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Promoting a
Marriage Culture

        © 2002 International Educational Foundation
 IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only
          if it has not been altered from the original.
                                                                © IEF 1
Marriage & Family
Besieged




                    © IEF 2
Rise In
Divorce
               Up over 200%
                in U. S.
                1960-1998
                  Annual number of
                  divorces
                  per 1000 unwed
                  females
                  over age 15

             Up 130% in China
 Sources: S ta ti s ti c a l Ab s tr a c t o f th e
       Un i te d1985 –, 1992; S ta ti s ti c s
                   S ta te s 1 9 9 8
         Bu r e a u , Ch i n e s e Mi n i s tr y o f Ci v i l   © IEF 3
Children of Divorced
or Single Parents at
Risk
             Em otionalproblem s
             Delinquency
             Dropping out of school
            Abuse of sex and drugs
             Poverty

                                    © IEF 4
Marriage Rates
Declining
         Down by 40% in
          U. S. since 1960
            Annual number of
            marriages
            per 1000 unwed females
            over
            age 15

        56% of adults
           are
           married
   Source: Na ti o n a l Ce n te r f o r
          He a l th s ta ti s ti c s ;
                                                © IEF 5
          US Bu r e a u o f th e Ce n s u s ,
Births Outside
Marriage

             Sweden —
              50%
             France —
              35%
             U. S.   —
              30%         © IEF 6
Rise in
Cohabitationin America
    900% increase
      5                           4. 2 Million Couples

      4

      3

      2

      1    0. 5 Million Couples


                   1960               1998
Source: U.S . Bu r e a u o f th e Ce n s u s , Cu r r e n t
      P o pu l a ti o n R e po r ts ,                         © IEF 7
Reasons for
Cohabitation
        Fear of divorce
        Less commitment
        “ Test-drive”
         relationship
        Government
         incentives
                           © IEF 8
Cohabitation Is No
Panacea
     Increased conflict and
      poorer communication
      S o u r c e : Da v i d G. Me ye r s ,
                 The Pursuit of Happiness

     Greater likelihood of
      divorce
     7 times greater risk of
      violence to women
       Source: Na ti o n a l Cr i m e
             V i c ti m i za ti o n S u r v e y,   © IEF 9
             US De pa r tm e n t o f
Natural Family
Order
Facilitates Love


              Guides family
               harmony



                               © IEF 10
Positions in the Family
          Grandparen
             ts &
            Parents
                  Younge
            Tru      r
 Husban      e    Sibling
            Lov         Wife
   d
       Elder e
      Siblin
        g
           Children &
         Grandchildre          © IEF 11
The Four Spheres of
Love

             Child’s
              Sphere
             Sibling’ s
              Sphere
             Spouse’s
              Sphere
             Parent’s     © IEF 12
Parents —
Primary Moral
Teachers

            Schools can
            support
            parents in this
            role


                              © IEF 13
Passes On a
Legacy


   Conserves and transforms
   Grandparents — Represent
    the Past
   Parents — Represent the
    Present
                               © IEF 14
                                © IEF 14
Family as Royalty of
Love
           Father and Grandfather

            — Kings
           Mother and
            Grandmother
            — Queens
           Child
            — Prince and Princess
                                    © IEF 15
Strong Families Have
Focus Higher than
Self

                 Altruistic
                  purpose
                 Service to
                  community



                               © IEF 16
Uniqueness of Marriage
           Joins two lives
              Fam ilies
              Possessions
              Destiny
              Bodies
           Sex — Exclusive
           to the spouse
                             © IEF 17
Profound Significance
of Marriage

   Highest      Highest
  expressio     expressi
  n of yang.     on of
                  yin.
   One half     One half
     of            of
  humanity.     humanit
                   y.      © IEF 18
Conjugal
Relationship

                Emotional
                    and
               psychologica
                 l bonding


                              © IEF 19
Conjugal
Relationship

               Produces
               physical and
               spiritual force
               to create a
               new being

                                 © IEF 20
Conjugal
Relationship


               Continu
               es
               lineage


                         © IEF 21
With Freedom
Comes
Responsibility
           Conscien
              ce




                      © IEF 22
With Freedom
Comes
Responsibility
           Conscien
              ce


                      Spous
                        e

                         © IEF 23
With Freedom
Comes
Responsibility
           Conscien
              ce


                         Spous
                           e
                 Child      © IEF 24
“Sex is mostj  oyfuland ful l –
                           filing
 mostemotionaly safe as wel as
                  l            l
 physicaly safe – within a l
          l                 oving,
 totaland binding commitment…
 [as in] mar iage.”
            r
  S o u r c e : Th o m a s Li c k o n a , Am e r i c a n
            Ed u c a to r ,
            Educating for Character

