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Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance
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Making earth little softer
About us
Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance (EFG) has uploaded following
presentations at http://myefg.in/downloads.aspx
Be mentor use your education, knowledge & experience to
contribute for a social cause & do conduct free training seeking
help of existing platforms. Kindly share with your friends
•Motivation for higher study, Planning for study, Education
guidance, Career guidance, Career available after SSC & HSC
•Personality development – 3 files
•How to prepare resume, Tips to attend interview successfully
•Religion related –To understand basic religion, Do & Don’t tips
•Health related - Be vegetarian, Be healthy, Manage health
•Corporate - Project management, Assertiveness, Ownership,
Effective communication, Leadership, Be entrepreneur
•Finance - To avoid speculation in stock market
•Social - Women empowerment, Choosing life partner, conflict
resolution, stop ragging, stop alcohol, snakebite treatment
Making earth little softer
Index
• Value of a person
• Culture & its elements
• Religion
• Food habits

•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

Women abuse
Marriage related issues
Expensive marriage
Inter-caste marriage
Disengagement
Divorce
Single family
Successful marriage
Religion & rites
Commitment & Oath
Making earth little softer
Value of a person
The value of person depends upon
• Skills attained
• Knowledge acquired
• Money earned
• Assets build
• Good deeds executed
• Relations maintained
• Love spread
• Culture demonstrated and
• Behavior exhibited!

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What is culture?
• The word culture, meaning "to cultivate―.
• Culture: The complex whole which includes
mind, style, norms of behavior, behavior, codes
of manners, language, religion, dress, rituals,
way of business, systems of belief, knowledge,
belief, attitude, art, morals, law, custom, and any
other capabilities and habits acquired by a
member of society
• Culture - "the way of life for an entire society.―

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What is culture?
• A common way of understanding culture is to
see it as consisting of four elements that are
"passed on from generation to generation by
learning alone―
• Values guide about what in life seems important
• Norms consist of expectations of how people
will behave in various situations.
• Institutions are the structures of a society within
which values and norms are transmitted.
• Artifacts—things, or aspects of material culture
derive from a culture's values and norms
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What is culture?

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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
What is Culture?
• Culture is
the way of
life of a
group of
people.

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Elements
Language
Entertainment

Shelter

Government
Laws

Clothing

Climate

Economy

Values

Religion
Education
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Elements
Nations
Generation

States

Religion

Urban
& Rural

Work

Families

Social

Organisations
Individuals
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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Religion

- a system of beliefs that goes beyond
human powers
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Food habits
Vegetarian
•Rice, Wheat, Cereals
•Vegetables & curry
Non-Vegetarian
•Seafood
•Meat-however, cows are considered sacred by
Hindus, many of whom are vegetarian
Other
•Masala-spices
•Tea-common drink

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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Women abuse
•Observations – Ridiculously higher rise in
women abuse & rape at home, road, travel &
work places
•Impact –
•Deterioration of dignity of society and nation
•Miserable lives of victim & family members
after the event
•Painful, unstable and panic lives of the victim
and family members
•Disturbed social environment

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Women abuse – Root causes
•Pathetic & poor economical situation
•Men have earned huge money due to
exponential economical growth, got them muscle
power, ego & arrogance
•Higher education leads to career orientation
leads to relatively higher exposure & freedom
•Tendency of showiness, dressing style exposing
women body, has increased
•Negative & sexy image of women as an object
projected on media
•Ignorance of parents
•Lack of education & guidance to children
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Women abuse
•Immediate & essential actions
•Stringent laws & strict Implementation
•Quick justice
•Stricter censorship, to be extraordinary
cautious about image being projected
•Social pressure, better dressing style
•Spreading education, awareness, spirituality &
religious values, enhancing political will
•Legal & protected prostitution
•Ownership & responsibilities of security
•Awareness of abilities & ambitions
•Use of technologies for alerts & avoiding event
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Women abuse - Dressing

Making earth little softer
Women abuse – better dressing

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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Marriage related issues
Expensive

• Dowry
• Showbiz

Inter-caste

• Similar culture, say Veg
• Outside the culture, say
non-Jains

Disengagement

• Disengagement prior
marriage
• Divorce

Single family

• Parental support
• Support to parents
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Expensive marriage
•Observations – Expenses during marriages have
gone up multifold due to lavish celebrations
•Also huge dowry being demanded
•Harassment to bride if expectations of huge
dowry, lavish marriage & others are not fulfilled
•Impact –
•Middle
class
&
poor
families
face
embarrassment & exploitation
•Compatible match is often missed
•Ego within family members due to richness
•Poor people think girl child as a curse
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Expensive marriage
•Root causes –
•Simple
living-High
thinking
concept
demolishing quickly
•People have earned huge money due to
exponential economical growth, thus ego &
arrogance have increased multifold
•Expensive marriage mean status symbol
•Change from saving to purchasing economy
•Tendency of showiness, greed for name, fame
& recognition has increased
•Huge capital investments so expectation of
settlement (flat, car, etc)
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Expensive marriage
Immediate & essential steps
•Educate - Simple celebration movement
•Encourage simplicity however everlasting
marriages
•Depict the importance of savings
•Monks & leaders to guide society effectively
•Leaders to set the examples of simplicity

