mylene ferranco

1. How to Make
your
Marriage
Great…

3. Marriage (or wedlock) is a
Marriage social union or legal contract
between people that creates
kinship. The definition of
marriage varies according to
different cultures, but is usually
an institution in which
interpersonal relationships,
usually intimate and sexual, are
acknowledged. Such a union,
often formalized via a
wedding ceremony, may also be
called matrimony. Many cultures
limit marriage to two persons of
the opposite sex, but some allow
forms of polygamous marriage,
and some recognize same-sex
marriage.

4. Marriage is less valued today than ever before.
Marriage and the way we view it today, differs greatly from
the past. Couples no longer have to be married to a family.
My views and opinions on marriage and its meaning have
changes considerably. Marriage isn’t necessarily less valued,
necessarily less values, it’s just viewed differently. The fact
that the divorce has doubled in the last twenty years could
lead to believe that marriage isn’t important to the couple
anymore. Instead of persevering and working at married life,
people are more frequently choosing to end their
relationship.

5. Most of the couple’s here in the
Philippines didn’t have very good
training on how to be a great marriage
partner. They only learned by
observing their parents and watching
couples on TV sitcoms. Few of them
had adequate pre-marital counseling, if
any at all. So they have learned to fight
about chores, control each other with
guilt, give each other the silent
treatment, take each other for granted,
and gossip about each other to friends,
parents and even our kids. Instead of
understanding and appreciating the
differences between men and women,
wives learned to be offended whenever
their husband behaved like a man, and
husbands learned to be irritated
whenever their wife behaved like a
woman.

6. Based from what I observed and from the data's I’ve
gathered here are some ways on how to make a marriage
great.
1. Seek out others who have a
great marriage and learn from
them. Ask what they do to keep
their marriage strong. Spend
time with them so you can
observe the way they speak to
one another. Watch what they
do to show each other love.
Notice the way they look at each
other. (Limit your time with
women who complain about
their husbands and men who
can’t stand their wives).

7. 2. Find out what makes your spouse feel loved.
Does your wife love it when you surprise
her with flowers? Does your husband enjoy
a foot rub at the end of a long day? How
does your wife react when you help out
with chores without being asked? Does
your husband smile when you say, "Thanks
for going to work today?" Does your wife
well up with pride when you say, "Dinner
tastes great, thanks for cooking"? Does your
wife feel like a queen when you drop her
off in front of the mall so she doesn’t have
to walk in the cold? Does your husband
blush when you compliment him in front
of your friends, family and kids? If you
aren’t sure what makes your spouse feel
loved, ask! Instead of keeping score of who
worked harder each day, treat each other
the way you did when you first fell in love.

8. 3. Go on dates!
Do the activities you did that made you fall in
love in the first place. The most loving couples I know go
on weekly dates, even if—especially if—they have kids.
Even if it’s just going out for a cup of coffee, it gives
them a chance to slip out of their role as Mom and Dad,
and just enjoy each being with each other as husband
and wife.

9. 4. Read a book, see a counselor, or attend a seminar
designed to improve your marriage
Insightful books like, The
Secrets of Happily Married
Women by Dr. Scott Haltzman can
transform your marriage! If you
struggle with one issue in
particular, such as difficult in-laws,
read a book so you can learn how
to unite as a couple. If you and
your wife argue about sex, go to a
couples' marriage conference and
attend a workshop about how to
have a more fulfilling sex life. If
you and your wife often disagree
about parenting decisions, visit a
marriage-friendly therapist who
can offer wise advice.

10. 5. Make your spouse your first priority over your parents,
boss and even your kids.
Every day, you are presented with several choices
that either will or will not reflect your priorities. One of my
favorite quotes (by Stephen Covey) is, "Anything less than a
conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious
commitment to the unimportant." Your marriage is
important, so make sure to protect it by making wise
decisions.

