2. Agenda
Understand what conflict is
The Path of Conflict and resulting outcomes
Process to address conflict and practical
application
– Hot Buttons Exercise
3. Conflict
Any situation in which people have apparently
incompatible goals, interests, principles, feelings,
concerns or desires
4. Consequences of Conflict
Potential Benefits Potential Costs
Creativity, problem solving & productivity Poor quality decisions
Teamwork & improved social Misunderstanding and distrust of self, others and
relationships workplace
Listening and perspective taking Decrease in productivity
Reflective thinking and open Anger, fear, defensiveness, hurt, negativity and
communication embarrassment
Share information Detriment to building lasting relationships
Signal change is necessary Reduced open communication and information
Means for expressing emotions – clear Lessens individual/joint goals and outcomes and client
of air and reduce tension outcomes
Instigates aggression and retaliation
Derails careers and harms reputations
Reduced leadership, management and organizational
success
5. Conflict Approach
Conflict is generally inevitable;
Most do not like it…see it as negative
Most avoid it but it does not go away...
It is dynamic and has an energy/life all its
own
6. Path of Conflict
Precipitating Event and/or Hot Buttons
Initiate Conflict
Constructive Responses Destructive Responses
Behaviors which keep Behaviors which escalate
conflict to a minimum or prolong conflict
Task-Focused Conflict Person-Focused Conflict
(Cognitive) (Affective)
• Focus on task and • Focused on personal
problem solving • Negative emotions (anger,
• Positive effect frustration)
• Tension decreases • Tension increases
• Group functioning improves • Group functioning decreases
CONFLICT DE-ESCALATES CONFLICT ESCALATES
7. Precipitating Events
When someone says or does something that
causes us to believe that their interests, goals,
principles or feelings are incompatible with and
threatening to our own
An attribution of bad or inconsistent motives that
almost always leads to arousal of emotions –
typically anger or fear
8. CDP Hot Buttons
People or situations which may irritate, annoy
or frustrate you enough to provoke conflict by
producing destructive responses
• Unreliable • Overly analytical
• Unappreciative • Aloof
• Micro-managing • Self-centered
• Abrasive • Untrustworthy
• Hostile
10. Constructive Responses- Active
or Passive
Behaviors which research has
demonstrated to be highly effective in
keeping the harmful effects of conflict to a
minimum
Constructive responses emphasize:
Perspective taking and understanding of differences
Creative problem-solving & focus on exchange of
ideas
Task completion
Expression of emotions in a constructive way
Not provoking the other person
11. Destructive Responses – Active
or Passive
Behaviors which research has
demonstrated to escalate or prolong
affective conflict
Destructive responses emphasize:
Displaying negative emotions
Trying to win, no matter what
Lack of respect for the other person
Avoiding conflict rather than facing it
Lack of cooperation and collaboration
12. Goal of Conflict Management
Reduce harmful effects and maximize
useful effects of conflict resulting in
improved benefits and reduced costs –
organizational, departmental and people
X
13. Hot Buttons (HB) Exercise
•Complete the Hot Buttons
(HB) Exercise - 10 minutes
•Pick your top HB - Level 5 or 4
•What is it about this HB that
irritates you so strongly?
•What are your typical
thoughts, feelings, bodily
sensations when the HB shows
up?
•How do you typically react to
the HB?
13
•Lee Thomas consulting associates, inc.
15. Develop Conflict
Competence
STEP AWAY and OBSERVE
Humility and perspective; my way is not only way
Overcome the urge to fight or flight
Restraint to pause or delay when tensions high
Thoughtfulness to contemplate new possibilities
Creativity to ID and consider options
Choose appropriate dialogue/actions despite frustration – 1
constructive response
Vulnerability to reveal emotions well or offer apology
Optimism that solutions can/will be found
16. CDP Conflict Response
Categories
Constructive Destructive
Perspective Taking Winning at All Costs
Active
Creating Solutions Displaying Anger
Expressing Emotions Demeaning Others
Reaching Out Retaliating
Avoiding
Passive
Reflective Thinking
Yielding
Delay Responding
Hiding Emotions
Adapting
Self Criticizing
17. Lessons In Conflict
You are not alone
Responses to conflict are learned
You control how you feel, think and respond
You can affect the direction and intensity of
conflict – act early; do not harm
Conflict resolution is dynamic
18. Lessons In Conflict
“Conflict is inevitable but,
combat is optional.”
Max Lucado
