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The Thesis Statement
What is a thesis statement?


  2-3 sentences in your introduction that concisely state your
  answer to the question and map how you are going to
  prove your point of view.

Example
Q: Explain which novel is the best choice for adolescent
readers.
Thesis: A effective novel for adolescent readers is engaging,
original and age-appropriate. Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger
Games, with its unpredictable plotline, relatable characters
and age-appropriate language, is the best choice for
adolescent readers
Elements of a Thesis Statement


 Identifies your point of view
 Is specific and sticks to the topic
 Demonstrates how you will support your point of
 view by indicating your main arguments.
The Thesis Will NOT


waffle.
introduce examples, quotes or techniques.
include any rhetorical questions.
re-tell the plot or life story of the composer.
plagarise anything!
Q: The journey itself is more
important than the destination.
To what extent is this statement
 reflected in The Secret River?
Step One:
Decide your position on the topic. Remember that you can edit your thesis
statement late if you find that your evidence doesn’t quite support it.

Step Two: List and sort the ideas you want to use to support your argument.

Step Three: Ask yourself - can I support my point of view? Look at your evidence.
Is there enough to support your point of view? If not, you can edit your thesis.

Step Four: Use the ideas to write 2-3 sentences that indicate:
a) the topic
b) your point of view on the topic
c) how you will support your point of view.
Obstacles allow people to                                   For the persona in “The
learn a lot during their                                    Pilgrimage,” the physical
journeys about their own                                    journey of the war and
identity. Thornhill learns                                  returning to Vietnam is
his place in the world                                      over, but the inner
                               Thornhill became a better
while the persona in the                                    journey of healing isn’t
                               man by overcoming
article learns to reflect on                                over.
                               obstacles such as poverty,
his experiences.
                               the class system and how
                               to deal with the
                               Indigenous people.
                                               Journeys can have positive
                 When Thornhill’s Dad          and negative experiences.
                 died, he started a new        The destination might not
                 journey as the patriarch of   show this.
                 his family.
  William’s journey                                         For the persona in “The
  was shaped by                                             Pilgrimage,” experiences
  experiences he had                                        during the journey shaped
  along the way.                                            the outcome
Experiences                      Obstacles                    Consequences



Obstacles allow people to                                    Thornhill became a better
learn a lot during their                                     man by overcoming
journeys about their own       For the persona in “The       obstacles such as poverty,
identity. Thornhill learns     Pilgrimage,” the physical     the class system and how
his place in the world         journey of the war and        to deal with the
while the persona in the       returning to Vietnam is       Indigenous people.
article learns to reflect on   over, but the inner
his experiences.               journey of healing isn’t
                               over.
When Thornhill’s Dad
died, he started a new          Journeys can have positive
journey as the patriarch of     and negative experiences.
his family.                     The destination might not
  William’s journey             show this.                   For the persona in “The
  was shaped by                                              Pilgrimage,” experiences
  experiences he had                                         during the journey haped
  along the way.                                             the outcome
Experiences during a         Obstacles                      Consequences
journey shape the outcome
and a person’s identity.



Journeys can have positive   Thornhill became a better       When Thornhill’s Dad
and negative experiences.    man by overcoming               died, he started a new
The destination might not    obstacles such as poverty,      journey as the patriarch of
show this.                   the class system and how        his family.
                             to deal with the
William’s journey            Indigenous people.
was shaped by                                                For the persona in “The
experiences he had                                           Pilgrimage,” the physical
along the way.                                               journey of the war and
                             Obstacles allow people to
                                                             returning to Vietnam is
                             learn a lot during their
                                                             over, but the inner
For the persona in “The      journeys about their own
                                                             journey of healing isn’t
Pilgrimage,” experiences     identity. Thornhill learns
                                                             over.
during the journey haped     his place in the world
the outcome                  while the persona in the
                             article learns to reflect on
                             his experiences.
Experiences during a         Overcoming obstacles           Consequences
journey shape the outcome    during a journey allow
and a person’s identity.     people to grow and
                             change.


