation
and acting ‘As If’

Methodology Modeling what someone with exceptional talent
does and teaching it to others for accelerated
learning
Techniques

A host of tried and tested tools that enable
practitioners and clients alike to achieve their
outcomes, resolve problems and create generative
change for individuals and organizations


3

The Strategies of Success
Although extracting a model of excellence is mostly done with
specific skills in specific contexts, it is relatively easy to translate
that model across contexts. Since Bandler & Grinder’s early
modeling some powerful patterns have emerged such as the five
strategies of successful people.
1. Know your outcome
2. Take MASSIVE action
3. Have exceptional sensory acuity
4. Have behavioral ﬂexibility
5. Operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence
NLP provides a synthesis of knowledge and aspects of it are to be
found in popular self-help programs such as the Law of Attraction
and most, if not all, motivational speakers and several prominent
world leaders have been trained in NLP.


4

Why do you want to learn NLP?
The answer to this question is quite personal. However, when you
have the answer you will be better prepared to select the right NLP
training for you.
Historically, there are four main reasons why you would want to
learn NLP:
1. Personal Development
2. Add skills to your therapeutic/coaching career
3. Add skills to your training/teaching/presenting career
4. Develop more effective communication, influencing and
negotiation skills for business
In practice, most people train in NLP for more than one of these
reasons. When you have identified your own reasons then you’ll
know what level of NLP training you want to do.
Now, write down your own personal reasons for wanting to learn
NLP:


5

Personal Development
In learning NLP you go through a process of self-exploration. Before
being able to influence or help others you first of all need to know
who you are and how you get results in your own life. Then you
need to be able to apply all your learning to produce consistently
good results for yourself.
To acquire the NLP tools and methodologies you first of all need to
experience them. So, it is difficult to avoid learning more about
yourself along the way.
Therapy/Coaching
NLP focuses mainly on how we structure our world. We are not so
much concerned about the content of someone else’s problems as
to how they are creating and maintaining those problems in their
life.
The NLP mindset and toolbox enables you as a coach or therapist to
identify patterns in your client’s behavior and to design
interventions that empower your clients to break through and break
free from whatever is holding them back.
So, whether this is dealing with stuff from the past or creating more
of what your client wants in the future, NLP can get outstanding
results.
It also has the potential to help prevent the onset of chronic
illnesses and support the body heal itself.
Training/Teaching/Presenting
As a trainer, teacher or presenter you are solely responsible for the
results you get when standing in front of a group of people. Many
trainers often attempt to blame the group for their own inability to
communicate effectively.
Amongst other things, NLP gives you the skills to present on many
learning levels to any group of people, to create and maintain
rapport, to manage your own state and cope with anything
unexpected, to ensure that your participants are in a good state and
that energy levels are high.
Business
Most problems in organizations can be traced back to poor
communication. So, many people feel constantly stressed,
overwhelmed, lacking in energy, annoyed by colleagues, and the list

6

goes on. People live in states of fear, anxiety and worry. Some even
find that their confidence disappears. None of these conditions are
good for you, your colleagues or your health.
NLP outdoes virtually all other approaches when an organization is
going through change. There are NLP tools to assist you with such
common organization challenges such as:
•

Leadership development

•

Employee engagement

•

Change management

•

Organizational design

•

Team development

•

Motivation

•

Negotiation (sales & purchasing)

•

Strategic planning

•

Selection & interviewing

•

Appraisals

•

Creativity & innovation

•

Sales

There’s probably no sales training course that is more effective than
an NLP Practitioner Training. We’ve heard amazing stories of selfemployed people, sales people and entrepreneurs skyrocketing their
careers after they attend an NLP training.


7

What is NLP?
We already defined NLP in the introduction and now you’re probably
wondering what NLP is specifically. In this section, we will present
some core NLP concepts and describe what you can expect to learn
up to Practitioner and Master Practitioner level.

NLP Presuppositions
We will start with the NLP Presuppositions. These are a series of
empowering beliefs that when we act ‘As If’ they are true generate
consistent results in everything we do. The list varies according to
where you source them and you’ll find that the most common ones
are:
1.

You cannot not communicate

2.

People respond to their experience not to reality itself

3.

Having a choice is better than not having a choice

4.

People make the best choice they can at the time

5.

People work perfectly

6.

All actions have a purpose

7.

Everyone has a unique model of the world.

8.