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Expensive & simple marriage

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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Inter-caste marriage
Observations – Extremely serious trend about
rise in inter-caste marriages is observed
Impact –
•Change of culture for current and next
generation, mainly religion from Jain to non-Jain,
& food habit of Vegetarian to non-vegetarian
•Less probability of successful & sustainable
marriage
•Failed marriage results in
•Widely disturbed family stability & happiness
•No ownership of children
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Inter-caste marriage – Root causes
•Higher education leading to career orientation &
exposure to industry, closeness with gender of
opposite sex, working & on road at late hours
•Self independent, freedom of thoughts & act
•Lack of understanding of values & rites of
Jainism
•Temptation, curiosity, attraction & anticipation of
better culture
•Lack of deep thinking about repercussion due to
change of culture
•Wanting to settle in metros
•Excessive mobile use, late arrival at home, etc
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Inter-caste marriage
Immediate & essential steps
•Aggressive movement through education
•Serious impacts of cross culture on current &
future generations
•Mainly
on
religious
matters,
food
habits, upbringing, values & rites and living
style
•Lack of participation in various social functions
due to heterogeneous cross relationships
•Improved upbringing, values, religious & spiritual
rites at home
•Convincing equally happy life at Non-Metro cities
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Disengagement
Observations
•Steeper
rise
in
disengagement
after
engagement ceremony, prior to marriage
Impact
•Delay of marriages of both bride & groom later
•Social insult even if no mistake
•Disturbed families
•One suffers at no mistake of other

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Disengagement – Root causes
Lack of following between parents and children
• Affirmative & assertive effective communication
• Trust & transparency
Mature way of communication, unreasonable
demand and mishandling of the situation
Exposure of true however hidden situation
Undermined or over spelled expectations
Lack
of
early
day
phenomenon
of
references, ownership & trust
Pressure & hurry while finalising the marriage
Immature communication between bride & groom
Upbringing, cultivating values, rites & spirituality
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Disengagement
Immediate & essential steps
Encourage dialogue between parent & children
•Expectations about life partner & consensus
•Explanation & agreement over methodology
•Discussions over Dos and Don’ts
•Sharing good & bad case studies

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Divorce
• Divorce or the dissolution of marriage is the final
termination of a marital union, canceling the
legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and
dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the
partners!
• As of 2011, divorce rate in India is 1.01 for every
thousand marriages annually, is too high

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Divorce
Observations
•Day by day ridiculously increasing higher rate of
divorce
Impact
•Disturbed families
•Disturbed lives of husband, wife, and children
•Complex social and economical matters

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Divorce – Root causes
• Non-compatibility
• Quick and/or forced decision during marriage
• Era of higher education, career orientation, economic
development, independence and women empowerment
• Mismatch
of
priorities,
bringing
up
the
children, execution methodologies
• Too much parental interference
• Lack of or reducing social pressure
• Lack of understanding, Methodologies differs
• Missing on Loving, Caring, Sharing, Giving
• Different values
• Own world – Ignoring & not sharing time
• Lack of approval from family (for love marriage)
• Above results in Disregard & Distrust, cycle continues

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Divorce
Immediate & essential steps
•Counseling centers
•Education & awareness
•Religious & spiritual spreading, increasing
patience
•Training to weight results of fight & compromise
•Sharing
case
study
of
sacrifices, respect, compromises, and benefits of
successful marriages

Making earth little softer
Reasons
Category

Reason

Social

Dowry harassment, Exploitation, Conservative approach
Unbearable mental and physical torture
Acceptance of divorced daughters, Change of views
DINKS (double income no kids) couples
Downfall of Joint family system
Misunderstanding of Woman empowerment & equality

Personality

Non compatibility in social, economical, intellect status
Lack of adaptability, lack of patience
Domination, egoistic nature, Listen – serve to me attitude
Extramarital affairs, Western culture influence

Finance

Ability to be on own, Financial freedom
Growth of individualism, High salaries
Disputes over managing finance, I can do it better attitude

Professional

Work-life imbalance, Professional rivalry

Behavior

Lack of ethics and morals, Fashionable life style
Lack of affection, Ignorance, Insulting, Disrespect
Making earth little softer
Before marriage
• We hide the things……
• We ignore……
• We mislabel……
• We agree on irrelevant matters…
• We believe our loved one will change after
marriage

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Voice before & after
• ―You are just made for me‖
• ―You aren’t the man/woman I married‖.

• ―I want you to be my partner for all the births‖
• ―You seem different now‖.
• ―I am so lucky, feel like in heaven‖
• ―It isn’t the same as when we were dating‖.
• ―I trust you‖
• ―You cheated me‖.
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Incompatibility & reasons
• Intellectual gap
• Physical, age-wise, health related, sex related
• Comfort, Fun, Materialistic, Financial instability
• Spiritual differences
• Social life style
• Ego
• Missing on expectations
• Ability not to accommodate varieties
• Methodology differs slightly
• Twisted & distorted facts or inputs
• Wrong impression / prejudice
• Expectations to be ideal!
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Avoid divorce
To avoid
• Unhealthy life, psychological madness
• Loneliness & unhappiness
• Social insult over ability to manage
• Lesser combined income
• Risk of suicide for both & children
• Shorter life expectancies
• For children
• Suffer physical health
• Risk of school failure
• Psychological distress & mental illness
• Miss on guidance & developing
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First hand solution
• Think strategically about solution
• Communicate & have a dialogue
• Discuss, don’t quarrel
• Clarify & Apologize if mistaken
• Start clean slate & fresh
• Enhance understanding
• Set the guidelines if needed
• Understand before being understood
• Avoid to be misunderstood, make a point
• Do not involve many
• Acknowledge and respect individual identity
• Avoid compromised & confused situation
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First hand solution
• Be ―REAL‖ & realistic
• Plan for outing
• Enhance listening abilities
• Express issues, wish and needs honestly
• Understand viewpoints sincerely
• Respect one another as peers & friends
• Constructive resolutions build trust, follow those
• Maintain a diary jotting down own mistakes

