This document outlines best practices for being a good listener. It emphasizes the importance of paying full attention to the speaker by maintaining eye contact, avoiding distractions, and not mentally preparing a response. It also recommends being observant of body language cues from both the speaker and oneself. The document suggests providing feedback through respectful questioning for clarification and paraphrasing to ensure understanding, while avoiding interruptions. Finally, it proposes a listening challenge exercise for groups to practice these skills.

1. The Importance of
LISTENING

2. Paying Attention
Being a good listener requires our
undivided attention so that we can
interpret not only spoken words, but
also body language.

3. Paying Attention
Maintain eye contact with
the speaker
(This may not apply
depending on the
cultural norms of
the people in
question.)

4. Paying Attention
Avoid distractions
(cell phones,
side conversations,
etc.)

5. Paying Attention
Don't mentally prepare your
response or interrupt the speaker

6. Paying Attention
Don’t judge the validity of what is
being said.

7. Paying Attention
Don’t look for errors in
what the speaker is
saying!
(When holding a
conversation with a second
language learner, avoid
correcting grammar errors!)

8. Body Language
Be observant of the speaker’s
(and your own) body language and
gestures..

9. Body Language
These can indicate whether or not
you’re paying attention.

10. Body Language
Nod occasionally…
… but not in
excess!

11. Body Language
Nod occasionally…
…and not to show
that you approve
or disapprove of
what is being said.

12. Body Language
Smile or show signs
of empathy to show
that you are engaged
in the conversation.

13. Body Language
Use open and inviting posture to
show that you are receptive to what
the speaker is saying.

14. Body Language
Engage in the
conversation
with occasional
vocalizations
such as mmm-
hmm or awww.

15. Provide Feedback
At times we will need to ask questions
in order to get clarification.

16. Provide Feedback
However, always allow the speaker
to finish before asking questions.
Avoid the temptation to interrupt.

17. Provide Feedback
Ask questions for clarification:
“What do you mean when you say…”

18. Provide Feedback
Or…
“Is this what you mean?”

19. Provide Feedback
Sometimes it is helpful to paraphrase
what the speaker has said to ensure
that you understood correctly.

20. Provide Feedback
Examples of
paraphrasing:
“What I'm
hearing is…”

21. Provide Feedback
Examples of
paraphrasing:
“It sounds like
you are saying…”

22. Provide Feedback
Our own
experiences
impact our beliefs
and influence the
way in which we
hear others.

23. Provide Feedback
As a good listener,
we must try to push
our preconceived
ideas aside so that
we can receive all of
the information.

24. Provide Feedback
Once we have
listened to what the
speaker had to say,
we may feel inclined
to give feedback.

25. Provide Feedback
Always try to
respond in a way
that is respectful
of others, even if
you don’t agree
with their ideas or
opinions.

26. Provide Feedback
Before giving
feedback it is wise to
put your comment
to the Socrates
‘Test of Three’:

27. Provide Feedback
Is it good?
Is it true?
Is it useful?
Once you assess your
feedback, you can decide
whether or not to share it.

28. Listening Challenge
Now let’s put our listening
skills to the test. Divide
yourselves into small
groups of 3 to 4 people.
Try to group yourself with
people you don’t know.

29. Listening Challenge
Each person will be
given an opportunity
to speak for a set
period of time. While
he/she is speaking,
the rest of the group
will practice listening.

30. Listening Challenge
The rest of the group
will not talk or ask
questions until the
speaker’s time is up.

31. Listening Challenge
When the time is up, the listeners
will take turns providing
feedback.

32. Listening Challenge
“My experience
of you is…”
Feedback will start with
the phrase:

33. Listening Challenge
The speaker will
stand up and
remain standing
until the group has
finished giving
feedback.

34. Listening Challenge
Speaker #1:
Describe a problem or
a challenge that you
are currently facing.

35. Listening Challenge
Feedback:
“My experience
of you is…”

36. Listening Challenge
Speaker #2:
What is your greatest
hope or dream
in life?

37. Listening Challenge
Feedback:
“My experience
of you is…”

38. Listening Challenge
Speaker #3:
Describe your greatest
disappointment or
personal failure thus
far in your life.

39. Listening Challenge
Feedback:
“My experience
of you is…”

40. Listening Challenge
Speaker #4:
Describe a fear that
you struggle with on a
regular basis.

41. Listening Challenge
Feedback:
“My experience
of you is…”

42. Congratulations!
You have finished the
listening challenge!
We will now begin
applying these new
skills to…

43. … learn a foreign language, gain insight
into other cultures, and build better
relationships with those around us.