Respect other peoples’ models of the world.

9.

The map is not the territory.

10. People are not their behavior.
11. All meaning is context dependent
12. All behavior has a positive intention.
13. The most important information about a person is how that
person is behaving.
14. Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they
have available.
15. There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states.
16. Everyone has all the resources they need to succeed and to
achieve their desired outcomes.
17. The person with the most flexibility of behavior has the
greatest influence on others.

8

18. There is no failure, only feedback.
19. Everyone is in charge of their mind, and therefore their
results.
20. The meaning of communication is the response you get.
21. Resistance in a client or audience is a sign of a lack of
rapport.

In two minds
There are two primary ways in which we make sense of the world:
consciously and unconsciously.
Your conscious mind is the mind that is actively thinking for you all
day long. It often manifests itself as that inner voice that talks to
you, the one you think of as “me”.
Whilst the conscious mind certainly has its uses it is limited in what
it can achieve on its own. Research has shown that it can only focus
on 7 +/- 2 things at one time. Therefore, it needs support.
Your unconscious mind provides that support. It is your larger mind
and can process millions of messages of sensory information per
second. It contains all of your wisdom, memories and intelligence.
It is the source of your creativity. It stores all the “programs” of
automatic behavior you use to live your life.
In short, it looks after you and keeps you safe.
The unconscious mind is like having an autopilot function in the
brain. It enables you to carry out multiple functions without having
to concentrate on all of them at once.
These programs are useful because they free your conscious mind
up to concentrate on other things.
Sometimes, like on your computer, you need to change, override,
rewrite, upgrade or completely delete these programs.
Who truly wants an operating system that’s out of date?


9

The NLP Communication Model
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is about noticing patterns. So,
in NLP, we are not so much interested in content as in process,
structure, form. Often this is an interesting transition for us to
make. The first step is to pay attention to the process of your
interaction with others - listen to the form, watch the form, feel the
form, and not get involved in the content.
NLP Communication Model

Take that Step

©

with Gerry Murray

Our thinking:
Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Olfactory
Gustatory
Internal Dialogue

Filters
Internal
Representation

Delete
Distort
Generalise

Sensory inputs:

External
Event

Time/Space

Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Olfactory
Gustatory

Matter/Energy
State

Language

Feedback

Memories
Decisions
Meta Programs
Values & Beliefs
Physiology

Attitudes

Results

Behaviour

This Communication Model enables us to understand how we make
sense of the world around us, how we communicate, learn, behave
and change. It’s only a model and as with all models it is more or
less useful in different contexts.
The belief is that "The map is not the territory." And so the internal
representations that we make about an outside event are not
necessarily the event itself.
As a human being and someone able of conscious (and
unconscious) thought you may currently believe that the world that
you perceive is real. And it is. To you. The world you perceive is
real only to you because the world you perceive is different from the
world, which others perceive. Many things including what you
believe; your experiences; your memories and many other mental
‘ﬁlters’ affect your perception. These influence and colour the
representation of the world inside your mind that you then act

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upon.
Information about external events comes in through our sensory
input channels and it is filtered to what is important to us. Although
there are many specific filters there are three major unconscious
filters, which are absolutely necessary to understand and cope with
the world around us.
Deletion
We delete a lot of information at any one time. Right now, become
aware of your left big toe. Now, where was it until I mentioned it?
That’s deletion. We miss things all the time overlook the obvious
and tune out.
You will have deleted much of the information that has been
provided to you already today. For example –
- What color is the car parked next to yours in the car park?
- How much money do you have in your pockets?
- What was the very first thing someone said to you this
morning?
Distortion
We bend reality to fit - we read between the lines and hear what we
think we hear, or make it the way we want it. Daydreaming is
distortion, seeing faces in clouds. That’s distortion at work. Twisting
our perception to make the outside world agree with our internal
opinion.
Generalization
We group things together and say, “This is like that”. Cushions,
stools and sofas are all places to sit, so if you came into my house
and I said “Please sit down” you’d know what to do. You compare
new data to what you already know, which is the basis of all
learning. Every morning when you swing your legs out of bed they
always go down to the floor. They never go up. You’ve learned that
now.
So, what’s left after we delete, distort and generalize?


