Amst1410 final research paper

ATTITUDE‘S IMPACT ON PARENTHOOD IN UGANDA


ADDAH KYARISIIMA

5020350

AMST1410

University of Minnesota

November 2013

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A parent is defined as a person who is one of the progenitors of a child; a father or
mother. Also, in extended use: a woman or man who takes on parental responsibilities towards a
child, e.g. a stepmother, an adoptive father (Parent.2005). A relative who plays the role of
guardian and the responsibilities involved describes parenthood. Being a parent is itself a
responsibility because it naturally induces care-taking for offspring. Parenthood is often a key
developmental milestone in an individual‘s lifespan, one of the ultimate indicators of becoming a
responsible adult. Becoming a parent and raising children offers the chance to express feelings of
attachment, while linking oneself to an intergenerational line and resolving the theorized midlife
crisis of generativity. Parents exercise enormous influence on their children, shaping their
cognitive development, emotions, worldview and, consequently, their behavior, although as they
grow up, children increasingly shape this interaction.
My research is on the Ugandan society roles for parents based on gender and how it
affects parents‘ influence in the growth of their children. Though parent refers to any primary
care giver, teenage parents are not in the scope of this paper; my research considers parents in a
formal family1setting. Gender refers to the state of being male or female, typically used with
reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones; the socially constructed
roles of and relations between men and women. ―The term gender may be used to describe those
non-physiological components of sex that are culturally regarded as appropriate to males or
females‖ (Unger 1979).
Race, class, gender and sexuality are constructions whose permanence and pervasiveness
illustrate their significance as major organizing principles of personal identity and society2
(Weber 1998). Society is part of human life. We live with other people, with whom we share the
same social territory, subject to the same cultural expectations, though like-mindedness is not
mandatory. I argue that the way we view life and roles in families for fathers and mothers has an
impact on how the roles are played, significantly impacting on the children‘s lives. Having
differences in opinion is human, but the fact that we live with others means that humanity will
have expectations of us; and those in charge of raising children, the parents, are not an exception.
They are in fact indirectly monitored by other people based on their children‘s progress in life,
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With formal family I mean a father, mother and their children; like for a nuclear family.
Weber Linn clearly brings out the understanding of gender, race and class influence on our personal identity and
society. We all want a sense of belonging in relation to which she explains the significance of gender, class and race
in our feeling of identity.
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especially if the children are still under their care. Making parenting a priority can be one of the
expectations of parents if they are to bring up their children well. Continuous encouragements to
children for their skill development, teaching them proper behavior, and being good role models
are but a few of the expectations for good parenting. The question is who does what, when and
how; not to say that there should be pre-defined responsibility, but that there is a need to know
the extremes of neglecting roles.

Uganda is a developing country hence it has growing indicators of socioeconomic growth
that inevitably influence which resources are available to parents. Parents in this kind of
economy which depends a lot on agriculture have a lot of concerns to reckon with3 (Akullo, D. &
Kanzikwera, R. 2007), including acquiring basic needs for their children. Having some of these
concerns requires maximum co-operation between the concerned parties if they are to have a
sustainable life amidst their economic vulnerability.

Cultural norms (the shared beliefs, customs, practices and behavior) and the lives led by
parents in Uganda have had a great influence on young people‘s upbringing, their lives and
health-related behaviors, including sexual decision making. Uganda has a problem with
HIV/AIDS that is prevalent among youth and married people (Cohen 2004). For the youth, I
believe parents have a big role to play in their lives. The cultural beliefs that hinder free
communication and interactions between children and their parents are really a big problem. In
Uganda, the youth often have private relationships with members of the opposite sex and are
afraid to ‗publicly‘ test for HIV which leads to unsafe practices. I think if children and their
parents were free to discuss anything, the youth would probably have better advice and be at
least safer than they are now.

Children benefit from high quality relationships with their fathers. It has been wellestablished that positive fathering behaviors have extensive benefits for children4 (Lamb, 1997).
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Akullo and Kanzikwera in their research done in Western Uganda discovered how the improvement in Agriculture
improves the living conditions of many of the people in the region. Depending on Agriculture can be risky because
it involves weather dependence for a developing country. If the season is not favorable, then there is less
productivity hence fewer resources for the family.
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Lamb. Michael, Ph.D is head of the Section on Social and Emotional Development at the National Institute of Child
Health and Human Development. He has published extensively in the child development literature, with a focus on