Making earth little softer
Fight but marriage under hold
• Unable to articulate all issues at one time
• Unable to convince & conclude who is wrong?
• Unable to address ego
• Inability to stand on own
• Social pressure
• Deep responsibility of children & serious views
not to ruin their lives
• Unclear answer to What next?
• If views till in favor to continue, not to cut thread
• Compromising nature & patience
• Hope is the strategy!!! (cannot be!)
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Tips
• Never try to straighten dog’s tail
• Do not hit head against wall
• Weight the event…would you remember after
what duration? A day..a week..a month or never
• Know.....who matters
• Acknowledgement is 1st step of improvement
• Keep cool & calm, grow and behave!

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Accept totally
• Lifetime to know each other
• People do not really know each other well
• Continue applying corrections & keep aligning
• Be flexible – unforeseen events will happen.
• Be
prepared
for
change
–
people
change, situations shift, relationships take on
new dimensions, Couples can cope & adapt
• Have a positive attitude.
• Express positive comments most of the time.
• Criticism
about
inadequacies
eliminates
emotional space.
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Key element
• Commitment as a symbol, not as a contract
• Equal focus on win-win, always!
• Trust
which
offers
closeness,
fluent
communication & synergistic relationship
• Mutual goals & objectives can be achieved with
deep support
• Continuous improve
• Timely communication & responsiveness
• Involvement of partners with each other , trust &
respect for each other, must be magnified
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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Single family
Observations
•Most of the couples want to stay separate to
their parents
•Bride keeps enquiring ―how many dust bins do
you have at home?‖ (referring to old people)
Impact
•Next generation missing great upbringing by
grand parents, depicting values, spiritual &
religious rites, and inculcating regular study
•Learning of tasty recipes from mother-in-law and
kitchen related activities
•Helpless & unattended parents
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Single family
Root causes
•Selfishness of current generation
•Interference by parents, not guidance
•Non-supporting in-laws
•Ego & non-understanding
•Generation gap
•Phobia of privacy
•Economical independent parents

Making earth little softer
Single family
Immediate & essential steps
Spreading awareness of benefits of joint families
•Transfer of knowledge & experience
•Availability of guidance and second view
•Upbringing of next generation
•Deep love, affection bring happiness, cultured
environment of respect and dignity
•Availability of expertise
•Being social, not lonely

Making earth little softer
38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Partnering
Caring
Loving
Environment
Culture
Trust
Honesty

Sharing
Way of life
Methodologies
Partnering
People
Families

Respect
Dignity

Transparency
Making earth little softer
Successful marriage
Reasons for successful marriage
• Common skills
• Good emotional & physical health
• High self esteem
• High education level
• High social status
• Pressure from society & kids

Making earth little softer
Gain from successful marriage
• Long term relationship & stability
• Better ritual culture due to common & deep
understanding, supportive for next generation
• Improved family relationship
• Increased ownership, higher commitments
• Feeling of proud of relationship
• Feel of satisfaction & delight from peaceful &
happy environment
• Financially wealthy & successful
• Active participation for function & celebration
• Increased morale & no conflicts
Making earth little softer
What keeps it ON
• Trust, Communication, Intimacy, Sense of
humor, Sharing tasks, a sense of belonging
• Daily
exchanges
(meal,
shared
activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc)
• Sharing common goals and interests
• Giving space to grow without feeling insecure
• Assurances of commitment
• Concern and care
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode
as
resentment
withdrawal,
abuse,
neglect,
and
dishonesty, replacing by pain!
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Happily married life
• Bargaining – compromise with respect & dignity
(deal for both, remember marriage is not a deal!)
• Agreement as a gift (without resentment)
• Coexistence – Agree (to disagree & live with it)
The object of marriage = peaceful coexistence
• Be totally honest and kind at the same time.
• Control negative destructive impulses
• Control your anger
• Express your deepest fears, hopes, and
emotions and everyday thoughts
• Giving, sharing, loving & caring
Making earth little softer
Unhappily families
Observations
• Most of the families are unhappy
• Main reason being dispute, disagreements and
conflict between parent-children, husband-wife
and in-laws
• Issues are social, economical, generation
gap, way of living life, freedom, privacy, etc
Impacts
• Unhappy life of individuals and thus of society
• Poor upbringing of next generation
• Restlessness in society
• Compromises in living style
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Unhappily families
Root causes
• Lack of social, spirituality & religious rites &
upbringing, lack of patience & society pressure
• Enough money to be independent
Child-Parent
• Phobia of privacy, impact of western culture
• Deep wish of new generation being independent
• Generation gap being conservative versus
young generation wanting to do different
• Mistrust over ability of young generation
Husband-wife
• Parental support to girls to be independent
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Unhappily families
Solutions
• Education, at school and at home..upbringing,
spiritual and religious rites
• Enhancing ability of understanding & conflict
resolution
• Understanding advantages of staying together
• Sharing of knowledge & experiences
• Security
• Upbringing of next generation
• Emotional attitude and respect
• Gratitude
Making earth little softer
38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture
Summary-18 Sins