11

Internal Representation
Our Internal Representation is made up of pictures, sounds,
feelings, smells, tastes and our self-talk – these are the six
modalities, which form our version of reality. One of the most
important discoveries in NLP was that of Sub-Modalities. These are
the finer distinctions that we make within our modalities and are the
bits that code and give meaning to our experiences. So, it was
discovered that the intensity of meaning that someone gave to an
experience was directly related to the sub-modalities they used
within their representational system.
For example, to know that someone visualizes is not enough. We
need to know how they visualize. Is the image they make black and
white or color, is it moving or still, is it big or small, framed or
panoramic, near or far, focused or blurred, etc… The same goes for
sounds and feelings. Often, one of these sub-modalities is critical to
the meaning the person is giving an experience or memory. By
identifying this sub-modality driver it is possible for someone to
reframe and change their experience of an event.
If you listen really carefully to the specifics of the language that
someone is using they often reveal the sub-modalities of how they
store their experiences, problems etc. When someone talks about
“needing to get things in perspective” or “wanting some distance”
from a problem they are telling you through their sub-modalities
what is really influencing them.
Whether working with colleagues, direct reports or coaching clients
by using this information you can enable them to radically change
their experience of an event, solve problems quickly and move on.
But before we can do anything with NLP we need to connect. How
do we do that?


12

Rapport
The basis of rapport is that when people are like each other, they
like each other. When people are not like each other, they don't like
each other. When you like someone, you are willing to assist them
achieving what they want.
Research has shown that 38% of all communication is tone of voice,
and 55% is physiology. So, most communication is outside of our
conscious awareness. A tremendous opportunity exists for
communication outside of normal channels, and that's what rapport
is all about.
Sensory acuity
One of the delicate secrets of NLP is the development of Sensory
Acuity. Richard Bandler & John Grinder both refer to the importance
of it from the earliest NLP texts such as ‘Frogs Into Princes’ right
through to the modern trainings of today. Perfecting your Sensory
Acuity is one of the keys to true mastery in communication. It is
essential in getting in rapport with another person.
Elements of rapport
Too often communication takes place in a system where people
unconsciously mismatch modalities. So the first element of
rapport is to match the modality the person is using.
On the next page are lists of predicates, and predicate phrases.
These predicates are sorted into 4 main categories:
-

Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic (which includes Olfactory and Gustatory)
Auditory Digital – our self talk

Look at these now, and notice the words and phrases that people
use in each major representational system. In each major
representational system, people are using different words, different
phrases that actually reveal what's going on inside their heads.


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Visual

Auditory

Kinesthetic

Auditory
Digital

see
look
appear
view
show
dawn
reveal
envision
illuminate
twinkle
clear
foggy
focused
hazy
crystal clear
flash
imagine
picture
sparkling
snap shot
vivid
perceive
light
ray
mesmerize
watch
perspective
frame
shine
dim
image
vision
observe

hear
listen
sound(s)
make music
harmonize
tune in/out
be all ears
rings a bell
silence
be heard
resonate
deaf
mellifluous
dissonance
overtones
unhearing
attune
outspoken
tell
announce
talk
speak
resonate
state
whine
babble
echo
orchestrate
whisper
snap
hum
loud
dialogue

feel
touch
grasp
get hold of
slip through
catch on
tap into
make contact
throw out
turn around
hard
unfeeling
concrete
scrape
get a handle
on
solid
suffer
unbudging
impression
touch base
rub
smooth
pushy
stumble
in touch
relaxed
loose
cool
tepid
heavy

sense
experience
understand
think
learn
process
decide
motivate
consider
change
perceive
insensitive
distinct
conceive
know
question
be conscious
logic
reasonable
statistically


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The second element of rapport is physical mirroring of the
individual's physiology. Actually physically copying their posture,
facial expressions, hand gestures and movements, and their eye
blinking will cause their body to say unconsciously to their mind,
"Hey, (s)he's like me!" It's undeniable to the nervous system.
The third element is to match their voice: The tone, tempo, timbre
(quality of the voice), and the volume. You can also match their key
words. Perhaps they often say, "Actually." You can use it in a
sentence several times. Say it back to them.
The fourth element is to match their breathing. You can actually
pace someone's breathing by breathing at exactly the same time as
they do (matching the in and out breath). By matching their
breathing, by pacing their breathing, you can then begin to lead
them out of the representational system they're in, into another
one.
The fifth element is to match the size of the pieces of information
(chunk size or level of abstraction) they deal with. If someone
usually deals in the big picture, they will probably be bored with the
details. On the other hand someone who is into details will find that
there's not enough information to deal with, if you only give them
the big picture. So make sure that you are matching the content
chunks that the person deals with.
The sixth element is to match their common experiences. This is
what's usually called rapport. When people first meet, often their
early relationship is about matching common experiences, common
interests, background, beliefs and values, their ideologies and
common associations.
These are the critical elements of rapport. On NLP Diploma and
Practitioner Training we teach you how to establish and maintain
rapport even when you disagree with someone.