                                                           © IEF 25
Sexual Desire & Self–
Control
Sexual Desires     Sexual Activity

                    Controlling it is
Normal & healthy
                   normal & healthy




                                        © IEF 26
Human Sexuality
Involves Freedom




 Physical  Social    Physical &
  &                     Instinctual
  Instinctu  Moral
  al
                                      © IEF 27
MutualOwnership of
PhysicalSexuality

One‘s sexual expression

for spouse alone
  Fulfills its function
   completely
  Based on true love
                           © IEF 28
Inspirational Family
Gathering

     Reading wisdom
      literature
     Sharing stories of
      virtue


                           © IEF 29
Promote Healthy
Living Among Youth

        Self
         respect
        Sobriety
        Sexual
         purity
                     © IEF 30
Fulfilled Couples —
Source of Strength

           Betterparents
           Mentors to othercouples
           Pillars of the com m unity



                                         © IEF 31
Strengthen
Marriages

   Rededication
    ceremonies
   Mentoring young
    couples


                      © IEF 32

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09 pmc IEF-TIMD Lecture 09

  • 1. Promoting a Marriage Culture © 2002 International Educational Foundation IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only if it has not been altered from the original. © IEF 1
  • 3. Rise In Divorce  Up over 200% in U. S. 1960-1998 Annual number of divorces per 1000 unwed females over age 15  Up 130% in China Sources: S ta ti s ti c a l Ab s tr a c t o f th e Un i te d1985 –, 1992; S ta ti s ti c s S ta te s 1 9 9 8 Bu r e a u , Ch i n e s e Mi n i s tr y o f Ci v i l © IEF 3
  • 4. Children of Divorced or Single Parents at Risk  Em otionalproblem s  Delinquency  Dropping out of school Abuse of sex and drugs  Poverty © IEF 4
  • 5. Marriage Rates Declining  Down by 40% in U. S. since 1960 Annual number of marriages per 1000 unwed females over age 15  56% of adults are married Source: Na ti o n a l Ce n te r f o r He a l th s ta ti s ti c s ; © IEF 5 US Bu r e a u o f th e Ce n s u s ,
  • 6. Births Outside Marriage  Sweden — 50%  France — 35%  U. S. — 30% © IEF 6
  • 7. Rise in Cohabitationin America 900% increase 5 4. 2 Million Couples 4 3 2 1 0. 5 Million Couples 1960 1998 Source: U.S . Bu r e a u o f th e Ce n s u s , Cu r r e n t P o pu l a ti o n R e po r ts , © IEF 7
  • 8. Reasons for Cohabitation  Fear of divorce  Less commitment  “ Test-drive” relationship  Government incentives © IEF 8
  • 9. Cohabitation Is No Panacea  Increased conflict and poorer communication S o u r c e : Da v i d G. Me ye r s , The Pursuit of Happiness  Greater likelihood of divorce  7 times greater risk of violence to women Source: Na ti o n a l Cr i m e V i c ti m i za ti o n S u r v e y, © IEF 9 US De pa r tm e n t o f
  • 10. Natural Family Order Facilitates Love  Guides family harmony © IEF 10
  • 11. Positions in the Family Grandparen ts & Parents Younge Tru r Husban e Sibling Lov Wife d Elder e Siblin g Children & Grandchildre © IEF 11
  • 12. The Four Spheres of Love  Child’s Sphere  Sibling’ s Sphere  Spouse’s Sphere  Parent’s © IEF 12
  • 13. Parents — Primary Moral Teachers Schools can support parents in this role © IEF 13
  • 14. Passes On a Legacy Conserves and transforms  Grandparents — Represent the Past  Parents — Represent the Present © IEF 14 © IEF 14
  • 15. Family as Royalty of Love  Father and Grandfather — Kings  Mother and Grandmother — Queens  Child — Prince and Princess © IEF 15
  • 16. Strong Families Have Focus Higher than Self  Altruistic purpose  Service to community © IEF 16
  • 17. Uniqueness of Marriage Joins two lives  Fam ilies  Possessions  Destiny  Bodies Sex — Exclusive to the spouse © IEF 17
  • 18. Profound Significance of Marriage Highest Highest expressio expressi n of yang. on of yin. One half One half of of humanity. humanit y. © IEF 18
  • 19. Conjugal Relationship Emotional and psychologica l bonding © IEF 19
  • 20. Conjugal Relationship Produces physical and spiritual force to create a new being © IEF 20
  • 21. Conjugal Relationship Continu es lineage © IEF 21
  • 22. With Freedom Comes Responsibility Conscien ce © IEF 22
  • 23. With Freedom Comes Responsibility Conscien ce Spous e © IEF 23
  • 24. With Freedom Comes Responsibility Conscien ce Spous e Child © IEF 24
  • 25. “Sex is mostj oyfuland ful l – filing mostemotionaly safe as wel as l l physicaly safe – within a l l oving, totaland binding commitment… [as in] mar iage.” r S o u r c e : Th o m a s Li c k o n a , Am e r i c a n Ed u c a to r , Educating for Character © IEF 25
  • 26. Sexual Desire & Self– Control Sexual Desires Sexual Activity Controlling it is Normal & healthy normal & healthy © IEF 26
  • 27. Human Sexuality Involves Freedom  Physical  Social  Physical & & Instinctual Instinctu  Moral al © IEF 27
  • 28. MutualOwnership of PhysicalSexuality One‘s sexual expression for spouse alone  Fulfills its function completely  Based on true love © IEF 28
  • 29. Inspirational Family Gathering  Reading wisdom literature  Sharing stories of virtue © IEF 29
  • 30. Promote Healthy Living Among Youth  Self respect  Sobriety  Sexual purity © IEF 30
  • 31. Fulfilled Couples — Source of Strength  Betterparents  Mentors to othercouples  Pillars of the com m unity © IEF 31
  • 32. Strengthen Marriages  Rededication ceremonies  Mentoring young couples © IEF 32