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Summary-18 Sins

Making earth little softer
Summary – 9 Holy points

Making earth little softer
Summary – 9 Holy points

Making earth little softer
Serious issues

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Serious issues
Observation
•Following hobbies and later turning to be habits,
are being cultivated and rising at tremendous
rate among youngsters & professionals
•It is spreading across India including even small
towns, not just city areas like early days
Impact
•All these bad habits damage health terribly
•Social health is too deteriorating
•Its heavy & continuous expense
•Next generation will completely be spoiled
•Tension, instability of family members
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Serious issues
Root causes
• In-appropriate sources of earning huge money
• Company one needs to keep for such business
• Greed for name, fame, power & money
• Curiosity, peer pressure and temptation
• Lack of assertiveness & affirmativeness
Immediate & essential steps
• Education & awareness
• Spiritual & religious rites
• Sharing inspirational stories
• Sharing disadvantages of bad company
• Watchdog and pressure from family members
Making earth little softer
Stop eating Non-veg food
• 24% of global warming due to gas emission
• 760 million tons of grain fed to animals PA
• 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef
• Animal products has harmful saturated fat
• Animal disease transmission due to proximity or
consumption
• Cholesterol in non-veg causes heart disease
• Non-lean red meat increases risk of cancers of
the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon
• Too much protein stresses liver & kidneys
• Bacterial infection (Bird Flu , mad cow disease)
• To produce 1 kg beef 12009Gal water is needed
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Stop Smoking

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Stop Alcohol
There are effects almost on every
organ of the body
Brain damage
Stoke
Blurred vision
Slurred speech
Bleeding throat
Breathing may stop
Heart disease
Liver diseasecirrhosis

Stomach ulcers
Irregular beat
Muscle weakness
Intestinal ulcers
Infertility
Liver failure
Osteoporosis
Obesity – weight
gain
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Alcohol-Consequences

Vomiting

Driving accidents

Headache

Hangover

Imbalance

Fighting

Loss of inhibitions

Loss of control

Swing - Loss of control
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Commitment & Oath
I commit to myself
• Will follow the highest standards of honesty,
integrity, personal conduct and ethical values
• Will deal with all stake holders in honest,
courteous, respectful and polite manner showing
respect
• Will respect to cultural values & rites
• Will not share false or misleading information
• Will not engage in wrongful deeds & practices,
which corrupt the industries I serve, or damage
the business community or society I live
• And finally will take responsibility for my actions
Making earth little softer
Thank You

Making earth little softer

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38 earthsoft-deteriorating-culture

