We interviewed Dr. Deborah Gilboa (also known as “Dr. G”), a Board Certified Family Physician, mother of four, and a professional parenting speaker, about her experience and perspective on family safety and home security.

1. Family Safety & Home Security

2. When you have a family, keeping them physically and
emotionally safe and is at the top of your priority list. We
interviewed Dr. Deborah Gilboa (also known as “Dr. G”), a
Board Certified Family Physician, mother of four, and a
professional parenting speaker, about her experience and
perspective on family safety and home security.

3. How important is safety and
security to a child?
All children need a safe and secure home to feel confident and make developmental
strides. If a child’s home is unsafe, they won’t take risks, such as raising a hand in
class, or trying out for a sports team.
Between the ages of 3 and 7, children begin to realize that their family is not
immortal, and bad things really do happen to people. As parents, we need to
reassure our children, without making guarantees. If we make promises we can’t
keep, we lose credibility and trust.

4. How should a parent explain the concept
of an alarm system and home security if a
child asks?
Don’t add the element of fear. We don’t frighten children with malnutrition, instead we
explain that we take care of our bodies and eat good food to stay healthy and strong.
The same thing applies to home security – an alarm system lets parents to know every
time the door opens. This allows parent to know if a door or window breaks or opens
for any reason, including natural causes, such animals, weather, and tree branches.
You should also tell children that if the alarm is triggered, they need to stay in their
rooms until you get them, and explain that the police may come to check that
everyone is ok.

5. How should a parent deal with a child who
gets upset by a crime story in the news?
Sometimes children latch onto a story, and one way to deal with it is go on the internet
and find out what happened the next day. Reporters cover scary news events, but not
the rest of the story. You can find out of the burglar was caught, if the family is
safe, and if the police came to help. Most of the time, people are ok and recover from
crime.
Depending on your family’s values, you can encourage your child to pray for the
family, write them a card, or make a donation to a charity for the victims of violent
crimes.

6. Any specific home safety measures you
recommend?
You should always lock your doors, even when you are home. Burglars will walk into a
house grab a purse, and leave while the family is eating dinner. If you have a security
system, you use door chimes on every door. As a parent, I use the door chimes on my
door all the time. Once I was in the bathroom and heard the door chime. I got out in a
hurry to discover my toddler running down the sidewalk after a dump truck!
When your children are outside, keep them within earshot or in your line of
sight, depending on your neighborhood. I recommend using a “verbal hand-off” as
well. Don’t assume someone else is watching them, instead say “I need to go, can you
watch the kids?” Make sure that the other person responds “Yes” and takes over the
responsibility.

7. What about home security with
teenagers?
Leaving a child home alone is a parental decision. If you feel your child is mature and old
enough, establish rules about who can come in the house when you are not home. If
untrustworthy friends come over, and bring alcohol or act inappropriately, your child may not be
able to throw their friends out. The safest thing to do is to say that no one can come in without
your permission, not even friends. Your child can tell their friends, “My parents won’t let anyone
come in when they’re not home. I’ll be grounded,” and defer the blame to you. You’ll allow them
to save face and stay safe.
When your child stays home alone, explain that the home security system is there to protect
them. If someone breaks in, it’s ok to hide. The police will be called immediately and check on
their safety. You should also have a house rule that teenagers are not allowed to put their home
address anywhere on the internet, ever, unless a parent checks out the website and gives
approval. Explain that giving a home address is “like giving someone a key to your home”. Teach
teenagers how to be internet savvy and protect their personal information.

8. What would you say to parents who want
to get a gun for home protection?
A gun is not good for home protection, unless you have been a gun owner and a
gun user for your entire life. You should not own a gun unless you have
intensive gun training. During home invasions where an untrained homeowner
pulls out a gun, the homeowner runs the serious risk of being shot by their own
gun. If you do have a gun in your home, make sure it has a fingerprint trigger
lock so only trained adults can use it.

9. If your home is robbed, what can or
should you say to your children to make
them feel safe?
You should show empathy, and model resilience. You can explain what
happened, and let them know that everyone will be ok. You should let children
describe their own feelings, whatever they are. But the only way to get through
a traumatic event is to be resilient, so parents need to be role models and show
children that they can survive and thrive.