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When I was nine, I was taken to a boarding school that was far from home and my father drove
me to school at the start and end of term. I liked it every time he took me himself instead of
asking a relative to help. This, in a way, strengthened my relationship with my father to the
extent that I felt I loved him more than I loved my mother, something not very common
especially with girls. As time went by, my father got busier and I had to go to school by myself,
which I didn‘t like. Somehow, the bond started weakening and when I look back, I realize that
simple acts from our parents affect our relationships with them because the satisfaction I always
began my term with was now gone and I went to school crying most of the time because I felt all
by myself.
Lewis Michael, an American non-fiction author and financial journalist, with Rosenblum, an
Associate Professor of Practice in the Department of Disability and Psychoeducational Studies at
the University of Arizona, in their research on how infants can affect their care givers write:
Thirty years ago parenting meant mothering, and studies either frankly labeled
their subjects "mothers," or one quickly learned that all the subjects were women,
though the title referred to parents. Two decades ago, one began to see the label
"care-giver," presumably to project the notion that parenting can be done not only
by fathers as well as mothers, but by nonparent surrogates too (Lewis, M &
Rosenblum, L 1974).
This shows how society is slowly transforming in its understanding of parental roles and
upbringing of children. However, some different societies are coping at different paces and
Uganda happens to be among those slowly adjusting to the reality that parenting is meant for
father and mother alike. It seems to still favor fathers when it comes to benefits of having
children and having mothers do the work of bringing up the children. This doesn‘t rule out
mothers‘ influence on father involvement. Mothers can support or discourage, enhance or
undermine fathers‘ relationships with their children. This is why good relations are vital between
the two.

parent-child relationships, non-parental child care, and forensic interview processes. Lamb‘s research emphasizes
the need for good father-child relations because of the bond they create and the freedom it gives to a child. It is
generally a good feeling to be free with people around you atleast due to the sense of security it creates. Living in
fear of a tough parent can negatively impact a child‘s general development.


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Dreisbach Rose, in her article on parenting in Uganda notes that:
Children in Uganda are sole property of their fathers, and take on their fathers‘
names, religions and land, no questions asked. The mothers have little say, even
though they are obviously a huge part of bringing the children into the world and
raising them. For a long time in Uganda, a very high percentage of the time, boys
were favored above girls. It was commonly believed that if a man did not produce
a boy, then he wasn't considered a real man. Fortunately, some of the beliefs
affecting the gender inequality in Uganda are slowly changing.‖
This is the sad reality of favoring gender in Uganda, and it‘s changing at a very slow rate. The
way children are brought up to think that boys are more important than girls in all aspects,
contributes to the neglect of parental roles by many fathers because it is seen as ―women‘s
work.‖ This effect stems right from childhood and affects how some people behave even later in
life; issues like battering women would be long gone if this kind of attitude of male superiority
was at a lower level than it is.

Also, the fact that Ugandans, like many other communities, still view males as superior has
hindered some privileges to children as they grow up in families. Seeking a satisfying balance
between one‘s professional career and personal life is a challenge for many parents, especially
mothers because they are the main role-players. It is true that sometimes time falls towards work
and other times towards the children but both parents will need to support each other for good
progress. If a mother is sick for example, a baby has almost no one to give proper care, yet
he/she has another parent. I don‘t understand why both parents should come back tired from
work with the mother rushing to prepare food for supper and clean up the baby and the father
sitting down to read newspapers. This happens a lot in Uganda and I really think it is not a good
practice. A boy who grows up watching this happen will most likely not think of ever assisting
his partner in house chores. Males are brought up to think that women should do the work at
home. My brother calls it ―girls‘ work.‖ The image displayed to the young boys has hindered
change when it comes to roles in families. The reason we still have many concerns and
comments about working mothers and their having a balanced life is society‘s view on
parenthood. It is true that only mothers can breastfeed, for example, but they are not the only
person that should be involved in child-rearing.


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Bowlby (1988, pp. 176–177) proposed that highly ambivalent women who perceive that
their husbands are unsupportive across the transition to parenthood usually experience increases
in depressive symptoms. It can be depressing having to handle something alone when someone
else could help. This is not to say that husbands or fathers are not fully supportive. Some fathers
support their children in different ways that may not be exactly what mothers or children expect
but their contribution is valuable. A father who, once in a while, takes children on a ride makes a
big contribution to their social life. It may not seem like much, but it is something done for the
children. In Uganda, however, many fathers don‘t see such a thing as important; at least not as
important as going out with their male friends. I think this is neglect of the ‗small‘ things that
matter in the life of a child. Both parents have a contribution to make to the overall growth of a
child.
Calderone M. (1904-1998), a physician and a public health advocate for sexual education
had this to say: "Our children are not going to be just our children. They are going to be other
people's husbands and wives and parents of our grandchildren5." This, in my opinion, should ring
a bell in the minds of parents to take their role seriously because it prepares the countries and the
world for the future. The little children and youth are the leaders and parents of tomorrow. We
have a culture of inheritance of property in Uganda. It is sad that most tribes still give all their
family belonging to the males in the family, claiming that at the end of the day, girls will go
away in marriage. The women, of course, don‘t like this kind of thing because it is not fair not to
give anything to the girls just because the deceased didn‘t write anything about sharing with the
girls. My opinion is that children need to be taught fairness and equality right from childhood.
―Gender and age have been simultaneously at the margins and the center of the sociology
of deviance.‖ Children are generally not supposed to speak up against their parents‘ opinion in
Uganda or it will be considered disrespect, especially if they are girls. The girls are expected to
be less out-going than the boys. Sandberg Sheryl in Lean In emphasizes how the gender
stereotypes introduced in childhood continue to be re-enforced throughout our lives and end up
becoming self-fulfilling prophecies (Sandberg 2013). She compares the differences in treatment

