communication

11. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND 1. RESTATE/REPEAT 2. PARAPHRASE 3. REFLECT FEELING 4. PARAPHRASE CONTENT AND REFLECT FEELING 5. SAY NOTHING

12. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND Before I can walk in another person’s shoes, I must remove my own. Unknown

13. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND ASSUMES WIN-WIN 1. ASK PERMISSION 2. ESTIMTE TIME LIMIT 3. STATE BOUNDARIES STATE WHAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE 4. USE RESPECT, GENTLENESS 5. USE COURAGE

14. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND ASSUMES WIN-WIN RESPECT COURAGE LOW HIGH LOW HIGH X

22. Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule 1. Stop talking You cannot listen if you are talking. 2. Put the person at ease Help a person feel free to talk; create a permissive environment. 3. Show the person you Look and act interested; listen to want to listen understand, not to oppose. 4.Remove distractions Don’t doodle, tap, or shuffle papers; shut the door if necessary to achieve quiet.

23. Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule 5. Empathize Try to see the other person’s point of view. 6. Be patient Allow plenty of time; do not interrupt; don’t start for the door or walk away. 7. Hold your temper An angry person takes the wrong meaning from words.

24. Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule Listening Reasoning Behind the Rule 8.Go easy on argument Don’t put people on the defensive and criticism and cause them to “clam up” or become angry; do not argue- even if you win, you lose. 9. Ask questions This encourages a person and shows that you are listening; it helps to develop points further. 10. Stop talking This is first and last, because all other guides depend on it; you cannot listen effectively while you are talking. Source: Adapted from Human Behavior at Work , Fifth Edition, by Keith Davis. 1977.

25. KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF SUPPORTIVE COMMUNICATION 1.Channels Congruent. Incongruent. “Oh, do I Verbal and non-verbal seem upset? No, everything channels must agree. is fine” - while obviously upset. 2.Descriptive. “This is what Evaluative. “You are happened and this is how I wrong for doing what you felt about it. I’d like to suggest did.” an alternative that would be more acceptable. 3.Problem oriented. “How Person oriented. “Why can we solve this problem?” are you so slow?”

26. KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF SUPPORTIVE COMMUNICATION 4.Specific. “I felt like I did not Global. “You are always get equal time to cover my seeking all the recognition material in that presentation.” for our work.” 5.Owned. “I have decided Not owned. “You have a to turn down your request pretty good idea, but you because…” know how it is in this organization -- everyone can’t get everything they want.” 6.Validating. “That is an Not validating. “I can’t interesting suggestion.” believe you could think such a thing.”

27. KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF SUPPORTIVE COMMUNICATION 7.Equality oriented. “I have Superiority oriented. some ideas, but do you have “Your suggestion is dumb. any suggestions?” This is the way to handle this problem.” 8.Flexible. “I have some Closed-minded. “What- questions, but let’s explore ever made you think that it further.” would work?” 9.Appropriately intimate. Overbearing or aloof. “ Since we have known each “I know we just met, but I other a long time, I’d like really need to tell you to tell you how I feel about something personal.” our relationship.”

31. COMMUNICATION NETWORKS SIMPLE TASKS COMPLEX TASKS SLOW LESS ACCURATE FASTER MORE ACCURATE CIRCLE ALL CHANNEL Y WHEEL STAR Y WHEEL STAR CIRCLE ALL CHANNEL