15

Getting what you want
Why are goals and outcomes important?

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from
here?

The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to

Alice: I don't much care where.

The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.

Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.

The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.
~ Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Being clear about what you want to achieve is a key aspect of NLP
and in order to do this there are some distinctions that we make.
Goals vs States
People often confuse goals with states. They say things such as “My
goal is to be happy.” However, happiness is a state and you can
have it now if you really want it. See the short section on states.
Focus on what you want
Our minds cannot process a negative statement directly because
we’re we cannot put our attention on something without it
becoming part of our experience. When I give you the instruction:
“Don’t think of a pink elephant!” the first thing you do is think of a
pink elephant. Another way of putting it is you cannot think about
what you don’t want to think about with out thinking about it!
This has enormous consequences for what we achieve in life. We
always experience what we focus on. When you focus on what you
don’t want you tend to get more of it. Strange, isn’t it!?


16

Beware of static Positive Affirmations!
For many years people have been evoking positive states and
changing their values in life. This is a powerful and excellent thing.
However, it’s important to explain that stating affirmations, such as
”I am an excellent individual who deserves to be loved”, often fails
to address the limiting beliefs, negative emotions and ineffective
strategies that may have brought you to the point where you
required affirmations in the ﬁrst place!
A better affirmation is: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better
and better” ~ Emile Couet. This is effective because it works with
the person’s current experience. A static affirmation risks
mismatching a person’s current experience and therefore
the
results are unpredictable.
NLP tools such as Belief Change, Re-imprinting and TimeLine
Therapy enable you to clear the underlying issue and achieve goals
that ensure positive change lasts forever

Emotional States
The combination of our internal representations (thoughts), our
physiology and emotions creates our states. Joseph O’Connor (The
NLP Workbook) puts it quite nicely: “A state is our way of being in
any moment.”
States are the most immediate part of our experiences and they
vary in intensity, length and familiarity. It goes without saying that
the calmer the state the easier it is to think rationally and the more
violent or intense the state the more our thinking is disrupted and
the more energy we expend and this is supported by studies of how
the brain works.
Although, we like to think and believe that states are caused by
events outside of our control, we actually create them ourselves.
NLP provides the tools for us to be able to choose our states and to
influence the states of others in a positive way towards greater
health, happiness and effectiveness.
States affect our ability to produce the results that we want. Take a
musician who plays perfectly in rehearsals and “freezes” on stage.
This also happens to people who have to present in the world of
business. In NLP we say:
“There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states”

17

State management is critical not just to how we perform but also to
how well we learn and how we connect with people.
People are attracted to anyone who can make them feel good.
Emotions are contagious. So, walk into the office in a bad mood and
you will induce bad moods in those around you. Notice the
difference when you walk into the office with a big smile on your
face. So, we can influence our state both in how we think and
through our physiology. Try this experiment. Stand straight upright,
looking towards the ceiling, thinking of something funny and with a
big smile on your face. Now, try to get stressed out. You can’t do it!

Strategies
A tourist stops a farmer in a wee village in the west of Ireland and
asks for directions to Dublin. The farmer replies: “If I were you I
wouldn’t start from here!”
Strategies are those sequences of consistent thoughts and actions
that we use to achieve our outcomes. It's what somebody does in
their head when they do what they do. Strategies can be either
effective or ineffective, depending on the context and starting point.
For example, if you reverse a strategy, that is, if you reverse the
order and sequence of the strategy, the outcome that you get may
be substantially different. If circumstances change a given strategy
may no longer be effective.
An analogy that seems to work really well in describing strategies is
the analogy of baking a cake. In the process of baking a cake, you
get all the ingredients together, get a bowl, and you put the
ingredients into a bowl in a certain order. It's important to take all
the ingredients and put them in a bowl in a certain order. In a
recipe, there's a certain order or sequence of when the elements
should go into the recipe. And so, if you put the elements of the
cake into the bowl in the wrong order, or even in the oven before
you put them into the bowl, you'll get a substantially different
outcome.