  • 1. Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance Edge-Aggressive-Reliable-Trust-Honesty-Soft-Obedient-Fun-Transparent Making earth little softer
  • 2. About us Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance (EFG) has uploaded following presentations at http://myefg.in/downloads.aspx Be mentor use your education, knowledge & experience to contribute for a social cause & do conduct free training seeking help of existing platforms. Kindly share with your friends •Motivation for higher study, Planning for study, Education guidance, Career guidance, Career available after SSC & HSC •Personality development – 3 files •How to prepare resume, Tips to attend interview successfully •Religion related –To understand basic religion, Do & Don’t tips •Health related - Be vegetarian, Be healthy, Manage health •Corporate - Project management, Assertiveness, Ownership, Effective communication, Leadership, Be entrepreneur •Finance - To avoid speculation in stock market •Social - Women empowerment, Choosing life partner, conflict resolution, stop ragging, stop alcohol, snakebite treatment Making earth little softer
  • 3. Index • Value of a person • Culture & its elements • Religion • Food habits • • • • • • • • • • Women abuse Marriage related issues Expensive marriage Inter-caste marriage Disengagement Divorce Single family Successful marriage Religion & rites Commitment & Oath Making earth little softer
  • 4. Value of a person The value of person depends upon • Skills attained • Knowledge acquired • Money earned • Assets build • Good deeds executed • Relations maintained • Love spread • Culture demonstrated and • Behavior exhibited! Making earth little softer
  • 5. What is culture? • The word culture, meaning "to cultivate―. • Culture: The complex whole which includes mind, style, norms of behavior, behavior, codes of manners, language, religion, dress, rituals, way of business, systems of belief, knowledge, belief, attitude, art, morals, law, custom, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by a member of society • Culture - "the way of life for an entire society.― Making earth little softer
  • 6. What is culture? • A common way of understanding culture is to see it as consisting of four elements that are "passed on from generation to generation by learning alone― • Values guide about what in life seems important • Norms consist of expectations of how people will behave in various situations. • Institutions are the structures of a society within which values and norms are transmitted. • Artifacts—things, or aspects of material culture derive from a culture's values and norms Making earth little softer
  • 7. What is culture? Making earth little softer
  • 9. What is Culture? • Culture is the way of life of a group of people. Making earth little softer
  • 13. Religion - a system of beliefs that goes beyond human powers Making earth little softer
  • 14. Food habits Vegetarian •Rice, Wheat, Cereals •Vegetables & curry Non-Vegetarian •Seafood •Meat-however, cows are considered sacred by Hindus, many of whom are vegetarian Other •Masala-spices •Tea-common drink Making earth little softer
  • 16. Women abuse •Observations – Ridiculously higher rise in women abuse & rape at home, road, travel & work places •Impact – •Deterioration of dignity of society and nation •Miserable lives of victim & family members after the event •Painful, unstable and panic lives of the victim and family members •Disturbed social environment Making earth little softer
  • 17. Women abuse – Root causes •Pathetic & poor economical situation •Men have earned huge money due to exponential economical growth, got them muscle power, ego & arrogance •Higher education leads to career orientation leads to relatively higher exposure & freedom •Tendency of showiness, dressing style exposing women body, has increased •Negative & sexy image of women as an object projected on media •Ignorance of parents •Lack of education & guidance to children Making earth little softer
  • 18. Women abuse •Immediate & essential actions •Stringent laws & strict Implementation •Quick justice •Stricter censorship, to be extraordinary cautious about image being projected •Social pressure, better dressing style •Spreading education, awareness, spirituality & religious values, enhancing political will •Legal & protected prostitution •Ownership & responsibilities of security •Awareness of abilities & ambitions •Use of technologies for alerts & avoiding event Making earth little softer
  • 19. Women abuse - Dressing Making earth little softer
  • 20. Women abuse – better dressing Making earth little softer
  • 22. Marriage related issues Expensive • Dowry • Showbiz Inter-caste • Similar culture, say Veg • Outside the culture, say non-Jains Disengagement • Disengagement prior marriage • Divorce Single family • Parental support • Support to parents Making earth little softer
  • 23. Expensive marriage •Observations – Expenses during marriages have gone up multifold due to lavish celebrations •Also huge dowry being demanded •Harassment to bride if expectations of huge dowry, lavish marriage & others are not fulfilled •Impact – •Middle class & poor families face embarrassment & exploitation •Compatible match is often missed •Ego within family members due to richness •Poor people think girl child as a curse Making earth little softer
  • 24. Expensive marriage •Root causes – •Simple living-High thinking concept demolishing quickly •People have earned huge money due to exponential economical growth, thus ego & arrogance have increased multifold •Expensive marriage mean status symbol •Change from saving to purchasing economy •Tendency of showiness, greed for name, fame & recognition has increased •Huge capital investments so expectation of settlement (flat, car, etc) Making earth little softer
  • 25. Expensive marriage Immediate & essential steps •Educate - Simple celebration movement •Encourage simplicity however everlasting marriages •Depict the importance of savings •Monks & leaders to guide society effectively •Leaders to set the examples of simplicity Making earth little softer
  • 26. Expensive & simple marriage Making earth little softer
  • 28. Inter-caste marriage Observations – Extremely serious trend about rise in inter-caste marriages is observed Impact – •Change of culture for current and next generation, mainly religion from Jain to non-Jain, & food habit of Vegetarian to non-vegetarian •Less probability of successful & sustainable marriage •Failed marriage results in •Widely disturbed family stability & happiness •No ownership of children Making earth little softer
  • 29. Inter-caste marriage – Root causes •Higher education leading to career orientation & exposure to industry, closeness with gender of opposite sex, working & on road at late hours •Self independent, freedom of thoughts & act •Lack of understanding of values & rites of Jainism •Temptation, curiosity, attraction & anticipation of better culture •Lack of deep thinking about repercussion due to change of culture •Wanting to settle in metros •Excessive mobile use, late arrival at home, etc Making earth little softer