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Calderone has a very important message to all parents across the globe. There is need for fathers and mothers to
co-operate in order to raise children that won‘t be a problem to other people in the community.


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from childhood, stressing how the treatment reflects the belief that girls need to be helped more
than boys; which makes girls grow up dependent on other people.6 This is not particular to
Ugandan families and communities but it is particularly worse in communities where many
people are illiterate and have not seen a lot that females can do. This kind of mentality instilled
in a child because of what they see, do or are told right from their families affects them almost
their entire lives. Mothers and fathers need to co-operate and bring up motivated children, both
boys and girls, starting from the toys they buy them. Why should boys have toys that trigger their
thinking on how to use them and girls have only dolls that they will just carry around the house.
This happens a lot in Ugandan communities. The boys have toy cars, planes and sorts of things
that help them to think but the girls are given toys that don‘t require them to think about
anything. I think it is helpful to teach children to think and ask why right from their infant stages.

Another factor which is a great concern is the neighborhood and specific communities each
family is in. Besides raising children in a morally upright manner, it is the responsibility of the
parents to ensure that there is maximum security around the home as one of the precautions to
protect the family. Although my research is on specific families, they don‘t exist independent of
other families. Children have a right to play, for example, and they, in most cases will play with
children in their neighborhood if they are home. This, in Uganda is something that some parents
take seriously while others tend to neglect it and assume children can play at any time with any
other children. According to Alalo Christine 7 from the Child Protection Unit of Uganda Police,
―As a parent, there is need to provide adequate information to a child so they could protect
themselves.‖ Security of a home begins with both the parents and their children. If the role is left
to one parent or if they neglect the urgency of their children‘s security, the result can be
regrettable. The good side of children being able to visit the neighborhood is that it boosts their
knowledge about certain matters in society. They get to know how certain things are done

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I feel sad that this whole issue of gender inequality and unfairness seems to be having more decades and centuries
of existence. Sandberg gives her life story and explains how up to now some people tell her she is too bold as a
woman. It is true that girls have a habit of feeling undeserving when complimented. Something that I have seen a lot
among my friends who think ‗my heart is not feminine‘ just because am myself, ‗way too bold for a girl.‘ Parents
and those who impact our upbringing need to be optimistic about life for proper impact from childhood.
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Alalo advises parents and care-takers basing on the prevailing situations that are very alarming and risky to the
children‘s lives. Their security is a vital aspect just like it is for any other person and the society they live in is a big
determinant of this.


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elsewhere other than having an idle mind. Parents need to strike a balance for their children‘s
safety in Uganda; especially in urban settings where the population is increasing continually
more than in rural settings.
In conclusion, Like Jamie says, ―no individual study is able to address the whole of a
complex problem‖ (Jamie, R 2011). Different studies aimed at different aspects of the problem
could sequentially build upon one another and address the concerns. A universal truth, however,
is that most parents regardless of economic status, race, religion, or any other factors, want the
best for their children. Even, with the challenges parents in Uganda face, this truth is ever as true
for them. The factors mentioned in this paper and more left out are still indicators that gender
equity is far from being realized in Ugandan families concerning parental roles for their children.
The beliefs of who is supposed to perform which role have a great impact on our lives, more so
on children‘s lives when they miss out on some things because of the predefined roles of their
parents. ―A woman who feels that she should be solely responsible for daily caretaking and not
at all responsible for financial provision holds an implied and complementary set of standards
that the father should be responsible for financial provision and not at all for caretaking. As such,
each partner holds two sets of beliefs—one for him/herself and one for his/her counter-identity‖
(Kari 2013). There may not be a perfect style of parenting or bringing up children but at the least,
both parents need to bring up their children together, working in all possible situations to get the
best out of their children because it all impacts their growth and the kind of people they become.

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