18

Language structures our experience
We will briefly introduce some of the key linguistic aspects of NLP.
This will make you aware of the basic principles and they require
quite a bit of practice when you want to master these. The aim is to
be able to use your language with volition to get the results you
want both for yourself and for others with whom you work or have
relationships. We need to be aware that language not only describes
but it also creates reality.
Presuppositions
Everything we write or say has presuppositions built in. The
challenge in NLP is to be able to distinguish between the inherent
presupposition in a sentence and what we call a mind read. Mind
reading is a form of distortion and this can often get us into trouble
when people misinterpret what other people are saying. As an
example, what does the following phrase mean:
“He regularly beats his wife.”
Does it mean that he physically abuses his wife or does it mean that
he often beats her at golf when they play. Notice, how saying that
he beats her on the golf course can also generate several
interpretations.
In NLP we turn mind reading off and this increases our flexibility in
how we respond. We can use the Meta Model [see below] to
uncover the true meaning of a sentence if it is not clear to us at the
outset.
The Meta Model
This model was the first NLP model and was based on the modeling
of therapists Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls. Bandler and Grinder
combined this modeling with Grinder’s expertise in Transformational
Grammar and published the results in the book The Structure of
Magic Volume 1 (1975).
As we’ve seen we communicate in words by deleting, distorting and
generalizing the deep structure of our experience into a spoken
surface structure. The Meta Model is a set of language patterns and
questions that reconnect the deletions, distortions and
generalizations with the experience that generated them. These
language patterns and questions ‘reverse engineer’ the language
working on the surface structure to uncover the deep structure
behind it.

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So, essentially the Meta Model uncovers lots of missing information
or details and can be applied in any situation where we need to get
more specific e.g. in an interview, meeting or a coaching session.
The Milton Model
The Milton Model was the 2nd NLP model to be published. Bandler
and Grinder modeled the exceptional therapist Milton Erickson, who
gave his name to a leading branch of hypnotherapy: Ericksonian
Hypnosis.
In some ways the Milton model is the mirror image of the Meta
Model. Whilst the Meta Model drills down the Milton Model
deliberately generates vague surface structures that give the
listener the greatest amounts of choice in choosing a deep structure
and sensory experience to match the words. In this way, Milton
Model patterns pace the listener’s reality and they are vague
enough to mean whatever you want them to mean. This means that
your listener has the opportunity to access their full unconscious
resources, which in turn enables them to solve difficult problems
and make changes relatively easily.
In practical situations, Milton patterns are very useful. For example,
in getting instant rapport with someone and in negotiations chunking up enables people to find points of agreement. This table
shows how the two models complement each other:
Meta Model
Chunks language down, makes it
more specific
Moves from deep structure to
surface structure by challenging
deletions, distortions and
generalizations
Concerned with bringing
experience and meaning into
consciousness
Deals with the results of a
transderivational search
Deals with precise means
Accesses conscious
understanding


Milton Model
Chunks language up, makes it
more general
Moves from surface structure to
deep structure by generating
deletions, distortions and
generalizations
Concerned with unconscious
resources
Provokes a transderivational
search
Deals with general
understandings
Accesses unconscious resources

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The Hierarchy of Ideas
The Hierarchy of Ideas is a model of the scope of our thinking and
juxtaposes the Meta Model and the Milton Model. It also
demonstrates our potential for lateral thinking through the use of
Metaphor.
Hierarchy of ideas

Take that Step

©

with Gerry Murray

In Trance
Big chunk
Abstract
Concept
Sameness

Existence

Chunking Up
«For what purpose?»
«What is your intention?»
«What is this an example of?»
«What does that do for you?»

Movement

Milton Model

Transportation

Planes

Trains

Lorries

BMW
Who, What, Where, When, How?
«What speciﬁcally?»
«What are examples of this…..?»
or any Meta Model question.