  • 30. Inter-caste marriage Immediate & essential steps •Aggressive movement through education •Serious impacts of cross culture on current & future generations •Mainly on religious matters, food habits, upbringing, values & rites and living style •Lack of participation in various social functions due to heterogeneous cross relationships •Improved upbringing, values, religious & spiritual rites at home •Convincing equally happy life at Non-Metro cities Making earth little softer
  • 31. Disengagement Observations •Steeper rise in disengagement after engagement ceremony, prior to marriage Impact •Delay of marriages of both bride & groom later •Social insult even if no mistake •Disturbed families •One suffers at no mistake of other Making earth little softer
  • 32. Disengagement – Root causes Lack of following between parents and children • Affirmative & assertive effective communication • Trust & transparency Mature way of communication, unreasonable demand and mishandling of the situation Exposure of true however hidden situation Undermined or over spelled expectations Lack of early day phenomenon of references, ownership & trust Pressure & hurry while finalising the marriage Immature communication between bride & groom Upbringing, cultivating values, rites & spirituality Making earth little softer
  • 33. Disengagement Immediate & essential steps Encourage dialogue between parent & children •Expectations about life partner & consensus •Explanation & agreement over methodology •Discussions over Dos and Don’ts •Sharing good & bad case studies Making earth little softer
  • 34. Divorce • Divorce or the dissolution of marriage is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the partners! • As of 2011, divorce rate in India is 1.01 for every thousand marriages annually, is too high Making earth little softer
  • 35. Divorce Observations •Day by day ridiculously increasing higher rate of divorce Impact •Disturbed families •Disturbed lives of husband, wife, and children •Complex social and economical matters Making earth little softer
  • 36. Divorce – Root causes • Non-compatibility • Quick and/or forced decision during marriage • Era of higher education, career orientation, economic development, independence and women empowerment • Mismatch of priorities, bringing up the children, execution methodologies • Too much parental interference • Lack of or reducing social pressure • Lack of understanding, Methodologies differs • Missing on Loving, Caring, Sharing, Giving • Different values • Own world – Ignoring & not sharing time • Lack of approval from family (for love marriage) • Above results in Disregard & Distrust, cycle continues Making earth little softer
  • 37. Divorce Immediate & essential steps •Counseling centers •Education & awareness •Religious & spiritual spreading, increasing patience •Training to weight results of fight & compromise •Sharing case study of sacrifices, respect, compromises, and benefits of successful marriages Making earth little softer
  • 38. Reasons Category Reason Social Dowry harassment, Exploitation, Conservative approach Unbearable mental and physical torture Acceptance of divorced daughters, Change of views DINKS (double income no kids) couples Downfall of Joint family system Misunderstanding of Woman empowerment & equality Personality Non compatibility in social, economical, intellect status Lack of adaptability, lack of patience Domination, egoistic nature, Listen – serve to me attitude Extramarital affairs, Western culture influence Finance Ability to be on own, Financial freedom Growth of individualism, High salaries Disputes over managing finance, I can do it better attitude Professional Work-life imbalance, Professional rivalry Behavior Lack of ethics and morals, Fashionable life style Lack of affection, Ignorance, Insulting, Disrespect Making earth little softer
  • 39. Before marriage • We hide the things…… • We ignore…… • We mislabel…… • We agree on irrelevant matters… • We believe our loved one will change after marriage Making earth little softer
  • 40. Voice before & after • ―You are just made for me‖ • ―You aren’t the man/woman I married‖. • ―I want you to be my partner for all the births‖ • ―You seem different now‖. • ―I am so lucky, feel like in heaven‖ • ―It isn’t the same as when we were dating‖. • ―I trust you‖ • ―You cheated me‖. Making earth little softer
  • 41. Incompatibility & reasons • Intellectual gap • Physical, age-wise, health related, sex related • Comfort, Fun, Materialistic, Financial instability • Spiritual differences • Social life style • Ego • Missing on expectations • Ability not to accommodate varieties • Methodology differs slightly • Twisted & distorted facts or inputs • Wrong impression / prejudice • Expectations to be ideal! Making earth little softer
  • 42. Avoid divorce To avoid • Unhealthy life, psychological madness • Loneliness & unhappiness • Social insult over ability to manage • Lesser combined income • Risk of suicide for both & children • Shorter life expectancies • For children • Suffer physical health • Risk of school failure • Psychological distress & mental illness • Miss on guidance & developing Making earth little softer
  • 43. First hand solution • Think strategically about solution • Communicate & have a dialogue • Discuss, don’t quarrel • Clarify & Apologize if mistaken • Start clean slate & fresh • Enhance understanding • Set the guidelines if needed • Understand before being understood • Avoid to be misunderstood, make a point • Do not involve many • Acknowledge and respect individual identity • Avoid compromised & confused situation Making earth little softer
  • 44. First hand solution • Be ―REAL‖ & realistic • Plan for outing • Enhance listening abilities • Express issues, wish and needs honestly • Understand viewpoints sincerely • Respect one another as peers & friends • Constructive resolutions build trust, follow those • Maintain a diary jotting down own mistakes Making earth little softer
  • 45. Fight but marriage under hold • Unable to articulate all issues at one time • Unable to convince & conclude who is wrong? • Unable to address ego • Inability to stand on own • Social pressure • Deep responsibility of children & serious views not to ruin their lives • Unclear answer to What next? • If views till in favor to continue, not to cut thread • Compromising nature & patience • Hope is the strategy!!! (cannot be!) Making earth little softer
  • 46. Tips • Never try to straighten dog’s tail • Do not hit head against wall • Weight the event…would you remember after what duration? A day..a week..a month or never • Know.....who matters • Acknowledgement is 1st step of improvement • Keep cool & calm, grow and behave! Making earth little softer
  • 47. Accept totally • Lifetime to know each other • People do not really know each other well • Continue applying corrections & keep aligning • Be flexible – unforeseen events will happen. • Be prepared for change – people change, situations shift, relationships take on new dimensions, Couples can cope & adapt • Have a positive attitude. • Express positive comments most of the time. • Criticism about inadequacies eliminates emotional space. Making earth little softer