Notas do Editor

  1. Rise in Divorce Rates Since 1960 France Ð Up 300% United States Ð Up 230% Sweden Ð Up 230% Japan Ð Up 150% Source: US Department of Education, 1992
  2. Youth In Crisis Sexual promiscuity Drug and alcohol abuse AIDS & STDs Crime and violence Declining academic performance
  3. Rogers Introduces Therapy-Based School Reform Adult therapeutic methods applied to child education Carl Rogers, Founder of Client-Centered Therapy
  4. Explosion of Destructive Youth Behavior Since 1940s 1940s School Problems 1. Talking out of turn 2. Chewing gum 3. Making noise 4. Running indoors 5. Getting out of line 6. Improper clothing 7. Littering 1990s School Problems 1. Drug abuse 2. Alcohol abuse 3. Pregnancy 4. Suicide 5. Rape 6. Robbery 7. Assault Source: William J. Bennett et al., Index of Leading Cultural indicators, Empower America, Mar. 1993
  5. Characteristics of ÒNon-DirectiveÓ Education 4. Rejects the authority of traditional moral teaching 5. Undermines the parentsÕ role in education
  6. Best of the 20th Century
  7. Strongest Influences on Students 1950 1. Home 2. School 3. Church 4. Peers 5. TV 1990 1. Peers 2. TV 3. Home 4. School 5. Church Source: Michigan State University study, 1990
  8. Education for Mastery 1. Academic education 2. Technical education 3. Physical education
  9. Education in Ethical Standards 1. Understanding the standards for good relationships 2. Fulfilling family roles & responsibilities 3. Training in behavior, attitudes and manners ¥ Creating harmony
  10. 1. Joins two lives¥ Shared possessions¥ Merged families¥ Common destiny¥ Physical union2. Conjugal intimacy is not shared with anyone else
  11. Bonds two people together
  12. Can create a new person
  13. S-46Can continue a lineage
  14. S-59Second responsibility of conjugal loveDevotion & service sustains marriage
  15. “ Sex is most joyful and fulfilling - most emotionally safe as well as physically safe - when it occurs within a loving, total and binding commitment...[as in] marriage... the union of two person’s lives.” Source: Thomas Lickona, American Educator, Educating for Character
  16. Normal & healthy Controlling it is normal & healthy
  17. S-531. Expresses the joy of conjugal love2. Place where oneness is attained3. Starting point of parenthood4. Allows the fulfillment of the life goal of family