Chunking
Down

Bikes

Cars

Classes &
Categories

Buses

Boats

Parts

Audi

Engine

A5

Piston

Coupé

Ring

Windows
Meta Model
Difference
Details
Concrete
Small chunk
Out Of Trance

There are several ways of chunking down and inevitably you’ll end
up making a choice between chunking down on parts or chunking
down on categories. At its extreme it’s the structure of nit picking
and mismatching. We use the Meta Model to chunk down.
Chunking up moves us in the direction of abstraction and the
language becomes highly nominalized. Nominalizations are process
words or verbs that have become suspended in time e.g.
transportation, communication and leadership. A nominalization is
any noun that you cannot put in wheelbarrow because of its
abstraction. At its extreme it’s the structure of overwhelm because
the chunks are too big. We use the Milton Model to chunk up.
When we chunk sideways we are essentially using Metaphor. Being
able to use metaphor is a basis of good communication, writing,
training, teaching and therapy. In NLP metaphor covers figures of
speech, stories, comparisons, similes and parables.
Metaphors compare one thing with another in order to illuminate.
Paradoxically, by making a comparison they make the original
meaning clearer. We need comparison to understand. Metaphors are
all around us, particularly in stories. In ancient societies stories are

21

how wisdom, science, law, political and economic ideas were passed
on. In organizations they are the windows to an organization’s
culture.
Open to interpretation
Why bother with the Hierarchy of Ideas in the first place? Quite
simple. Often when we communicate some of us communicate very
specifically and others communicate quite vaguely. This can lead to
lots of tension, misunderstanding and conflict, especially at work.
We may think we’re communicating when we say something like
“we’ve got to improve our communication” and the other person(s)
probably thinks that she knows what you’re talking about. However,
their interpretation of communication (a vague term) may be
entirely different from yours. So, when they improve their
communication you may get a shock! No wonder so many people
get stressed out because they’re not quite sure what their boss
wanted when she said we have a communication problem in this
organization and you need to do something about it.
Needless to say, some professions such as politics enjoy using
vague language for obvious reasons!


22

Framing
Nothing has meaning in and of itself. Information does not exist on
its own. It must be understood in context. The meaning we derive
from any experience depends on the context or frame we apply.
This is similier to how we frame or crop pictures or zooming in and
out of a scene in a movie. So the frame we use sets the focus of our
attention and colours and shapes our experience.
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so” ~
Shakespeare
The frame you set governs the questions you ask about what
happens, how you feel about it, how you react to it and how you
deal with it. A powerful way of setting frames is through questions
because they include assumptions about an event.
There are seven important frames used in NLP:
•

The Ecology frame: looks to the long term and you evaluate
how an experience fits into the wider system of family, friends
and the universe. The opposite is the ‘me’ frame, which says
‘if it’s ok for me now, then it’s OK’.

•

The Outcome frame: evaluates events by whether they
bring you closer to your outcomes and it should be used in
conjunction with the Ecology frame. The opposite of this
frame is the ‘blame’ frame. ‘What’s wrong and who’s to
blame?’

•

The Backtrack frame: restates key points using the other
person’s own words, often matching voice tone and body
language as well. It ensures rapport. The opposite is the
‘paraphrase’ frame, which says ‘I define what you said and
what you meant’.

•

The Contrast frame: evaluates by difference. Not just any
difference but the ‘difference that makes the difference.’ The
opposite is the ‘sameness’ frame, which says ‘it’s all the same
really, it doesn’t matter’.

•

The ‘As If’ frame: evaluates by pretending something is true
in order to explore possibilities and is very useful for creative
problem solving and accessing your intuition. The opposite is
the ‘helpless’ frame, which says ‘if I don’t know, then there’s
nothing I can do about it’.

The Systemic frame: evaluates by relationship. You do not
focus on a single event but on how it relates to other events
as part of a system. Essentially, we’re looking at patterns. The
23
•

opposite is the ‘laundry list’ frame, which says ‘make a list of
every possible relevant factor and then we will understand it’.
•

The Negotiation frame: evaluates by agreement. It
assumes that everyone would like to come to an accord. The
opposite is the ‘war’ frame, which says ‘I want something and
I’m going to get it even if it kills us both’.

We also have five frames, adaptations of the above and which we
use for problem solving:
•

Outcomes rather than Blame / Results versus Reasons

•

‘How rather than ‘Why’