  • 48. Key element • Commitment as a symbol, not as a contract • Equal focus on win-win, always! • Trust which offers closeness, fluent communication & synergistic relationship • Mutual goals & objectives can be achieved with deep support • Continuous improve • Timely communication & responsiveness • Involvement of partners with each other , trust & respect for each other, must be magnified Making earth little softer
  • 50. Single family Observations •Most of the couples want to stay separate to their parents •Bride keeps enquiring ―how many dust bins do you have at home?‖ (referring to old people) Impact •Next generation missing great upbringing by grand parents, depicting values, spiritual & religious rites, and inculcating regular study •Learning of tasty recipes from mother-in-law and kitchen related activities •Helpless & unattended parents Making earth little softer
  • 51. Single family Root causes •Selfishness of current generation •Interference by parents, not guidance •Non-supporting in-laws •Ego & non-understanding •Generation gap •Phobia of privacy •Economical independent parents Making earth little softer
  • 52. Single family Immediate & essential steps Spreading awareness of benefits of joint families •Transfer of knowledge & experience •Availability of guidance and second view •Upbringing of next generation •Deep love, affection bring happiness, cultured environment of respect and dignity •Availability of expertise •Being social, not lonely Making earth little softer
  • 55. Successful marriage Reasons for successful marriage • Common skills • Good emotional & physical health • High self esteem • High education level • High social status • Pressure from society & kids Making earth little softer
  • 56. Gain from successful marriage • Long term relationship & stability • Better ritual culture due to common & deep understanding, supportive for next generation • Improved family relationship • Increased ownership, higher commitments • Feeling of proud of relationship • Feel of satisfaction & delight from peaceful & happy environment • Financially wealthy & successful • Active participation for function & celebration • Increased morale & no conflicts Making earth little softer
  • 57. What keeps it ON • Trust, Communication, Intimacy, Sense of humor, Sharing tasks, a sense of belonging • Daily exchanges (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc) • Sharing common goals and interests • Giving space to grow without feeling insecure • Assurances of commitment • Concern and care If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty, replacing by pain! Making earth little softer
  • 58. Happily married life • Bargaining – compromise with respect & dignity (deal for both, remember marriage is not a deal!) • Agreement as a gift (without resentment) • Coexistence – Agree (to disagree & live with it) The object of marriage = peaceful coexistence • Be totally honest and kind at the same time. • Control negative destructive impulses • Control your anger • Express your deepest fears, hopes, and emotions and everyday thoughts • Giving, sharing, loving & caring Making earth little softer
  • 59. Unhappily families Observations • Most of the families are unhappy • Main reason being dispute, disagreements and conflict between parent-children, husband-wife and in-laws • Issues are social, economical, generation gap, way of living life, freedom, privacy, etc Impacts • Unhappy life of individuals and thus of society • Poor upbringing of next generation • Restlessness in society • Compromises in living style Making earth little softer
  • 60. Unhappily families Root causes • Lack of social, spirituality & religious rites & upbringing, lack of patience & society pressure • Enough money to be independent Child-Parent • Phobia of privacy, impact of western culture • Deep wish of new generation being independent • Generation gap being conservative versus young generation wanting to do different • Mistrust over ability of young generation Husband-wife • Parental support to girls to be independent Making earth little softer
  • 61. Unhappily families Solutions • Education, at school and at home..upbringing, spiritual and religious rites • Enhancing ability of understanding & conflict resolution • Understanding advantages of staying together • Sharing of knowledge & experiences • Security • Upbringing of next generation • Emotional attitude and respect • Gratitude Making earth little softer
  • 65. Summary – 9 Holy points Making earth little softer
  • 66. Summary – 9 Holy points Making earth little softer
  • 68. Serious issues Observation •Following hobbies and later turning to be habits, are being cultivated and rising at tremendous rate among youngsters & professionals •It is spreading across India including even small towns, not just city areas like early days Impact •All these bad habits damage health terribly •Social health is too deteriorating •Its heavy & continuous expense •Next generation will completely be spoiled •Tension, instability of family members Making earth little softer
  • 69. Serious issues Root causes • In-appropriate sources of earning huge money • Company one needs to keep for such business • Greed for name, fame, power & money • Curiosity, peer pressure and temptation • Lack of assertiveness & affirmativeness Immediate & essential steps • Education & awareness • Spiritual & religious rites • Sharing inspirational stories • Sharing disadvantages of bad company • Watchdog and pressure from family members Making earth little softer
  • 70. Stop eating Non-veg food • 24% of global warming due to gas emission • 760 million tons of grain fed to animals PA • 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef • Animal products has harmful saturated fat • Animal disease transmission due to proximity or consumption • Cholesterol in non-veg causes heart disease • Non-lean red meat increases risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon • Too much protein stresses liver & kidneys • Bacterial infection (Bird Flu , mad cow disease) • To produce 1 kg beef 12009Gal water is needed Making earth little softer
  • 71. Stop Smoking Making earth little softer
  • 72. Stop Alcohol There are effects almost on every organ of the body Brain damage Stoke Blurred vision Slurred speech Bleeding throat Breathing may stop Heart disease Liver diseasecirrhosis Stomach ulcers Irregular beat Muscle weakness Intestinal ulcers Infertility Liver failure Osteoporosis Obesity – weight gain Making earth little softer
  • 73. Alcohol-Consequences Vomiting Driving accidents Headache Hangover Imbalance Fighting Loss of inhibitions Loss of control Swing - Loss of control Making earth little softer
  • 74. Commitment & Oath I commit to myself • Will follow the highest standards of honesty, integrity, personal conduct and ethical values • Will deal with all stake holders in honest, courteous, respectful and polite manner showing respect • Will respect to cultural values & rites • Will not share false or misleading information • Will not engage in wrongful deeds & practices, which corrupt the industries I serve, or damage the business community or society I live • And finally will take responsibility for my actions Making earth little softer
  • 75. Thank You Making earth little softer

