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Business Email Writing
Session II: Sentence Construction Part II
Situation 1: Confirming a booking

 Events has booked a room with a client, Robert

 The booking was made over the phone

 Robert requested a confirmation
Hi Robert

Kindly remind the Tower Function Room 10 is block for your training this
afternoon upon your request.

Should you have any other problem, please do not hesitate to let me know.
Thank you.


Best sincerely
Mama Mia




 Your Task: Fix this
Dear Robert,

I am writing to confirm Tower Function Room 10 is blocked for your
training this afternoon according to your following requirements:

1.   Time: 2:30pm – 4:00pm
2.   Equipment: Projector, pencils, paper
3.   Seating arrangement: Round table
4.   Total number of participants: Around 25

If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know.


Sincerely,
Mama Mia



 Corrected.
Situation 2: Confirming Pricing

Sales has made previous contact with guest

Guest requested basic information regarding
pricing and packaging via email
Dear Carter,

Warm greetings from Kerry Hotel Pudong, Shanghai.

Further to your Request, ACME corporate rate is RMB 1350+15% about
USD 213.34+15% for Deluxe Room; and our Club Room is RMB
1700+15% about USD 268.65+15% both including one person's breakfast
and free wifi and free mini bar upon check-in.

Should you need any further assistant and details information please feel
free contact me.

Warm Regards,
Mama Mia
Dear Mr. Carter,

Greetings from the Kerry Hotel Pudong, Shanghai!

Thank you for your letter regarding our corporate rates. Our rates and
features are as follows:
ACME Corporate Rates:
Deluxe Room:
RMB 1350+15% (about USD 213.34+15%)
Club Room:
RMB 1700+15% (about USD 268.65+15%)

Both rooms include:
    Breakfast for one
    Free wifi
    Free mini bar upon check-in.

If you require more information, please feel free to contact me any time.

Warm Regards,
Writing a meaningful subject line:
Writing a meaningful subject line:
Comma Splices
Incorrectly uses a comma to divide two
independent sentences.

I am tired today, I will take a nap later.
Subject-Verb Agreement
Singular subjects should have singular verbs

Plural subjects have plural verbs.

This is called agreement in number

Refers specifically to verbs in the present tense.
Subject                        Verb


The dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen sink needs to be washed.




The dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen sink need to be washed.


                                         Verb now
                                       matches the
                                     subject in number
Pronoun Antecedent
    Agreement
What is a pronoun?
A pronoun takes the place of a noun
and sometimes refers to a noun.
“He is riding a bike through the
park.”
What is a pronoun?
The weather is great today; let’s
make the most of it by having a
picnic.
What is an antecedent?
Even though the party was fun, it
was crowded.
What’s the problem?
When an employee does not agree
with his/her boss’s decision, the
employee should not support that
decision.
Corrected.
When an employee does not agree
with his boss’s decision, the
employee should not support that
decision.
Homework:
Complete both handout worksheets

Write an example of an “incorrect”:
   Comma splice
   Subject-verb DISagreement
   Pronoun-antecedent DISagreement

Fix the sentences.

Take the quizzes on schoology.

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Business email writing course 2

  • 1. Business Email Writing Session II: Sentence Construction Part II
  • 2. Situation 1: Confirming a booking Events has booked a room with a client, Robert The booking was made over the phone Robert requested a confirmation
  • 3. Hi Robert Kindly remind the Tower Function Room 10 is block for your training this afternoon upon your request. Should you have any other problem, please do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you. Best sincerely Mama Mia Your Task: Fix this
  • 4. Dear Robert, I am writing to confirm Tower Function Room 10 is blocked for your training this afternoon according to your following requirements: 1. Time: 2:30pm – 4:00pm 2. Equipment: Projector, pencils, paper 3. Seating arrangement: Round table 4. Total number of participants: Around 25 If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know. Sincerely, Mama Mia Corrected.
  • 5. Situation 2: Confirming Pricing Sales has made previous contact with guest Guest requested basic information regarding pricing and packaging via email
  • 6. Dear Carter, Warm greetings from Kerry Hotel Pudong, Shanghai. Further to your Request, ACME corporate rate is RMB 1350+15% about USD 213.34+15% for Deluxe Room; and our Club Room is RMB 1700+15% about USD 268.65+15% both including one person's breakfast and free wifi and free mini bar upon check-in. Should you need any further assistant and details information please feel free contact me. Warm Regards, Mama Mia
  • 7. Dear Mr. Carter, Greetings from the Kerry Hotel Pudong, Shanghai! Thank you for your letter regarding our corporate rates. Our rates and features are as follows: ACME Corporate Rates: Deluxe Room: RMB 1350+15% (about USD 213.34+15%) Club Room: RMB 1700+15% (about USD 268.65+15%) Both rooms include: Breakfast for one Free wifi Free mini bar upon check-in. If you require more information, please feel free to contact me any time. Warm Regards,
  • 8. Writing a meaningful subject line:
  • 9. Writing a meaningful subject line:
  • 10. Comma Splices Incorrectly uses a comma to divide two independent sentences. I am tired today, I will take a nap later.
  • 11. Subject-Verb Agreement Singular subjects should have singular verbs Plural subjects have plural verbs. This is called agreement in number Refers specifically to verbs in the present tense.
  • 12. Subject Verb The dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen sink needs to be washed. The dirty dishes sitting in the kitchen sink need to be washed. Verb now matches the subject in number
  • 13. Pronoun Antecedent Agreement
  • 14. What is a pronoun? A pronoun takes the place of a noun and sometimes refers to a noun. “He is riding a bike through the park.”
  • 15. What is a pronoun? The weather is great today; let’s make the most of it by having a picnic.
  • 16. What is an antecedent? Even though the party was fun, it was crowded.
  • 17. What’s the problem? When an employee does not agree with his/her boss’s decision, the employee should not support that decision.
  • 18. Corrected. When an employee does not agree with his boss’s decision, the employee should not support that decision.
  • 19. Homework: Complete both handout worksheets Write an example of an “incorrect”: Comma splice Subject-verb DISagreement Pronoun-antecedent DISagreement Fix the sentences. Take the quizzes on schoology.

Editor's Notes

  1. Use the useful phrases handout to edit this.
  2. Notice: Useful Phrases, bullets make things clearer