•

Possibilities rather than Necessities

•

Feedback rather than Failure

•

Curiosity rather than Assumption


24

Exploring relationships
Two important NLP tools are worth referring to here briefly, the
Meta Mirror (also known as Perceptual Positions) and Neurological
Levels of Change. Both were developed by Robert Dilts, who was in
the original group of students at Palo Alto that assisted Bandler and
Grinder with their research.
The Meta Mirror
The Meta Mirror is a process to explore a relationship with another
person. It essentially enables you to explore the relationship from
3-4 different perspectives or perceptual positions:
First position is your own reality, your own view of any situation.
Personal mastery comes from a strong first position. You need to
know yourself and your values to be an effective role model and
influence others by example.
Second position is making a creative leap of your imagination to
understand the world from another’s perspective, to think in the
way they think. Second position is the basis of empathy and
rapport. It gives us the ability to appreciate other people’s feelings.
You can have 2 types of 2nd position: emotional, which is
understanding another person’s feelings and intellectual, which is
understanding how another person thinks.
Third position is stepping outside your view and the other person’s
view to a detached perspective. It is the proverbial ‘fly on the wall’.
There you can see the relationships between two viewpoints. Third
position is important to check the ecology of your outcomes. It
enables you to see the consequences.
Fourth position gives you a true Meta view and answers the
question: how does this relationship fit into the bigger picture or
system. It is very useful when working within organizations.


25

Neurological levels of Change for alignment
This model is a powerful tool for personal alignment. It is
particularly useful in organizational change because it goes above
and beyond the relationships between functions and focuses on the
relationships between people from these functions. The aim is to
have complete alignment of relationships on 6 key levels.
Logical level
Purpose/mission

Description
The ultimate reason for being

Identity

Why we are here
The sense of self or role

Values & Beliefs

Who we are
What is important and true

Capabilities

Why we do things
Methods, approaches and strategies

Behavior

How we do what we do
Skills and actions

Environment

What we do and say
The contexts
Where and when of our actions
OUTCOMES/RESULTS

Environment acts as a boundary for all other levels. The alignment
between the higher logical levels determines behavior. Purpose,
identity, values and beliefs, and capability have no physical form
other than in thought and energy. One cannot see a belief, only the
behavior that results from holding that belief.
As a rule, at whichever level you make a change, levels below will
also change, but levels above may, or may not, change.
So, the higher the level of change, the more change you get.


26

How do I become an NLP Practitioner?
Some of you may be wondering about this already. Shopping for
NLP training programs is like shopping for clothes: there are many
styles, fabrics, sizes, etc to choose from and it’s important that you
pick the right one for you. There are essentially two main styles of
learning NLP, each with their pros & cons

1.

Spread out over a long period of time, typically 21 days over
6-7 weekends. This normally takes around 6 months and will
certainly ensure that you learn the information at a pace where
you are certain to understand it. Some drawbacks are that:
people often drop out because it takes too long; you may not
get to attend every course and therefore you have gaps in your
knowledge; you spend a major portion of every training
backtracking what was taught in previous modules. Your
unconscious mind prefers to learn quickly. A useful analogy is
how cartoon movies used to be made, one still at a time. By
putting all the stills together quickly the moving flowed and you
understood it. If each frame were separated out a day at a
time you would find it difficult to both understand and retain
the information in a meaningful way.

2.

The second style of learning NLP is to go for an accelerated
learning program or an ‘immersion’ approach. So, you take out
anything from 7 to 12 days and immerse yourself in the
knowledge. The advantage is that you tend to learn the
information more effectively but a drawback is that you may
not have the depth of comprehension of the slower courses.

3.

A third way is to combine 1 & 2 above. You first complete a
Home Study version of the training and then you immerse
yourself for 7-10 days over a short period of time. Add in an
open-book exam and you are sure to have both the fast
learning and the comprehension to go with it. You also have
the benefit of the Home Study program to refer to afterwards.
A good NLP school will also provide coaching support.

For those living abroad who want to learn NLP through English there
are the additional time and cost factors associated with traveling to
the UK, the USA or another English speaking country.


27

What can you expect at an NLP training?
Research into ultradian rhythms has discovered that we need a
break every 90 minutes. So, a good NLP training course will break
the topics taught into 90-minute segments.
To ensure that all learning styles are taken into account the training
should normally be structured using a system such as the 4-Mat
system. This ensures that in each segment the following is covered:
•
•
•
•

Why you are learning this topic
What is the theory underpinning the topic
How do you actually practice the topic – this is done through
exercises
What if I apply this topic – a generous Question & Answer
session to explore what has been learned during the exercises

Although exercises are sometimes done in twos and in larger groups
of 5 plus, the most familiar exercise format is working in groups of
3 (person A, B, C):
•
•
•

Person A is the Practitioner practicing the skill
Person B is the ‘client’ of the Practitioner
Person C is the observer or coach for person A

The roles rotate and this ensures that all participants get 3 different
experiences and perspectives on the exercise. Should a group not
get the expected result then an exercise is reloaded during a break
and they get a chance to do it again. To be awarded a Practitioner
certificate you must demonstrate that you can use the tools of NLP.
A reputable NLP training will also have coaching assistants to help
you with the exercises. The normal ratio for this is 1 assistant for
every 6 participants.