Journeys can have positive   Thornhill became a better       When Thornhill’s Dad
and negative experiences.    man by overcoming               died, he started a new
The destination might not    obstacles such as poverty,      journey as the patriarch of
show this.                   the class system and how        his family.
                             to deal with the
William’s journey            Indigenous people.
was shaped by                                                For the persona in “The
experiences he had                                           Pilgrimage,” the physical
along the way.                                               journey of the war and
                             Obstacles allow people to
                                                             returning to Vietnam is
                             learn a lot during their
                                                             over, but the inner
For the persona in “The      journeys about their own
                                                             journey of healing isn’t
Pilgrimage,” experiences     identity. Thornhill learns
                                                             over.
during the journey haped     his place in the world
the outcome                  while the persona in the
                             article learns to reflect on
                             his experiences.
Experiences during a         Overcoming obstacles           There is no real destination.
journey shape the outcome    during a journey allow         Journeys can be
and a person’s identity.     people to grow and             concurrent, or the end of
                             change.                        one marks the beginning of
                                                            another.

Journeys can have positive   Thornhill became a better       When Thornhill’s Dad
and negative experiences.    man by overcoming               died, he started a new
The destination might not    obstacles such as poverty,      journey as the patriarch of
show this.                   the class system and how        his family.
                             to deal with the
William’s journey            Indigenous people.
was shaped by                                                For the persona in “The
experiences he had                                           Pilgrimage,” the physical
along the way.                                               journey of the war and
                             Obstacles allow people to
                                                             returning to Vietnam is
                             learn a lot during their
                                                             over, but the inner
For the persona in “The      journeys about their own
                                                             journey of healing isn’t
Pilgrimage,” experiences     identity. Thornhill learns
                                                             over.
during the journey haped     his place in the world
the outcome                  while the persona in the
                             article learns to reflect on
                             his experiences.
Thesis Statement


Although the destination is significant, the journey itself
is far more formative as a person’s identity is shaped by
the experiences and obstacles they encounter during
their journey. These experiences and obstacles are
essential to a journey whereas the destination is not
because journeys often occur concurrently and the
destination may not exist.
Introduction


The importance of the journey over the destination is
demonstrated throughout Kate Grenville’s novel The
Secret River and Mark Dapin’s article “The Pilgrimage.”
Although the destination is significant, the journey itself
is far more formative as a person’s identity is shaped by
the experiences and obstacles they encounter during
their journey. These experiences and obstacles are
essential to a journey whereas the destination is not
because journeys often occur concurrently and the
destination may not exist.
Thesis Statement Bungles


The Secret River is really good book. It is about William
Thornhill, a man who is transported to Australia in 1806
with his family. He does it tough for awhile but then
make loads of money on the Hawkesbury and builds a
massive house.
All journeys are caused by the influence of others.
To what extent is this statement reflected in The Secret
River and The Little Refugee?

