1. Erotic asphyxiation: treatments of kink in therapy and the media

3. In this, quite disturbing to be honest, article, named “Erotic asphyxiation — why do people do it?” used the tragic death of the MI6 spy Gareth Williams. The moment a “revelation” came that he frequented BDSM websites, the speculations this was the cause of his death started circling.

5. A long time ago, I was 15 then, my father had a man to man talk with me to explain to me why BDSM is bad. He said he knew a couple, where the husband died during their game, and the widow was stricken with guilt for it.

6. Psychologies magazine tried to explain that the BDSM is like a drug... When you are not doing it, you are fantasizing about it. Quite a bunch of hooey. There are many things I like to think about at the time I am not actually performing them. Sex, work, creative projects, music, food, things that made me laugh, spanking dating … obviously, all the source of a dangerous addiction.

8. But who am I to say it, when the magazine considers breathplay to be mostly performed by the male...

9. “ Because a woman needs to feel safe and secure to orgasm there’s a direct contradiction between the high risk of asphyxiation and pleasure.”

11. 1. What does a woman need? This statement can be true for the writer, but this statement can't be true for an entire gender. It is sexist, it is a generalization and it is completely based on stereotypes.

12. 2. I do like danger. I do like to hang during sex, with my throat being choked. And I am a woman.

14. 4. Breathplay can be dangerous. That is the point. You don't find a hookup and enter the breathplay right away. Yes, there are dangers and yes, you have to have mutual trust and know each other's limits. You don't just jump right into it. Take it a little by a little, and figure out the boundaries. The point of it is to be enjoyable to both.

16. “ It’s about a struggle with life. They could work through their issues in a normal way, of course, talking to counselors or using self-help books.” Basically, they are stating that the BDSM happens only to people who have a bad childhood trauma in the remainder of the text.

17. So, talk to the therapist who will make your sexuality pathological and insult your childhood? And in doing so, spend money on their own services and products in order to cure your “deviation”?

19. These assumptions are dangerous for the psychology as it is, thanks to basing on theory without any evidence or proof. And the press is just too happy to take it and explain it as whole hard truth.

21. Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM – Meg Barker, Alessandra Iantaffi and Camel Gupta, 2007.

22. Health Care Without Shame: A Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers – Charles Moser, 1999.

23. Safe, Sane and Consensual – Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism. Edited by Darren Langdridge and Meg Barker, 2007.