Notas do Editor

  1. There is nothing better in the world than a good wife. A good wife is the one whose husband becomes glad upon seeing her.
  2. It refers to the universal human capacity to classify & communicate their experiences
  3. Organizational culture is a collection of values, norms, & behavior shared by workers that control the way workers interact with each other.
  4. Loneliness associated with nuclear families
  5. Compassion Integrity Excellence Growth
  6. एक उपहार के रूप में करार (असंतोष के बिना)
  7. If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 2 days per week, it would save the equivalent of almost 73 million return flights from London to Ibiza, Spain (1100 miles) If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 6 days per week, it would create greater carbon savings than removing all the cars off UK roads (29 million cars). Gas Emissions, responsible for 24% of global warming 760 million tons of grain fed to animals every year 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef Following are the reasons to be vegetarian Health Ecological Religious concerns Dislike of meat Compassion for animals Belief in non-violence Economics A healthy vegetarian diet promotes Good health and long life Energy for the young and old Improved immune system Better endurance and athletic performance Weight control Calm and clarity for the mind, High IQ Mild and peaceful temperament The proximity of animals in animal farming leads to an increased rate of disease transmission Meat causes a transmission of diseases from animals to humans Animal products, like red meat has harmful saturated fat Cholesterol in animal foods causes heart disease Non-lean red meat, associated with increased risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon. Diseases Meat products in most countries contain various parasitic diseases (Trichinosis, Hydatids) Bacterial infections are common - Salmonella, Listeria Viral diseases such as Bird flu Prion diseases such as mad cow disease Too much protein in the diet is associated with increased stress on liver and kidneys, risk of gout, leads to excess homocysteine production & blood vessel diseases
  8. If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 2 days per week, it would save the equivalent of almost 73 million return flights from London to Ibiza, Spain (1100 miles) If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 6 days per week, it would create greater carbon savings than removing all the cars off UK roads (29 million cars). Gas Emissions, responsible for 24% of global warming 760 million tons of grain fed to animals every year 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef Following are the reasons to be vegetarian Health Ecological Religious concerns Dislike of meat Compassion for animals Belief in non-violence Economics A healthy vegetarian diet promotes Good health and long life Energy for the young and old Improved immune system Better endurance and athletic performance Weight control Calm and clarity for the mind, High IQ Mild and peaceful temperament The proximity of animals in animal farming leads to an increased rate of disease transmission Meat causes a transmission of diseases from animals to humans Animal products, like red meat has harmful saturated fat Cholesterol in animal foods causes heart disease Non-lean red meat, associated with increased risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon. Diseases Meat products in most countries contain various parasitic diseases (Trichinosis, Hydatids) Bacterial infections are common - Salmonella, Listeria Viral diseases such as Bird flu Prion diseases such as mad cow disease Too much protein in the diet is associated with increased stress on liver and kidneys, risk of gout, leads to excess homocysteine production & blood vessel diseases
  9. If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 2 days per week, it would save the equivalent of almost 73 million return flights from London to Ibiza, Spain (1100 miles) If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 6 days per week, it would create greater carbon savings than removing all the cars off UK roads (29 million cars). Gas Emissions, responsible for 24% of global warming 760 million tons of grain fed to animals every year 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef Following are the reasons to be vegetarian Health Ecological Religious concerns Dislike of meat Compassion for animals Belief in non-violence Economics A healthy vegetarian diet promotes Good health and long life Energy for the young and old Improved immune system Better endurance and athletic performance Weight control Calm and clarity for the mind, High IQ Mild and peaceful temperament The proximity of animals in animal farming leads to an increased rate of disease transmission Meat causes a transmission of diseases from animals to humans Animal products, like red meat has harmful saturated fat Cholesterol in animal foods causes heart disease Non-lean red meat, associated with increased risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon. Diseases Meat products in most countries contain various parasitic diseases (Trichinosis, Hydatids) Bacterial infections are common - Salmonella, Listeria Viral diseases such as Bird flu Prion diseases such as mad cow disease Too much protein in the diet is associated with increased stress on liver and kidneys, risk of gout, leads to excess homocysteine production & blood vessel diseases
  10. If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 2 days per week, it would save the equivalent of almost 73 million return flights from London to Ibiza, Spain (1100 miles) If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 6 days per week, it would create greater carbon savings than removing all the cars off UK roads (29 million cars). Gas Emissions, responsible for 24% of global warming 760 million tons of grain fed to animals every year 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef Following are the reasons to be vegetarian Health Ecological Religious concerns Dislike of meat Compassion for animals Belief in non-violence Economics A healthy vegetarian diet promotes Good health and long life Energy for the young and old Improved immune system Better endurance and athletic performance Weight control Calm and clarity for the mind, High IQ Mild and peaceful temperament The proximity of animals in animal farming leads to an increased rate of disease transmission Meat causes a transmission of diseases from animals to humans Animal products, like red meat has harmful saturated fat Cholesterol in animal foods causes heart disease Non-lean red meat, associated with increased risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon. Diseases Meat products in most countries contain various parasitic diseases (Trichinosis, Hydatids) Bacterial infections are common - Salmonella, Listeria Viral diseases such as Bird flu Prion diseases such as mad cow disease Too much protein in the diet is associated with increased stress on liver and kidneys, risk of gout, leads to excess homocysteine production & blood vessel diseases
  11. If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 2 days per week, it would save the equivalent of almost 73 million return flights from London to Ibiza, Spain (1100 miles) If everybody in the UK ate no meat for 6 days per week, it would create greater carbon savings than removing all the cars off UK roads (29 million cars). Gas Emissions, responsible for 24% of global warming 760 million tons of grain fed to animals every year 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef Following are the reasons to be vegetarian Health Ecological Religious concerns Dislike of meat Compassion for animals Belief in non-violence Economics A healthy vegetarian diet promotes Good health and long life Energy for the young and old Improved immune system Better endurance and athletic performance Weight control Calm and clarity for the mind, High IQ Mild and peaceful temperament The proximity of animals in animal farming leads to an increased rate of disease transmission Meat causes a transmission of diseases from animals to humans Animal products, like red meat has harmful saturated fat Cholesterol in animal foods causes heart disease Non-lean red meat, associated with increased risk of cancers of the lung, oesophagus, liver, and colon. Diseases Meat products in most countries contain various parasitic diseases (Trichinosis, Hydatids) Bacterial infections are common - Salmonella, Listeria Viral diseases such as Bird flu Prion diseases such as mad cow disease Too much protein in the diet is associated with increased stress on liver and kidneys, risk of gout, leads to excess homocysteine production & blood vessel diseases
  12. Osteoporosis  is a disease of bonesthat leads to an increased risk of fracture
  13. Inhibitions - संकोच
  14. Safeguard rights of privacy of present, former, & prospective associates adhering to guidelines, legal aspects to my colleagues and to their opinions