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Thesis statement

  • 2. What is a thesis statement? 2-3 sentences in your introduction that concisely state your answer to the question and map how you are going to prove your point of view. Example Q: Explain which novel is the best choice for adolescent readers. Thesis: A effective novel for adolescent readers is engaging, original and age-appropriate. Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games, with its unpredictable plotline, relatable characters and age-appropriate language, is the best choice for adolescent readers
  • 3. Elements of a Thesis Statement Identifies your point of view Is specific and sticks to the topic Demonstrates how you will support your point of view by indicating your main arguments.
  • 4. The Thesis Will NOT waffle. introduce examples, quotes or techniques. include any rhetorical questions. re-tell the plot or life story of the composer. plagarise anything!
  • 5. Q: The journey itself is more important than the destination. To what extent is this statement reflected in The Secret River?
  • 6. Step One: Decide your position on the topic. Remember that you can edit your thesis statement late if you find that your evidence doesn’t quite support it. Step Two: List and sort the ideas you want to use to support your argument. Step Three: Ask yourself - can I support my point of view? Look at your evidence. Is there enough to support your point of view? If not, you can edit your thesis. Step Four: Use the ideas to write 2-3 sentences that indicate: a) the topic b) your point of view on the topic c) how you will support your point of view.
  • 7. Obstacles allow people to For the persona in “The learn a lot during their Pilgrimage,” the physical journeys about their own journey of the war and identity. Thornhill learns returning to Vietnam is his place in the world over, but the inner Thornhill became a better while the persona in the journey of healing isn’t man by overcoming article learns to reflect on over. obstacles such as poverty, his experiences. the class system and how to deal with the Indigenous people. Journeys can have positive When Thornhill’s Dad and negative experiences. died, he started a new The destination might not journey as the patriarch of show this. his family. William’s journey For the persona in “The was shaped by Pilgrimage,” experiences experiences he had during the journey shaped along the way. the outcome
  • 8. Experiences Obstacles Consequences Obstacles allow people to Thornhill became a better learn a lot during their man by overcoming journeys about their own For the persona in “The obstacles such as poverty, identity. Thornhill learns Pilgrimage,” the physical the class system and how his place in the world journey of the war and to deal with the while the persona in the returning to Vietnam is Indigenous people. article learns to reflect on over, but the inner his experiences. journey of healing isn’t over. When Thornhill’s Dad died, he started a new Journeys can have positive journey as the patriarch of and negative experiences. his family. The destination might not William’s journey show this. For the persona in “The was shaped by Pilgrimage,” experiences experiences he had during the journey haped along the way. the outcome
  • 9. Experiences during a Obstacles Consequences journey shape the outcome and a person’s identity. Journeys can have positive Thornhill became a better When Thornhill’s Dad and negative experiences. man by overcoming died, he started a new The destination might not obstacles such as poverty, journey as the patriarch of show this. the class system and how his family. to deal with the William’s journey Indigenous people. was shaped by For the persona in “The experiences he had Pilgrimage,” the physical along the way. journey of the war and Obstacles allow people to returning to Vietnam is learn a lot during their over, but the inner For the persona in “The journeys about their own journey of healing isn’t Pilgrimage,” experiences identity. Thornhill learns over. during the journey haped his place in the world the outcome while the persona in the article learns to reflect on his experiences.
  • 10. Experiences during a Overcoming obstacles Consequences journey shape the outcome during a journey allow and a person’s identity. people to grow and change. Journeys can have positive Thornhill became a better When Thornhill’s Dad and negative experiences. man by overcoming died, he started a new The destination might not obstacles such as poverty, journey as the patriarch of show this. the class system and how his family. to deal with the William’s journey Indigenous people. was shaped by For the persona in “The experiences he had Pilgrimage,” the physical along the way. journey of the war and Obstacles allow people to returning to Vietnam is learn a lot during their over, but the inner For the persona in “The journeys about their own journey of healing isn’t Pilgrimage,” experiences identity. Thornhill learns over. during the journey haped his place in the world the outcome while the persona in the article learns to reflect on his experiences.
  • 11. Experiences during a Overcoming obstacles There is no real destination. journey shape the outcome during a journey allow Journeys can be and a person’s identity. people to grow and concurrent, or the end of change. one marks the beginning of another. Journeys can have positive Thornhill became a better When Thornhill’s Dad and negative experiences. man by overcoming died, he started a new The destination might not obstacles such as poverty, journey as the patriarch of show this. the class system and how his family. to deal with the William’s journey Indigenous people. was shaped by For the persona in “The experiences he had Pilgrimage,” the physical along the way. journey of the war and Obstacles allow people to returning to Vietnam is learn a lot during their over, but the inner For the persona in “The journeys about their own journey of healing isn’t Pilgrimage,” experiences identity. Thornhill learns over. during the journey haped his place in the world the outcome while the persona in the article learns to reflect on his experiences.
  • 12. Thesis Statement Although the destination is significant, the journey itself is far more formative as a person’s identity is shaped by the experiences and obstacles they encounter during their journey. These experiences and obstacles are essential to a journey whereas the destination is not because journeys often occur concurrently and the destination may not exist.
  • 13. Introduction The importance of the journey over the destination is demonstrated throughout Kate Grenville’s novel The Secret River and Mark Dapin’s article “The Pilgrimage.” Although the destination is significant, the journey itself is far more formative as a person’s identity is shaped by the experiences and obstacles they encounter during their journey. These experiences and obstacles are essential to a journey whereas the destination is not because journeys often occur concurrently and the destination may not exist.
  • 14. Thesis Statement Bungles The Secret River is really good book. It is about William Thornhill, a man who is transported to Australia in 1806 with his family. He does it tough for awhile but then make loads of money on the Hawkesbury and builds a massive house.
  • 15. All journeys are caused by the influence of others. To what extent is this statement reflected in The Secret River and The Little Refugee?