11. 6. Marriage Based on Faith in Jesus Christ
A happy marriage will be more
easily developed and maintained upon a firm
foundation of faith in Jesus Christ. Elder
Marlin K. Jensen of the Seventy said:
"A final gospel truth that will
contribute to our understanding of and hence
the quality of our marriages relates to the
degree in which we involve the Savior in our
relationships as husbands and wives. As
designed by our Heavenly Father, marriage
consists of our first entering into a covenant
relationship with Christ and then with each
other. He and his teachings must be the focal
point of our togetherness. As we become
more like him and grow closer to him, we
will naturally become more loving and grow
closer to each other.

12. 7. Keep Stress Levels Low
It's so much harder to react rationally and kindly when
we are stressed. Learning how to lower our level of stress,
especially in regard to finances, is a great way to have a
happy, healthier marriage.

13. 8. Spend time together
Even ten minutes a
day of uninterrupted time
to touch base builds
connection. Spending more
time when available and
setting aside time to be
together (e.g., date nights)
are just as important. The
key is being present,
focusing only on the
person in front of you, to
the exclusion of all other
distractions. This builds
connection and closeness.

14. 9. Listen and support each other
It is essential to learn how to actively listen to each
other and express support for your spouse’s day-today life
issues, no matter how small and mundane.

15. 10. Express gratitude
Remember to say “thank
you” for the little things you
often take for granted. Even
though you expect your spouse
to take out the garbage, cook
dinner, and pick up the dry
cleaning, it is important to
express your appreciation as
often as possible. If you would
do it for a stranger, why not for
your spouse? Expressing
gratitude increases the positive
feelings you will have regarding
your relationship.

16. 11. Be kind to each other
Express compassion and
understanding. Learn to listen to
your spouse’s pain, validate it
and help her stay strong. This is a
special kindness that helps your
spouse feel that she is not alone.
Show your concern by doing the
little things that your spouse will
appreciate. Go beyond the call of
duty and help your spouse
without letting her know. Do the
things that only you will know
are meaningful and appreciated
by your spouse.

17. 12. Respond to your spouse
Never ignore even seemingly trivial conversation with
your spouse. Giving each other the gift of attention shows
that your partner is important to you.

18. 13. Be influenced
Don’t be afraid to listen to your spouse and change your
ideas or opinions on issues big and small. Insisting on your way
may feel right at the moment, but that is not healthy for a
marriage. Be open to what is important to your spouse. Being right
has little value in marriage; making your spouse happy is what
counts.

19. 14. Argue respectfully
Conflict is ubiquitous in relationships, not a sign of trouble. How
you argue is the key. You don’t have to yell to be heard. Criticism,
defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling destroy marriages. Address the
issue, don’t attack the person. Don’t overreact if your spouse is upset; he is
probably looking for support, not a fight. If you find yourself being
contemptuous of your spouse, it’s time to recall all the positive things
about your relationship. If you’re too upset to talk about it at that moment,
make a time to continue the conversation; don’t just walk away. Arguing is
better than no communication.

20. 15. Make up
Practice and learn
how to fix things during
and after a fight. “Love
is never being afraid to
say I’m sorry.” Using
humor, changing the
subject and avoiding
sensitive issues are all
expressions of your
concern about the
relationship and making
sure arguments don’t
damage it. Remember,
kindness counts.

21. 16. Create rituals
Create times that are touchstones of your
relationship to help keep it healthy—whether it’s bike
riding Sunday mornings or going to Starbucks every
Thursday night. Couples connect to each other by engaging
in rituals, by sharing purposeful activities together.

22. 17. Shared meaning
Doing meaningful
things together makes your
relationship more special.
You and your spouse
should get involved in
a chased activity that you
both are passionate about.
Volunteer to work with
developmentally disabled
youth or visit the lonely
people at the local nursing
home. Be adventurous.
You’ll both benefit from the
experience, and your
relationship will blossom.

23. Conclusion:
Every marriage needs
help now and then, both
during the good times and
when things become difficult.
Remember that most
problems have solutions.
Don't ignore the problems
and issues in your marriage.
If your marriage is in trouble,
get started and make the
necessary changes together
that will help your marriage
be a successful, long lasting
union.

24. THIS VIDEO
MEANS A LOT
TO ME

25. Thank you
for
Listening!!!