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Compliancy, Why Me? Living with the Compliance Staff,  a BSOFH Guide Michael Smith
Who is Michael Smith? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Compliance is the arsenic and cyanide of the information security world! Source: Wikimedia Commons
Since it’s Election Week ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
But First, a Dramatization… Hi, I’m from the Compliance Team, I’m here to help!
But First, a Dramatization… And the Security Engineering Team is glad to have you here!
But First, a Dramatization… Here’s a report for you too look at on our current compliance status.
But First, a Dramatization… Wow, it’s big.
But First, a Dramatization… Your project is out of compliance with Section 15 of the FROBITZ Act of 1994.  This is troublesome!
But First, a Dramatization… First of all, what the hell does that mean?  And secondly…why should I care?
But First, a Dramatization… It means you have to fix it.
But First, a Dramatization… I can't do it—the YoyoDyne Frobulator is the only product that fits our needs.
But First, a Dramatization… But the rulebook says...
But First, a Dramatization… I’m not going to do it.  Besides, the rulebook was made by a bunch of old men who have no idea what technology is.
But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a rogue cowboy
But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a wannnabe data center lawyer.
But First, a Dramatization… This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now. This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now.
Questions ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
With compliance, you can  strong-arm people into doing your bidding. Source: Wikimedia Commons
The Problems with Compliance ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
My View of the World* ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],*There will be a test later on this.
The Gap in the Security Workforce ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],$8B Question: How do we bridge this gap?
Professor Rybolov Says ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Phrase of the Minute ,[object Object]
Phrase of the Hour ,[object Object]
Phrase of the Day ,[object Object]
Phrase of the Week ,[object Object]
Phrase of the Month ,[object Object]
Phrase of the Year ,[object Object],*There will be a test later on this.
Regulatory Capture Examples ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
And a Quote for Free ,[object Object],[object Object]
Source: Wikimedia Commons So there isn’t any magic where we become ultra-compliant?
Compliance Exercise: Requirement ,[object Object],[object Object],Source: SP 800-53
Compliance Exercise: BSOFH Answer ,[object Object]
WTF People? ,[object Object]
Rybolov’s Law ,[object Object]
Compliance Truthiness ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
And More Importantly ,[object Object]
The more non-compliant you are, the more we can forgive you for! Source: Wikimedia Commons
Revisiting an Issue ,[object Object]
What my First Sergeant Told Me ,[object Object]
UR Doing it Wrong ,[object Object],[object Object]
Protip: Self-Regulation is the Shizzle! ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Remember This One? ,[object Object]
The Road Ahead ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Source: Wikimedia Commons Compliancy: it’s not so bad after all as long as you’re driving the oxcart!
[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

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Dojo Con 09

  • 1. Compliancy, Why Me? Living with the Compliance Staff, a BSOFH Guide Michael Smith
  • 2.
  • 3. Compliance is the arsenic and cyanide of the information security world! Source: Wikimedia Commons
  • 4.
  • 5. But First, a Dramatization… Hi, I’m from the Compliance Team, I’m here to help!
  • 6. But First, a Dramatization… And the Security Engineering Team is glad to have you here!
  • 7. But First, a Dramatization… Here’s a report for you too look at on our current compliance status.
  • 8. But First, a Dramatization… Wow, it’s big.
  • 9. But First, a Dramatization… Your project is out of compliance with Section 15 of the FROBITZ Act of 1994. This is troublesome!
  • 10. But First, a Dramatization… First of all, what the hell does that mean? And secondly…why should I care?
  • 11. But First, a Dramatization… It means you have to fix it.
  • 12. But First, a Dramatization… I can't do it—the YoyoDyne Frobulator is the only product that fits our needs.
  • 13. But First, a Dramatization… But the rulebook says...
  • 14. But First, a Dramatization… I’m not going to do it. Besides, the rulebook was made by a bunch of old men who have no idea what technology is.
  • 15. But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a rogue cowboy
  • 16. But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a wannnabe data center lawyer.
  • 17. But First, a Dramatization… This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now. This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now.
  • 18.
  • 19. With compliance, you can strong-arm people into doing your bidding. Source: Wikimedia Commons
  • 20.
  • 21.
  • 22.
  • 23.
  • 24.
  • 25.
  • 26.
  • 27.
  • 28.
  • 29.
  • 30.
  • 31.
  • 32. Source: Wikimedia Commons So there isn’t any magic where we become ultra-compliant?
  • 33.
  • 34.
  • 35.
  • 36.
  • 37.
  • 38.
  • 39. The more non-compliant you are, the more we can forgive you for! Source: Wikimedia Commons
  • 40.
  • 41.
  • 42.
  • 43.
  • 44.
  • 45.
  • 46. Source: Wikimedia Commons Compliancy: it’s not so bad after all as long as you’re driving the oxcart!
  • 47.

Notas do Editor

  1. The following presentation contains insights and opinions gathered from over 15 years of combined experience in the government INFOSEC space. It’s interspersed with some humor – security presentations can be pretty dry without it. We hope that this presentation will provide you with the impetus to reemphasize security within your organization, and feel good about doing so. The subtitle means “Automatic, Practical, Good!” and is a play on the Ritter Sport tagline “Quadratisch, Praktish, Gut!” which translates as “Square, Practical, Good!” http://www.ritter-sport.de/
  2. Mike’s blog is at http://www.guerilla-ciso.com/ Mike teaches for Potomac Forum http://www.potomacforum.org/ Contact information for Mike is at the end of this presentation.
  3. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  4. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  5. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  6. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  7. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  8. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  9. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  10. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  11. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  12. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  13. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  14. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  15. Artwork by Melanie Smith
  16. If you would like us to speak for your event or group, please ask. If you would like to learn more and to keep up-to-date on groundbreaking Government security news, subscribe to the guerilla-ciso blog feed. Presentation released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License. More information available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/