28

What if you learn NLP?
NLP studies how people do what they do and once you know that
you can:
•
•
•
•
•
•

Stop it
Make it quicker
Learn it
Install it
Change it
Remove it

...depending on your outcome
Here are some contexts where we need to have clear outcomes and
where NLP can assist us in getting the results we want.


29

NLP In Sales
1.

Build Rapport:
•Match & Mirror - Physiology.
•Match - Voice Tonality.
•Match - Predicates along with Keywords and Phrases.

2.

Ask Questions:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

3.

Well Formed Outcome Questions.
Chunking Up and Down.
Meta Model.
Elicit Decision Making Strategy.
Elicit Convincer Strategy.
Elicit Reassurance Strategy.
Elicit Values & Meta Programs.
Anchor States of Decisiveness, Need, Want and
Reassurance.

Confirm need and value (Pre-close):
"Just suppose you can have (need/want/outcome) what
would that be worth to you?" (Fire Anchors)

4.

Connect your product/service to their need/want/outcome:
•
•
•
•

5.

Utilize Preferred Representational System.
Utilize Values & Meta Programs.
Satisfy Convincer Strategy.
Fire Anchors.

Utilize Decision Making Strategy closing on last step:
•
•
•
•

No: Reframe objection, cycle back to step 3.
Yes: Take the order and payment.
Utilize Reassurance Strategy
Fire Reassurance Anchor.


30

NLP In Management
1.

Rapport.

2.

Preferred Representational System.

3.

Strategies:

Motivation.
Decision.

4.


5.

Reframing.

6.

Values & Meta Programs.


31

NLP In Presentations & Training
1.

Build Rapport.

2.

Use all the Representational Systems.

3.

Elicit useful States and Anchor them.

4.

Use Metaphors.

5.

Use Milton Model to Induce Trance and create Positive Internal
Representations.

6.

Use Meta Model along with Chunking Up and Down in question
and answer sessions.


32

NLP In Therapy
1.

Build Rapport:
•
•
•

2.

Gather information:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

3.

Anchoring.
Sub modalities.
Parts.
Time Line Therapy®.
Hypnosis.

Test:
•
•
•

5.

"Can you do it now?"
"When do you do it?"
"When don't you do it?
"How do you do it?"
"How do you know it’s a problem?"
Meta Model
Reframing.
Well Formed Outcome Questions.

Intervention:
•
•
•
•
•

4.

Match & Mirror - Physiology.
Match - Voice Tonality.
Match - Predicates along with Keywords & Phrases.

"Can you do it now?"
Test past memories.
Fill Convincer.

Future Pace:
•
•

Test future memories.
Satisfy Reassurance Strategy.


33

NLP In Relationships
Together:
a)

Elicit - Negative Anchors.

b)

Elicit - Strategies:
•
•
•
•

c)

Attraction.
Recognizing Attraction.
Deep Love.
Convincer.

Elicit Relationship Values.

Separately:
a)Collapse Negative Anchors.
b)Sub modalities.
c)Parts.
d)Time Line Therapy®.
e)Reframing.

Together:
Teach the couple to:
a)Utilize each other's Strategies.
b)Satisfy each other's Values.
c)Create Positive Anchors and avoid creating Negative Anchors.


34

Recommended Reading
There are over 500 books written on NLP. Here are just three that
we find particularly useful for people starting off.

The NLP Workbook, Joseph O’Connor
Presenting Magically, David Shephard & Tad James
Time Line Therapy & The Basis Of Personality, Tad James & Wyatt
Woodsmall


35

NLP Master Practitioner, Selling with NLP, Presenting with NLP…
Why not ﬁnd out more about how Gerry Murray and Bryce Redford can help you?
Follow the “Thinking Differently” blog at www.ThinkingDifferently.eu
or on Twitter at http://twitter.com/gerrymurray
email: takethatstep@gerrymurray.com
54 - 56 rue de la Montagne, 1000 Brussels, Belgium
T: +32 476 417 606

www.gerrymurray.com

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