Notas do Editor

  1. Presentation revising the thesis statement. Year 11 Standard English 2012
  2. These are all mistakes that I have seen students make. Make sure you don’t copy them.
  3. This is an example essay question for our current topic. I’m going to talk you through how I would approach writing a thesis statement for responding to this question.
  4. These are the steps we take in formulating our thesis statement.
  5. I think about each aspect of journey in turn. I tend not to write separately about types of journey as there often is not a lot of substance or argument to be built around it. Ideas for that aspect tend to be a given. So I start with experiences and how experiences during the trip were important. I always start with my prescribed text. Each of William experiences shaped his journey. Without those experiences, he couldn’t have had any of his destinations. The same is true for the persona in the article. Without his wartime experience, he couldn’t have become the bitter man he is in the article. I think it’s also important to note that William has lots of experiences, both positive and negative but he has a happy ending. If we focus only on the ending, then we miss out on everything that got him there and he becomes rather 2-dimensional and not relatable at all. Then I move on to obstacles. William’s obstacles make him stronger, tougher, more determined, a better person. Because he struggled as a kid, he works really hard to try to avoid that happening to his children. Without those obstacles, he would not have had that growrth of character. The obstacles also helped him learn about his identity. Nothing will teach you that you can’t cope with murdering a bunch of innocent people like trying it. Guilt plagues him until the day he dies but the obstacle of the massacre and coping with its aftermath teaches William, and us, something about values. The last big aspect is consequencs. Firstly, we can’t say the the destination is more important than the journey because what if there is no real destination. Both texts are telling us that the end of one journey is just the beginning of the next. William’s dad died, the end of a journey, but the beginning of William’s time as patriarch of his family. The persona in the article well his journeys are concurrent. He is on a physical journey, and we could say that that one is over, but his inner journey is not, and probably never will be, over. Brainstorming complete.
  6. Next I want to sort my ideas into sub-topics. The aspects of the topic are a good way to do this. There is often some overlap so you can shift things around to suit your writing needs.
  7. Next I look at my ideas and draw out the central idea for each aspect. What is that evidence really telling me about the aspect. The experiences ideas are all about shaping identity.
  8. Next I need a point about obstacles. It’s really saying how obstacles are significant over the course of a journey because a person grows, changes and learns from them and this is the only way they get to their destination. If you’re not learning and growing then you’re not going anywhere.
  9. Lastly I look at consequences and I see that there are no definite consequences because the journey never truly ends so how do you judge when or where the destination is?
  10. Ok, time to write a thesis statement. Experiences and obstacles were both shaping a person’s identity over time so I’m putting them together. I also make the point that a definite destination does not exist. We’re always on a journey and often can’t distinguish one from the next. I also take care to reference the question. Remember that it was about the journey being more important than the destination.
  11. The introduction draws together your thesis statement and the mandatory details: composer, form and tile.
  12. What not to do in a thesis statement: re-tell the plotJudge the quality of the plot – its not a book review. use informal language.
  13. Let’s try to formulate a thesis statement based on this question.